The couch thread

[friedquads]

That's even fucking funnier.

The CFE guru got smoked on the run, then like a crybaby he quit? TRUE DNF! Way to stick to your guns, BMac.

Was this before the Unscared tattoo bullshit?

Fuck I hate this guy

With how much he doesn't finish what he starts, I'm surprised the tattoo doesn't say "UNSCA".

[Turdacious]

Even after he claimed on the CF message boards that he would Finish top 10 in CF Games and top 10 in Badwater in the same year.

Dude is not and has not ever even qualified to run Badwater, nevermind finish top 10.

I have heard him on two podcasts recently where, although he didn't say that he had done Badwater, he didn't correct the interviewer who claimed that he did. Actually, both intros were nearly the same (WS 100 and Badwater finisher) so likely prepared and submitted by BMac himself.

Couch is Bmac's mentor-- you expected self respect?

[tzg]

Man, he's looser with his biography than (Dr.) Bachmann, it seems.

[kreator]

Even after he claimed on the CF message boards that he would Finish top 10 in CF Games and top 10 in Badwater in the same year.

Dude is not and has not ever even qualified to run Badwater, nevermind finish top 10.

I have heard him on two podcasts recently where, although he didn't say that he had done Badwater, he didn't correct the interviewer who claimed that he did. Actually, both intros were nearly the same (WS 100 and Badwater finisher) so likely prepared and submitted by BMac himself.

He also never corrected Competitor magazine when they said that he did Badwater.

He has crewed for Badwater, not run it -- huge difference.

[Mountebank]

Some @F poetry from CJ Kim's FB page:

This is my gym. These PVC pipes are my PVC pipes. When people use real bars, they get stronger. But when I use PVC, I can go faster. These med-balls are my med-balls. When I want to Rhabdo my quads, I throw one of them at a piece of tape on the wall hundreds of time (epic vid available). When I have rhabdoed my quads, I sit on it like an uncomfortable bean bag chair and just hang on. This plywood bumper is my plywood bumper. The weight I try to lift in this life. The splinters hurt me, but the hand gashes make me eleet. I'm not much stronger now than I was a week ago, a month ago, a year ago, a decade ago. And I'm only going to get weaker, but my Fran time is a monster. Does that scare you? It shouldn't. My delusions are grandeurous, my multi-modal mediocrity is just sad, my life is a testimony to the power of a cult that is strong over me and a wallet that goes so deep. I am a crossfitter. And this is my gym. In the comments write your motivational poem.

This $1000 was my $1000. Now it is forever lost in the couch.

I am impervious to science and empirical studies. I am the sum of anecdotal evidence, wild conjecture and boastful claims.

I stand on the shoulder of giants, and take credit for it all.

I forge elite fitness through ambiguous word-smithing and venomous attacks against all potential detractors.

I defriend people on Facebook who question my attendance at elite crossfit running seminars because my elite mental toughness can't handle any criticism.

I am crossfitter, and I can't throw a softball to save my life.

Inspired by this vomitous prose.

[Andy77]

Some @F poetry from CJ Kim's FB page:

This is my gym. These PVC pipes are my PVC pipes. When people use real bars, they get stronger. But when I use PVC, I can go faster. These med-balls are my med-balls. When I want to Rhabdo my quads, I throw one of them at a piece of tape on the wall hundreds of time (epic vid available). When I have rhabdoed my quads, I sit on it like an uncomfortable bean bag chair and just hang on. This plywood bumper is my plywood bumper. The weight I try to lift in this life. The splinters hurt me, but the hand gashes make me eleet. I'm not much stronger now than I was a week ago, a month ago, a year ago, a decade ago. And I'm only going to get weaker, but my Fran time is a monster. Does that scare you? It shouldn't. My delusions are grandeurous, my multi-modal mediocrity is just sad, my life is a testimony to the power of a cult that is strong over me and a wallet that goes so deep. I am a crossfitter. And this is my gym. In the comments write your motivational poem.

This $1000 was my $1000. Now it is forever lost in the couch.

I am impervious to science and empirical studies. I am the sum of anecdotal evidence, wild conjecture and boastful claims.

I stand on the shoulder of giants, and take credit for it all.

I forge elite fitness through ambiguous word-smithing and venomous attacks against all potential detractors.

I defriend people on Facebook who question my attendance at elite crossfit running seminars because my elite mental toughness can't handle any criticism.

I am crossfitter, and I can't throw a softball to save my life.

Inspired by this vomitous prose.

Oh Jesus fucking holy shit! That's the funniest goddamn thing ever written ever on IGX or any other place ever. I almost puked laughing so hard and for so long. Praises be unto you brother!!!

times one million.

[WildGorillaMan]

I give up. Seriously, how can you troll people who troll themselves better than you ever could?

http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/007825.html

[Anon]

I am not saying there is anything wrong with tossing your toddler in the air.

It is the classic @ssfit response to diffuse such criticism.

Post similar content as a "we don't care what you think"

It will be funny until some unfortunate kid really gets hurt as a result of their foolishness.

Perhaps there needs to be an additional rider for the RRG if you let minors in your bawx.

Its necessary and well, it's going to be pricey.

[WildGorillaMan]

Top that, Liz.

[WildGorillaMan]

How can you troll the untrollable, 2.0?

http://crossfitlisbeth.tumblr.com/post/ ... ebody-stop

[lasalle]

[sanitized reality]

I give up. Seriously, how can you troll people who troll themselves better than you ever could?

http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/007825.html

From the comments:

I don't get it. A father and his daughter having
fun on the beach. A fit man lightly tossing his
spawn in a controlled fashion. Those "offended"
need to get a grip. Go to the third world
or " developing" world to see true child
abuse and neglect. As a father of a little girl
and frequent flyer to the third world, I commend
this man. At least he is showing his daughter
some attention. That's more than you can say for
many developed nation fathers.

Comment #26 - Posted by: Drew A. at August 20, 2011 7:27 PM

If you hate throwing babies, you hate America: the retarded, grammatically incorrect emo edition.

[Beer Jew]

I don't get it. A father and his daughter having
fun on the beach. A fit man lightly tossing his
spawn in a controlled fashion. Those "offended"
need to get a grip. Go to the third world
or " developing" world to see true child
abuse and neglect. As a father of a little girl
and frequent flyer to the third world, I commend
this man. At least he is showing his daughter
some attention. That's more than you can say for
many developed nation fathers.

Comment #26 - Posted by: Drew A. at August 20, 2011 7:27 PM

There is so much wrong in that quote it's beyond belief. WTF do developing countries have to do with anything?

Mr Drew is proof that the best part of most @ssfitters dribbled down their mothers legs.

[sanchezero]

this chick wouldn't get DQ'd



crossft is pretty fucking elite.

[Cave Canem]

I give up. Seriously, how can you troll people who troll themselves better than you ever could?

http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/007825.html

Looks to me like the comments have been "sanitized".

[jgmack]

It wasn't for this incessant thread there would be liitle going on here. The only good thing about the thread are the images of Allison Bishop and it's been a while since there were any new ones.

[Mickey O'neil]

Was looking over Defranco's site earlier and came across this. Of course, we all knew this anyway.

Q: Coach Defranco,

I just spent a few hours looking through your website and didn’t come across anything regarding your thoughts on nfl players and other athletes using crossfit. I know your big into the mental aspect of athletic preparation so I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. Thanks for all your invaluable contributions to the industry sir. -Sam

A: Sam,

I'm going to preface my answer by saying that I have nothing against crossfit for the general fitness population. I know many police officers, fire fighters and weekend warriors who love the quick, challenging workouts associated with crossfit. I will also take Crossfit gyms over "carpet & chrome" health clubs any day of the week!!! But, with that being said, I am not a fan of Crossfit for high school, college or pro athletes. Here's why...

There are a bunch of reasons why crossfit isn't optimal for athletes, but my biggest problem with crossfit for athletes is that there is no specific focus to their workouts; it's a "Jack of all Trades" type of mentality. I've seen crossfit workouts that consisted of 20 meter sprints, 30-rep sets of snatches, high rep 'kipping' pull-ups, squat jumps and handstand push-ups. This type of training isn't optimal for athletes because athletes need to develop specific physical attributes to excel at their sport.



For example, football players need to develop maximal strength, explosive power, speed, agility, mobility, specific endurance, etc. BUT, the "catch" is that they don't need to develop every attribute equally. The key is knowing when, how much and how often to train each attribute. Dave Tate spoke about this topic at a seminar at my gym a few years back; he used a great analogy that I still love to use today. He compared training to going out to dinner. When you go out to dinner, you'll have a few appetizers, a main course and dessert. You don't go too crazy on the appetizers because you want to save room for your main course. You really stuff yourself on the main course because that's what you went out to dinner for in the first place. Then, you may or may not have dessert, depending if you have 'room' or not. Here's how the "dinner analogy" compares to training athletes... Let's take a football player/wide receiver as our example: a wide receiver should look at speed/agility as their "main course" in training. Maximal strength and mobility will probably be two of the "appetizers" for most NFL receivers. Hypertrophy training/bodybuilding methods may be "dessert" for some of the skinnier bastards in the NFL. If wide receivers "fill up" on one of their appetizers (maximal strength) by training too much like powerlifters, they won't "have enough room" for their main course! In other words, if they're maxing out on bench, squat and deadlift 3X a week, they won't have enough energy (muscularly or neurologically) to put sufficient effort into their sprinting/route-running workouts! Hopefully this analogy hammered home my point. Simply put, every athlete needs to focus on improving different attributes (during different times of the year) in order to excel at their sport. They must first define these attributes and then define the order of importance on their specific "training menu" during different phases of the training year.

The problem with crossfit is that EVERYTHING is the "main course" -- aerobic endurance, maximal strength, strength endurance, jump training, anaerobic circuits, Olympic lifting, etc. This is like going out to dinner and ordering steak, tofu, pancakes, sushi, ravioli's and cereal -- THERE'S JUST TOO MUCH RANDOM FOOD TO DIGEST!! And you know what happens when you eat too much random foods that don't mix well together? ...YOU PUKE!

Hmm, sounds kinda like a crossfit workout!?

The bottom line is that when you try and train for everything, you usually end up with nothing. If you want to get to a high level in any sport, you must focus your training on things that will specifically help you with the physical demands of your specific sport.

[kreator]

It wasn't for this incessant thread there would be liitle going on here. The only good thing about the thread are the images of Allison Bishop and it's been a while since there were any new ones.

Will you stop giving that chick more attention than she deserves?

[Dan Martin]

CrossFit is rather nebulous. And as such, rather annoying. But, a lot of people have gotten off their dead asses and started training.

[Dan Martin]

On the other hand, how come no one from CrossFit has gone over to Japan and kicked the shit out of those Ninja shows?

[jgmack]

It wasn't for this incessant thread there would be liitle going on here. The only good thing about the thread are the images of Allison Bishop and it's been a while since there were any new ones.

Will you stop giving that chick more attention than she deserves?

She isn't all that special, but what else does Crossfit have to offer?

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Someone over on CA said Bmac was a Navy Seal.

[Turdacious]

Someone over on CA said Bmac was a Navy Seal.

He almost was. He got a DNF at MEPS.

[Protobuilder]

On the other hand, how come no one from CrossFit has gone over to Japan and kicked the shit out of those Ninja shows?

Contestants on those shows train for.........wait for it..........Ninja show-type competitions. It's not about being able to beat somebody at their own sport - it's about being able to beat somebody in a competition that they have never trained for that matters.

Come on, you know this stuff.

[TerryB]

Someone over on CA said Bmac was a Navy Seal.

He almost was. He got a DNF at MEPS.