The couch thread

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The Real Rant
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Real Rant »

Jake Patrick wrote:Did Cooch ever interact with people on this forum? I wish he spoke up more online; this thread would be 300 or 400 pages long by now.

I believe he has in the past and then some knuckle head had to go threatening to rape his wife or something. Couch is douche but family has to be off limits...always.

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Mickey O'neil
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Re: The couch thread

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stosh wrote:Xfit for five-month olds:
Here's a question for anyone who can help:

I've been Zoning now for about a week and a half and I am TIRED, hungry, not recovering well from workouts, and kinda bitchy too. Not what I expected and not so fun, either. I've been doing 13 blocks (I'm 5'0", 113 lbs, but am also nursing my 5 month old so I guessed on how many blocks I need). What am I doing wrong? HELP please!!! Thank you!!!

Comment #11 - Posted by: Jen T at February 11, 2009 7:18 PM
Eating for two, let's go on calorie restricted diet? Someone was nice enough to recommend the Anabolic Diet to her. ](*,)
Reminds me of the vegan couple who starved their baby to death.

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The Real Rant
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Re: The couch thread

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stosh wrote:Xfit for five-month olds:
Here's a question for anyone who can help:

I've been Zoning now for about a week and a half and I am TIRED, hungry, not recovering well from workouts, and kinda bitchy too. Not what I expected and not so fun, either. I've been doing 13 blocks (I'm 5'0", 113 lbs, but am also nursing my 5 month old so I guessed on how many blocks I need). What am I doing wrong? HELP please!!! Thank you!!!

Comment #11 - Posted by: Jen T at February 11, 2009 7:18 PM
Eating for two, let's go on calorie restricted diet? Someone was nice enough to recommend the Anabolic Diet to her. ](*,)
WTF! @fit is riddled with eating disorders.


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Re: The couch thread

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stosh wrote:Xfit for five-month olds:
Here's a question for anyone who can help:

I've been Zoning now for about a week and a half and I am TIRED, hungry, not recovering well from workouts, and kinda bitchy too. Not what I expected and not so fun, either. I've been doing 13 blocks (I'm 5'0", 113 lbs, but am also nursing my 5 month old so I guessed on how many blocks I need). What am I doing wrong? HELP please!!! Thank you!!!

Comment #11 - Posted by: Jen T at February 11, 2009 7:18 PM
Eating for two, let's go on calorie restricted diet? Someone was nice enough to recommend the Anabolic Diet to her. ](*,)

Their diet might be sufficient if they weren't puking so damn much.
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Re: The couch thread

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Rant wrote:
The Shafpocalypse wrote:The iphone also chimes when it's time for a gin and tonic with oreos on the side.
It must chime constantly then.
This explains the mysterious 602 area code calls I was getting. He gets pinged and gets to dialing.
Also explains the DJ reconciliation attempt.
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Re: The couch thread

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If you had asked me this morning, I would have said that @F had reached critical mass of douchebaggery. But I would have been wrong.

http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/
What would you do if you were on the field at the Super Bowl? Professional photographer (and amateur CrossFitter) Alex Tamargo of I Am CrossFit chose overhead squats with a tripod. Choose yours and post to Comments.

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The Real Rant
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Re: The couch thread

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Gin Master wrote:If you had asked me this morning, I would have said that @F had reached critical mass of douchebaggery. But I would have been wrong.

http://www.crossfit.com/cf-affiliates/
What would you do if you were on the field at the Super Bowl? Professional photographer (and amateur CrossFitter) Alex Tamargo of I Am CrossFit chose overhead squats with a tripod. Choose yours and post to Comments.




I'd like to think that some linebacker came along moments after this photo and laid hit on him.


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Re: The couch thread

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Couch Federline and his enlarged liver open up to the Stefanie.

It reminds me of when Bud Bundy became Grandmaster B.

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Re: The couch thread

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That camerman is a dumbass.

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Re: The couch thread

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If this guy is an "amateur crossfitter", what prey tell is a "professional crossfitter"?

:-k

invited crossfit gaymes attendee?

NAH

:-k

I got it, a trust-funded cert groupie
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Re: The couch thread

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If I was on the field at the Super Bowl?
Option 1: Looking to do full body horizontal presses with cheerleaders.
Option 2: Looking for a pass to one of the luxury suites chuck full of booze and food.
Option 3: Looking for an opportunity to photobomb some douchebag's attempt at @fit Mainpage glory.
Option 4: Get the hell off the field because I can't see shit behind behemoth football players.
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Re: The couch thread

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Professional @fitters can be found at your local AA meetings. Don't believe me, just look at Cooch.

I will always remember my first meeting with a @fitter at the local gym. He was struggling to do a BB Snatch at under 100 lbs (he weighed about 180) and then trying to give me advice on my over 400 lbs deadlift ( I weighed about 160 lbs) because I wasn't quite getting it....oh yeah, he wore these :

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Re: The couch thread

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Do not mock the dead gay vibram lest I drive a perfectly canopied toe through your soul.
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Re: The couch thread

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Fat Cat wrote:Do not mock the dead gay vibram lest I drive a perfectly canopied toe through your soul.
Did I hit a sore spot Fats?

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Re: The couch thread

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:butthead: Yes.
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Re: The couch thread

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Fat Cat wrote::butthead: Yes.
If it makes you feel better I have a pair that I run and hike in. :partyman:

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Re: The couch thread

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You guys should go *backpacking* together with them hiking shoes.
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Re: The couch thread

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Joe wrote:You guys should go *backpacking* together with them hiking shoes.
Nah. I think my wife would get jealous of Makena real quick. You can go in my place. I heard you, Shape, and Gene go "backpacking" and "camping" all the time.

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Re: The couch thread

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Dunn wrote:
Joe wrote:You guys should go *backpacking* together with them hiking shoes.
Nah. I think my wife would get jealous of Makena real quick. You can go in my place. I heard you, Shape, and Gene go "backpacking" and "camping" all the time.
She sounds like a good catch, you should ask her for footwear advice more often.
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Re: The couch thread

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I covet me some Vibram KSO's.
The flesh is weak, and the smell of pussy is strong like a muthafucka.

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Re: The couch thread

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Dunn wrote:
Joe wrote:You guys should go *backpacking* together with them hiking shoes.
Nah. I think my wife would get jealous of Makena real quick. You can go in my place. I heard you, Shape, and Gene go "backpacking" and "camping" all the time.
She wants to run her fingers through my prehensile toes.
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Re: The couch thread

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I feel like saying a few things here via that epic form, the Valentine's Day meltdown (so...lonely...shit).

What is up with those faggoty goddamn motherfuckers at CrossFit Radio? First of all, that shit-eating son of a bitch host has the most annoying voice in the world. He's so sycophantic with that CrossFit shit that he has to mute the mic once in a while to tongue his co-host's asshole for just a sec because he's been thinking about getting fisted by Cooch all goddamn morning, for time, and it's got him hungry for reps.

Seriously, look at this garbage he posted over at his blog:

http://radio.crossfit.com/radio/2008/12 ... l#comments

First of all, what in the faggot nigger cunt is making all that noise around 1:10 in that video?

It's titled "Navy Wrestlers doing CrossFit-like workouts?" and he blathers on about how fucking strange it is that goddamn wrestlers are doing circuit training a la that old ass wrestling book people always point to when they want to say to Couch, "You didn't invent SHIT, Cockass!" He even says something about: despite the fact that even though they're using a couple of odd pieces of equipment (e.g., a prowler, db curls, Jesus Christ already), which isn't quite @Fit, and even though their form is bad (presumably when they're cleaning heavy ass sandbags..."but they can attend a Cert for that!"), they're still pretty darn impressive. Fuck you, CrossFit Radio guy. The aforementioned motherfucking reference to that old ass wrestling book says you drank the Kool-Aid, motherfucker. And not in that ironic way you stupid assholes say it to yourselves, like, "Hey Jennifer, I'm drinkin the Kool-Aid, are you?" and Jennifer is like, "Hellz yeah, Jarrod!" and they high-five and he winces a little bit, and her fresh tribal tat is all scabby and shit. No, you drank the Kool-Aid through your fucking ass, because that's the way Cooch implants his crazy ideas in your brain: He fucks you in the ass with his limp-inducing, freakish, blistery cock, and he jizzems into your head from right next to your spine. Holy fuck. 3,2,1, goooo the fuck away from the internet forever, please, you mother fucking idiots.

EDIT: Okay those guys do look like fucking retards with those db curls.

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Re: The couch thread

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Seriously, look at the kind of bullshit they're posting over at CrossFit Radio. I think that place is a neglected goldmine, folks. No offense to the lady who wrote these people a letter, I'm glad she's making improvements; but Jesus Fuck @F Radio, quit taking so much pride in yourself. Nobody. Gives. A Fuck! You are all. Assholes! Here's the blog post:

http://radio.crossfit.com/radio/2009/02 ... ssfit.html

And here:

"The Good Ole Days When You Were New To CrossFit"

I hope that everyone is ready for our first interview with a new CrossFitter this Friday. Don't you remember those good ole days? Making sure you kept checking the main site every 60 seconds starting at 8:45 to see if tomorrow's WOD was posted. You did pull ups from strange and public places. Keeping your fridge stocked with Kool-Aid. Feeling sore but not wanting the rest day to be here yet. Watching all of the videos posted in the exercises and demos section to the point that you have the dialogues, if there were any, memorized and your boss has given you that stern look for the umpteenth time. You and Pukie were on a first name basis.....you knew his mom...his girlfriend...his uncle...even his dog. You wanted to tell everyone you knew about CrossFit and you somehow found a way to weasel it into every conversation.
"Oh the Steelers won the Superbowl? How many of them do you think can do a sub three minute Fran? I'll bet Caity M. could kick their asses in basketball and CrossFit.".... You know stuff like that.

Well, in order to keep us all grounded and in touch with our roots, so to speak, we are going feature CrossFitters who are relatively new to the fold. Some will be live on the show and some will be on this blog. Here is one of the best letters Neil and I have received to date. This is what CrossFit is all about. Read this letter from Gayle Jordan.


"Hey whats up guys!

My name is Gayle Jordan and I'm from Chesapeake Va...

I found CrossFit back in October 2008 and took my 1st class October 27th... My starting weight was 234 Pounds and today I'm 181 Pounds! I'm down 53 Pounds with give or take 56 more to go! CrossFit is changing my life daily!

When I first started Crossfit I could only do 3 push-ups, today I can do 10, heck maybe even 11! (REAL Push-Ups) Sit-Ups I didn't even think I could do one but I tried and ended up doing 3! Today I can do 20-25 without stopping! Oh man and here's the BEST PART!!! When I started I couldn't do a pull-up, they started me on the black band well GUESS WHAT!?!? As of last week I am now doing pull-ups like its nothing!!!!! Well not nothing but I can do ONE!!! I still have work to do on them but I'm getting there!!!

As far as my diet goes... When I started Crossfit I was counting Calories man alive was that a pain but as of January 2009 I started the Zone and let me tell you THE ZONE WORKS! I am still in shock each time I weigh in!!!

CrossFit is changing my life and I can only hope to one day help others do the same!!!

Thanks for hosting the radio show!!!
You guys rock!!!

ps... Your drinking to much Kool-Aid if on your OFF days you still go to the gym just to hang out!!! <---LOL thats me!!!!

Attached is a picture I took of myself when I started and when I hit my 50 pound mark (January 17th, 2009)

And here's a little video I put together of my workouts... :o)
YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBf0gcA1YsQ


How cool is that? I dare say it's pretty damn cool. Post a comment and wish her well. "

These motherfuckers won't even drink Kool-Aid, it ain't Zone.

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Frowny fucking Mr. Kool-Aid, more like it.


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Re: The couch thread

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delete
All a man has is his word and to keep himself free.

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Dunn
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Dunn »

Damn Jake....been hitting the hooch much?

In all honestly I forgot about their faggoty radio. After reading some of the shit on there I feel like vomiting a tad. They are so deep in their own bullshit that it is frightening. Cultfit is an apt name. It amazes me that a simple, decent (not great), system for general fitness has turned into this. The folks at Cultfit have the same proselytizing vehemence that many former fat people do.

Well, I'm off to test my Fran time. :vom:

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