The couch thread

[theoverman]

Watching these couch videos about "threshold phenomena" and "physiological parameters" makes me realize what a savant Jim Wendler is.

[stosh]

OT, but you said Wendler and he posted this pic a week or so ago and it made me think of it. I think it's a funny.

[theoverman]

He should have to go to leavenworth until he can pass height/weight. He also looks to be carrying a desert cobbler of some sort.

[CultBuster]

PS - I'm speculating HQ won't fuck with Hillier as he's got the bucks to essentially trump any @fit attorney on staff.

CEO of ADS a big time Defense Contractor.

Couch called him a crook already

I've never seen a successful businessman behave the way Luke Hillier has. He's reminiscent of Hollywood's stereotyped portrayal of rich businessmen. His actions are despicable, unethical, and criminal. Everyone in the LEO/MIL community needs to understand that when you buy gear from ADS, you're doing business with crooks.

Our ability to rescue Brendan and Allison and the wonderful CrossFit Obsession members from their evil backers is a direct application of our one-trainer-one-box rule. We have now on several occasions been able to rescue an affiliate from a bad situation with a financial backer turned crooked. (CrossFit SoCal was another recent rescue.)

We saw the potential for a bad backer to attempt a hostile takeover way back and set the policy in place to protect affiliates. Ours is an alliance, an affiliation of trainers, not crooked businessmen.

HQ has nothing but the success of the affiliates in our hearts, in our game plan.

Comment #20 - Posted by: Coach at March 4, 2010 2:03 AM

I think it is easier to talk about passion over profit when you don't ass rape every consumer.
$1000 for a 2 day event that you don't even attend to teach all CF basics
$1000 for 2 days to be a level 2 and you will fail
$600 to prep for level 2 so you pass
$500 to retake level 2
$2000 for affliate fee which gives you a name and a web link
$500 if you want to attend another level 1 to see the newbies, help out and catch up
This from a man who is not involved in any of this at any level and dosen't even try to get in shape. I hop Hiller fucks him up.

[Holeyfraggaroley]

Tiny is carrying his weapon so he needs the extra calories with the cobbler. Apparently people would get upset if he did some OHS for the camera. Must not be an @fitter.

[friedquads]

Someone must have posted only for their comment to be deleted since VaGilliam made a comment that doesn't seem to be addressed to anyone that posted:

THETRUTH hey.... if your truly are the what you say you are then why do you not have any of your facts straight? First off.... The equipment was taken back to the rightful owners at two in the afternoon. The fact that you are stating it happened in the middle of the night is a testament to your ignorance in this matter.

Also...... For any member who has paid for private training in advance one of two things is going to happen. We will either continue are training with them at our new location or we will be more than happy to repay them for any losses. We would never think of any other method to get around this. If you think we are capable of that then you have no clue who we are as people and its just another testament to your flat out ignorance.

Someone like you disassociating yourself from crossfit is definitely a positive thing in our favor. Enjoy your boot camp class at fitness obsession.

B

Comment #25 - Posted by: Brendan at March 4, 2010 6:11 AM

Edit: Hey, people over at PMenu have been paying closer attention...

And now for my favorite trick, "THE AMAZING VANISHING POST!"

...Cuz when they control the information ohhh they can bend it all they want...

Of the 15 people who are actually from our gym that have posted comments it's really a testament to HQ's integrity that the only one not removed was a member who came in for the first time in 3 months last week and agrees with you so he can get B & Al in his box. 6 rds of burpees & mixed grip pull-ups; what else can you do when all your equipment was ganked 4 days ago?
All memberships and pre-paid private training sessions have been canceled/refunded (for approx 450 members) at a significant financial loss to the real owners (if you define "owner" as the people who pay for things and not the name on a piece of paper). Unless they paid for their privates to B & Al directly- best of luck recouping that.
Comment #22 - Posted by: John- CFO the gym with, not the name on a piece of paper at March 4, 2010 4:03 AM

Despite whatever quarrels that occured between HQ and the Owners, everyone single CF Obsession member was stabbed in the back by HQ. There was no "rescue" or heroic action taken by the HQ parties involved. They took the equipment in the middle of the night without any regard to the members of the gym. There are still many that are at a loss of up to $1500 each for private training that was paid directly to the trainers which has yet to be returned. I will never ever again be associated with Corruptfit.
Comment #23 - Posted by: THETRUTH at March 4, 2010 4:47 AM

CorrupFit is correct. We back Luke Hillier 100%. I, along with my counterparts want no afilliation or association with HQ or Brendan Gilliam and Allison Bishop and hope that they are duly charged with theft.

Thank you Luke Hillier. We support you and look forward to our new gym. In the midst of all this slander, remember you have many supporting you and we are glad that our year and a bit spell with HQ, Gilliam and fat Bishop is over.
Comment #24 - Posted by: Ryan at March 4, 2010 4:57 AM

[WildGorillaMan]

It doesn't take a degree in Couchology to know that there is way more story behind @FHQ's "Official Story."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kremlinology

[Shaun B. O'Murnecan]

BTW, congrats on the wikiwar. The way the page looks now (relatively accurate), I doubt it will pass wiki's standard for importance or notoriety.

[Grandpa's Spells]

FQ, I think B-Boi would have spelled his own first name correctly. Probably not from him.

This is so awesome:

Simply the fact that they claim to be the "owners" of CrossFit Obsession is proof of a lie. Brendan Gilliam is the CrossFit Obsession applicant and owner of record with CFHQ. He wrote the essay and he signed the License Agreement with us; he is the L1 certified trainer. We affiliate one person only with a specific CrossFit name. Luke Hillier appears in no documentation whatsoever with CrossFit, Inc.

I love how HQ is apparently the final arbiter of who "owns" a "business" LOfuckingL.

[WildGorillaMan]

Someone must have posted only for their comment to be deleted since VaGilliam made a comment that doesn't seem to be addressed to anyone that posted:

THETRUTH hey.... if your truly are the what you say you are then why do you not have any of your facts straight? First off.... The equipment was taken back to the rightful owners at two in the afternoon. The fact that you are stating it happened in the middle of the night is a testament to your ignorance in this matter.

Also...... For any member who has paid for private training in advance one of two things is going to happen. We will either continue are training with them at our new location or we will be more than happy to repay them for any losses. We would never think of any other method to get around this. If you think we are capable of that then you have no clue who we are as people and its just another testament to your flat out ignorance.

Someone like you disassociating yourself from crossfit is definitely a positive thing in our favor. Enjoy your boot camp class at fitness obsession.

B

Comment #25 - Posted by: Brendan at March 4, 2010 6:11 AM

Edit: Hey, people over at PMenu have been paying closer attention...

And now for my favorite trick, "THE AMAZING VANISHING POST!"

...Cuz when they control the information ohhh they can bend it all they want...

Of the 15 people who are actually from our gym that have posted comments it's really a testament to HQ's integrity that the only one not removed was a member who came in for the first time in 3 months last week and agrees with you so he can get B & Al in his box. 6 rds of burpees & mixed grip pull-ups; what else can you do when all your equipment was ganked 4 days ago?
All memberships and pre-paid private training sessions have been canceled/refunded (for approx 450 members) at a significant financial loss to the real owners (if you define "owner" as the people who pay for things and not the name on a piece of paper). Unless they paid for their privates to B & Al directly- best of luck recouping that.
Comment #22 - Posted by: John- CFO the gym with, not the name on a piece of paper at March 4, 2010 4:03 AM

Despite whatever quarrels that occured between HQ and the Owners, everyone single CF Obsession member was stabbed in the back by HQ. There was no "rescue" or heroic action taken by the HQ parties involved. They took the equipment in the middle of the night without any regard to the members of the gym. There are still many that are at a loss of up to $1500 each for private training that was paid directly to the trainers which has yet to be returned. I will never ever again be associated with Corruptfit.
Comment #23 - Posted by: THETRUTH at March 4, 2010 4:47 AM

CorrupFit is correct. We back Luke Hillier 100%. I, along with my counterparts want no afilliation or association with HQ or Brendan Gilliam and Allison Bishop and hope that they are duly charged with theft.

Thank you Luke Hillier. We support you and look forward to our new gym. In the midst of all this slander, remember you have many supporting you and we are glad that our year and a bit spell with HQ, Gilliam and fat Bishop is over.
Comment #24 - Posted by: Ryan at March 4, 2010 4:57 AM

Dude, if you're going to go back and edit new quotes into an old post, people are going to miss this stuff when they skim.

[WildGorillaMan]

What in the fuck is going on over there?

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/GG_A ... review.mov



If you think he's saying anything of meaning, get to deprogramming as quickly as possible. Drunk, rambling nonsense. And they're fucking showcasing it.

More being said here IMO.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbVKWCpNFhY[/youtube]

More like:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1KSaUEu_T4[/youtube]

[friedquads]

Dude, if you're going to go back and edit new quotes into an old post, people are going to miss this stuff when they skim.

You caught me in mid-edit. I thought I could get it changed before anyone else posted after.

[WildGorillaMan]

Regardless, no harm, no foul.

How many pages have we burned through in the last day? Three? Four?

Here's a little Androgen Friday sneek peek just for you:

[friedquads]

Sweet Andro. Reminds me that I need to find more pics on that Yvette Maree from @Fit Brisbane.

[lasalle]

Setting the bar ever higher, mr. gorilla.

[chi]

http://www.AllisonNYC.blogspot.com

Where do I start?

My loyalty has been and will always be to CrossFit, Greg and everyone I've met and trained with along the way - my CrossFit family. I am forever grateful for everything I've gained from being part of such a strong, positive community.

Brendan and I started up CrossFit Obsession (before it was CFO) with good intentions. Our goal was to expose new people to CrossFit and get them moving beautifully. We can proudly say we've accomplished that goal.

We've loved every minute of training with our people. It's been a blessing to have touched so many lives. We've made great friends and watched them hit tons of PRs along the way. This includes all the members of ADS. A very satisfying, proud feeling. That is the one good thing that came out of CFO.

Our e-mails are overflowing and our phones are blowing up with people asking us to keep them in the loop because "they'll go anywhere we go".

Brendan and I will be opening a gym for all of the people who want to continue doing CrossFit with us. All the people we've been training with privately.. We never had any intention of leaving anyone in the dust. We'll be stoked to keep up what we started!

The first people at Obsession were there because Luke gave them a free membership to the gym. Not because they knew anything about CrossFit or wanted to go out and try it. That was awesome (although a strategic business move from a big business man to get a bunch of trained people in the door for free words of mouth for him when he decided to open his doors to the public).

So to those people I suppose I can understand why they would say we're selfish for taking away their free membership. And that they would say Luke is such a generous man. I suppose in that respect he was generous to his minions.

That's the reason B got in business with him in the beginning.. he seemed like a good enough guy.

But what those people don't see or care to see is that it was really Greg Glassman that has been generous with his equipment, LENDING it out to them for over a year and a half and with his program by giving it to all of us for free everyday.

It was Luke and his partners Rob, Nick and Robin who intended to exploit those gifts and Brendan and Me (also products of Greg's teaching).

Those "stand up guys" said things like "we want 2,000 members and we hope none of them show up." I had to sit through meetings hearing things like that with my hand over my mouth to stop the puke from coming out! Their ideas which they pushed on us over and over were so contrary to our own. But time and time again, B and I got outvoted.. until we ended up with what we had. Something that, besides the innocent members, we didn't believe in.

I could no longer put my head on my pillow at night without feeling like I was betraying my community. I wasn't willing to do that, no matter the cost.
Those former members will NOT be left in the dust. Brendan and I will have a place for all of them and we'd be thrilled to train with all of them again. There are also several gyms in the area.. but none of them are free.

We Need them to keep it up. We LOVE the people we've been training and would be heartbroken to see all their hard work go down the tubes. We still care just as much as we have for the last year and a half.

Sadly, it's those people who you see up above, who post anonymously, who are just ticked off that they've lost their free membership.
They won't bite the hand that feeds.

There are ADS people who are reaching out to us, too. They've said they don't care about politics because all they know is that B and I have loved them and taught them and they wouldn't find better trainers anywhere.

Andy, I know it might seem like there isn't anything to celebrate. It royally stinks that CFO had to come to an end. It's as much of a loss to B and me as it is for you all. We hate it. But it could have been avoided if they just listened to us..
What we'll end up with is the same program void of all of the politics. A place for all of you to continue with CF and us. We'd love more than anything to have you. You can be my demo-boy anytime ;) And THAT is something to celebrate.

It's heartbreaking for Brendan and I because we invested a year and a half teaching them CF. Putting our hearts, energy and ALL of our time into them. Waking up at 5am and getting home at 9 at night. But still, they just understood CFO... not CF. When the stuff hit the fan, they didn't show any faith in us. They assumed we "stole" the equipment and left everyone hanging. Thanks, guys. Good luke...

Moral of the story - Beware of getting into business with people who don't share your vision or principles.

And stand up for what you believe in and the people you love.

Thank you, Greg and everyone in CrossFit who contributed to setting us free from those big business men. We'll go on to do what we do best in the true spirit of CrossFit.

[powerlifter54]

so awesome:

He wrote the essay and he signed the License Agreement with us; he is the L1 certified trainer.

Essay?

Possible Titles:

"Douchebag; A viable business strategy"
"Have you seen my girlfriend?"
"Big TaTas and a Trust Fund; The One Two Punch of a Transitional Period in Life"
"Calf Training"
"Yo...MTV Raps!"

[Gary John]

Now help me here, wasn't there a lot of whisker poking going around with Glasshole and this young lady?

Those might be nasty rumors and some sloppy seconds. Love how HQ decides ownership over the great state of Virginia or Vagnia it seems.

And the bitch has already blocked my calls.

[dakat]

"Big TaTas and a Trust Fund; The One Two Punch of a Transitional Period in Life"

[stosh]

[Yes I Have Balls]

Shocked the couch can even SEE the keyboard in his perpetual state of drunkeness

Here are the real facts. Read real close. Think real hard.

I have in my possession an email where Luke Hillier and his staff acknowledge that the gear belongs to CF, that Brendan & Allison acted as our agents, and how filing a police report for burglary will/could leverage their efforts at getting the gear back. They also layout a rationale for claiming ownership of the gear by inventing a lease with us that never existed.

Crooks, pure and simple. There's not a jury in the world that would see this as anything other than a conspiracy to criminal action against people they know to be innocent and a plan to claim ownership of equipment that they know belonged to HQ.

Luke Hillier's willingness to steal our equipment is spelled out in the email. This fact gives ample and perfect justification for not giving notice before removing it.

Sir, do you understand my words?
Comment #35 - Posted by: Coach at March 4, 2010 9:15 AM

[Yes I Have Balls]

Gotta get this on here before it gets deleted:

I’m not sure if this will get posted and maybe I’m missing a big part of the story but here it goes.

You claim in Crossfit honor or integrity are important, however I’ve also noticed quite a few times where you stated that Crossfit loaned, for what appears to be over a year, a lot of equipment to Brendan and his Crossfit Obsession affiliate. I am a trainer at an affiliate, which I will not mention, not in the VA beach area. But if I was in the VA Beach area I would be pissed!

Can we say unfair competitive advantage? Why would HQ do this? You knowingly gave one affiliate owner free gear over all others in his area. Most of us are required to take out loans to outfit our box. What is honorable about that?
Comment #41 - Posted by: Christopher at March 4, 2010 10:14 AM

[Gin Master]

There's not a jury in the world...

People who start sentences with this phrase haven't spent much time in a courtroom. Arraignments don't count, Couch.

Sir, do you understand my words?

Ummm......
http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/GG_A ... review.wmv

Shocked the couch can even SEE the keyboard in his perpetual state of drunkeness

Maybe this will help:

[Grandpa's Spells]

The sort of conflict that Tittiliscious claims she had with her business partners are the type that happen all the time. When it happens, they get resolved either in keeping with the agreements they signed, or by coming to some kind of settlement, using the courts or not.

But packing up all the gear at "your" business and hiding it, having your customers show up to find the place cleaned out, and then telling them through Facebook to contact you via cell phone seems pretty fucking sketchy.

Coach is not presenting facts, he's presenting a story of somebody saying a bunch of shit that doesn't make any sense, claiming he has evidence of the crazy shit said, and isn't producing it.

[Yes I Have Balls]

Hey C_oach have another drink! Mr. "im only concerned about fitness and not profit" They why are you an over weight drunk?
Comment #40 - Posted by: sad at March 4, 2010 10:31 AM

Why are many of these posts being deleted? They are neither mean spirited, impolite nor non sensical?
Comment #41 - Posted by: Chris M. at March 4, 2010 10:33 AM

If it quacks like a franchise.....
Comment #40 - Posted by: V at March 4, 2010 10:37 AM