The couch thread

Jag Panzer · Post by **Jag Panzer** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:52 am

They're a bunch of fucking nerd motherfuckers over there, aren't they?

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:02 am

Was listening the McDougal's Born to Run today and Dirt Diva was mentioned by name.

I felt violated.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:34 am

justpassingthrough wrote:
T200 wrote:Oh yeah, I don't know that chick's name in my sig. But it is so fantastic.

POD feel free to post your thoughts on my sig in the PODoto thread.
Just in case you never received an answer, the talented young lady in your sig is Lisa Lee of 8th Street Latinas:

You see that faggots?

This guy just made a phenomenal first post. Simply phenomenal.

I have not even come away with any info on whether or not he was an @Fitter.

This dude gets Couch Thread Rookie of the Year for that reason alone.

sanchezero · Post by **sanchezero** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:51 am

Jag Panzer wrote:They're a bunch of fucking nerd motherfuckers over there, aren't they?

if by nerds you mean stupid fuckin' cunts, then yeah, they are.

sanchezero · Post by **sanchezero** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 6:24 am

couch has been having a rough coupla days.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 12:59 pm

From one lurker to the new members of IGx so desperate to join the fray:

Pissed off lurker wanting nOObs with nothing to say to keep it to themselves wrote:So pretty much, this is very important to us.
The new people on irongarm are ruining everything!!! They all suck, and are trying way to hard to be cool and in-the-know.
We all agree they suck and need to go away. A bunch of I'm-mad-at-crossfit-too fucks who like to say they are one of the irongarm boys, is not good for irongarm society. Can't you kick their asses off??? They are cluttering the pages with stupid shit.
We hate it.

If only I had any power...

nOObs, here is the deal:

Your FIRST post should be an introduction (where you can relate all of the sob story details of your @F life) in the Free Speech Forum. Use this area to talk about all the things (and people) that have made you so butt-hurt you just had to come here to post them.
READ THE ENTIRE THREAD before you ever post to it. Don't skim. Don't bring up old shit that has been covered before.
Don't take up space on the couch thread unless you have NEW dirty info to post, NEW pictures, or something that is actually sharp and funny. Make sure to read POD's and Botototo's posts--especially the earliest ones--in general to see what not to do here. Analysis of the @F exercise non-program has been done before and is not welcome. Take that elsewhere.
Always quote or screen shot everything, for a paper trail when the attorneys sift through here.
As Shafpocalypse said, the first place to go in your @F recovery is the Performance Menu.

That is all.

Mickey O'neil · Post by **Mickey O'neil** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 1:22 pm

Thank you, Quack Attack. Let's hope they follow your advices. Thanks to you as well, Shafpocalypse.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 1:57 pm

The next step can only be suicide...
http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=53846

So, I'm faced with a bit of a weird situation here.

I'm just getting back into CrossFit, maybe a month back into it. I did a bunch of kipping pull-ups almost 2 weeks ago. After the workout I could definitely tell my elbows and lats are stressed, no real pain though. The next day I woke up and was unable to fully extend both elbows and unable to lift my arms straight above my head. So in general tight forearms, biceps and lats.

We're about 2 weeks later now and there's no pain in either elbow or lat. I have full range of motion.

The problem is I am unable to do even 1 pull-up anymore. My recent PR is 30 kipping pull-ups so it's not a strength issue.

When I try to do a pull-up I get a very weird feeling. There's ZERO pain at all when trying, just straight up am not able to do one. Feels very weak.

Just wondering if anyone's experienced this before or if anyone has some solid knowledge on this subject.

Where else can you find as elite a program? One that can take you from a 30 rep PR down to ZERO in a single workout?!?! The future is here...

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 2:09 pm

That's a nerve issue or whatever.

I had something happen to me a while back with my neck and all of a sudden my left biceps was super weak and I could no longer chin and my rows got very hard.

Took 5-6 weeks to recover from that. Freaked me out a bit.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 2:44 pm

Shaf,
It could be that, sure. In that thread, another thread is linked where another @Fer had the same thing, along with some darkened urine.

The bilateral (both sides) nature of it--as opposed to your situation--points more likely to subclinical rhabdo, as does the fact this situation repeats itself so often in the cult-munity. Back when I was a dipshit kipper, I had a similar experience with those damn GHD situps. Thank G-d I figured that shit out eventually.

Dano · Post by **Dano** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 2:45 pm

Quack Attack wrote:The next step can only be suicide...
http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=53846
So, I'm faced with a bit of a weird situation here.

I'm just getting back into CrossFit, maybe a month back into it. I did a bunch of kipping pull-ups almost 2 weeks ago. After the workout I could definitely tell my elbows and lats are stressed, no real pain though. The next day I woke up and was unable to fully extend both elbows and unable to lift my arms straight above my head. So in general tight forearms, biceps and lats.

We're about 2 weeks later now and there's no pain in either elbow or lat. I have full range of motion.

The problem is I am unable to do even 1 pull-up anymore. My recent PR is 30 kipping pull-ups so it's not a strength issue.

When I try to do a pull-up I get a very weird feeling. There's ZERO pain at all when trying, just straight up am not able to do one. Feels very weak.

Just wondering if anyone's experienced this before or if anyone has some solid knowledge on this subject.
Where else can you find as elite a program? One that can take you from a 30 rep PR down to ZERO in a single workout?!?! The future is here...

It's called "vaginitis". And Shaf, this doesn't apply to you problem, that's obviously because you were probably moving respectable weights.

DrDonkeyLove · Post by **DrDonkeyLove** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 2:51 pm

B-Boi George.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 2:59 pm

I'd Hit It wrote:
Some dude unable to hide his raging Couch-boner wrote:...since committing to the 100 Burpee Challenge (WFS) and doing a little investigating, I have stumbled across a crazy fact. Fact is, while we all love to hate burpees and most of us have our own nicknames, so to speak, for them, burpees have a power and mysticism to them that many are not aware of. I have learned that burpees are banned for use by deployed soldiers for they suply such an advantage to soldiers in the form of conditioning that Geneva has called foul. Also, rumor has it, the NCAA is now testing athletes for having done burpees, as they are afraid that it will lead to too many astericks in the record books. Major leaguers are knocking them out like mad men as we speak in fear of the MLB association following suit. If any of you have heard about burpees in the news in the form of medical miracles, legal aspects, or anything, please inform the rest of us.

A queer response to this faggotry:

Me and a few friends are doing 2010 burpees collectively before 2010. It shouldn't be too hard, we're already at 500 ish a few days in.

We'll probably do a shot for each of the last 10 on new years eve. Then have a rendezvous with Pukie shortly after

[Bono]
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH
HELLO HELLO???
UNO DOS CATORCE CUATRO OCHO
I CAN FEEEEEEEEEEL FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeL
[/Bono]

God... damn it... I hate Bono.

theoverman · Post by **theoverman** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:16 pm

I made a new troll over at AssFist named Naill Somerville. Gonna take it out for a spin in a week or two.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:22 pm

GODDAMN I'M FUCKING PISSED! WTF IS THIS SHIT ALL OVER THE COUCH THREAD???

AND THIS IS ABOUT THE LAST FUCKING STRAW:

WHO IS THE SCRAWNY (yet fully boobalicious) BROAD PLAYING "BIG GIRL" WITH A BAR THAT HAS PROBABLY BEEN USED BY CHAMPIONS AND BEEN LOADED TO 1000 POUNDS PLUS??????

IF THE BARBELL COULD SUE FOR SLANDER, IT WOULD WIN.

also, POD shovels snow for money?? Fucking hell POD. Stop admitting shit like that. Christ. If you were my nephew, I'd throw you into the fucking Christmas tree.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:24 pm

Barbell Nobility Restoration needed, courtesy of Bill March this time:

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:38 pm

theoverman wrote:I made a new troll over at AssFist named Naill Somerville. Gonna take it out for a spin in a week or two.

My guess is, now that you've outed the handle, it'll get banned before you can do any good trolling.

T-L · Post by **T-L** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:56 pm

Why do people hate Crossfit? Can anyone say arrogance and ego?

"1. They've never done it
2. They haven't done it right
3. They haven't done it long
4. They found it difficult
5. They found they suck at a lot of stuff
6. They couldn't handle the previous point"

Pinky · Post by **Pinky** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:57 pm

Quack Attack wrote:nOObs, here is the deal:
Your FIRST post should be an introduction (where you can relate all of the sob story details of your @F life) in the Free Speech Forum. Use this area to talk about all the things (and people) that have made you so butt-hurt you just had to come here to post them.

READ THE ENTIRE THREAD before you ever post to it. Don't skim. Don't bring up old shit that has been covered before.

Don't take up space on the couch thread unless you have NEW dirty info to post, NEW pictures, or something that is actually sharp and funny. Make sure to read POD's and Botototo's posts--especially the earliest ones--in general to see what not to do here. Analysis of the @F exercise non-program has been done before and is not welcome. Take that elsewhere.

Always quote or screen shot everything, for a paper trail when the attorneys sift through here.

As Shafpocalypse said, the first place to go in your @F recovery is the Performance Menu.
That is all.

I disagree with this ordering. I'm tired of assholes going to the FSF to complain about how much their knees hurt after a weekend of servicing people at a Level I cert. I suggest the following:
1. If and only if you have new dirty info to post, new pictures, something funny to say, etc., you should post in this thread.
2. If the only reaction to your post is that someone suggests you should introduce yourself on the FSF, go away. Otherwise, introduce yourself on the FSF.

ab g-d · Post by **ab g-d** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:08 pm

lee-tree wrote:Why do people hate Crossfit? Can anyone say arrogance and ego?

"1. They've never done it
2. They haven't done it right
3. They haven't done it long
4. They found it difficult
5. They found they suck at a lot of stuff
6. They couldn't handle the previous point"

Nope, sorry. As the father of this out of control but lovable prodigy,

1) I've done it.
2) I did it right - Greg Glassman himself gave me permission to teach CF to Philly SWAT when I did a seminar for them. I have published a number of articles for Robb Wolf etc...
3) I did for many months at a time.
4) It was difficult, which is why I like certain aspects of it.
5) I was pretty good at most of the core stuff.
6) Dumb and circular.

You've missed it completely despite having all the info right here at your cross modaly trained fingertips.

Now back to pics of hot CF chicks please.

Dan Martin · Post by **Dan Martin** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:16 pm

To me, CrossFit is on par with Frisbee Golf and Hacky Sack. Something for people who fit in no where else.

tough old man · Post by **tough old man** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:17 pm

Nope, sorry. As the father of this out of control but lovable prodigy,

1) I've done it.
2) I did it right - Greg Glassman himself gave me permission to teach CF to Philly SWAT when I did a seminar for them. I have published a number of articles for Robb Wolf etc...
3) I did for many months at a time.
4) It was difficult, which is why I like certain aspects of it.
5) I was pretty good at most of the core stuff.
6) Dumb and circular.

You've missed it completely despite having all the info right here at your cross modaly trained fingertips.

Now back to pics of hot CF chicks please.

Top Rating . Bill comes out of nowhere to slam a newby!

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:22 pm

lee-tree wrote:Why do people hate Crossfit? Can anyone say arrogance and ego?

"1. They've never done it
2. They haven't done it right
3. They haven't done it long
4. They found it difficult
5. They found they suck at a lot of stuff
6. They couldn't handle the previous point"

Ahh the arrogance and ego of the Cultfitter, on display. "People who hate Crossfit are jealous!"

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:29 pm

lee-tree wrote:Why do people hate Crossfit? Can anyone say arrogance and ego?

"1. They've never done it
2. They haven't done it right
3. They haven't done it long
4. They found it difficult
5. They found they suck at a lot of stuff
6. They couldn't handle the previous point"

Boo fucking hoo you sniveling cunt. Go back to your fucking "box," wipe down the whiteboards, post the WOD and get back on the fucking HQ tit.

Oh, and fuck off.

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:33 pm

Newbs, prove your worth. Barry Cooper was right about one thing in his "dot-com vs. local" thread:

http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=53744

I just wanted to note briefly that a change has happened invisibly which is worth mentioning: the tide has swept away from a focus on the community HERE to a focus on local communities. We have some 1,500 affililates or something, which means that virtually everyone who wants to CrossFit can do it locally. Moreover, in almost all cases they have local websites, which act to tie things together.

This is crucial in the conflict to save humanity. It is no longer adequate to simply hate on Couch from afar and call it a day.

Do you think WGM wakes up on Friday morning and mails it in with a couple pics of TITTYNYC? Hell no! He combs @filliate sites coast to coast to bring us the finest andro specimens. He doesn't worry about about the rips in his hands. He doesn't worry about how much Crisco or Kleenex he goes through. Why? Because he's a fucking champion. THAT is virtuosity, gents.

So newbs, go on your pilgrimage. Bring back some goodies. And give some relief to the old guard fighting the war at home. We will fight this thing as long as Couch draws hiccupy, gin-tainted breath.

IGX

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