The couch thread

[Anon]

What the lol chic could accomplish with no teeth....what were we talking about?

[RPC]

I suspect Everett is kissin' a bit of ass still...maybe he's still got his eye on becoming one of the XF OL cert providers for the biggggg buxxxxx.

Yes he is involved in the certs now. As is Robb Wolf. Involved in the Regular Certs, Oly Certs, and Wolfs own "Nutrition" Cert. God Damn, I can't believe they're getting away with a fucking nutrition cert.

Wolf and Everett are all over the daily comments kissing ass and keeping people in line. Totally fucking hilarious.

[Sofa King]

I've met Robb, spoken with him electronically, and posted on his blog. He's genuinely a great guy and probably forgotten more about nutrition than I'll ever know. He's a big fan of De Vany, but to me, seems better informed and more rational. He's a big fan of the GWF (Cooch) but seems better informed, more rational, and actually practices what he preaches.

As we've said a thousand times, the road to riches runs through cooch. He and Everett both ran a foul during the DJ/Twight blow-up. Robb had the good sense to never say a bad thing about cooch during that time (at least not on the interwebs); whereas Everett shot his mouth off calling him a kook and worse (I bet you'll never find those threads on the PM forum now. . .he's probably mastered revisionist history by now).

His reappearance as an apologist is a little disturbing, but I can tell you from conversations with him, he has always looked up to cooch. (as weird as that may sound) As for Everett?
Pure asskissery all the way to the bank, baybee.

[RPC]

Awww there buying the Cooch a bicycle for a present at the games....and hitting up and pressuring affiliates to pony up the money for it.

An inside source I have sent this:

CrossFit Community,

First of all, thank you from Brian and me for all of the donations to date. Many of you have participated generously and commentated so positively on the idea of giving back to Coach and Lauren for all they have done.

To date we have raised nearly $1,800.00 dollars, as you may know from our previous email this places us short of our $3,900.00 goal. If anyone is from the camp of procrastination; as I am, and still wish to donate you should do so very soon. The bikes are currently in paint at one of the premier powder coaters in the states. Everyone in the build process has commented on how bad ass these bikes are; truly each is one of a kind!

Again we are only asking for voluntary donations; no matter where the funding comes from, the end product and presentation will be from the community as a whole, there are no obligations implied.

From Brian's and my original email:

If you would like to participate please feel free to make a donation directly (or wire it) at a Washington Mutual Branch to account #395-678220-1, or feel free to PayPal the donation to brian@genetic-potential.com and mention what it is for. You also have the option of sending a check if you like, but we would prefer you make the donation directly with a paper trail. Any and all left over money's will be given to Coach and Lauren as a Charitable Donation to something of their choice.

Please if replying to this email; make sure you REPLY ALL Cc’s so that we can keep everyone involved. We look forward to hearing from you.

DO NOT FORGET THIS IS A SECRET! PLEASE DO NOT TALK ABOUT THIS ON THE MESSAGE BOARDS OR SO THAT LAUREN AND GREG MAY HEAR SOMETHING.

Thanks Again,

John McLaughlin
BGI Jupiter Florida
and
Brian MacKenzie
CrossFit Newport Beach
CrossFit Balboa

[Gary John]

It was supposed to be a secret.

You gone and ruined it.

[Paolo Di Avitabile]

Don't you have mobility grants in the US?

[The Real Rant]

I think we should all shit in a box and send it to couch.

[RPC]

I think we should all shit in a box and send it to couch.

Well he is always talking about what goes on in the black box or whatever...

So sounds good to me.

[Paolo Di Avitabile]

Couch's new "bike"

[Ripe Turd]

Thanx for ruining the secret. It was a bad idea anyway, because Couch doesn't have the time to exercise (he is testing secret workouts) and has a gangsta limp.

[Grandpa's Spells]

Thanx for ruining the secret. It was a bad idea anyway, because Couch doesn't have the time to exercise (he is testing secret workouts) and has a gangsta limp.

Josh?

[Anon]

I net less than a million $ a year in affiliate fees, certification fees, and salary...would someone please buy me a bike.

[Pinky]

Is it safe to ride a bike after downing a bottle of Mad Dog?

[Crust Bucket]

Is it safe to ride a bike after downing a bottle of Mad Dog?

Sure why not?! Maybe he can get the other leg to match.

[Sofa King]

Bump.

I heard the suggested donation for the coochcycle was "300" bucks.

[Anon]

Banned, thanks for keeping the hate alive.

At that rate, I only need 1-3 donors, I don't need nothing fancy.

[The Real Rant]

Will today be the day? A 700 pull? So far the deads all seem to be a little short and by a little I mean 300 to 400 pounds short. Today will be one of those days when everyone will feel obligated to post their bodyweights. Crossfitters like that sort of thing but they never post bodyweight on days when the do their chorus line workouts.

Thursday 080619
"CrossFit Total"

Back squat, 1 rep
Shoulder Press, 1 rep
Deadlift, 1 rep

Post total to comments

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Yeah, you never see

Jimmah CrossfitGodMan

FRAN" 2:45 !@!!@!!
-scaled down to 25# thruster with women's olympic lifting bar
-used blue jumpstretch band for kipping chin assists

Bodyweight 121, height 6'2"

It's like when Matt Gagliardi all of a sudden started posting times that were logarithmically better than his times last week, and we was wearing a weighted vest, too.

[The Real Rant]

Matt Gagliardi all of a sudden started posting times that were logarithmically better than his times last week, and we was wearing a weighted vest, too.

Nice old school @fit reference. What ever happened to that cunt?

[Shafpocalypse Now]

He just faded away. Posts in comments sometimes.

[Gary John]

When nobody is watching, it is amazing what you can do. My 1,200# ATG back squat in flip flops was something else. I did a drawing of it, cuz I didn't have a camera.

[Sofa King]

Back when I was considered a "respected member" of that community, I was chastised for calling out bullshit times. In retrospect, it was probably a bunch of IGx'ers and P&B'ers trolling just to get the @fit panties firmly up the crack.

I now appreciate those efforts.

[Gary John]

Banned,

P&B trolls mostly asked the obvious and gushed at the answers.
I had one that just never made any sense. Kind of like the real me.

[The Venerable Bogatir X]

When nobody is watching, it is amazing what you can do. My 1,200# ATG back squat in flip flops was something else. I did a drawing of it, cuz I didn't have a camera.

[Sofa King]

Banned,

P&B trolls mostly asked the obvious and gushed at the answers.
I had one that just never made any sense. Kind of like the real me.

You're probably right, Rev.
Upon further review and reflection, when I met @fitters in person (and I've met a few) they never seemed to live up to their on-line, superhuman numbers. In fact, whenever I was amongst @fitters, they were mostly wimmen.