How Do You Cook Your Turkey?

JohnDoe · Post by **JohnDoe** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 6:15 pm

I'm not cooking on the day this year, but my Friendsgiving (more of WorkFriends(ish)giving, was a dry brined, spatchcocked (butterflied), smoked 14-16 lb bird. Gravy was a mustard, white wine, giblet gravy, more a sauce, technically I guess, since it wasn't made from drippings.

Last years I did the same, but it was too salty. I butterflied the bird afterI dry brined it, and stupidly re-dry brined it since so much salt came off as I cut it up.

This year's was exceptional, even with a Perdue bird compared to last year's pastured organic bird.

Despite my shelf of cookbooks, everything came off Serious Eats.

Smoked turkey, though I didn't spice rub: http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2015 ... ecipe.html

Gravy: http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2014 ... ecipe.html

Dry Brining: http://www.seriouseats.com/2014/11/quic ... iving.html

syaigh · Post by **syaigh** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 6:32 pm

My mom cooks the turkey every year, dry as sawdust.

Im no better, my turkeys are usually still bleeding in spots.

However, When my dad was a middle school principal, his home ec teachers made us a turkey one time tgat they cooked by putting it in a paper bag and burying it in the coals of an outside fire (apparently they made a lot of these). Thats all i know about the process but it was the best turkey i ever had. I have to think it was brined as it was moist and had a lot of flavor. Any ideas?

That ^ by the way looks awesome.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 6:38 pm

In a bag. According to the directions, rubbed with a salt and pepper blend and butter, stuffed with lemons, carrots, celery. Comes out decent every time.

Wanted a smoked turkey this year, but don't have a smoker.

I've fried turkey, and it's very good too, but its a hassle fucking with that much hot oil and that big of a bird.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 6:39 pm

I agree with syaigh...that butterflied, smoked turkey looks so fucking good I might run out to get a big green egg to smoke one in.

JohnDoe · Post by **JohnDoe** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 6:46 pm

I just do mine on the Weber. Though the Egg has been calling me for years.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 6:53 pm

I spatchcocked mine this year. It really cuts down on the cooking time, and gets more even doneness throughout.

I brushed butter over the skin and then sea salt and cracked black pepper. Simple and elegant. Turned out great.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 6:55 pm

syaigh wrote:My mom cooks the turkey every year, dry as sawdust.

My idiot mother in law is the kind of old broad who brags about how she "had to" get up at 3am to put the turkey in the oven for a 5pm dinner time.

It's literally inedible unless you drown it in gravy.

Of course nobody tells her she's a shitty cook, instead my idiot in-laws all fawn over it and complement her on it, and perpetuate the cycle of post-mortem animal abuse.

syaigh · Post by **syaigh** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 7:03 pm

Yeah, she's always surprised we dont want to take any with us.

buckethead · Post by **buckethead** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 9:13 pm

Fried. 10 years of perfection in a row

Dunn · Post by **Dunn** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:26 pm

Injected with a mix my wife makes and left to sit overnight in the fridge. Wake up, bake for 4-5 hrs @ 300, enjoy. Turned out pretty damn moist and delicious.

Grandpa's Spells · Post by **Grandpa's Spells** » Sun Nov 20, 2016 10:28 pm

We used Alton Brown's brine a couple years and it's quite good.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 1:40 am

My MIL and own moms cooking is basically atrocious.

bennyonesix · Post by **bennyonesix** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 1:47 am

Bojangles

vern · Post by **vern** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 1:56 am

I'm with bux, deep frying and happy.

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 2:11 am

syaigh wrote:Yeah, she's always surprised we dont want to take any with us.

Buddy would eat it.

Best turkey my wife has ever made was done in one of those baking bags. But I prefer fried.

Pinky · Post by **Pinky** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 3:52 am

Next to cooking the bird too long, stuffing it is the biggest mistake people make. A stuffed bird will either be overcooked or dangerous.

DikTracy6000 · Post by **DikTracy6000** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 1:38 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:
syaigh wrote:My mom cooks the turkey every year, dry as sawdust.
My idiot mother in law is the kind of old broad who brags about how she "had to" get up at 3am to put the turkey in the oven for a 5pm dinner time.

It's literally inedible unless you drown it in gravy.

Of course nobody tells her she's a shitty cook, instead my idiot in-laws all fawn over it and complement her on it, and perpetuate the cycle of post-mortem animal abuse.

Sounds like a great relationship...lol. Please elaborate.
My wife who's a fair to good cook, has never made a bad turkey, even though she claims to a shitty cook. On that smoked turkey thing, one of my employees years ago, was a turkey-farmer's daughter and she gave me a smoked turkey and a smoked duck from the farm over two different years. It was stupendous. On a side note, when I hired her for her first job out of college, her dad came in to meet me, wearing typical farmer duds, he told me in her presence, if she ever gives me any trouble, just put her over your knee. She turned a deep shade of red. Sorry for my thread hi-jack.

nafod · Post by **nafod** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 4:54 pm

I googled the spatchcocking, and now am pressing my wife to give it a go. Sounds like too much sense.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 6:56 pm

nafod wrote:I googled the spatchcocking, and now am pressing my wife to give it a go. Sounds like too much sense.

I do all my roast and grilled chickens that way now too. I was a little nervous about cooking a bigger bird that way but it turned out really well!

bennyonesix · Post by **bennyonesix** » Mon Nov 21, 2016 9:16 pm

Ima do this. 20lber spathchcocked and dry brined for two days. I may do it on oven rack over veggies too.

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Tue Nov 22, 2016 4:37 am

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:I agree with syaigh...that butterflied, smoked turkey looks so fucking good I might run out to get a big green egg to smoke one in.

Is there anyone here with a BGE? Maybe one that they got for fathers day?

johno · Post by **johno** » Tue Nov 22, 2016 6:20 am

Turdacious wrote: Is there anyone here with a BGE? Maybe one that they got for fathers day?

Turd, you & I have been on IGx from the start. If someone here had a Big Green Egg that they got for Fathers' Day, surely we would have heard about it by now.

Pinky · Post by **Pinky** » Tue Nov 22, 2016 9:23 pm

johno wrote:
Turdacious wrote: Is there anyone here with a BGE? Maybe one that they got for fathers day?
Turd, you & I have been on IGx from the start. If someone here had a Big Green Egg that they got for Fathers' Day, surely we would have heard about it by now.

I don't even think it's possible for someone to be so lucky as to receive a Big Green Egg on Fathers' Day.

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Tue Nov 22, 2016 10:15 pm

Pinky wrote:
johno wrote:
Turdacious wrote: Is there anyone here with a BGE? Maybe one that they got for fathers day?
Turd, you & I have been on IGx from the start. If someone here had a Big Green Egg that they got for Fathers' Day, surely we would have heard about it by now.
I don't even think it's possible for someone to be so lucky as to receive a Big Green Egg on Fathers' Day.

Especially someone with ears so big that he could hear you type that (on the off chance such a person exists).

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Wed Nov 23, 2016 12:59 am

I am fairly certain a person with ears that large, with a BGE, would have popped up in this conversation by now.

IGX

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