The couch thread

[Sofa King]

I feel so out of the loop. Why didn’t someone tell that @fit’s most vacuous couple had split up?

I examine these people like bugs under a magnifying glass. He's got a mark from the elastic waist band of his shorts in the place where a normal person would wear his shorts. It looks like he or she pulled his shorts down for the picture so we can see his abdominus @fittius muscle.

We're not Narcissists! We're not, we're not we're not!

"Are you sure you can see my totally ripped abs in this picture? Should I lower the waist a little more so you can see that I totally shaved my pubes? Or should I just push this skanky ho out the way so me and my super rad skateboard can get all the pixels."

"Yeah, fuck her. I'm dumpin her as soon as I get back to the mainland anyhoo. Ah'ait. I gots the smug look. Get ready for my ripped abs and totally shaved pubic area. I am so fucking gangsta, boyeeee."

[gardel]

Looks like a manboy. I gave up my skateboard when I learned to drive.

[___________]

*****

[JamesonBushmill]

I feel so out of the loop. Why didn’t someone tell that @fit’s most vacuous couple had split up?

"Yeah, fuck her. I'm dumpin her as soon as I get back to the mainland anyhoo. Ah'ait. I gots the smug look. Get ready for my ripped abs and totally shaved pubic area. I am so fucking gangsta, boyeeee."

Bass, how low can you go
death row what a Brandon know
once again back is the incredible
butt pirate ho
the incredible B. boi, shari enemy number one
fashion sense said freeze and he got none
can I sell ya some cheap ADVOCARE, son?

limpin gimpy is a prophet yo,
I think you outta listen to
pay a thousand dollars to
buy him more Bombay sapphire blue
follow for now, power to the training sheeple say
make a miracle, cooch,
with your belly spherical and drinking hooch

douche is back all in we're gonna win
check it out here we go again

bring the B-bois

Never badder than bad 'cause the brother is sadder than sad
At the fact he's corrupt like a senator
MILF on a roll, but he treat it like spam in a can
'Cause he had to tap some mentally infirm crossfit fan
Radio Stations I question their crossfitness
They call themselves affiliates, but we'll see if they play this

time for me to exit,
trustifarian titty girl... text it

[nafod]

He's got a mark from the elastic waist band of his shorts in the place where a normal person would wear his shorts. It looks like he or she pulled his shorts down for the picture so we can see his abdominus @fittius muscle.

I think the line is too straight and sharp for that. Most likely it came from leaning over a table for a protracted period while someone went all ass-pirate on him.

C-section scar

[Sofa King]

I feel so out of the loop. Why didn’t someone tell that @fit’s most vacuous couple had split up?

"Yeah, fuck her. I'm dumpin her as soon as I get back to the mainland anyhoo. Ah'ait. I gots the smug look. Get ready for my ripped abs and totally shaved pubic area. I am so fucking gangsta, boyeeee."

Bass, how low can you go
death row what a Brandon know
once again back is the incredible
butt pirate ho
the incredible B. boi, shari enemy number one
fashion sense said freeze and he got none
can I sell ya some cheap ADVOCARE, son?

limpin gimpy is a prophet yo,
I think you outta listen to
pay a thousand dollars to
buy him more Bombay sapphire blue
follow for now, power to the training sheeple say
make a miracle, cooch,
with your belly spherical and drinking hooch

douche is back all in we're gonna win
check it out here we go again

bring the B-bois

Never badder than bad 'cause the brother is sadder than sad
At the fact he's corrupt like a senator
MILF on a roll, but he treat it like spam in a can
'Cause he had to tap some mentally infirm crossfit fan
Radio Stations I question their crossfitness
They call themselves affiliates, but we'll see if they play this

time for me to exit,
trustifarian titty girl... text it

They write memos, well we write memos, too.
That was genius. You get 4 clappy hands

[GoDogGo!]

More clappys just for the pic. Man I laugh my ass off every time I look at it.

What.

A.

Douche.

[The Real Rant]

I would love to stomp a fucking hole in BBOYEEEEEEEEEEE's skull.
What a fucking prick faggot cocksucker douchebag.

Take a number.

[The Real Rant]

What the hell is that on top of couch's head? Is he wearing a rug these days?

[Ripe Turd]

it's a crossfit party! notice the cardboard weights.

[Dano]

I have noticed an increased useage of the hat over the ear thingy. This stems from the infectious "guido" population. Also noted is excess bling-bling and odd looking oversized shirts that either have Japanese symbols(I think because I have seizures if I look directly at these shirts) or the MMA fighter of the week represented.

[TerryB]

I feel so out of the loop. Why didn’t someone tell that @fit’s most vacuous couple had split up?

I examine these people like bugs under a magnifying glass. He's got a mark from the elastic waist band of his shorts in the place where a normal person would wear his shorts. It looks like he or she pulled his shorts down for the picture so we can see his abdominus @fittius muscle.

When did Vanilla Ice take up skateboarding?

[Sofa King]

Re: Cert pictures

1. Looked at both pics; where the hell is ANYC? The ban is fo realz?
2. Sitting next to cooch is Mrs. Cooch who looks to be, ahem, enhanced.
3. I still recognize several affiliates. Looks like the "true believers" are sticking with it until the punch is served. Remember, there was a test run in Jonestown before the real deal went down. Wonder when the @fit dry run will be?
4. Small rodent on cooch's head?

[The Real Rant]

Re: Cert pictures

1. Looked at both pics; where the hell is ANYC? The ban is fo realz?
2. Sitting next to cooch is Mrs. Cooch who looks to be, ahem, enhanced.
3. I still recognize several affiliates. Looks like the "true believers" are sticking with it until the punch is served. Remember, there was a test run in Jonestown before the real deal went down. Wonder when the @fit dry run will be?
4. Small rodent on cooch's head?

ANYC is considered a dirty little slut by the NYC affiliates. I'm still not sure why this would be grounds for banishment.

[Shapecharge]

There's only one man in the "known" universe that is allowed at will to take his shirt off whenever he wants particularly for photo ops and when some serious shit is about to go down and that person is the Golden Lawyer God with the Adamantium Abs known as Bill (he'sa)Fox. Everyone else no matter how huooge or ripped is a douche. As it is written...so it shall be.

You all do realize if you get into trouble no matter how bad...say you were driving drunk and blasted into a bus filled with blind retarded kids killing them all plus you had a kilo of meth on you...all you have to do is hire Bill and he shows up in a tight shirt, tailored Versace jacket, designer jeans and flip-flops, flashes that million dollar smile, gets into a badass warrior pose, points at the judge and says "booyah baby" and your ass is free. "Case dis-fucking-missed." I ain't even bullshitin' about this shit.

[ab g-d]

Were you there that day, I didn't even see you in the court room, or I would have given you a shout out. That was sweet. But the suit and shoes were Brooks Brothers Black Fleece. The worser the defendant, the more "ex-prosecutor" the defense attorney.

[Crust Bucket]

Jeez looking at the cert pix I didn't realize having the Spanky look from the Little Rascal days was back in fashion along with a coon skin cap.

[Blaidd Drwg]

...all you have to do is hire Bill and he shows up in a tight shirt, tailored Versace jacket, designer jeans and flip-flops, flashes that million dollar smile, gets into a badass warrior pose, points at the judge and says "booyah baby" and your ass is free. "Case dis-fucking-missed." I ain't even bullshitin' about this shit.

Is Ab-God, Patrick Bateman? Seperated at birf?

[dead man walking]

that's definitely a merkin on glassman's head.

[GoDogGo!]

LOL at merkin.

In that cert pic, I have to admit I'm likin' that cougary babe in the front row, directly to the right of the word "Chinese" and with "Fat" over part of her head. I want to see more.

[Shapecharge]

Characteristic Megafarter, Bill was the model for which that was based only Bill kills with his smile. Much like that bad guy vampire in the first "Blade" movie who wanted to turn people into vampires just by walking by, Bill causes the female population from 18 to 80 give or take a few years to spontaneously have multiple orgasms when he walks by. Most men just shit themselves out of fear and envy.

[ab g-d]

Characteristic Megafarter, Bill was the model for which that was based only Bill kills with his smile. Much like that bad guy vampire in the first "Blade" movie who wanted to turn people into vampires just by walking by, Bill causes the female population from 18 to 80 give or take a few years to spontaneously have multiple orgasms when he walks by. Most men just shit themselves out of fear and envy.

Either way the smell can get a little funky.

[TerryB]

World's Strongest Man??

[The Real Rant]

World's Strongest Man??

My #1 @fit pet peeve is padding the appearance of lifts with a shit load of bumpers. My #2 peeve is white boy @fitters lifting to rap music. 455 is a lot of weight for an @fitter and this dude is certainly in good shape all around. The trot him out whenever and wherever possible but for every guy like this we have thousands pulling 95 pounds or a PVC pipe. It still doesn’t mean shit. Take any marginal division II running back and give him a month or two to practice these moves and he will trump all @fitters.

[Sofa King]

I have to go with Rant on this one. Josh Everett is one of the lone "strength athletes" in the @fit universe. He's a S&C coach at UC Riverside (D-1 in some sports, but lacks a football team or plays at D-2) and part time Oly lifter. Fact is, he is not representative of the @fit nation. I'll bet 90% of all @fitters can't DL 450, let alone do it along with squat cleaning 225, some HSPU's and muscle ups. No, the guy is good, but he's no @fitter. Just ask him.