The couch thread

[Sassenach]

Reposting that pic has to be an x-fitter plot.

anyone else disturbed that he's obviously not wearing pants?

[Anon]

Reposting that pic has to be an x-fitter plot.

anyone else disturbed that he's obviously not wearing pants?

Yea and the bottle of lubriderm at the bottom of the shot makes me really uncomfortable.

[Sassenach]

Reposting that pic has to be an x-fitter plot.

anyone else disturbed that he's obviously not wearing pants?

Yea and the bottle of lubriderm at the bottom of the shot makes me really uncomfortable.

"it knows about the lotion"

[Anon]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RQb2m6VJ-eo[/youtube]

[JimZipCode]

WFS WFS WFS

What does that stand for? It's not "safe for work".

[Sofa King]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4fu9FDi0hE[/youtube]

Its this kind of shit that makes wonder if I am CrossFit quality teacher.

OMFG

C'mon, how could you possibly hurt yourself doing that?

Truthfully Dave, I've used your workouts. You're far too over-qualified to be an @fit teacher.

[The Real Rant]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4fu9FDi0hE[/youtube]

Its this kind of shit that makes wonder if I am CrossFit quality teacher.

OMFG

C'mon, how could you possibly hurt yourself doing that?

Truthfully Dave, I've used your workouts. You're far too over-qualified to be an @fit teacher.

Wow! Just when you though it couldn’t get any gayer...it gets gayer. You couldn’t make this shit up if you tried. The thing is we see this and think “dumb asses”. They honestly think this shit makes them cool, a cut above the rest.

[Dagobert]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4fu9FDi0hE[/youtube]

I think I saw the same thing in a DVD by some guy from Murray, UT. Well, at least the overhead walk part. But I think he had a sandbag, sled and a dog trying to trip him when he did it.

[Gary John]

The guy from Murray lifts weights.

[Sofa King]

Its this kind of shit that makes wonder if I am CrossFit quality teacher.

OMFG

C'mon, how could you possibly hurt yourself doing that?

Truthfully Dave, I've used your workouts. You're far too over-qualified to be an @fit teacher.

Wow! Just when you though it couldn’t get any gayer...it gets gayer. You couldn’t make this shit up if you tried. The thing is we see this and think “dumb asses”. They honestly think this shit makes them cool, a cut above the rest.

Wurd.

[LiftHeavyShit]

They honestly think this shit makes them cool, a cut above the rest.

This is what annoys the fuck out of me. If you want to be a dumb ass, go for it. But don't be a dumb ass and actually think that you are some elite mother fucker for throwing around baby weights in the sand. This has to be the dumbest fucking exercise sequence I've ever seen.

[Sofa King]

Random thoughts while running up stairs in a parking structure:

Read how Dara Torres switched from a heavy lifting routine to one that, "stimulates her central nervous system." I swear to Allah, if one @fitter claims Dara is doing @fit, I will never hold her pictures with one hand again.

If somone accused me of being a "closet @fitter," I'm not sure how I would take it. I mean, I don't wait for some "guru" in Prescott, AZ to reach his gin-soaked hand into a hat and pick out a "WOD" and post it to to his adoring minions. I make shit up as I go along trying to hit some strength, but definitely showing a bias toward GPP. I drank the Kool-Aid once, pulled back the curtain and saw the wizard wasn't what I thought he was. Never been back since.
Besides, Dave Wood never liked me or my posts anyway.

Cleaning 135# and throwing it for time has to be one of the stupidest things I've seen in a long time. No one at @FSF ever even considered what that could do to one's back? Look at the vid and look at their backs. This is why there are so many "former @fitters," including me. Stupid shit done quickly does not make for a good workout.

[nafod]

They honestly think this shit makes them cool, a cut above the rest.

This is what annoys the fuck out of me. If you want to be a dumb ass, go for it. But don't be a dumb ass and actually think that you are some elite mother fucker for throwing around baby weights in the sand. This has to be the dumbest fucking exercise sequence I've ever seen.

It'd have been party cool if they'd had to chug a 12 oz beer each lap for 4 laps each or something. You'd have seen some pukey then. Do it with a sandbag instead of a barbell so they don't kill anyone.

[Paolo Di Avitabile]

http://www.beermile.com/faq.beer

[The Real Rant]

Again with the trannys? This is getting disturbing.

[Sofa King]

Again with the trannys? This is getting disturbing.

gynecomastia?

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Some great @F retardation.

First..from the injury forum:

http://www.board.crossfit.com/forumdisp ... 391d7&f=12

Just got back from being up all night in the Santa Monica Hospital with my wife who was diagnosed with Rhabdo from last Saturday's GH Sit-Ups. Not a cool experience and she is out for the next 5-7 weeks with a severe muscle tear. Absolutely kills me to see her in this pain knowing that we both completely under estimated the ability that this exercise has to hurt you if not properly done right. Obviously looking back we should have known better, but there should be more of an open warning about these. After checking this board for others who have experienced the same, it happens all too frequently. Good thing is if I would not have read through some of these post over the past 2 days, I would not have known to make the Dr. check her Ck levels (still don't even know what that really is) by doing blood work.

She had been doing it for 3 weeks (CF). Yet did loads and load of GHD sit ups, which are a pretty brutal exercise. Fucking retarded. Stupid fuckers get what they deserve.

From Tyler "Anal Ring Man" Hass' interview with Couch.

If you come to us with a four-minute mile, six months into it you are going to be 30 seconds slower but a whole hell of a lot fitter. Similarly, if you come to us with a 900-pound squat, in six months it's going to be 750 pounds, but you, too, will be much fitter. A four-minute mile and a 900-pound squat are both clear and compelling evidence of a lack of balance in your program. This doesn't reflect the limitations of our program but the inherent nature of flesh and blood. But here's the fascinating part. We can take you from a 200-pound max deadlift to a 500-750 pound max deadlift in two years while only pulling max singles four or five times a year.

So, you go from fucking WORLD CLASS (900 squat, 4 minute mile) to mediocre. And, of course we have the completely utter bullshit 750# DL statement's origins. Seriously, if @F did this, then I would be on it so fucking fast, because I struggle to 5-10# on my deadlift a year.

[Danny John]

It's one of the issues that really troubles me with this group. Not only do these workouts lead to a serious (I have no idea if life threatening), but the bogus macho posturing that goes along with it. As a guy who works with athletes, rule one is probably "don't kill your people." I have walked away from dozens of excellent exercises and training ideas because they only work for the top twenty percent of my people.

I get so many emails from this group and I always tell them to bring it up on the website that has banned me. Don't ask me about rhabdo or pukie, ask the founder. And, obviously, it is not just answering "scale it back."

[Mickey O'neil]

It seems only a matter of time before @fit kills somebody. Then where will couch be?

[powerlifter54]

@fit will now be referenced by yours truly as "Cultfit". Yep, there are some decent training modalities in cultfit and some nice folks too, bit Jamestown was a tropical paradise and some real nice folks died with the Cool Aid trickling out of their mouth.

i am now seeing it in gyms i train in with the same story, "i like it so much but i just train to train and have no real goals except to be like those folks on the net". Or words to that effect. Nobody with a clue about scaling, exercise order, specificity. Give anybody a new training approach, the more different from what they have been doing the better, and make it regular to boot and they will progress...for a while.

This is a pathetic story about to become tragic.

i have also received numerous chances to join the fold.

i just don't look good with the Borg gear.

[LiftHeavyShit]

And, of course we have the completely utter bullshit 750# DL statement's origins. Seriously, if @F did this, then I would be on it so fucking fast, because I struggle to 5-10# on my deadlift a year.

This is what cracks me up. Has anyone ever pulled 750 from the Cross Shit brigade? Anyone? The puppets on his forum treat his word like the gospel. He is always right. But here he is making statements that are utter bullshit, and no one calls him out on it?

And what about his comments about thousands of elite athletes who have not kept up. Thousands? Plural? There are 32 teams in the NFL. They dress 53 players every Sunday. They don't even have thousands of players in the league. Who are the "thousands" of elite athletes who have failed at Crossfit?

And even if they did, who gives a fuck? Put a 130 pound muscle-up freak on the offensive line. Let's see how his functional strength holds up!

[Crust Bucket]

It seems only a matter of time before @fit kills somebody. Then where will couch be?

In the fetal position after swilling too much cheap Gin and crying like a baby cuz the victims family is gonna rape him in court.

[___________]

No worries.
That fat, gin swillin, interebz master Couch can't live another 5 years. The liver is bound to shut down soon enough.
I wonder if he'll become a martyr to his people?

[LooseNut]

No worries.
That fat, gin swillin, interebz master Couch can't live another 5 years. The liver is bound to shut down soon enough.
I wonder if he'll become a martyr to his people?

Ahh but you have to remember that the neuro endocrine reponse of working your liver through gin metcons causes a Seyles type 2 adaptation. Couch is evolving with a super liver, no H2O required.

[Holland Oates]

General Strength
At the risk of bucking the tide and being heretical is general strength everything it is made out to be? What I see called general strength in so many speed and power programs is often just STUFF. A bunch of exercises thrown together with goofy names does not necessarily mean it is productive training. I do believe that properly designed general strength work is important at certain times in a training cycle and in a career. For the young developing athlete it is key element in development, for the older more mature athlete it is a reset button. In other words at different stages of an athlete’s career it should have different emphasis. General strength takes many forms; it is not just body weight exercises. Properly designed general strength work takes into account order of exercises, sequence and timing in order to be optimally effective. Use it, but use it wisely – don’t drink the kool aid. Be discriminating and see where it fits in the whole program. - Vern Gambetta

http://www.functionalpathtraining.typepad.com/

Even Vern seems to firing shots across the bow of Cultfit.