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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 3:47 pm 
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Ed Zachary wrote:
Fuck those self important cunts! They kept their mouths shut and eyes averted when Dan John was Glassassinated. The fell right back into step when Everett and Wolf were Glassassinated. And they've ignored the abuse HQ has heaped on the little fish that swim around big fucking shark that is @fit. So long as they were making money hand over fist they kept their fucking mouths shut but now that every fit trustafarian in their area is getting their level 1 and paying their affiliate fee to open a box down the street and so cutting into their profit they decide to speak up.



=D> =D> =D>

Only the willfully ignorant can complain that HQ is screwing them. Y'all done should knowed that was gonna happen!

It's almost like HQ only cares about da loot!?

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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 7:42 pm 
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tough old man wrote:
I was unfortunately forced to work out in a commercial gym sunday so I could train with some Senior and Master PLers.
Unfortunately the "Xfit" trainer would not go away or leave us alone.
Had to listen to a lecture on the fabulousness that is crossfit while he squatted 155 with plates under his heels. He used a spotter at 185 X 2.
I finally got pissed and said don't be a faggot, crossfit has never produced an athlete ever. Put my headphones in and walked away.


LOL... ATTA BOY TOM!

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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:31 am 
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This comment thread is good for a laugh. One affiliate owner says Couch once said he'd only allow 5000 affiliates, and then there would be a waiting list. My Lord, these are some naive people. Did none of them see how former favored figures were treated when they stepped out of line? Did they think their own treatment would be any different? What idiots. Perhaps some clients will follow when they're kicked out, but now that CF is in the media and all over the crappy fitness magazines there will be an endless parade of sad morons to drink the Kool-Aid and fill the empty spots.

A Russell's reply to Freddy Comancho's complaint about the increasing number of affiliates:
Quote:
Freddy ,
Your perception that we only care about making money is demonstrably false for all of the reasons I've given. This means the "likes" on your facebook status probably only show how universally negative your audience is towards all things CrossFit HQ, regardless of wether or not the thing they "like" are rational or even consistent with their actual views.


Freddy, your audience does not like Crossfit enough. You are cultivating dissension. Time for you to go!


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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:49 am 
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They all suffer from "it'll never be me."


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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:10 am 
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Greg Glassman is a fucking warlock...motherfuckers line up in order to fork over good money so that they can be christened in his imaginary castle and then go back home to do a bunch of silly shit that they could do in their garage for free.

L. Ron Hubbard was right...you wanna make a fortune...start a religion.


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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:26 am 
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Kazuya Mishima wrote:
Greg Glassman is a fucking warlock...motherfuckers line up in order to fork over good money so that they can be christened in his imaginary castle and then go back home to do a bunch of silly shit that they could do in their garage for free.

L. Ron Hubbard was right...you wanna make a fortune...start a religion.


Holy shit! Kaz, it crossed my mind today that this is exactly how churches split up.


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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:00 pm 
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Brother Dan realized a year later, that this was the best thing for his career.

It will be 6 years on January 23, that Glasshole and alcohol created the great "schism". (Yes I done stole the idea already)

For X-fit, the Glassholes (plural) and a few HQ clowns have done very well financially.

Those who got glassinated, have done extremley well financially after the attack.

What is the saying about there is no such thing as bad publicity?

'Cept maybe Garm.

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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:07 pm 
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These people are fucking idiots.

http://crossfitlisbeth.com/2013/01/08/i ... ing-clown/

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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 6:39 pm 
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Before I start, Lisbeth's line:
"But, here’s the thing: they’re wrong. Pukie is CrossFit."
It just reminded me of when we would get Freshman talking Philosophy courses at Utah State and they wanted Professor Johnson to give them an "is" answer like somehow a dictionary approach to education is enough.

Gary is right: from a financial point of view, this is the single best thing that ever happened to me. When I met Gregg and Lauren, I was an administrator who had a website to put my various crazy writings in one place. I was training to try to make the Olympic Trials as a discus thrower and Gary and David drove me down to Santa Cruz to teach the original Xfit people how to snatch and clean and jerk. It was around this time that my first article was published at t-nation: "A Religious Studies Professor looks at High Intensity Training." Boy, that pissed off the Hit Jedis.

Doing Crossfit workouts was as illuminating as my time doing Nautilus. It really did clarify my thinking on so many things. Both Nautilus and Crossfit seem so good on paper, so new and exciting, that it has to work. For me, both options were terrible failures. Doing Xfit in a high school setting allowed me to quickly clue in on the injuries and what is now referred to "slop." The correct amount of slop should be zero, frankly. So, when TC wrote that article...

Small story: I was having lunch with TC in Washington DC and he asked me: "Do you know anything about this thing "Crossfit?" He then told me about his joke in his editorial. I thought it would cause some laughter, but I had no idea that my religious beliefs and my respect for this country would get called out.

Six years later, the lessons of what is wrong with Xfit has really helped my career. On weekends, I hang out with a friend of my father in law who blew his shoulder off doing a Crossfit workout and he has aged ten years in the last year. He is in his 60s and he reminds me about the importance of the "reasonable" approach I use with people. Even with high school kids now I find myself thinking ten years down the road...as those ten years are coming.

You can see that money is the tail that wags the dog here. At my dinner table, Gregg told me and the Twights that there was a lot of money to be made if we went along. Money has never been a motivator in my life, so I found the statement odd. As did Tiff, but she found the misogynist statements throughout the night even more upsetting.

I work still with many of the affiliates and they always apologize first, then tell me they use the name simply as advertising. It is a buzzword. Like many buzzwords like Tupperware, for example, it means so many things to so many people. Las Vegas has a Bikram Yoga and Crossfit gym in one. I think both have value, but both are more religious than most religions.

So, Gary is right. His Birthday is the anniversary of this fine idiocy and I will celebrate the event the same way as always.


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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 7:31 pm 
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Sergeant Commanding
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Dan John wrote:
He is in his 60s and he reminds me about the importance of the "reasonable" approach I use with people. Even with high school kids now I find myself thinking ten years down the road...as those ten years are coming.

I've learned a lot about this looking at the 40/50/60/70-somethings' posts here about training, as well as Mike Caviston's comments on guys in their 40's wishing they'd done things differently.

Turning 40 in a couple years, and thinking that it would be good to have 20 years of tai chi or qigong in by the time I'm 60.

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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 7:55 pm 
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Quote:
CrossFit, at its core, is about the hard truths of life.


Would be funny if it wasn't so insulting to people living with the real hard truths of life.

Quote:
Good things take effort. Results don’t come easy. Sometimes, to get to a really good place, you have to go through a really bad time. Heavy things are hard to pick up.


Not bad stuff.

Quote:
Strength takes guts.


Nope it takes long term hard work and frequency.

Quote:
And, if you’re a cheater, you’re an asshole.


Fascinating statement from a @fitter.

Quote:
These are essential truths.


The propagandist's normal mix of some general truths and some outright whoppers.

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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 9:41 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 10:34 pm 
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That's an awesome perspective, Dan.


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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 6:26 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 1:53 pm 
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Sarge

Joined: Wed Dec 02, 2009 1:25 am
Posts: 213
I enjoy how their shitty Olympic lifts are still done with better technique than I see in my CF videos.


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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 5:53 pm 
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Location: at the intersection of undertraining & overthinking
Twight seems to have changed his tune a bit since back in the day. Just noticed now that he charges 500 dollars a year for an all access pass to his site. I know folks gotta make money and all... BTW can anyone speak personally about the quality of the material available with a pass and whether it's worth the 500 dollar price tag?

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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 6:21 am 
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From Facebook,

Quote:
Luke D. Kayyem wrote:
Dear CrossFit Affiliates. I have been asked by Couch Greg Glassman to meet with him and Freddy Camacho and discuss the controversial challenges that CrossFit Affiliates are facing. If you have any professional questions or issues please email them to me. "This is our chance to speak up"
Coach is listening
Luke@x.com
DO NOT POST HERE


Some positive comments from affiliate follow. Then...
Quote:
Russell Berger wrote:
Luke,
We have now cancelled this meeting. The meeting was not to "discuss the controversial challenges that CrossFit Affiliates are facing". We have already heard all of your concerns in your own words, and they are not new. This was an offer for you to meet with Greg and Dave so that they could clarify HQ's position and explain (in person) how you have misunderstood the Affiliate model.

Unfortunately, you have attempted to exploit this opportunity by trying to turn yourself into an official spokesman for our Affiliates. Our Affiliates speak for themselves, and If they wanted an official liaison between themselves and HQ, I'd hope it was someone who didn't blame his businesses shortcomings on others being given the same opportunity he was.

You've really missed the point Luke, and it's a shame. To use a Greg Glassman quote, "The CrossFit affiliate agreement is a hunting license, not a freezer full of meat." CrossFit teaches the movements, spreads the word, and licenses the legitimate purveyors of fitness. It does not get in the way of legitimate, free market competition. This will not change. A CrossFit affiliate is a professional service - with equal or greater impact in its clients' lives as any doctor or lawyer. Professionals don't have territories - in fact they almost always locate their places of business near each other. To advocate for franchise rules is to compare CrossFit affiliates to KFC and McDonald's. The comparison makes no sense.

CrossFit HQ has deep respect for the perspectives of each and every affiliate, which is why we grant them such a huge amount of individual freedom to make their dreams a reality. I hope that you can eventually come to terms with this and are able to focus your energy back on creating greater value for your clients.



Looks like Freddy, this Luke guy and several of their supporters have met the criteria, per the affiliate agreement, for expulsion from the klan.

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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 1:58 pm 
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Sergeant Commanding
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L-M-F-A-O

These tatted up douchebags thought they were buying a Mercedes dealership...they ended up being Subway and Starbucks franchisees.


"licenses the legitimate purveyors of fitness"

Greg Glassman has about as much first hand knowledge of fitness as that "Vagina Ain't Handicap" bitch.


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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 1:58 pm 
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Gunny

Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:34 pm
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Aren't there limits on the number of hunting licenses given out to make sure that areas don't get overhunted?

Doctors and lawyers have professional organizations run by doctors and lawyers to oversee the training and certification of future doctors and lawyers. They don't have "territories", sure, but CF, Inc. is nothing like the bar or the board.


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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 2:24 pm 
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Sergeant Commanding
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Here's all you need to know about Greg Glassman...Greg has dug himself a little mud hole where his guppy ass gets to be the shark, and he makes the rules in that mud hole. If you get down in the mud hole with Greg, then you need to understand that Greg makes the rules, and no convenient metaphors or appeals to quaint notions of "fairness" and "justice" will change any of that. You are in the mud hole, you are there to serve Greg, and Greg gets the money and the pussy.

The question that's really interesting is why in the world would anyone want to get down in the mud hole with Greg. The only conclusion that I can come to is that in spite of their incessant blog claims of ELITENESS and tattoo camoflauged imagery of BADASSNESS, the average affiliate owner and member is just as guppy assed as the gin soaked gimp himself. Getting down in the mud hole is their opportunity to hold the whistle, yell GO, upload shirtless pics to the intarnetz, and be king to their fiefdom of hapless idiots who have yet to bomb out due to injury or malaise.

Now, once they figure out that the game is not about fitness as much as it is about Greg and his bag of money and pussy train, they do what any reasonable guppy with half a raisin ball would do...they go and dig their own mudhole. The difference between them and Greg is that Greg is much better at convincing others to come serve in his mud hole...thus, his warlock status amongst other males who can only dream of attaining Greg's elite heights as a money grubbing exploiter of weak minded people and inexplicable connoisseur of pussy that should be way out of his reach.

For all you lurking affiliate owner/members reading this...you chose to suck on a shit stained cock, and you deserve everything that you get. Get a real fucking job like the rest of us.


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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 3:06 pm 
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Sergeant Commanding
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Kazuya Mishima wrote:
L-M-F-A-O

These tatted up douchebags thought they were buying a Mercedes dealership...they ended up being Subway and Starbucks franchisees.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeit. Franchises provide standards and support, and vet the shit out of you. They want you to make money and don't let anybody open up another franchise next to you.

Greg is giving you the right to put out a @Fit sign, some false confidence, and absolutely nothing else. It is an incredibly bad deal for somebody wanting to open a business, unless your plan is to rise up and then provoke them into raising your status by throwing you out.

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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 3:29 pm 
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Grandpa's Spells wrote:
Kazuya Mishima wrote:
L-M-F-A-O

These tatted up douchebags thought they were buying a Mercedes dealership...they ended up being Subway and Starbucks franchisees.

Sheeeeeeeeeeeit. Franchises provide standards and support, and vet the shit out of you. They want you to make money and don't let anybody open up another franchise next to you.

Greg is giving you the right to put out a @Fit sign, some false confidence, and absolutely nothing else. It is an incredibly bad deal for somebody wanting to open a business, unless your plan is to rise up and then provoke them into raising your status by throwing you out.


Pretty much. A good franchise is a license to print money.

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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 3:41 pm 
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Kazuya Mishima wrote:
Here's all you need to know about Greg Glassman...Greg has dug himself a little mud hole where his guppy ass gets to be the shark, and he makes the rules in that mud hole. If you get down in the mud hole with Greg, then you need to understand that Greg makes the rules, and no convenient metaphors or appeals to quaint notions of "fairness" and "justice" will change any of that. You are in the mud hole, you are there to serve Greg, and Greg gets the money and the pussy.

The question that's really interesting is why in the world would anyone want to get down in the mud hole with Greg. The only conclusion that I can come to is that in spite of their incessant blog claims of ELITENESS and tattoo camoflauged imagery of BADASSNESS, the average affiliate owner and member is just as guppy assed as the gin soaked gimp himself. Getting down in the mud hole is their opportunity to hold the whistle, yell GO, upload shirtless pics to the intarnetz, and be king to their fiefdom of hapless idiots who have yet to bomb out due to injury or malaise.

Now, once they figure out that the game is not about fitness as much as it is about Greg and his bag of money and pussy train, they do what any reasonable guppy with half a raisin ball would do...they go and dig their own mudhole. The difference between them and Greg is that Greg is much better at convincing others to come serve in his mud hole...thus, his warlock status amongst other males who can only dream of attaining Greg's elite heights as a money grubbing exploiter of weak minded people and inexplicable connoisseur of pussy that should be way out of his reach.

For all you lurking affiliate owner/members reading this...you chose to suck on a shit stained cock, and you deserve everything that you get. Get a real fucking job like the rest of us.


NUGGET!

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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 5:02 pm 
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Sergeant Commanding

Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 1:17 pm
Posts: 7709
Quote:
CrossFit HQ has deep respect for the perspectives of each and every affiliate, which is why we grant them such a huge amount of individual freedom to make their dreams a reality.


=D>

Such a nice bunch of lawyerly bullshit. The far-right "free market!" philosophy is the perfect way to fleece these retards, and they all bought it hook, link and sinker. It lets HQ do whatever the fuck they want and blame everything on the affiliates or label them as whiners and bad businessmen when things go south.

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 Post subject: Re: The couch thread
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2013 9:53 pm 
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The Russell verbal beat downs are amusing, but nowhere near the drunken nastiness of couch or even the holocaust denialism of budding


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