The couch thread

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Thud
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Thud »

Credit where credit is due.

Couch drunk himself into a stupor, dicked around on the rings and maimed himself. Lesser men would have given up in the face of such stunning defeat, but not teh couch.

After a short recovery period on morphine, he donned his old workout uniform, headed back to the gym, chalked up his hands and reached right back up for life's everlasting challenge, the liter the bottle, and worked it harder than ever before. He hasn't looked back since.

Here's to you, couch, for showing us all how to stay in the zone. :drinkers:
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Jag Panzer
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Jag Panzer »

What I like most about Couch's drunken ramblings is that you see a stack of books titled "Legal Malpractice" on his close-up shots.

That's either karma or a camera man with a sense of humor.


w00tz
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Re: The couch thread

Post by w00tz »

A query: why is his name couch, instead of cooch?

"So you're saying is... the fear of getting injured by doing these movements with slight imperfections is way overblown to its reality..."
"Yes, yes, yes, it's not a mathematical reality."

Wtf a mathematical reality?

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odin
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Re: The couch thread

Post by odin »

that video is brilliant! I love the other chap trying to desperately tune in to what coach is saying and then translating it for the camera. Reminds me of friday night phone calls to my parents. Except they're genuinely nice people.
Don't try too hard, don't not try too hard

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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

Budding has turned his Glassman apologetics into a six figure a year income.


Mountebank
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Mountebank »



Brock Mandlebar
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Brock Mandlebar »

Botototo wrote:Wowww.

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... review.mov

Hammered at 11 in the morning. I want this lifestyle.
Wow...I feel bad for the both of them.
Wow, I've never kissed a dude before.

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Gary John
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Gary John »

That was just a joy to watch.

No need to edit or fuck with it in any way. This should be a youtube classic.
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friedquads
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Re: The couch thread

Post by friedquads »

http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?p=739525

The wiki page has gotten some attention. =D>
Jay wrote:BTW, warriors kill shit. The only things you kill are exercise science and the board short display at Target.
I choose to kill people with kindness. Oh, I should also mention "kindness" is the name of my samurai sword.


TerryB
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Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

friedquads wrote:http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?p=739525

The wiki page has gotten some attention. =D>
"CrossFit says it is building a technology of human performance through careful definition of terms, constant experimentation and precise measurement by using a force, distance and time approach, rather than a molecular one. What does that even mean?"
=D> =D> =D>
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GoDogGo!
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Re: The couch thread

Post by GoDogGo! »

Botototo wrote:Wowww.

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... review.mov

Hammered at 11 in the morning. I want this lifestyle.
Huge LOL. He mumbles and slurs worse than Ozzy.
The flesh is weak, and the smell of pussy is strong like a muthafucka.

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lasalle
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Re: The couch thread

Post by lasalle »

It's getting harder to differentiate them...

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friedquads
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Re: The couch thread

Post by friedquads »

lasalle wrote:It's getting harder to differentiate them...

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Not too hard.

Keyword: Joke.
Insert into blank.

Tells a _________.
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Is a _________.
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Jay wrote:BTW, warriors kill shit. The only things you kill are exercise science and the board short display at Target.
I choose to kill people with kindness. Oh, I should also mention "kindness" is the name of my samurai sword.

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Grandpa's Spells
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Grandpa's Spells »

GoDogGo! wrote:
Botototo wrote:Wowww.

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... review.mov

Hammered at 11 in the morning. I want this lifestyle.
Huge LOL. He mumbles and slurs worse than Ozzy.
I think there's some kind of double agent working at CFHQ. It's hard to imagine they would post that thinking it doesn't make Couch look shit-hammered at work.
One of the downsides of the Internet is that it allows like-minded people to form communities, and sometimes those communities are stupid.

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T200
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Re: The couch thread

Post by T200 »

Awesome video. I rarely watch these @Fit vids but that one was hilarious.
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kreator
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Re: The couch thread

Post by kreator »

The video reminded me of the part in 300 where the Spartans consult the oracle. The oracle spits out a bunch of meaningless garbage and the elders create a prophecy out of it. For money, of course.


Does anyone know if Glassman has a degree in anything? I would be shocked if it were in anything scientific. I'm not sure the guy actually understands what science is.
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CFB
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Re: The couch thread

Post by CFB »

kreator wrote: Does anyone know if Glassman has a degree in anything? I would be shocked if it were in anything scientific. I'm not sure the guy actually understands what science is.
I inquired about this a while ago with some @fit douches I know, they told me he has a degree in math, at least that's what he told them at their L1.


Botototo
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Botototo »

The story he tells is that he dropped out of school and is rather proud of it.


Brock Mandlebar
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Brock Mandlebar »

Botototo wrote:The story he tells is that he dropped out of school and is rather proud of it.
His philosophies were to badass and extreme to be cramped up by the limitations found in traditional academia. In order to find his genius, you must do away with all notions of logic, science, empiricism and the like - on the other side, you will be born anew, you will see the world for the very first time.
Wow, I've never kissed a dude before.

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Gin Master
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Gin Master »

Good lord. Couch is a high ball away from needing to be subtitled.

You boys have done nice work on the wiki page.
=D>

We're reaching an interesting time. This snowball has gathered so much speed that we don't need to prod it too much. The fact that this video made the light of day--much less a .com feature--is very telling. Couch's "good days" are becoming increasingly sporadic.


T-L

Re: The couch thread

Post by T-L »

On diet, CrossFit advocates eating large quantities of fast food, beer and eating meat and vegetables, nuts and seeds, some fruit, little starch and sugar at levels that support exercise but and lots of body fat."
This.

=D> =D> =D>


T-L

Re: The couch thread

Post by T-L »

It will be interesting to see how the wiki proceeds after it gets unlocked. If the editors are not completely neutral, the page should be deleted. Again. If you look at Wikipedia for any of the fitness crazes (i.e. Jazzercize, etc), you will see a very brief, non-soliticitious description of the program and its founder(s). 2-3 paragraphs. My guess is the fanatics will not be able to stay away and the page will fall into the edit war again.

Wrt Lauren, I am surprised she just doesn't leave and take her 1/2+. She could easily leave and live quite comfortably from the ongoing revenue stream plus whatever he hasn't drank away of their profits.

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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

It's rumored that their gig is pretty open.

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powerlifter54
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Re: The couch thread

Post by powerlifter54 »

The wikipedia angle is genius.
"Start slowly, then ease off". Tortuga Golden Striders Running Club, Pensacola 1984.

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Turdacious
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Turdacious »

"Liberalism is arbitrarily selective in its choice of whose dignity to champion." Adrian Vermeule

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