The couch thread

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 2:00 pm

@Fers are so hardkawr that when they apply high tension techniques they shit training plates...

Mickey O'neil · Post by **Mickey O'neil** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 2:09 pm

The stupidity is unbelievable.

Batboy2/75 · Post by **Batboy2/75** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 2:33 pm

protobuilder wrote:Excuse me, are those GIANT FUCKING 10 LB BUMPER PLATES in your pants, or are you just happy to see me?

coop wrote:what the fuck is going on here?

Is this in any way connected to Dr. Freud's ass cancer?

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 3:33 pm

Stillwater wrote:Some good hate here.

http://slavenation.com/index.php/2009/07/23/cultfit/

Great article.

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 3:51 pm

Stillwater wrote:Some good hate here.

http://slavenation.com/index.php/2009/07/23/cultfit/

It's like the Cliff's notes version of this thread.

Re: Couch

Bitch tits, a fat gut, and he knows the proper form of how to gently caress a nutsack!

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 4:03 pm

Normally Aussies are OK, but damn, they can afford a Concept II rower but can't afford shirts?? My buddies and I lift in an non-air conditioned steel storage shed but nobody takes their damn shirt off.

LiftHeavyShit · Post by **LiftHeavyShit** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 5:42 pm

Gin Master wrote:
Stillwater wrote:Some good hate here.

http://slavenation.com/index.php/2009/07/23/cultfit/
It's like the Cliff's notes version of this thread.

Re: Couch

Bitch tits, a fat gut, and he knows the proper form of how to gently caress a nutsack!

Spec OP Oliver Pansoff has posted this to the CF main site. I wonder how long it will last.

Crust Bucket · Post by **Crust Bucket** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 6:02 pm

The CultFitters unquestioningly eating his shit like soft-serve ice cream without even realizing that this statement is a contradiction of the entire religion.

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 6:46 pm

LiftHeavyShit wrote:
Gin Master wrote:
Stillwater wrote:Some good hate here.

http://slavenation.com/index.php/2009/07/23/cultfit/
It's like the Cliff's notes version of this thread.

Re: Couch

Bitch tits, a fat gut, and he knows the proper form of how to gently caress a nutsack!

Still there. Those dumbasses are so quick to return fire they're missing half the joke. Then again, they wouldn't be @Fers if they got it, would they?

Hello all,

I am somewhat new to CF and recently came across this article:

http://slavenation.com/index.php/2009/07/23/cultfit/

It is a bit concerning to say the least. Will some of the more experienced members here be willing to comment?

Regards,
OP
Comment #82 - Posted by: Oliver Pansoff at August 3, 2009 10:33 AM
Spec OP Oliver Pansoff has posted this to the CF main site. I wonder how long it will last.

Panssoff is a good soldier. He and guys like Howie Feltersnatch are willing to take fire to stop the tyranny of Couch.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:01 pm

KBois wrote:
http://slavenation.com/index.php/2009/07/23/cultfit/
On the comments to this article, someone mentions that there was a PBS documentary on cultfit?
Any one know anything about this?

Naw, they got it confused with the Jim Jones documentary.

Stillwater · Post by **Stillwater** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:28 pm

KBois wrote:
http://slavenation.com/index.php/2009/07/23/cultfit/
On the comments to this article, someone mentions that there was a PBS documentary on cultfit?
Any one know anything about this?

I feel like I just watched a PBS documentary on CultFit culture.

CultBuster · Post by **CultBuster** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:08 pm

Athletes I'd Like to See CF

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Tim Tebow(King Kong, Grace, Heavy Fran, Eva)
2. Forrest Griffin(Filthy Fifty)
3. Tiger Woods(Fran, just to see what he's got)
4. Percy Harvin (Helen)
5. Lance (Wonder what he'd be capable of after six months of WODing)

This is one of the many things about @fit that burns me up. WTF would any of these real athletes want to do some dumbass work out for. See what Tiger's got? 69 tour wins you dumb fuck. Lance needs 6 mos to prepare for @fit? Try rowing or running with him any distance. 10k runs anyone? How about this. I'd like to see any @fitter compete against any pro athlete in any real sport

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:19 pm

CultBuster wrote:
Athletes I'd Like to See CF

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. Tim Tebow(King Kong, Grace, Heavy Fran, Eva)
2. Forrest Griffin(Filthy Fifty)
3. Tiger Woods(Fran, just to see what he's got)
4. Percy Harvin (Helen)
5. Lance (Wonder what he'd be capable of after six months of WODing)
This is one of the many things about @fit that burns me up. WTF would any of these real athletes want to do some dumbass work out for. See what Tiger's got? 69 tour wins you dumb fuck. Lance needs 6 mos to prepare for @fit? Try rowing or running with him any distance. 10k runs anyone? How about this. I'd like to see any @fitter compete against any pro athlete in any real sport

The worst part is that Tiger would be diminished in most @Fers' eyes because he would "only" get 11 minutes or so on Fran.

Onan The Barbarian · Post by **Onan The Barbarian** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:34 pm

protobuilder wrote:Normally Aussies are OK, but damn, they can afford a Concept II rower but can't afford shirts?? My buddies and I lift in an non-air conditioned steel storage shed but nobody takes their damn shirt off.

Aussies are not OK. The invasion has come to town. Check out this scrote:

A very big mile stone since starting CrossFit. 200kg deadlift at 77kg (170lbs) body weight. Started CF in January 2009 with a deadlift 1RM of 155kg and haven't done any specific strength training since.

Actually, he's being modest. That's not a 200kg deadlift, that's 3, 3, 3, deadlifts in 1. He should claim 3x200kg. I can't see any hitch with that...

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 9:34 pm

CultBuster wrote:See what Tiger's got? 69 tour wins you dumb fuck.

Wait. You mean, athletes need accomplishments???

JohnnyBadAss · Post by **JohnnyBadAss** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 11:26 pm

Onan The Barbarian wrote:

A very big mile stone since starting CrossFit. 200kg deadlift at 77kg (170lbs) body weight. Started CF in January 2009 with a deadlift 1RM of 155kg and haven't done any specific strength training since.
Actually, he's being modest. That's not a 200kg deadlift, that's 3, 3, 3, deadlifts in 1. He should claim 3x200kg. I can't see any hitch with that...

Is he wearing white gloves or did he immerse his entire hand in the chalk bucket? And why is there a need to tape the front of the shins? Can these asshats not get close to the shins without scraping them?

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:57 am

Stillwater wrote:Some good hate here.

http://slavenation.com/index.php/2009/07/23/cultfit/

Fuzzy Dunlop · Post by **Fuzzy Dunlop** » Tue Aug 04, 2009 2:01 am

JohnnyBadAss wrote:
Onan The Barbarian wrote:

A very big mile stone since starting CrossFit. 200kg deadlift at 77kg (170lbs) body weight. Started CF in January 2009 with a deadlift 1RM of 155kg and haven't done any specific strength training since.
Actually, he's being modest. That's not a 200kg deadlift, that's 3, 3, 3, deadlifts in 1. He should claim 3x200kg. I can't see any hitch with that...
Is he wearing white gloves or did he immerse his entire hand in the chalk bucket? And why is there a need to tape the front of the shins? Can these asshats not get close to the shins without scraping them?

i applaud the tape on the shins... there are plenty of disease ridden whores that leave blood on the barbell and pull up bars around the affiliates. Hepatitis is not cool unless you got if from fucking pam anderson 20 years ago. its like the assholes who track their bathroom feet on the mat or don't wipe down equipment, except instead of getting a shitty rash you have to lie about being clean to every girl you fuck and then you die.

JohnnyBadAss · Post by **JohnnyBadAss** » Tue Aug 04, 2009 3:00 am

coop wrote:i applaud the tape on the shins... there are plenty of disease ridden whores that leave blood on the barbell and pull up bars around the affiliates. Hepatitis is not cool unless you got if from fucking pam anderson 20 years ago. its like the assholes who track their bathroom feet on the mat or don't wipe down equipment, except instead of getting a shitty rash you have to lie about being clean to every girl you fuck and then you die.

Must be a @F thing because I've never ripped my shins open doing deadlifts. Knicked or banged perhaps, but not shredded to the point of bleeding. I must not be hardcore.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Tue Aug 04, 2009 3:35 am

JohnnyBadAss wrote:
coop wrote:i applaud the tape on the shins... there are plenty of disease ridden whores that leave blood on the barbell and pull up bars around the affiliates. Hepatitis is not cool unless you got if from fucking pam anderson 20 years ago. its like the assholes who track their bathroom feet on the mat or don't wipe down equipment, except instead of getting a shitty rash you have to lie about being clean to every girl you fuck and then you die.
Must be a @F thing because I've never ripped my shins open doing deadlifts. Knicked or banged perhaps, but not shredded to the point of bleeding. I must not be hardcore.

That's because you're not doing 1387 consecutive reps with 40kg worth of bumper plates. The shins start to get a little tender after the first 200 reps.

CultBuster · Post by **CultBuster** » Tue Aug 04, 2009 12:42 pm

http://couch-gymnast.blogspot.com/

Funny site. I think it could be better if it focused on things more couch-like such as gin, cirrhosis and being a douche

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Aug 04, 2009 1:59 pm

Onan The Barbarian wrote:
protobuilder wrote:Normally Aussies are OK, but damn, they can afford a Concept II rower but can't afford shirts?? My buddies and I lift in an non-air conditioned steel storage shed but nobody takes their damn shirt off.

Aussies are not OK. The invasion has come to town. Check out this scrote:

A very big mile stone since starting CrossFit. 200kg deadlift at 77kg (170lbs) body weight. Started CF in January 2009 with a deadlift 1RM of 155kg and haven't done any specific strength training since.
Actually, he's being modest. That's not a 200kg deadlift, that's 3, 3, 3, deadlifts in 1. He should claim 3x200kg. I can't see any hitch with that...

Well, you see, @Fers disregard all rules from REAL strength sports...like massively hitching a DL, pressing out snatches, etc. They are better than these limited rules that real sports require! Only rule is probably pick it up from the floor to standing, a DL "anyhow". Besides, with @F judges only being required to pay an admission fee to the Gaymes to be picked out of the crowd, it's just too much to ask of them to pick out anything wrong with a lift other than maybe the lockouts.

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Tue Aug 04, 2009 2:23 pm

Resident Quack wrote:
Onan The Barbarian wrote:Actually, he's being modest. That's not a 200kg deadlift, that's 3, 3, 3, deadlifts in 1. He should claim 3x200kg. I can't see any hitch with that...
Well, you see, @Fers disregard all rules from REAL strength sports...like massively hitching a DL, pressing out snatches, etc. They are better than these limited rules that real sports require! Only rule is probably pick it up from the floor to standing, a DL "anyhow". Besides, with @F judges only being required to pay an admission fee to the Gaymes to be picked out of the crowd, it's just too much to ask of them to pick out anything wrong with a lift other than maybe the lockouts.

You are observing the ratchet DL, which is much more functional than the traditional DL. The only thing missing is the excessive hyperextension in the back that usually occurs in a @F DL.

Still, I'll give a @Fer some props for pulling 200kg @ 77.

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Tue Aug 04, 2009 2:52 pm

On the reservation but rejecting the kool-aid. More goodness from Greyskull.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_XvH4MVolDJg/S ... 8+copy.jpg

Steve demonstrating his propensity for following Doctor's orders. After being told not to lift anything over 15lbs following a minor procedure, he decided (after a wee bit of peer pressure from a ridiculously handsome individual) to take 505 from the second pin. My rationalization was that it didn't count because it didn't come from the floor, so technically he was good. Steve is set to pull a Deadlift PR this week, so the supramaximal pull/hold here will go a long way to boosting the confidence needed to break a lifetime record at 40 years old.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Tue Aug 04, 2009 5:43 pm

http://games2009.crossfit.com/thegames/ ... h-pad.html

Here's my quick recount of the North Pad Wod plus a couple of Nuggets for Happy CF'ing-

Nugget #1 When it comes to CF: Always - Check your EGO at the door.

So, check the EGO when one is going to do @F with cult buddies, then make sure to re-install massive EGO about @F when everywhere else?

Nugget #2 Good movement is obvious to everyone watching. No need to guess.

Yes, we know this. This is why so many people think @F sucks--they know good form, and @Fers don't do it. No guessing involved. The guys DL video above is evidence of this--good effort, crap form.

This might be the best cult ever.

I can only guess that @Fers get together and compare notes on their favorite cults to come up with this one.

IGX

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