Best of Kaz-- IGx Poet Laureate

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Re: Best of Kaz-- IGx Poet Laureate

Post by Turdacious » Sun Aug 18, 2013 1:33 am

Kazuya Mishima wrote:Also, I can't think of two better bed partners than GS and full-contact karate. These are like the perfect one-two punch of sexual napalm for people who are into sweat, pain, and monotony.
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Re: Best of Kaz-- IGx Poet Laureate

Post by baffled » Wed Aug 21, 2013 7:23 pm

On a related note, Tom Furman is our resident expert on big black cocks. Now, before you get all worked up...what I mean by that is that his live-in artist girlfriend has a lot of friends in the interracial milf porno business, and I'm sure that they talk shop when they're over hanging out at Chez Shaggylicious going on and one about all the nigger dicks they had to suck last week in order to make the rent, etc.

What says you, Tom? I'm sure you've picked up more than a few tid-bits and meaningful insights as it relates to the eternal question of "does size really matter"?

Personally, I'm convinced that size really does matter, but to that I add a few situational caveats. You see, the statement "size really matters" automatically conjures the assumption that "bigger is better". Well, we all know that it is completely relative to the situation at hand. Let's say that you're Tom's friend Janet Mason on the set of the latest scene shoot for 'Milfs Like a Big Black Cock Double Donging'. Ok, so that means that she's taking one in the puss, and one in the pooper. I am quite CERTAIN...and by certain I mean I would bet a week's paycheck...that she would want the larger of the two BBC's to get jammed all up in her cooch while the smaller of the two present specimens is getting gingerly wedged up her shitter with appropriate care and proper lubrication. Same thing with blowjobs. I mean, if you've got to suck on a dick for whatever reason...keeping the landlord off your back for another week, paying the hosting fees for your Chaos and Pain website, or just keeping your millionaire husband happy...I'm quite certain that four inches of semi-flaccid fury is a WHOLE lot more enjoyable than 10+ inches of Pringles can become flesh incarnate on the back of ya THROAT. Amirite?
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Re: Best of Kaz-- IGx Poet Laureate

Post by Turdacious » Mon Sep 09, 2013 10:26 pm

Kazuya Mishima wrote:First and foremost, fuck anything that Shaf has to say...he is a fat house husband, plain and simple.

I mean think about this and really let it sink in...Tom Furman has written a hundred books that nobody has read, and Shaf has a book that everybody says they want to read but the fat bastard can't get around to writing it. Now, how fucked up is that?

Maybe if we could combine Furman/Shaf like in that movie The Fly with that dirty jew Jeff Goldblum. Instead of Brundlefly, it would be ShaggyShaf...a sad mishapen fatass of a creature with a headful of golden locks, a penchant for big tits (besides his own), an idea for a brilliant S&C book, and the actual work ethic to make it happen.

The burning question in my mind is whether or not Shaf's wife would stay with this shambling atrocity. I know for a fact that the GILF artist in Boca would head on down the road and take all her nigger porn girlfriends with her, no doubt about it.
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Re: Best of Kaz-- IGx Poet Laureate

Post by WildGorillaMan » Tue Oct 29, 2013 8:19 pm

Kazuya Mishima wrote:This is what 20 years of participation trophies has led to. If these guys were world class, and throwing around record shattering weights, and had framed gold medals hanging on the wall behind them...we'd be all in. We'd be right there pumping our fists at our monitors and yelling FUCK YEAH USA WITH OUR BIG DICK UP YOUR MOM'S ASS along with them and just basking in the epic douchebaggery that is always allowed for...wait for it...wait for it...winners. Yes...winners.

As it is, I'm seeing guys creaming their pants and cooning for the camera over weights that some fat 16yo Chinese boy has hit in the warm-up room at some provincial championship affair. The only thing I can figure out between the coonery and the interviews and the grandstanding is that this is some poor man's version of Chael Sonnen's schtick. The difference is that Chael beats the fuck out of the world's toughest men on occasion. Jon North is regularly outlifted by the world's strongest women. But...PINK PILLS...PINK PILLS.
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Re: Best of Kaz-- IGx Poet Laureate

Post by JDub » Fri Nov 08, 2013 4:15 pm

Kazuya Mishima wrote:T200 is not a nigger.
T200 wrote:Drinking is for posers until you are drinking Everclear from a an old freebase kit you found in the park.

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Re: Best of Kaz-- IGx Poet Laureate

Post by Turdacious » Wed Apr 23, 2014 4:48 am

Kazuya Mishima wrote:We're still waiting on you to write the book that everyone wants/needs to read, but instead you read the books that should have never been written.
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Re: Best of Kaz-- IGx Poet Laureate

Post by Xian » Tue Sep 30, 2014 10:34 am

Kazuya Mishima wrote:Let's be honest and just go ahead and establish the fact that Islam fails to take root in the brains of higher functioning Homo Sapiens. It's no coincidence that this meme cluster is so prevalent in Third World shit holes...the Middle East, Africa, Southeast Asia, the parts of Europe where any self-respecting white man would refuse to live. Closer to home, the American niqqer brain is fertile ground for the yammering gobbledeegook of Allah and his child molesting prophet. It's a nice and easy bolt on software to go along with the revisionist history and racial power fantasies that Ze Bleckz churn out faster than kids who don't know their own daddy. It's almost 2015, and we're still waiting on Africa to launch a wind powered ship for anyone who is keeping score. Little wonder that the shit stained, fascist doctrines of Islam would hold such sway over the antique central nervous systems that hail directly from that storied land of war, disease, chaos, rape, technological ineptitude, civil disorder, and overall fuckery.
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Re: Best of Kaz-- IGx Poet Laureate

Post by Turdacious » Tue Apr 07, 2015 5:05 pm

Kazuya Mishima wrote:See, I just don't understand fisting porn. To me, that's the smut industry equivalent of videos showing people falling down rails on their skateboards or wrecking their climbing bikes in the woods. It's like a stupid human trick gone terribly awry. I can kind of understand the concept of a very petite chick sticking her dainty hand into the weeping snatch of some large hipped amazon. Ok, she's getting good sidewall stimulation and that feeling of vaginal fullness. But then, motherfuckers just take it into the extreme zone with bitches who are elbow deep in some guy's asshole, or a guy with the hands of a Greek brick mason two-hand stabbing the snatch of some 95 lbs barely legal blonde. I just can't suspend belief long enough to think that there is an actual pleasurable act that is taking place. Honestly, who among us has asked their lady friend to wrap their arm up to the shoulder in latex, lube that sumbitch up with anal eaze, and jam their arm in your rectum until they sustain a rotator injury or your prostate is pushed somewhere north of your Adam's apple? Honestly, who has done that...besides that faggot Seahill?
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Re: Best of Kaz-- IGx Poet Laureate

Post by Turdacious » Tue Aug 30, 2016 4:45 am

Kazuya Mishima wrote:I swear to fucking God, if David Ayer made a screen adaptation of Wuthering Heights, Heathcliff would be stalking around with an AR-15 and checking corners for tangos. This was just a bunch of tactitardness wrapped in a comic book veneer. Imagine a cross between SWAT and Howard the Duck...pretty much this festering dog turd.

I know it may be a bit of a stretch to ask for some level of realism in a superhero movie, but holy shit the people running the government in the DC universe are dumber than the actual dumbasses running the government in Real Space 1.0. So, we gotta go retake Metro City from an ancient goddess who can shit MAJICK, and her equally awesome bro who can ejaculate HOT DEATH from the tips of his fingers. Who you gonna call? Nigga, we got a psychotic bitch with a baseball bat and a Chiappa Rhino with purple daisy dukes pulled so far up the crack of her pancake ass that when she smiles it looks like Barney came in her mowf. And nigga, we got the fireworks salesman from Joe Dirt, but now that fool done left the reservation and he got ROPES. Oh, and Will Smith appearing as Will Smith for the 189th movie in a row because Will Smith just does Will Smith. And a crocodile dude. And a dude who slangz boomerangz and shit. And a Mexican gang banger who is actually the living embodiment of some sort of ancient Indian fire demon. Well, actually that last choice made a lot of sense and he was critical to defeating the ancient badasses, but I digress. Oh, and throw in about FIDDY soldiers because we need ARs and body armor and Glocks and shit.

Jeebus Shakespeare Christ what a fucking mess. And Jared Leto? After all that talk about how he channeled the fucking Joker and never came out of character...he pretty much played it as a dozey tweaker who was about as scary as that waif who asks you for money as you walk from the cashier to the gas pump. Complete fail. I was disappointed that he DIDN'T die. Cesar Romero played a better Joker than this manlet bitch.

Stay away...just stay away...keep your ass at the house and stick with Netflix and pussy getting...you're warned.
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Re: Best of Kaz-- IGx Poet Laureate

Post by Turdacious » Fri Sep 28, 2018 4:03 pm

Kazuya Mishima wrote:
Fri Sep 28, 2018 2:24 pm
I know what you're all thinking...what is the malevolent force that always orchestrates these types of vile proceedings that tear away at the very fabric of our nation...yes...you're right...Coca-Cola.

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