The couch thread

[Anon]

Just found this faggotry on Jon Gilson's cockinmymouthagainfaster.com.

http://www.againfaster.com/articles/evolution.html

Fuzzy Math?

Blah
Blah
Blah
The guy with the 5-minute mile is deadlifting 500 pounds.
Blah
Josh Wagner fights 485 in Aromas.

[T200]

Just found this faggotry on Jon Gilson's cockinmymouthagainfaster.com.

http://www.againfaster.com/articles/evolution.html

Gayest bunch of ra-ra shit I've read recently.

Fucking fagz man.

[Gin Master]

Just found this faggotry on Jon Gilson's cockinmymouthagainfaster.com.

http://www.againfaster.com/articles/evolution.html

Cliff's Notes: Better athletes + better drugs = better results. But we give the credit to Couch.

[WildGorillaMan]

Just found this faggotry on Jon Gilson's cockinmymouthagainfaster.com.

http://www.againfaster.com/articles/evolution.html

Fuzzy Math?

Blah
Blah
Blah
The guy with the 5-minute mile is deadlifting 500 pounds.
Blah
Josh Wagner fights 485 in Aromas.

For the first time, we’re seeing the strong, the fast, the enduring, occupying the same space. The guy with the 5-minute mile is deadlifting 500 pounds. He’s putting out half a horsepower for ten straight minutes. He’s jumping four feet in the air. He’s running eighty miles. He is world class; his accomplishments are not a compromise.

What fantasy world is this happening in? Because it's sure not happening in the land of @fit.

[Sofa King]

You guys should search up Beth Moscov's posts in the earlier years of XF. Homeschooling, breastfeeding inappropriately aged children, "helping" her daughter transition to adult life...there's some seriously good material there.

She lived with her "significant other" who was also an @fitter; they had their own "affiliate" up in the woods above Santa Cruz, and; she did not believe in shaving her armpits nor deodorant.

Had the experience of meeting her back in 04. I'd like to say she was the only @fitter at the time who was a, um, "naturalist," but there were at least 4 wimmen at the Burgener thing I went to who had hair under the arms. Ironically, their snatches were probably baby smooth.

[ab g-d]

Just found this faggotry on Jon Gilson's cockinmymouthagainfaster.com.

http://www.againfaster.com/articles/evolution.html

This is just unreal. I used to run a 5:15 mile after a 3 hour tennis practice in highschool. This is now "elite"!? Does this fucknut know the WR has been below 4:00 since long moustaches and the Bee Gees were in? If you run 26 of them in a row, that's world class. We had multiple guys DL 500 at the TSC, after doing max pullups. Any reasonbly strong guy, even me at 45, can DL 400+ without too much training.

Look, a 5min mile and a 500lb DL is a nice piece of work, really. Guy's very fit and strong. But again, they just lie to the sheep who can't concieve of their pathetic husbands running around the block and then taking out the trash, let alone actually doing something hard.

This guy should run the mile at a state highschool track meet and do a real PL contest - that shit would be funny.

[Holland Oates]

Just found this faggotry on Jon Gilson's cockinmymouthagainfaster.com.

http://www.againfaster.com/articles/evolution.html

This is just unreal. I used to run a 5:15 mile after a 3 hour tennis practice in highschool. This is now "elite"!? Does this fucknut know the WR has been below 4:00 since long moustaches and the Bee Gees were in? If you run 26 of them in a row, that's world class. We had multiple guys DL 500 at the TSC, after doing max pullups. Any reasonbly strong guy, even me at 45, can DL 400+ without too much training.

Look, a 5min mile and a 500lb DL is a nice piece of work, really. Guy's very fit and strong. But again, they just lie to the sheep who can't concieve of their pathetic husbands running around the block and then taking out the trash, let alone actually doing something hard.

This guy should run the mile at a state highschool track meet and do a real PL contest - that shit would be funny.

Abby bringing the hate.

The thing I love is that they trot out this bullshit when much like any other training group only the very select few can reach the highest level.

And the 500 pound deadlifters and 5 minute milers in @fit aren't getting there with the fucking main page WOD.

[T-L]

I don't know shit about Sparta, but judging from dude's avatar, I'd say it's safe to assume he was personally offended by the attack on the movie 300.

Well, that and the fact that he's a faggot.

And yet, I still manage to get more ass than a toilet seat at Nascar, have fucked Heinrich Himmler's great-grandniece, and can outlift you at everything. Does that keep you up at night?

The mere fact that you talk about ass instead of pussy, solidifies the fact that you are more queer than a 3 dollar bill.

He doth protest too much....

Just sayin.

[LiftHeavyShit]

This guy should run the mile at a state highschool track meet and do a real PL contest - that shit would be funny.

Ain't that the fucking truth. My son's high school football team has more than a few guys on the squad pulling over 500 pounds. Don't get me wrong, they have some good players, but even the best will be lucky to get looked at by any major D1 teams. If 500 pounds is world class, I'm in the universe class. I left the world over 10 years ago.

And the 500 pound deadlifters and 5 minute milers in @fit aren't getting there with the fucking main page WOD.

Again, the top CrossFucks were developed before CF. And once they come to CF, they don't even follow CF. 500 lbs and a 5 minute mile is respectable for an exerciser, but what the fuck does that even mean? Show me something in a REAL sport before you start talking about world class. It's just another case of "we can't succeed in a real sport so let's invent our own."

Crossfit - If at first you don't succeed, redefine success

[BTU]

Crossfit - If at first you don't succeed, redefine success

This

[POD]

The comment you posted was humorous but inaccurate. Couch couldn't survive for three days in an Embassy Suites without his valets.

Or his hip flask.

There may come a day when our definition of fitness is not a compromise, when we no longer sacrifice mastery in one domain for competency in many, instead choosing mastery in all.

The worst part of this statement is not the bombastic arrogance of it all, but that it implies that CrossFitters can already be considered physically competent. In large, that's more certainly not the case.

Exhibit A.

[Grandpa's Spells]

Look, a 5min mile and a 500lb DL is a nice piece of work, really. Guy's very fit and strong. But again, they just lie to the sheep who can't concieve of their pathetic husbands running around the block and then taking out the trash, let alone actually doing something hard.

I actually disagree. If you can:

Run a 5:00 mile, AND
DL 500#, AND,
Run an 80 mile ultramarathon, AND
Jump 48" vertical

that is a pretty sick combination of attributes (note: not "almost" do all of those things. Add some seconds, and subtract inches and pounds and it gets a lot more achievable). I wouldn't be surprised if no one had ever done all 4 in a given month. Of course, CrossFit will never, ever create that combination of attributes, so the whole thing is moot, but somebody who could do all those things would be in serious, serious physical condition.

[TerryB]

Just found this faggotry on Jon Gilson's cockinmymouthagainfaster.com.

http://www.againfaster.com/articles/evolution.html

Like most of cultfit's rantings, this wreaks of being written by a fresh-faced freshman who has just discovered Proust or Shakespeare or Pascal and suddenly thinks he's a noble explorer crossing mysterious and unknown lands, on the cusp of a grand discovery, doing something no one has done before!

Um, no.

[Fish]

...and sweet release:

Hot damn.


This place seems to be going to shit though lately, all this talk of gay sex and actual faggotry (not just the stupid @fit kind).

[T200]

Look, a 5min mile and a 500lb DL is a nice piece of work, really. Guy's very fit and strong. But again, they just lie to the sheep who can't concieve of their pathetic husbands running around the block and then taking out the trash, let alone actually doing something hard.

I actually disagree. If you can:

Run a 5:00 mile, AND
DL 500#, AND,
Run an 80 mile ultramarathon, AND
Jump 48" vertical

that is a pretty sick combination of attributes (note: not "almost" do all of those things. Add some seconds, and subtract inches and pounds and it gets a lot more achievable). I wouldn't be surprised if no one had ever done all 4 in a given month. Of course, CrossFit will never, ever create that combination of attributes, so the whole thing is moot, but somebody who could do all those things would be in serious, serious physical condition.

People with 48" verticals have better shit to do.

[LiftHeavyShit]

Jumping on to a 48 inch box isn't a 48 inch vertical. Not even close.

[T200]

Jumping on to a 48 inch box isn't a 48 inch vertical. Not even close.

That too obviously but Spells specified a 48" vertical.

[Kraj]

For someone who has no real obligations and spends most of her day training and fucking, AllisonNYC sure is fat. Seriously, you would think someone who trains all day while productive people are at work would be toned and ripped. This bitch is downright pudgy. How many calories ARE in a gallon of cum? ChaosInSpain, care to inform us?

[LiftHeavyShit]

Jumping on to a 48 inch box isn't a 48 inch vertical. Not even close.

That too obviously but Spells specified a 48" vertical.

No doubt, I was commenting towards the topic in general. A 48 inch box jump isn't all that. CF dipshits probably equate it to vertical, but that just shows they really don't know shit.

[T200]

ANYC, you read this I know: sneak into B-Boi's workout supplements and look for the stanazolol. Make an account PM me the dose and I will tell you how many to take to get rid of that baby fat look.

[Yes I Have Balls]

Like most of cultfit's rantings, this wreaks of being written by a fresh-faced freshman who has just discovered Proust or Shakespeare or Pascal and suddenly thinks he's a noble explorer crossing mysterious and unknown lands, on the cusp of a grand discovery, doing something no one has done before!

Um, no.

[Turdacious]

[Grandpa's Spells]

Jumping on to a 48 inch box isn't a 48 inch vertical. Not even close.

That too obviously but Spells specified a 48" vertical.

No doubt, I was commenting towards the topic in general. A 48 inch box jump isn't all that. CF dipshits probably equate it to vertical, but that just shows they really don't know shit.

Right, I interpreted this:

He’s jumping four feet in the air.

To mean vertical jump, since that's the only standardized fitness test of jumping in an upwards direction, unless he means high jump (and CF'ers don't do sports). At 48", 99% of the NBA is your bitch in that particular event. Perhaps I should have known better when a CF'er actually claimed to do something most pro athletes can't do.

If he means a 48" box jump, that's a completely different story and LOL at that clown. I know a LOT of guys who could accomplish those four feats in fairly short order, if they weren't busy being real athletes.

[Yes I Have Balls]

Just found this faggotry on Jon Gilson's cockinmymouthagainfaster.com.

http://www.againfaster.com/articles/evolution.html

Like most of cultfit's rantings, this wreaks of being written by a fresh-faced freshman who has just discovered Proust or Shakespeare or Pascal and suddenly thinks he's a noble explorer crossing mysterious and unknown lands, on the cusp of a grand discovery, doing something no one has done before!

Um, no.

To wit this from comments on cumguzzlergilson's article:

It is very exciting, still, to think about how our standards of fitness will be blown away by the next crop of CrossFitters. I remember when a 3 minute Fran was world class, 50 pullups was insane, and deadlifting over 400 meant you were strong.

WTF? Are we talking about 9th grade boys or grown men? And when was Fran ANYTHING considered world class?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boLl8rGhJvE[/youtube]

[theoverman]

I think last year at the gaymes I read something like 15 guys DLed over 500. And some of em were PLers and strongmen (rob orlando, stanley something or other). Like I said before, I can go find 15 guys in my gym with a 500 lb deadlift.

When you're an adult male bragging about a 500 pound deadlift and a 5 minute mile something is fucking wrong with you. Congratulations for working out.

They keep pussyfooting around some ideal combination of aerobic endurance, muscular endurance, and flat out strength, but they never make any official measurable PFT because they know ever DB and RB in the NFL, every triathlete in America, NCAA athletes, a few golfers, NBA/NHL/MLS/MLB and a shitload of Joe blows would best every one of their so called cellar dweller world of warcraft athletes.

/rage