The couch thread

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Barry Cooper is a long, long, long time kool aid drinker.

And a bit of a poofter.

[Holland Oates]

Barry Cooper and that Castro faggot make me want to go to the gaymes just so I can pick a fight.

[WildGorillaMan]

This new fucknuckle has been training for what, six months, and now he's the Mini-Couch?

I hope he sticks around and doesn't flame out. He's like a breath of really stupid fresh air.

Barry Cooper
Affiliate
Profile:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Louisville KY
Posts: 2,140

With the above resume, he is beyond novice, more like a level 14, shit, he should be credited with co-creating the situp. Co-creating with Cooch that is.

So what you're saying is that he's a clear-level thetan or some shit?

[Fish]

How can you guys read Barry Cooper posts, I usually can't get past the first fucking sentence? When you say, boring day, is that just short of shoot yourself in the head boring? fuuuuuuuck

You just have to look for the humor in it. It's not for everyone.

[Eric B]

I liked this injury too.

Just as I was locking out on deadlift PR, I heard a snap. It didn't hurt, but didn't feel right. Even now, it isn't really a pain as much as it is just a discomfort. I have ok ROM but bicep really wants to tighten up if I don't keep it completely relaxed. It has definitely pulled away from elbow joint some.
Advice on what I should do?

I wonder what that PR deadlift was poundage wise. Probably 300#. But it wasn't a form issue. Blowing a bicep pulling a light ass weight=shit form. Just like tearing the fuck out of your hands with every godamn exercise you do.

Nothing proves you are elite like training until you require surgery.

I wonder what it's like to be like this. Inflated sense of self-importance, feeling invincible in the face of stupid risks. Is it like being on coke all the time?

[Mountebank]

True to @F form, Barry Cooper is in about as good of physical shape as couch himself--funny thing is, Barry has no "rings injury" excuses.

[JohnnyBadAss]

True to @F form, Barry Cooper is in about as good of physical shape as couch himself--funny thing is, Barry has no "rings injury" excuses.

The man, the myth, the legend.

[Dave]

This new fucknuckle has been training for what, six months, and now he's the Mini-Couch?

I hope he sticks around and doesn't flame out. He's like a breath of really stupid fresh air.

Barry Cooper
Affiliate
Profile:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Louisville KY
Posts: 2,140

With the above resume, he is beyond novice, more like a level 14, shit, he should be credited with co-creating the situp. Co-creating with Cooch that is.

I have never met him. thank god

[Fish]

True to @F form, Barry Cooper is in about as good of physical shape as couch himself--funny thing is, Barry has no "rings injury" excuses.

The man, the myth, the legend.

LOL I would have expected this guy to at least resemble someone who is in decent shape. He's got a classic case of an unbalanced forums posts to time spent working out ratio.

[Fish]

Gotta get my morning started right. This guy is loony.

here is NO program--repeat, NO program--which is weighted as heavily as CrossFit towards doing the basic functional movements correctly. Not the NSCA (in my own experience), the ACSM (in my observation), and not Poliquin, in my estimation.

He's a bodybuilder who branched out. That is my personal assessment. No doubt he's strong and big. BFD.

Big fucking deal that he is strong and big? It's obviously the roids that's obviously.

I have no gripes with people doing their own thing. CrossFit is not for everyone.

Yes, he obviously does.

Also, show me where Poliquin is putting thousands and thousands of pictures and videos from around the world on his website, with universally perfect form during demanding metabolic conditioning.

A coaches credibility is now based on how much free shit they can post on the internet. Makes total sense.

We expect minor form breakdowns at peak effort. You see them in the Olympics. You see them at powerlifting meets. You push to the limit, you get minor breaks, quite often.

Comparing @fit to the Olympics? Why does a program that does not claim to prepare you to be elite in a sport be compared to the fucking Olympics? The ego here is absolutely massive.

I've done high rep workouts at least 50 times, likely more, with no problem.

Get out of town. 50 times? This guy is a beast!

Keep in mind that even at only 2 high rep or conditioning workouts a week would lead to a total training time of about 6 months.

[WildGorillaMan]

Jesus H Gorilla Christ, this guy needs his own thread.

[sanchezero]

Barry Cooper wrote:
Also, show me where Poliquin is putting thousands and thousands of pictures and videos from around the world on his website, with universally perfect form during demanding metabolic conditioning.

this guy gets the nobel prize for self delusion.

[Gin Master]

This new fucknuckle has been training for what, six months, and now he's the Mini-Couch?

I hope he sticks around and doesn't flame out. He's like a breath of really stupid fresh air.

Barry Cooper
Affiliate
Profile:
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Louisville KY
Posts: 2,140

With the above resume, he is beyond novice, more like a level 14, shit, he should be credited with co-creating the situp. Co-creating with Cooch that is.

So what you're saying is that he's a clear-level thetan or some shit?

He's on the David Miscavige level of @F. He's a long-time @F apologist and insufferable wannabe intellectual. Barry has broken his own record for independent clauses wedged into one sentence.

The best news is that you don't have to come to Barry. Barry will come to you.

Method of Delivery
Training can be delivered in three ways:

1) In your home, for which I will provide the weights;

2) In an inexpensive public gym in Hike's Point.

3) Downtown at Derby City CrossFit

I come to you, or you come to me.

My preference is to train groups of two, who know each other. You provide one another motivational support, and I can charge less per person per hour.

[Dazed]

He's a fucking trainer?

[CultBuster]

In the 6 years our family has been involved in CrossFit every family vacation has been a CrossFit vacation. Traveling to certs or visiting friends that we have met through CF. This summer we took our first "Non CrossFit" vacation. Never again.

Comment #8 - Posted by: Jeff at November 2, 2009 8:03 AM

This is why your kids fucking hate you. I am so sick of these douch bags fucking up working out for everyone, now they fuck up family vacations. This is how you get daughter's like ANYC!

[WildGorillaMan]

I give you, The Legion Of Skank:

[Mountebank]

Wow. More @F+KB related dipshittery.
EDIT: Adding link - http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/005026.html


The exposed threads are super-awesome for giving bloody hands in record time! No more flailing around on the pullup bars for dozens of reps, when one off-centered hand placement on these babies only takes one swing!!!

BTW, I thought @Fers only did two-handed, squatting swings? These look unfit for their intended purpose anyway...

[Crust Bucket]

WTF?! Are those the new FlintstoneBells®?

[Fish]

Homework break!

All I did was Google World Record Deadlift. I knew damn well he would not have a proper lordotic arch, because THEY NEVER DO. Powerlifters hamstrings are too tight.

Are you going to whine about this guy too? Are you going to whine about guys lifting 350 lb. Atlas Stones, or doing 500 lb. Zerchers?

Comparing Bolton's WR deadlift to @fit? His deadlift alone beats most people's "@fit totals." Interesting too that Mr. Cooper is an authority on powerlifting, claiming that they NEVER have proper lordotic arches.

Give it a break. She knows her body. If you were trying to move stones after the building collapsed, your form would lapse too.

I just love these quotes. How many building collapse on a regular basis?

So it's OK to round your back if you're doing a max effort and you have trained for it? Please point out to me how that differs from the CrossFit position.

Elite powerlifting and @fit are now on the same level of legitimacy.

Coach and Lauren are adults. They made a decision. The woman who did this workout is an adult. She made a decision. If you all want to make different decisions, have at it. Just quit complaining about others decisions. If you dont like them, don't copy them. Show us all a better way. Lead by example.

Murder is a decision. Rape is a decision. Just because someone is an adult doesn't make their decisions good. What a piss poor fucking argument on his part.



I hope Barry keeps posting this frequently. He is a funny guy.

[jscratch]

All I did was Google World Record Deadlift. I knew damn well he would not have a proper lordotic arch, because THEY NEVER DO. Powerlifters hamstrings are too tight.

Are you going to whine about this guy too? Are you going to whine about guys lifting 350 lb. Atlas Stones, or doing 500 lb. Zerchers?

Comparing Bolton's WR deadlift to @fit? His deadlift alone beats most people's "@fit totals." Interesting too that Mr. Cooper is an authority on powerlifting, claiming that they NEVER have proper lordotic arches.

Criticizing Bolton's world record like that is beyond waterheadtardness. Did he ever stop to think that the guy who pulled THE BIGGEST WEIGHT EVER would know a thing or two about deadlifting? Of course not. Bolton should've read Starting Strength and started back at 135 lbs. Maybe now Barry can tell Tiger Woods how to hit a golf ball or show Michael Jordan the correct jump shot form.

[WildGorillaMan]

holy shit WGM, where does one find such fine honeys?

i must visit this affiliate.

http://crossfitforthood.blogspot.com/

I'm sure there's plenty more where that came from.

[jscratch]

I hope Barry keeps posting this frequently. He is a funny guy.

By far the dumbest lackey I've had the misfortune of reading about in this thread.

[Mountebank]

Here's more from that Parker kid from several pages back in this thread, on the same comments page I linked with the concrete "KBs" above:

I will make this post and leave the floor to Greg to respond. Thanks to everyone for chiming in. I appreciate the intelligence and care you all showed. No, I did not train or injure anyone including myself, no I'm not Mark Twight (but thanks!), yes it matters VERY MUCH Greg is unfit (he was the original CF'er therefore his "data" is the most precise and has the longest history-and yes the data after his injury is quite pertinent). At my level 1 cert they told me this was an open forum. That was a lie and they (it was Andy Stumpf who said it, in fact) cannot make that claim. I also feel that as I plopped down $1,000 and have never once posted on here, I have a right to do so. Those who don't like my posts can simply move past them, not insult me or tell me to go away. I raised legit questions and got harassed, blocked, and deleted-not to mention the people who saw my questions and completely ignored them, showing a distinct lack of critical thought. Furthermore CrossFit is NOT empirically driven. As stated, CF defines fitness as super-wellness. It has defined metrics to measure super-wellness and I have never once seen any blood panels or those metrics posted, including those of Greg Glassman's. I will not just take what I want from this website and leave everything else when there is the potential to save someone else the cash required to get certified, not to mention the satisfaction of exposing false claims. Yes I know this is getting old, but if someone (someone who speaks for crossfit.com and someone with enough personal knowledge of and experience with my questions) would have simply answered my questions this wouldn't be necessary. To repeat my questions:
1. Why my post was deleted
2. Why Greg Glassman is unfit (IT MATTERS)
3. The Multi-Level Marketing nature of CrossFit
4. The lack of "super-wellness" aka fitness hard data (i.e. biological markers-cholesterol, etc.) to support Greg's claims, despite constantly harping on empiricism.
So to sum up, no this is not an open forum, no this forum is not open to all opinions and ideas, no CrossFit is not scientific and emperically driven, no crossfit is not a program designed for longevity, and no cf will not express your highest genetic potential. I challenge all of you to unplug from crossfit.com for a week or two, meditate on what I have said, and make your own conclusions. There is, in my opinion, only one conclusion to arrive at after thinking critically on these things. I'll leave that to you though.

I have saved all of my posts, so if anyone wants I can post any of them again. Just ask. I await your response Greg!
Comment #106 - Posted by: Park3r at October 28, 2009 7:21 AM

[Gin Master]

I hope Barry keeps posting this frequently. He is a funny guy.

No, he is not funny. He posts a novella each day, and it doesn't need to be reproduced here. Seriously. The guy will make you dumber if you read him. I can handle Bony Pudding's muddling explanations. I can handle half-naked shemales. But I can't handle regular Barry Cooper quotes. He'll drain your mind like Couch drains a bottle of Thunderbird.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Barry is really a @F bottom feeder. A fat, apologist, bottom feeder.