Anyone got any recommended resources on grief in the family? Like, how to be useful if your sister's child dies, or your daughter's husband dies, or that kind of thing?
Uh, asking for a friend.
Dunno if they are examples you plucked from fresh air but had a bit of experience of both circumstances a few years back bizarrely enough. Lost 2 daughters on day 1 (twins obviously, complicated birth) and about a month later a friend from work's son in law got taken out by a truck. A lot of folk wouldn't consider the first example proper grief but it sure feels like it to the people involved.
Anyway, my experience; it stays shit for a long while. Way beyond the point where other people still give it any thought. You get lots of well wishes when it first hits then they die off and you're left wrestling with your shit, which can be fucking dark. Periodic enquiries about their welfare and actually wanting to listen to the answer would place you in the top 2% of their social circle in terms of helpfulness. I almost guarantee it. Having a framework to understand death in is helpful to the individual, but you can't really push your own belief on them if you have any. I sat in a church service afterwards and felt physically sick at the vision of death that was being depicted, it really set me back. It wasn't bad or unpleasant, just not how I understood it.