The couch thread

[GoDogGo!]

Oh fuck yes.

A little candy coat on your muscly?

[Yes I Have Balls]

Oh boy, another installment of "at the barstool...er, chalkboard".
WTF...these things get more and more incoherent every time.
http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... ingPRE.mov

Did he really say "It's more like a birthday party than a physics class"?

Yes, and training someone should be fun and joyous or some shit like that. There are no answers to Pudding's questions. Just pay for your L1 Cert and then go throw a party for your new trainees.

Boney.."All right, I'm gonna role play here, I'm a level 1 trainer...gotta buddy...we've worked out in the past...he's a good friend...he squats like crap...what do I do...how do I balance those contra...(confused look)

Cosh: (as usual interrupts Boney) "I-I-I-I don't have good answers there...and....I also....I-I-don't think that the training art and skill lies in the uh.....pause.....necessarily better answers to....the problems that challenge all (slurring and bracing self on chalkboard) 'coshes' I think, I think there what is needed is not better technical knowledge but appreciation and attitude and a sense of fun and enjoyment and celebration and little spirit of art or errr...and exertion...uhhh achievement that you know - you want a birthday party than a physics class.


Well there you have it. Translated: I am too fucked up to think about this...wouldn't you rather party than talk about this shit all the time? Fuck I need a drink. When's Alison coming?

Why in the fuck would they keep posting this crap? Are they trying to discredit teh couch? A coup from within?

[lasalle]

To be accurate, he said:

"Should be more like birthday party than a physics class." Not a birthday party. Just birthday party. For some reason I find that even funnier.

I can only imagine this is the first stage of an elaborate coup plot.

[KingSchmaltzBagelHour]

To be accurate, he said:

"Should be more like birthday party than a physics class." Not a birthday party. Just birthday party. For some reason I find that even funnier.

I can only imagine this is the first stage of an elaborate coup plot.

Just listened to that "more like birthday party" line a few times.
Good catch. Most people would just assume he said it right...Fucking classic.
They should stencil that shit on affiliate walls with all of his other gay ass sayings.

[T-L]

He goes on to say that coaches who do not have fun but spend time teaching technique are the ones with empty gyms. This is because no one who trains want to get into a religous discussion about the positioning of the bar while doing a squat. Technique does not matter to the success of your gym. Further, people who spend a great deal of time thinking about the movements, are not improving their lifts, increasing their max loads or having fun. They are not having the best results. My (his flock) affiliates need more clients he goes on to say. One must develop their own nuance (not nuances). In Vancouver, say, you may need to send your clients to yoga for 3 months to develop better technique. WTF? He talks in circles. I just cannot believe people are so stupid to not see how drunk he is in this video.

We have now come full circle. The first of these videos stresses the importance of form, and this one throws it all out the window to get more people into the gym and have fun.

[Takafumi]

To be accurate, he said:

"Should be more like birthday party than a physics class." Not a birthday party. Just birthday party. For some reason I find that even funnier.
...

Thanks for catching that - one needs to be precise when interpreting Cosh. I need to brush up on my drunklish.

[rjudo]

To be accurate, he said:

"Should be more like birthday party than a physics class." Not a birthday party. Just birthday party. For some reason I find that even funnier.
...

Thanks for catching that - one needs to be precise when interpreting Cosh. I need to brush up on my drunklish.

A specific dialect of drunklish. The people of the Hurt by Couch tribe speak the hoochramble dialect of the drunklish.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

www.fitsaginaw.com

It's spreading, only this cat did the smart thing and is running "Crossfit-style" boot camps.

[Holland Oates]

I've got some dude named Jeremy Barnett on my Facebook friends list who is an @fit gym but he's putting out a lot of vids of his guys doing the big 3 powerlifts.

He's hung in better than the last @fitter on my list. He defriended me when I suggested he drink his own urine to aid in his detox.

LOL

[Shafpocalypse Now]

The lesbian crossfitter I know defriended me when I pointed out that Kyle Manard does XF workouts, but Couch doesn't, and that there was a dichotomy in posting "If he can do it, anyone can!"

[Holland Oates]

LOL They are some sensitive fuckers.

[KingSchmaltzBagelHour]

LOL They are some sensitive fuckers.

No shit, it's so god damned serious.
They treat exercising like physics class, when in reality it should be more like birthday party.

[Anon]

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=56350

lol

"There are a small group of us (about maybe 5-10) who follow crossfit properly, and don't plan on stopping because we are told to"

Do what you are fucking told to son.

[powerlifter54]

To be accurate, he said:

"Should be more like birthday party than a physics class." Not a birthday party. Just birthday party. For some reason I find that even funnier.
...

Yes. In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again

Couch the Gardener?

[WildGorillaMan]

Yes. In the garden, growth has it seasons. First comes spring and summer, but then we have fall and winter. And then we get spring and summer again

Couch the Gardener?

More Couch Alhazrad, the Mad Arab:

Yog-Sothoth is the key to the gate, whereby the spheres meet. Man rules now where They ruled once; They shall soon rule where man rules now. After summer is winter, and after winter summer. They wait patient and potent, for here shall They reign again

[CultBuster]

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=56349

This could go somewhere fun...

Re: Moratorium on level 2 certs?

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Katherine Derbyshire
Apparently the (former) Level 1 cert is being completely reworked. Probably a rework of Level 2 is also needed to bring it in line with the successor to Level 1.

Katherine

Has not stopped them from doing as many L1's as they can in the meanwhile.

Moo!

[WildGorillaMan]

http://www.fitsaginaw.com

It's spreading, only this cat did the smart thing and is running "Crossfit-style" boot camps.

So, if I understand you, he's marketing "Crossfit-style" training without being an affiliate?

Fantastic.

[TerryB]

http://www.fitsaginaw.com

It's spreading, only this cat did the smart thing and is running "Crossfit-style" boot camps.

So, if I understand you, he's marketing "Crossfit-style" training without being an affiliate?

Fantastic.

Or he could just call it Crossfit since there's nothing HQ can or will do about it.

[CultBuster]

http://www.uclabruins.com/sports/w-trac ... rid00.html

2007 - Earned All-American honors with an eighth-place finish at the NCAA Championships (13-3.50) ... Was sixth at the West Region Championships (12-11.75) ... Finished fourth at the Pac-10 meet (13-1.50) ... Won the Modesto Relays open vault competition with a lifetime-best 13-7.25 ... Finished second against USC (12-5.50) ... Won the Cal/Nevada title (13-1.50) ... In indoor track, earned All-American honors with a fourth-place finish at Nationals (13-9.25) ... Jumped a lifetime-best 13-10 at the Southwest Host Classic ... Won the Tyson Invite college section (13-2.50) ... Pac-10 All-Academic Honorable Mention ... Athletic Director's Honor Roll.

I saw the winner of the SoCal qualifiers and though "WOW she must have been @fitting forever to get that elite"..alas I was wrong. Who woulda thunk that an all american Heptathlete would do well at exercising?

For time:
- Run 100m from start (on the field) to bumper plates
- Pick up a bumper plate (45#/25#)
- Run up 83 steps (to the top of the stadium) with your bumper plate (45#/25#)
- 70 Squats (holding the plate, drop the plate and start at zero)
- Run down 83 steps, drop your plate
- 35 Push Press (45#/33#)
- Run up 83 steps (no plate)
- 15 Thrusters (135#/95#)
- Run down 83 steps (no plate)
- 35 Burpees
- Run up 83 steps
- 35 Wall Ball (10' - 20/14lbs)
- Run down 83 steps
- 70 Double Unders
- Run 100m to the finish line

Again, someone who was already good at stuff, doing stuff she is good at. An all american pole vaulter and track star is a good runner and can do squats and has good cardio? NO it must be the 1 legged oh squats and virtual shoveling

[Takafumi]

Given the resume, she might have won this event as a high schooler.

[Jag Panzer]

http://www.fitsaginaw.com

It's spreading, only this cat did the smart thing and is running "Crossfit-style" boot camps.

So, if I understand you, he's marketing "Crossfit-style" training without being an affiliate?

Fantastic.

The gym where I work is doing the exact same thing. I lol'd when they told me.

[baffled]

http://www.uclabruins.com/sports/w-trac ... rid00.html

2007 - Earned All-American honors with an eighth-place finish at the NCAA Championships (13-3.50) ... Was sixth at the West Region Championships (12-11.75) ... Finished fourth at the Pac-10 meet (13-1.50) ... Won the Modesto Relays open vault competition with a lifetime-best 13-7.25 ... Finished second against USC (12-5.50) ... Won the Cal/Nevada title (13-1.50) ... In indoor track, earned All-American honors with a fourth-place finish at Nationals (13-9.25) ... Jumped a lifetime-best 13-10 at the Southwest Host Classic ... Won the Tyson Invite college section (13-2.50) ... Pac-10 All-Academic Honorable Mention ... Athletic Director's Honor Roll.

I saw the winner of the SoCal qualifiers and though "WOW she must have been @fitting forever to get that elite"..alas I was wrong. Who woulda thunk that an all american Heptathlete would do well at exercising?

For time:
- Run 100m from start (on the field) to bumper plates
- Pick up a bumper plate (45#/25#)
- Run up 83 steps (to the top of the stadium) with your bumper plate (45#/25#)
- 70 Squats (holding the plate, drop the plate and start at zero)
- Run down 83 steps, drop your plate
- 35 Push Press (45#/33#)
- Run up 83 steps (no plate)
- 15 Thrusters (135#/95#)
- Run down 83 steps (no plate)
- 35 Burpees
- Run up 83 steps
- 35 Wall Ball (10' - 20/14lbs)
- Run down 83 steps
- 70 Double Unders
- Run 100m to the finish line

Again, someone who was already good at stuff, doing stuff she is good at. An all american pole vaulter and track star is a good runner and can do squats and has good cardio? NO it must be the 1 legged oh squats and virtual shoveling

Don't forget handstand pushups on the rings. That'll get you e-leet in no time.

[Hank Scorpio]

Crossfit Gaymes is like the old middle school Field Day, replete with ribbons for trying hard, because we're all winners. They just replaced the three-legged race with a 95# bar.

[Crust Bucket]

http://www.fitsaginaw.com

It's spreading, only this cat did the smart thing and is running "Crossfit-style" boot camps.

So, if I understand you, he's marketing "Crossfit-style" training without being an affiliate?

Fantastic.

He'll also clean your carpets after you vomit all over them too.

[KingSchmaltzBagelHour]

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/CFJ_ ... railer.mov
"Alpha Male" t-shirt...what a douche.