The couch thread

Topics without replies are pruned every 365 days. Not moderated.

Moderator: Dux


steelydan
Sarge
Posts: 212
Joined: Sat Dec 01, 2007 7:33 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by steelydan »

fitness is best defined as work capacity across broad time and modal domains
Because squatting 500x1 is the same as squatting 100x5 really fast.


Ripe Turd
Staff Sergeant
Posts: 473
Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:34 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Ripe Turd »

steelydan wrote:
fitness is best defined as work capacity across broad time and modal domains
Because squatting 500x1 is the same as squatting 100x5 really fast.
Please don't contradict the gin drinker, it could make some cult followers mad.
Hanglow Joe wrote: Why do you need a program? Showing up a 1/2 hour a day and doing what you're doing is great. Try it for 4-6 weeks, you're not going to get dick cancer by not following a program.

User avatar

The Real Rant
Anal Sadist
Posts: 5014
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 3:35 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by The Real Rant »

steelydan wrote:
fitness is best defined as work capacity across broad time and modal domains
Because squatting 500x1 is the same as squatting 100x5 really fast.
=D> =D> =D>

User avatar

Trebuchet
Top
Posts: 2355
Joined: Sat Sep 30, 2006 8:24 am
Location: remote

Re: The couch thread

Post by Trebuchet »

we introduce a third axis, age, that turns our two dimensional work capacity area under the curve to a three dimensional solid whose volume defines both health and fitness (making health a logical facet of fitness); that all of this needs to be delivered publicly where methods, results, and criticisms, are transparent and, finally, that iterations of this effort have fed an open source community where experimentation will demonstrate best practices and ultimately advance the art and science of human performance
What a pile of scybalous faeces!
"My resting heart rate is 39 when I don't read posts on the bad forum" - Marty

User avatar

powerlifter54
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 7978
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2005 5:46 pm
Location: TX

Re: The couch thread

Post by powerlifter54 »

steelydan wrote:
fitness is best defined as work capacity across broad time and modal domains
Because squatting 500x1 is the same as squatting 100x5 really fast.
To be more accurate, squatting 500x1 is the not as functional as squatting 100x5 really fast after 4 burpees, snatching a PVC pipe twice, "dancing the opening number from Cats", and getting tested for an STD after a big cert weekend.
"Start slowly, then ease off". Tortuga Golden Striders Running Club, Pensacola 1984.

"But even snake wrestling beats life in the cube, for me at least. In measured doses."-Lex


Ripe Turd
Staff Sergeant
Posts: 473
Joined: Wed Dec 19, 2007 11:34 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Ripe Turd »

Who would have guessed that the biggest marketing genius of the last 5 years would be a fat, gin drinking, asshole? (with a wig)
Hanglow Joe wrote: Why do you need a program? Showing up a 1/2 hour a day and doing what you're doing is great. Try it for 4-6 weeks, you're not going to get dick cancer by not following a program.


Gin Master
Sgt. Major
Posts: 3024
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:41 am

Re: The couch thread

Post by Gin Master »

Shaf wrote:
Our very public and constant claim is that fitness is best defined as work capacity across broad time and modal domains; that meaningful assertions about a program need to address safety, efficacy, and efficiency with measurable, observable, repeatable data; that constantly varied, high intensity, functional movement delivered in a competitive sporting environment has produced unprecedented work capacity across broad time and modal domains (fitness); that by incorporating a lifestyle, including diet, rest, and workout elements that cause common health and fitness metrics to move simultaneously from pathological, past “normal”, to “fit” values we introduce a third axis, age, that turns our two dimensional work capacity area under the curve to a three dimensional solid whose volume defines both health and fitness (making health a logical facet of fitness); that all of this needs to be delivered publicly where methods, results, and criticisms, are transparent and, finally, that iterations of this effort have fed an open source community where experimentation will demonstrate best practices and ultimately advance the art and science of human performance
Let's examine this and pull out meaningless buzzwords and catchphrases
Meaningless? You fool, Couch has just formulated the Grand Unified Theory.

User avatar

The Real Rant
Anal Sadist
Posts: 5014
Joined: Wed Feb 14, 2007 3:35 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by The Real Rant »

The psycho is still lamenting over B-boy

http://sharikeener.blogspot.com/

User avatar

nafod
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 13101
Joined: Sat Apr 22, 2006 5:01 pm
Location: Looking in your window

Re: The couch thread

Post by nafod »

steelydan wrote:
fitness is best defined as work capacity across broad time and modal domains
Because squatting 500x1 is the same as squatting 100x5 really fast.
Actually it would be equal to 445 X 5.

This is cool...
http://www.plunk.org/~hatch/OneRepMaxApplet/
Don’t believe everything you think.

User avatar

LiftHeavyShit
Sarge
Posts: 232
Joined: Fri Mar 21, 2008 6:58 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by LiftHeavyShit »

Banned wrote: This doesn't add up. Several decades? What was he the towel boy? He's obviously boiled as an owl again.
Of course it doesn't add up. He is, and always will be, full of shit.

He claims to have started coaching gymnastics in 1974. That would mean he worked at Gold's Gym all the way through the 1990's. Is that what he is saying? Where does his training of pro athletes and top secret warriors fit into the mix? Did they all meet at Gold's Gym?

He starts the Crossfit site in 2001 after 25 years of pretend training. He starts throwing out ridiculous comments in 2003 about CrossFucks pulling 750. He makes this statement after being a towel boy at Gold's. After going online, he realizes that people are calling his bluffs, so he brings in Rip and others and completely changes what supposedly took 25 years to construct?

Everett called him on that a few months ago.

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=5075&p=290822

CrossFuck keeps changing to allow for more certificates and to cover up the lies that GlassFuck was spewing for the last 7 years.
Image

User avatar

Shafpocalypse Now
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 21385
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 11:26 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

Well, it's a good thing I presevered that because it's not on that link anymore.

User avatar

Fuzzy Dunlop
Top
Posts: 2090
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2008 6:38 pm
Location: Hub

Re: The couch thread

Post by Fuzzy Dunlop »

Finally a response to all the 700lb deadlift quote criticisms. see fuckWOD video from Monday...
Ed Zachary wrote:Best meat rub ever is Jergen's.


Dagobert
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Feb 27, 2008 7:36 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Dagobert »

Shaf wrote:Well, it's a good thing I presevered that because it's not on that link anymore.
It's still there. It just went missing because of some directory renaming:

http://www.performancemenu.com/articles ... hortyID=39


Guiseppie
Sarge
Posts: 138
Joined: Thu Feb 08, 2007 2:50 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Guiseppie »

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthrea ... 880&page=8
Phillip,

We never made fun of Rhabdo. Kami doesn’t make fun of HIV. Smokey isn’t making fun of burned bears. I don’t know if I could be any clearer.

I’ve got no interest in removing myself from the “stigma of rhabdo”. If educating people causes others, like yourself, to be confused, that’s a price I will gladly pay. Our game plan has always been to win over the smart people first.

I have no choice but to take your word for your claim that you knew about rhabdo ahead of our work

Where did you get the idea that I thought that the military’s implementation and adoption of CrossFit was proof of anything? Why in the world would you put “proof” in quotation marks? Look, here’s where I goofed. I responded to what you posted not what you’d meant to say; I do that a lot. You said, (notice the quotes) “He didn't bother with the cert, because outside of CF it doesn't really hold any creed.” That statement is flat out false. By the way, proof is the exclusive province of mathematics. Science doesn’t involve proof or proving.

Your claim that CrossFit is not revolutionary “since you/it espouses concepts and exercises that have been part of professional and academic S&C curriculum for over 50 years…” is illogical nonsense. We did nothing new just took the same old stuff and combined it in new ways? In this manner no recipe is original if the ingredients are known. No song is original if the same old notes are used. No poem is original if the words contained therein are found in the dictionary.

Your comment about the “relatively uneducated masses” is an insult and coming from a guy who too often fails to create coherent sentences, struggles with simple logic, grammar, and spelling, misuses quotations, and offers NSCA and ACSM membership as scientific credentials it is insufferable. Philip you’re less educated than most of the people posting here and most assuredly less educated than our best educated. (I’m being nice here because my biographer from T-Nation, Chris Shugart, is here)

You say that “the criticisims that many have about CF are that they have not been subject to scientific scrutiny using the rigid standards to which many of the protocols espoused by Epley, Poliqiun, etc have had their training protocols held up to”. First of all, I’ve not seen that criticism anywhere. Second I don’t know of any scientific scrutiny of any fitness program.

You say that Epley and Poliquin are ”willing to let the training programs they espouse be put up to scrutiny both in the labratory and on the field of athletic performance, which may be their particular problem with CF”. Are you implying that I’m not willing to have the scientific validity of CrossFit be tested? I’m not only willing but begging.

The problem is that NSCA and ACSM "members" like you don’t see in language like this,

“Our very public and constant claim is that fitness is best defined as work capacity across broad time and modal domains; that meaningful assertions about a program need to address safety, efficacy, and efficiency with measurable, observable, repeatable data; that constantly varied, high intensity, functional movement delivered in a competitive sporting environment has produced unprecedented work capacity across broad time and modal domains (fitness); that by incorporating a lifestyle, including diet, rest, and workout elements that cause common health and fitness metrics to move simultaneously from pathological, past “normal”, to “fit” values we introduce a third axis, age, that turns our two dimensional work capacity area under the curve to a three dimensional solid whose volume defines both health and fitness (making health a logical facet of fitness); that all of this needs to be delivered publicly where methods, results, and criticisms, are transparent and, finally, that iterations of this effort have fed an open source community where experimentation will demonstrate best practices and ultimately advance the art and science of human performance .”

any testable propositions, scientific assertions – hypothesis or theories. They don’t recognize a revolutionary approach to fitness and a revolutionary quantifiable model of fitness and health that for the first time integrates both. They don’t see an intriguing new social construct for advancing human performance threatening to outpace and replace moribund commercial and academic approaches. They’re not willing to respond to a dialog that would be made meaningful by accepting our call for evidence-based fitness.

They don’t see data in performance scores when they’re posted as workout results or where people are having fun.

What they offer in response is mindless screed like you and T-Nation’s readers offer. Notice, friends, how not one poster at T-Nation even peripherally offers a criticism of CrossFit’s fundamental assertions. Not one.

There’s no evidence to suggest that my friend and biographer, Chris Shugart, or ANY of the posters have learned what it is that CrossFit claims.

How can you take my challenge of reviewing CrossFit and every other fitness program by examining effect, efficiency, and safety with measurable, observable, repeatable data, and then imply our unwillingness to engage in scientific inquiry?

Your claim that CrossFit has not been put to scrutiny on the field of athletic performance is an insult to the professional, Olympic, collegiate, and amateur champions that grace these very pages and workout with our affiliates around the world. It also speaks to my contention that you know very little about CrossFit.

The best you could do with any of this was what you offered here? Philip, you’re in way over your head.

Again, read more, post less.

Chris Shugart, I’m trying to be nicer. I really am.

User avatar

powerlifter54
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 7978
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2005 5:46 pm
Location: TX

Re: The couch thread

Post by powerlifter54 »

"my biographer"?

This level of arrogance and self love could only be exceeded by Mak when the Serb Olympic Team enters the Stadium at the Olympic Opening ceremonies.
"Start slowly, then ease off". Tortuga Golden Striders Running Club, Pensacola 1984.

"But even snake wrestling beats life in the cube, for me at least. In measured doses."-Lex

User avatar

powerlifter54
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 7978
Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2005 5:46 pm
Location: TX

Re: The couch thread

Post by powerlifter54 »

coop wrote:Finally a response to all the 700lb deadlift quote criticisms. see fuckWOD video from Monday...
Props to the lady for making the effort and setting a cultfit WR of box squatting a broomstick, exceeding the old record of a pvc pipe.

The bad news is the box squat form is atrocious but the coaching is worse. She needs hip flexor work and to get that box further away from her feet, ot to mention huge ab issues causing bendover.
"Start slowly, then ease off". Tortuga Golden Striders Running Club, Pensacola 1984.

"But even snake wrestling beats life in the cube, for me at least. In measured doses."-Lex

User avatar

Shafpocalypse Now
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 21385
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 11:26 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

Once again, he comes up snake eyes with this:
Your claim that CrossFit has not been put to scrutiny on the field of athletic performance is an insult to the professional, Olympic, collegiate, and amateur champions that grace these very pages and workout with our affiliates around the world. It also speaks to my contention that you know very little about CrossFit.
OK. Now he's playing that time honored game that you see coaches everywhere play.

Athlete A was coached by Coach A for 4 years of high school. Coach B for 4 years of collegiate athletics. He became a Candidate for the Olympics 2 years into college and was coached by Coach C at the Olympic Training Center for 3 months for the two years leading up to the Olympic Games. Coach D taught him how to squat in the 8th grade. Coach E taught him a new stretch for his hip flexors during the off season of his freshman year in college that really helped him out with some pain and tightness.

So, who is going to claim him on their resume?

Every single one of those motherfuckers. Coach A did a great job developmentally with him, and Coach B also developed him into an Olympian. Chances are, Coach C didn't do much for him. Coach D and Coach E might have had more impact than Coach C, by the way.

So, Greg Glassman asserts in the above statement that any athlete who comes to any affiliate of Crossfit, who developed most of their fitness and all of their sport specific skills previously, can be claimed by Crossfit to be developed by them.

Once again, Greg...show me, from start to finish, a world class athlete in a recognized sport that was developed by the Crossfit program, you, or another Crossfit trainer, using Crossfit methodology i.e. the WOD for the vast majority of his or her physical training.

I don't think you can, however, I would love to be proved wrong. I'm lookin' for closure here, mah negro!

User avatar

Shafpocalypse Now
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 21385
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 11:26 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

The bad news is the box squat form is atrocious but the coaching is worse. She needs hip flexor work and to get that box further away from her feet, ot to mention huge ab issues causing bendover.
I recognize that she's kicking as for a 75+ year old woman, but I have the same issues with that video that you have, PL54....exactly.


Gin Master
Sgt. Major
Posts: 3024
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2008 2:41 am

Re: The couch thread

Post by Gin Master »

Couch is Coach F. He buys their fare and pays their entry to the CF games and certs. Don't underestimate the developmental power of photo ops.

User avatar

Sofa King
Top
Posts: 2346
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 3:33 pm
Location: Loge 139, row k, seat 1
Contact:

Re: The couch thread

Post by Sofa King »

So that's the Jim Baker for which the "Jim Baker Standard GHD Situp" is named. I always wondered and now can die contented.

BTW, GHD sit ups are another overrated movement for the "core."
WGM wrote:Fall off a chinup bar, drop a barbell on your head, or piss yourself at the bottom of a squat and the Internet will never forget you.


TerryB
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 9697
Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 1:17 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

Fighting the good fight on another forum.

A cultfitter said I was "just ASSUMING that people will get hurt more often than doing other exercises."

to which I replied by posting the injuries from just ONE DAY's comments on Cultfit's website:
Quote:
Does anyone have any remedy at all for shoulder joint pain? It hurts primarily when jerking weight, i.e. push press, C+J, jerk, thruster and even slighlty on pullups at a DH.
It's been bothering me for almost 3 weeks now

Quote:
good workout except the inverted burpee hurt my back and I thought they were stupid, not all good ideas have to be executed, I put the inverted burpee into the same category as the "simulated shoveling," it strained my back as well but I did them in the spirit of drinking the crossfit kool aide.

Quote:
The full body intensity moving quickly from one movement to the other, coupled with a freshly hurt hip flexor meant this workout was a killer!
Pullups were definately the easy part. Rolling forward to your feet or kipping with an injured hip is cause for some pain.
I'll try to be smarter next time but its so hard to say no to the drug that is CrossFit!

Quote:
Tore my MCL and partial tear of my ACL and still attempted this WOD one legged

Quote:
Last round on my 13th pull-up I pullled my calf muscle, it was horrible. I can't remember the last time I pulled something and it hurt so bad.

Quote:
PS - my low back now hurts

Quote:
RAN 5K JUST BEFORE 21:30 NECK HURT QUIT EARLY.

Quote:
I'm nursing a rib injury at the moment

Quote:
i've got shin splints in both shins, and my left leg feels like a slight stress fracture or something....pain shooting from my heel to my knee

Quote:
I've been going through the same thing with my shoulders. The pain built up over about three weeks until I had to take a week off

Quote:
I tweaked my rotator cuff a couple months ago (probably from not being properly warmed up) which resulted in lingering shoulder pain

Quote:
R-toe injury made the regular burpees a little more painful.

Quote:
tweaked shoulder during Lynne

Quote:
pulled back muscle (from not warming up enough before the heavy power cleans), the shoulder, strained elbow tendon

Quote:
oh god, that was more than enough fun. THREE hand rips.

Quote:
I decided not to do the CF wod, on account of lower body issues(bruised shin, and sore heel and knee on other leg

Quote:
Jacked up neck muscles, skipped the wod.

Quote:
used alot of my left leg on the inverted burpees... still healing the right high-ham

Quote:
Smashed my ankle against my rings kicking up into a handstand

Quote:
started feeling a bad pinch in my back from the 150 cleans yesterday

....

This isn't "elite fitness."

It's retarded.
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"

Image

User avatar

Grandpa's Spells
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 11561
Joined: Thu Jan 06, 2005 10:08 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Grandpa's Spells »

protobuilder wrote:This isn't "elite fitness."

It's retarded.
=D> =D> =D> =D> LOL!
One of the downsides of the Internet is that it allows like-minded people to form communities, and sometimes those communities are stupid.


robb
Private
Posts: 20
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 2:48 am

Re: The couch thread

Post by robb »

Couch writes a lot of absolutes. "This has never happened." "That isn't true." "Where has anyone ever said that about us?" But there's never anything to back it up. Just this "we're so hardcore that I'm going to suggest to you that there are elite people doing our program but I'm not going to name names because that's not how I am even though I'm telling you that they exist" bullshit whisper campaign he has going.

And "world leaders in rhabdo awareness" is just hilarious. There's...nothing that you can even say to that.

User avatar

Shafpocalypse Now
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 21385
Joined: Fri Feb 04, 2005 11:26 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

PROTO!

Nice fucking contribution.

Greg is a legitimate asshole. He's too LEGIT TO QUIT. Calling Shugart, who's a dick himself, his biographer makes me giggle like my 5 year old daughter.

At least Greg and I like two things...tits and liquor. We can find common ground getting drunk at a titty bar...mister 6 figure income can buy the first round.


TerryB
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 9697
Joined: Fri Jun 06, 2008 1:17 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

robb wrote:And "world leaders in rhabdo awareness" is just hilarious. There's...nothing that you can even say to that.
I guarandamntee you that right there is litigation strategy, pure and simple. They know damn well someone's gonna come after Cultfit HQ at some point for a Cultfit injury or possible death, and when that happens, they're going to exclaim "we've been preaching rhabdo awareness for years!!!"

It's a defensive mechanism and they're setting it up right now. That "rhabdo awareness" line didn't show up until the recent lawsuits. Before that, it was all fun and games and hamming it up with Uncle Rhabdo, and they know it.
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"

Image

Post Reply