The couch thread

[Holland Oates]

I hate to feed the troll(attention whore). But our problem is with the ignorant kool aid swillers and the HQ/CFe dbags. The local @fitters are good folks but they are either always hurt or weak as piss and always fail to see the underlying cause that is their training plan. Tell me how that is a good thing. They are stronger than they were when they started but after a year they plateau and never progress past this point unless they specialize. And like WGM stated @fitters aren't the only trainees that suffer from mediocrity in the gym but they are the only faggots claiming to be elite.

The local meatheads are stronger, faster, bigger, and more athletic than every @fitter in the gym. I haven't lifted seriously in nearly 2 years and I make the local @fit trainer look like a weak ass everytime I roll into the gym and you can check my log to see how week I am.

Now in defense of the local trainer I'm the one who gave him the virus and he is a damn good guy and is trying to add some strength stuff into his training.

TheCoug is nothing but an @fit apologist and was supposed to leave for good. But like HQs claim on the 700# deadlift she can't deliver on her claims.

[WildGorillaMan]

Coug has already earned HQ's ire once (and I'm totally jealous that you got a C&D and I haven't. Smooches!) Once the Eye of Couch turns on her and she gets a classic Couch Ass-Ripping shell be just as bitter and disillusioned as Quack.

[Holland Oates]

Coug has already earned HQ's ire once (and I'm totally jealous that you got a C&D and I haven't. Smooches!) Once the Eye of Couch turns on her and she gets a classic Couch Ass-Ripping shell be just as bitter and disillusioned as Quack.

So what did theCunt do to earn HQ's ire? I guess I'm out of the loop.

[TerryB]

I'm so confused. You can "do Crossfit" but completely ignore mainsite & completely ignore their programming? So...you just do whatever you want (at random, of course) and as long as you're timing it, it's "Crossfit"? Or, is it "Crossfit" as long as you include one of their "fundamental" exercises in a timed circuit?

[Dan Martin]

what is a modal domain?

If it was up your ass, you'd know.

[Dan Martin]

Coug has already earned HQ's ire once (and I'm totally jealous that you got a C&D and I haven't. Smooches!) Once the Eye of Couch turns on her and she gets a classic Couch Ass-Ripping shell be just as bitter and disillusioned as Quack.

All I want to know is if Coug is pre-op.

[Mountebank]

Coug has already earned HQ's ire once (and I'm totally jealous that you got a C&D and I haven't. Smooches!) Once the Eye of Couch turns on her and she gets a classic Couch Ass-Ripping shell be just as bitter and disillusioned as Quack.

Aw, tanks mang. All of my hate is towards @FHQ and the eating/exercise disorders they have spawned.

Heck, I've been in touch with two @F affiliate owners this week, both guys I'd consider friends (and one was the guy I co-opened an affiliate with, way back when the # of affiliates was in early double digits).

If @FHQ even pulled their head out of their own ass long enough to listen to the whispers in the wind, they would find a lot of hate coming from the people within their own "community". With people just buying into the brand/image and not the philosophy, it's all downhill from here.

[Holland Oates]

I got an update on the C&D.

I still think theCoug is an attention whore/@fit apologist but she's alright with me.

Still a cunt though.

[baffled]

I'm so confused. You can "do Crossfit" but completely ignore mainsite & completely ignore their programming? So...you just do whatever you want (at random, of course) and as long as you're timing it, it's "Crossfit"? Or, is it "Crossfit" as long as you include one of their "fundamental" exercises in a timed circuit?

Get in the loop dipshit. Everything is "Crossfit".

I kid.

[Yes, I'm drunk]

I thought that the @sshats at HQ used some super-secret methodology to create the mainpage WAD, and that they were testing protocols so elementally potent and effective that to unleash them on the unprepared @ssfitting public would be dangerous and negligent. If @ssman answers the question "what is the @sswipe program" and he responds "teh WAD", surley this is the end of the matter. We're in a strange reality now where everything is @ssfit, but only the WAD is @ssfit. I don't understand.

[lesser_rebelangel]

Heck, I've been in touch with two @F affiliate owners this week, both guys I'd consider friends (and one was the guy I co-opened an affiliate with, way back when the # of affiliates was in early double digits).

If @FHQ even pulled their head out of their own ass long enough to listen to the whispers in the wind, they would find a lot of hate coming from the people within their own "community". With people just buying into the brand/image and not the philosophy, it's all downhill from here.

Yep, dude who works out at one of the affiliates where I train is a "rival" and buddy of Rob Orlando, and he recently made the comment--and I'm paraphrasing--"Glassman, who listens to that fuck...?" The impression that I get from him is the true top competitors don't subscribe to jackshit that Couch espouses (not that that's any news to anyone here); those guys are just riding the Xfit train until they can establish themselves, at which point they'll jump ship.

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[Cave Canem]

Looks like Santa Monica SWAT has swapped out its obstacle course for Murph:1 mile run, 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 squats, 1 mile run. Why? Because this half hour rhabdo fest is a better test of the kind of fitness needed for a SWAT team, and has less risk of injury as an added bonus.

On the upside, there is brief glimpse of skinny-fat Asstro trying to run. Suspiciously, they don't show him finishing the workout though.

1. "Okay, men, we're going to force entry into that crack house, ready, push up position.............."

2. I know I've asked before, but how the hell was Castro ever a SEAL ? Are there any pictures or other proof ? Maybe I've seen too many movies or have a slanted image about what a Team operator should look like. Shit, I was only a grunt. But this guy doesn't look capable of swimming across the kiddie pool or running anywhere let alone moving some weights across any domain, broad or narrow. He looks more like a REMF who cleans the gear and does the inventory when the big boys get back from a mission.

[Mountebank]

Looks like Santa Monica SWAT has swapped out its obstacle course for Murph:1 mile run, 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 squats, 1 mile run. Why? Because this half hour rhabdo fest is a better test of the kind of fitness needed for a SWAT team, and has less risk of injury as an added bonus.

On the upside, there is brief glimpse of skinny-fat Asstro trying to run. Suspiciously, they don't show him finishing the workout though.

1. "Okay, men, we're going to force entry into that crack house, ready, push up position.............."

2. I know I've asked before, but how the hell was Castro ever a SEAL ? Are there any pictures or other proof ? Maybe I've seen too many movies or have a slanted image about what a Team operator should look like. Shit, I was only a grunt. But this guy doesn't look capable of swimming across the kiddie pool or running anywhere let alone moving some weights across any domain, broad or narrow. He looks more like a REMF who cleans the gear and does the inventory when the big boys get back from a mission.

POP QUIZ! Second pull or max deadlift?!?!

[Jay]

@fit as a brand is one thing.

Spending thousands on "proprietary" certs is another.

Between the L1, kids, oly, etc. it's out of control. To them a "real" cert means nothing. You need to be CF certified. Hell when I was applying to be an affiliate they had a new thing out that said in order to train kids in your own @fit box you NEED to get the CFKids cert. I mean really? I mean I guess being certified by legitimate, recognized fitness entities isn't enough, you need to go through a cert so you can learn how to tell a kid to "look like a gorilla" to do a squat.

Let's not discuss the thousands people spend per year for affiliation, when it used to be 400 bucks (and maybe cheaper). Let's not forget how @fit doesn't protect their own affiliates because they will allow one to open across the street from an existing one, thereby cutting the balls off of both of them for the $2000 fee.

The fact that everyone at mainsite responsible for programming and teaching is about as physically pathetic as a flute player in the high school band.

Regardless, we all know that, its beating a dead horse.

The problem isn't the people who workout, they just want to get in shape. The problem is the people who are the apologists, the people perpetuating the fallacy that @fit is superior, the smugness of HQ and the piss poor programming.

Coug is right, I met so many @fitters over the years and a large portion of them think that HQ is a crew of tools. The only ones who don't are the newbies and the ones that get a paycheck from HQ. The rest of them use HQ for what they are worth and talk shit behind their "backs".

Its amazing how many longtime affiliate owners really can't stand HQ anymore, and I mean can't stand in a big way.

[WildGorillaMan]

Its amazing how many longtime affiliate owners really can't stand HQ anymore, and I mean can't stand in a big way.

It's not amazing at all: it's only to be expected.

[WildGorillaMan]

I got an update on the C&D.

What's this all about, should be amusing.

It's her story, she can tell it if she wants.

[Jay]

I got an update on the C&D.

What's this all about, should be amusing.

It's her story, she can tell it if she wants.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsYJyVEUaC4[/youtube]

[Dan Martin]

I got an update on the C&D.

What's this all about, should be amusing.

It's her story, she can tell it if she wants.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsYJyVEUaC4[/youtube]

My bad.

[TheCoug]

I did a Level 1 Cert and went on the MainSite saying that I thought it was ridiculous that someone like me could do a Level 1 Cert and open a Box. I still stand by that. It's scary. However, while not a CrossFit 'apologist" I LOVE CrossFit. That's just a fact.

I did Martial Arts in two countries and three states in the 90s. So... when I joined my Dojo, I was supposed to find the big kahunas up in "AIKIJITUSEJUDOKARATEHO DO" HQ and see what absolute bullshit they may be spouting, and focus on THAT rather than my immediate trainers and the people I sparred with at my dojo?

You guys can spend your lives hating Glassman and the HQ but I guess my point is that there are tens of thousands of us down here who REALLY don't give a shit. And not to belabor the same point, the minute any crossfitter wants to get serious about competing, I guarantee you they start serious strength programs and look at all of the same information you do. (OK, I can't guarantee that but it sounds great).

Finally. A story if you are with me for this long (being a depraved attention whore, no post is short.. gotta keep you LOOKING AT ME!)

I went to my first martial arts tournament in the 90s in NYC. The dudes who ran it were about 300 lbs and every one of them was dressed like a pimp. EVERY ONE. Here I am learning respect and all the philosophies of Martial Arts, and my tournament is run by a gaggle of pimps with 45 karat rings on each finger. Not only that, but the trophies for the women were about 1/4 the size of the men's trophies.

Well, being an attention whore in training at the time, I went to the pimp circle, and said " I would like to know why the women's trophies are so much smaller". They looked at me like I just came out of the kitchen and should go RIGHT BACK IN, and get naked and blow them while I'm at it.. and said-

SHOW SOME RESPECT. YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO QUESTION YOUR MASTERS.

This is a true story. Should I have quit martial arts because the assholes that top were Neanderthals? Maybe spend the rest of my days spouting foulmouthed ignorance on websites about them? Or get over it and enjoy what I could and say FUCK the guys at the top?

Hm...

[powerlifter54]

Once again...

There is nothing wrong with cals, Oly lifting, pullups, running, gymnastic rings, etc. But randomly lumping things together into workouts that drive rhabdo, pukie, and surgery is stupid. To mix to methaphors this is a case of the cart getting ahead of the horse's ass who built the cart and the emporer only being able to wear clothes from the Big and Tall Store and really only half the store.

The Coug is a great example of somebody who found the camarderie of training partners mixed with some socializing and results finally intoxicating. Training partners are great but ones who don't tell you to stop when you need to hear it or push you when your weenie light is blinking are just drinking buddies who are here for the party. The social aspect of @fit can't be denied but it dips many toes into the cultlike pool. Results matter but those results mainly come from the newbie phenomena, which every fitness huckster takes advantage of and when it is gone then you need consistency and smarter programming.

i cannot wait for the Conference in Dallas. i suspect there are many folks out there, if stories are to be believed, that are there for the party at @fit but don't like the plateau or the joint pain. Lucklily the answer is not hard to fathom, just hard to actually make yourself carry out.

See ya in Dallas @fitters who are reading this.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxdmw4tJJ1Y[/youtube]

[Jay]

I did a Level 1 Cert and went on the MainSite saying that I thought it was ridiculous that someone like me could do a Level 1 Cert and open a Box. I still stand by that. It's scary. However, while not a CrossFit 'apologist" I LOVE CrossFit. That's just a fact.

I did Martial Arts in two countries and three states in the 90s. So... when I joined my Dojo, I was supposed to find the big kahunas up in "AIKIJITUSEJUDOKARATEHO DO" HQ and see what absolute bullshit they may be spouting, and focus on THAT rather than my immediate trainers and the people I sparred with at my dojo?

You guys can spend your lives hating Glassman and the HQ but I guess my point is that there are tens of thousands of us down here who REALLY don't give a shit. And not to belabor the same point, the minute any crossfitter wants to get serious about competing, I guarantee you they start serious strength programs and look at all of the same information you do. (OK, I can't guarantee that but it sounds great).

Finally. A story if you are with me for this long (being a depraved attention whore, no post is short.. gotta keep you LOOKING AT ME!)

I went to my first martial arts tournament in the 90s in NYC. The dudes who ran it were about 300 lbs and every one of them was dressed like a pimp. EVERY ONE. Here I am learning respect and all the philosophies of Martial Arts, and my tournament is run by a gaggle of pimps with 45 karat rings on each finger. Not only that, but the trophies for the women were about 1/4 the size of the men's trophies.

Well, being an attention whore in training at the time, I went to the pimp circle, and said " I would like to know why the women's trophies are so much smaller". They looked at me like I just came out of the kitchen and should go RIGHT BACK IN, and get naked and blow them while I'm at it.. and said-

SHOW SOME RESPECT. YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO QUESTION YOUR MASTERS.

This is a true story. Should I have quit martial arts because the assholes that top were Neanderthals? Maybe spend the rest of my days spouting foulmouthed ignorance on websites about them? Or get over it and enjoy what I could and say FUCK the guys at the top?

Hm...

no, but when people are constantly giving mainsite and HQ money for certs, affiliation, etc that is the problem.

the problem isn't the people working out, its the hypocrites who hate HQ and mainsite yet still renew their affiliation, still host certs, still HELP with certs (do you have any idea how many HQ trainers think HQ is a joke yet still work with them?).

I understand what you are saying, but this is a multimillion dollar business that says one thing and does another. They claim to be all about the affiliates and the people and then do the exact opposite by silencing critics, taking away affiliation, etc from those that disagree.

You disagree too loudly, you get the boot. They are like every other company out there yet they claim to be so different. That is the problem and more and more people are getting tired of it.

[TheCoug]

PL54 and Ash, you two are my favorites here. you know that.

It's true. I found xfit to be intoxicating. Fact. However, nobody pushed me to hurt my knee. I tore that ACL doing martial arts in 1991 and it was my stupidity that allowed me to do xfit 20+ years later without thinking twice. Once I had my surgery, EVERY trainer who saw me enter the box slowed me down and wanted me to take it easy.

As for the rest of it, I have no arguments with Hypocrisy. I just think it's the way of the business world. Maybe I'm just OLD (and being a pre-op my hormones are wayyyy off) and JADED and have so gotten over it, I can't spend any energy getting my singlet in a bunch about it anymore. I volunteered my $1000 to do a Level 1 Cert. Nobody held a gun to my head. I was not happy. I did KStarr's cert and LOVED it.... I did Mike Burgener's Cert and LOVED it.....

If any of you had developed a fitness model that reached me on the Tennis Courts of tiny little Flagstaff Arizona that intoxicated me and made me feel this good.. I'd be doing it. I think the heart of the problem is that Glassman did... others didn't. If it were any other, he'd be raked through the coals too because no business like this grows by being liked and accepted by every fucking asshole with an opinion.

I'm not talking about PL and Ash. Just sayin.