Spectacularly awful sports parents

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syaigh
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Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by syaigh » Wed Oct 19, 2016 2:37 pm

Dealing with some drama right now with some asshole kids and bigger asshole parents on the school cross country team. Apparently, if you email a parent about their child's behavior at practice, you are wrong because you should have warned them that you were going to be warning them. And since they had no advanced warning about their child's behavior, their child must not have been misbehaving. Also, traffic cones apparently throw themselves into the road because no one actually threw them. Even though I watched it happen.

Anyone have any other asshole parent stories to make me laugh so I don't throat punch anyone at the meet today?
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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by Bud Charniga's grape ape » Wed Oct 19, 2016 3:47 pm

I grew up in a neighborhood in Brooklyn called Park Slope. Even in the 80s, when I was growing up, it was a haven for yuppies. Not the truly rich, but architects and oncologists and the like.

Growing up in that neighborhood, I played soccer, because of course I did. Soccer season was a lesson in How Not to Parent. The only specific incident I remember was when one (nice, upper-middle-class, white) parent threatened to fight a 12-year-old boy for taking his kid out with a (clean) tackle. Then he threatened to fight the ref who told him to cool it. Then he threatened to fight the other parents who told him that maybe he was taking this whole thing a little bit too far.

In retrospect, since it was the late 80s, he was probably coked out of his mind.

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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by Kazuya Mishima » Wed Oct 19, 2016 3:52 pm

Well, since cross country is for spoiled, weak, anorexic faggots did you expect the parental units whose fleeting lust spewed these rejects into meat space to be much different from their Auschwitz Olympics prize contender kids?

Ok, I'm kidding...that was mean...

Dealing with assholes (and by that, I mean not getting caught up in their games and contagious attitudes) is one of life's key skills. Even more so if you're going to be involved in sports, as the asshole factor in the sporting world is ratcheted up by a factor of about 5 versus the general population. Great people involved in sports...salt of the earth...just gotta find them among the assholes and idiots...signal, noise, whatnot. If you want to meet the pettiest and most self-centered human beings on the planet, I always say go hang around a baseball complex where a 12u girls softball tournament is going on. There, you will find the smoking gun evidence to support the philosophical underpinnings of EFILism, or at least understand those who pray to Satan for another mass extinction event.

So, yeah...I can share a lot of asshole sport parent stories, but why bother? They're there, they have always been there, they will always be there...my prescription is to smile, be nice, take the high road, and look at them with the cold dead eyes of the shark who cannot be touched by their cocksucking self-centeredness, emotional bullshit and petty politics.

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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by powerlifter54 » Wed Oct 19, 2016 4:18 pm

syaigh wrote:Dealing with some drama right now with some asshole kids and bigger asshole parents on the school cross country team. Apparently, if you email a parent about their child's behavior at practice, you are wrong because you should have warned them that you were going to be warning them. And since they had no advanced warning about their child's behavior, their child must not have been misbehaving. Also, traffic cones apparently throw themselves into the road because no one actually threw them. Even though I watched it happen.

Anyone have any other asshole parent stories to make me laugh so I don't throat punch anyone at the meet today?
LOL. A few years ago my then 14 year old son, who played fairly high level select baseball on a team that played on weekends only, was invited to play for a more rec level team on weekdays. He wanted to play more during the week and the coaches and some of the kids were friends, so he agreed.

The team was not very good it turned out, and very quickly a few coaches left. i was asked to coach, and initially i refused. My son was one of the two best kids on the team and i hated dad's interfering with teams to favor their own kids. But the head coach, a great friend, was persistent. So i agreed hesitantly. I am a but intense about level of effort, practice, and doing the basics right. We worked very very hard with each kid, in inverse relationship to their level of ability. We corrected kids firmly in practice, taught physical and mental skills, and got kids endless fielding practice. And in games we never said anything negative just built them up and encouraged the young men. Well we won a lot of games, in fact every game. And even with kids having a blast and winning i had several contentious parent conferences. One was because i "marginalized" her son by making him wear a batting helmet when i hit him 100 pop ups at second base. Another was because i told the her kid him being on time to practice was his job not his mom's, so get ready on your own. Finally one dad because he kept screaming at his kid to "swing the bat" every pitch. In each case these kids were not very good players but good kids who were nonathletic and very shy. i let the parents vent but then quietly laid out my plan to make them very good at one or two skills, but more importantly teach them winning is based on preparation and repeated efforts. And we only yelled in practice. Each parent was not convinced and each told me i was some derivative of Hitler woshipping conservative small minded asshole. In each case each kid blossomed despite their parents threats to pull their kid or have me fired. At our end of season party two of those parents told me they still didn't like me or my methods but their kids did. One parent told me i had a Napoleon complex and was the biggest asshole she ever met. I smiled and said we had something in common. I thought she had the biggest ass i ever met.

And all those young men stop me very time i see them and say hi and want to talk about that season. My son said it was his favorite team he ever played on.

Be polite, be candid, keep your voice low. And keep doing what you know is right. And don't tell any mom she has a big ass.
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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by WildGorillaMan » Wed Oct 19, 2016 4:34 pm

I credit smartphones for the reduction I've seen in sports parent behavior. There's a lot less goonery on the sidelines when the parents are glued to the social media or dating apps on their phones.
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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by Shapecharge » Wed Oct 19, 2016 5:10 pm

That, Jack, was a most awesome write-up.

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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by syaigh » Wed Oct 19, 2016 5:12 pm

I should have videoed what was going down but then theyd have some other way to explain how i was wrong. I did take pictures of the cones in the street. And I cornered two of the boys this morning and told him they were going to have to come clean with her mom or I was bringing photographic evidence. I'm sure they won't but it scared the shit out of them for a minute.

I like the cold dead eyes. Im a chick so i can totally pull off that "no soul" thing.

I am also good at making women feel fat without actually saying anything.
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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by climber511 » Wed Oct 19, 2016 5:36 pm

powerlifter54 wrote:
syaigh wrote:Dealing with some drama right now with some asshole kids and bigger asshole parents on the school cross country team. Apparently, if you email a parent about their child's behavior at practice, you are wrong because you should have warned them that you were going to be warning them. And since they had no advanced warning about their child's behavior, their child must not have been misbehaving. Also, traffic cones apparently throw themselves into the road because no one actually threw them. Even though I watched it happen.

Anyone have any other asshole parent stories to make me laugh so I don't throat punch anyone at the meet today?
LOL. A few years ago my then 14 year old son, who played fairly high level select baseball on a team that played on weekends only, was invited to play for a more rec level team on weekdays. He wanted to play more during the week and the coaches and some of the kids were friends, so he agreed.

The team was not very good it turned out, and very quickly a few coaches left. i was asked to coach, and initially i refused. My son was one of the two best kids on the team and i hated dad's interfering with teams to favor their own kids. But the head coach, a great friend, was persistent. So i agreed hesitantly. I am a but intense about level of effort, practice, and doing the basics right. We worked very very hard with each kid, in inverse relationship to their level of ability. We corrected kids firmly in practice, taught physical and mental skills, and got kids endless fielding practice. And in games we never said anything negative just built them up and encouraged the young men. Well we won a lot of games, in fact every game. And even with kids having a blast and winning i had several contentious parent conferences. One was because i "marginalized" her son by making him wear a batting helmet when i hit him 100 pop ups at second base. Another was because i told the her kid him being on time to practice was his job not his mom's, so get ready on your own. Finally one dad because he kept screaming at his kid to "swing the bat" every pitch. In each case these kids were not very good players but good kids who were nonathletic and very shy. i let the parents vent but then quietly laid out my plan to make them very good at one or two skills, but more importantly teach them winning is based on preparation and repeated efforts. And we only yelled in practice. Each parent was not convinced and each told me i was some derivative of Hitler woshipping conservative small minded asshole. In each case each kid blossomed despite their parents threats to pull their kid or have me fired. At our end of season party two of those parents told me they still didn't like me or my methods but their kids did. One parent told me i had a Napoleon complex and was the biggest asshole she ever met. I smiled and said we had something in common. I thought she had the biggest ass i ever met.

And all those young men stop me very time i see them and say hi and want to talk about that season. My son said it was his favorite team he ever played on.

Be polite, be candid, keep your voice low. And keep doing what you know is right. And don't tell any mom she has a big ass.
Excellent work!
I coach track and my goal is to make better kids first and better athletes second. Thankfully Track being an individual sport doesn't have all the parent issues that team sports do but there are still a few parents who show their ass now and then. A couple years ago I had an autistic kid - by the end of the season his mom came to me and gave me a hug - said he had always been treated special (either good or bad) by teachers etc and my treating him like everyone else attitude had completely turned him around - couldn't thank me enough. Probably could have gone the other way just as easily though.

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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by Shapecharge » Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:05 pm

Climber, did you fuck her? C'mon now, I know you at least were thinking about it. Never pass up an opportunity to leverage a good deed into scoring some tang. Just sayin'.

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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by Boris » Wed Oct 19, 2016 6:19 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:I credit smartphones for the reduction I've seen in sports parent behavior. There's a lot less goonery on the sidelines when the parents are glued to the social media or dating apps on their phones.
Actually, I've found that some parents seem to be worse because of the phone thing... When they do decide to actually engage in what their kids are doing, they feel like they have to make up for lost time and go apeshit... (no offense Gorilla...)

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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by WildGorillaMan » Wed Oct 19, 2016 7:41 pm

None taken.
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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by johno » Wed Oct 19, 2016 8:16 pm

Regardless of the quality of the replies, I'm bitterly disappointed that you guys answered Syaigh's question. I had my heart set on reading her throat punch story tomorrow.
It would have gone great with my morning coffee.
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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by WildGorillaMan » Wed Oct 19, 2016 8:24 pm

johno wrote:Regardless of the quality of the replies, I'm bitterly disappointed that you guys answered Syaigh's question. I had my heart set on reading her throat punch story tomorrow.
It would have gone great with my morning coffee.
We haven't ruled it out.
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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by Blaidd Drwg » Wed Oct 19, 2016 8:26 pm

johno wrote:Regardless of the quality of the replies, I'm bitterly disappointed that you guys answered Syaigh's question. I had my heart set on reading her throat punch story tomorrow.
It would have gone great with my morning coffee.

Don't worry too much...Having met S IRL, I can tell you, there's an even greater chance with each passing day that a throat punch will be forthcoming. Once you've made some sort of an etiquette or manners infraction, be sure the slap down is coming..it's only a matter of time.

In fact, the last guy to really fuck up publicly eventually ended up in the ICU...true story. (could be related to copious amounts of anabolics and blow he was on)
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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by TerryB » Thu Oct 20, 2016 12:05 am

Kazuya Mishima wrote:Well, since cross country is for spoiled, weak, anorexic faggots did you expect the parental units whose fleeting lust spewed these rejects into meat space to be much different from their Auschwitz Olympics prize contender kids?
:teehee

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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by syaigh » Thu Oct 20, 2016 1:02 am

TerryB wrote:
Kazuya Mishima wrote:Well, since cross country is for spoiled, weak, anorexic faggots did you expect the parental units whose fleeting lust spewed these rejects into meat space to be much different from their Auschwitz Olympics prize contender kids?
No, its actually the lacrosse faggot parents who put their kids in cc for off season conditioning. Apparently they are so far above us, we arent allowed to point out that their precious darlings are just asshole frat boys waiting to happen.

:teehee

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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by syaigh » Thu Oct 20, 2016 2:27 pm

Thanks guys, I appreciate it.

No one got throat punched.

The asshole lacrosse coach dad who interrogated me on the phone on Tuesday (he thought I would cave if he asked me the same question 10 times) didn't show up. He actually didn't have much to say after I told him that unlike him, I coach Olympic sports and have a different set of standards for athlete behavior. His wife who was equally bombastic about our policy of not allowing kids to run who didn't follow directions did not show up either.

The asshole mom who spent all day Monday and Tuesday sending nasty emails to all of us didn't show either. I think that was due to one of our other coaches telling her, in the presence of the vice prinicipal, about how her son was throwing rocks at the ducks instead of running at our last park run.

The mother who was honestly duped by her lying little asshole sons had calmed down, but kept her distance. And her husband is coming to help out at practice today, which I think is absolutely appropriate. I think once they understand the logistics of supervising over 50 middle schoolers running through non-school property, they will be back on board 100%.

And BD is right. Bad manners piss me off.
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Re: Spectacularly awful sports parents

Post by DikTracy6000 » Fri Oct 28, 2016 2:33 pm

Kazuya Mishima wrote:Well, since cross country is for spoiled, weak, anorexic faggots did you expect the parental units whose fleeting lust spewed these rejects into meat space to be much different from their Auschwitz Olympics prize contender kids?

Ok, I'm kidding...that was mean...

Dealing with assholes (and by that, I mean not getting caught up in their games and contagious attitudes) is one of life's key skills. Even more so if you're going to be involved in sports, as the asshole factor in the sporting world is ratcheted up by a factor of about 5 versus the general population. Great people involved in sports...salt of the earth...just gotta find them among the assholes and idiots...signal, noise, whatnot. If you want to meet the pettiest and most self-centered human beings on the planet, I always say go hang around a baseball complex where a 12u girls softball tournament is going on. There, you will find the smoking gun evidence to support the philosophical underpinnings of EFILism, or at least understand those who pray to Satan for another mass extinction event.

So, yeah...I can share a lot of asshole sport parent stories, but why bother? They're there, they have always been there, they will always be there...my prescription is to smile, be nice, take the high road, and look at them with the cold dead eyes of the shark who cannot be touched by their cocksucking self-centeredness, emotional bullshit and petty politics.
I missed this earlier. My daughter who's now 37 played competitive fast pitch softball and volleyball all the way through high school. We were visiting a county girl's softball team 12up and one of other team's dad's was actually heckling our girls, sitting in his lawn chair behind the backstop. He was wearing an open button shirt with gold chain necklace on his too tan flabby chest, long sideburns, and alcoholic red nose. A buddy from work was scouting both our teams as he coached another team and sure we'd both be in the playoffs(yes it was that competitive). He said do you know who that is? I said no, other than their best player's dad. He said that's Butch Wynegar's dad and his little sister is their best player. He recounted how this guy was banned by a court order from attending his daughter's team at home, from an earlier incident when he was escorted by police from that game. I read an article on Butch later, when he quit the Yankees mid-season that he hated baseball after Billy Martin got done with him, but I suspect it started much earlier in his life.

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