The couch thread

LiftHeavyShit · Post by **LiftHeavyShit** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 6:48 pm

If only I had any power...

nOObs, here is the deal:

1. Your FIRST post should be an introduction (where you can relate all of the sob story details of your @F life) in the Free Speech Forum. Use this area to talk about all the things (and people) that have made you so butt-hurt you just had to come here to post them.
2. READ THE ENTIRE THREAD before you ever post to it. Don't skim. Don't bring up old shit that has been covered before.
3. Don't take up space on the couch thread unless you have NEW dirty info to post, NEW pictures, or something that is actually sharp and funny. Make sure to read POD's and Botototo's posts--especially the earliest ones--in general to see what not to do here. Analysis of the @F exercise non-program has been done before and is not welcome. Take that elsewhere.
4. Always quote or screen shot everything, for a paper trail when the attorneys sift through here.
5. As Shafpocalypse said, the first place to go in your @F recovery is the Performance Menu.

That is all.

This type of shit needs to be stickied. This thread is moving too fast. None of the ex-cultfucks will see it. Too much bullshit as of late. The cultfucks are posting nonsense to distract from the real purpose of this thread.

jscratch · Post by **jscratch** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 6:50 pm

Kraj wrote:In response to the above being a "proper" workout, I find that pushing yourself to the point that you're bleeding from the nose is just as idiotic as crossfitters pushing themselves to throw up or piss black tea. The powerlifting game is just as convoluted and full of shit as CrossFit. When ragging on crossfitters for acting like homos, we probably shouldn't counter with pictures of a fat oaf crouched over and grimacing while another fat oaf cups his manbreasts and looks like he's giving it to him from behind.

Comparing powerlifting to crossfitting is fucking stupid. A good powerlifter will program their schedule so as to allow that max effort, balls to the wall lifting to be done on the platform. That sort of training is well thought out and executed in order to achieve a real specific athletic goal. That is NOTHING like the random rhabdo inducing stupidity being done by the masses trying to be mediocre at everything.

Being (actually) elite in most any athletic endeavor is rarely the healthiest thing for the athlete involved and powerlifting is no exception. The thing though is that powerlifters don't lie about it and their achievements are actually measurable.

theoverman · Post by **theoverman** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 6:58 pm

friedquads wrote:
A link would help: http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=53467

Glad to see Renee "Teacher you forgot to give us homework" Lee tossing in her two cents.

Kraj · Post by **Kraj** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 6:59 pm

jscratch wrote:Comparing powerlifting to crossfitting is fucking stupid. A good powerlifter will program their schedule so as to allow that max effort, balls to the wall lifting to be done on the platform. That sort of training is well thought out and executed in order to achieve a real specific athletic goal. That is NOTHING like the random rhabdo inducing stupidity being done by the masses trying to be mediocre at everything.

Being (actually) elite in most any athletic endeavor is rarely the healthiest thing for the athlete involved and powerlifting is no exception. The thing though is that powerlifters don't lie about it and their achievements are actually measurable.

And what is the purpose for both CrossFit and powerlifting? Vanity. Neither is a valid FITNESS system. If you're throwing up and always too weak and tired to do the most basic of shit, then you're not fit, no matter what your Fran time is. If you're 300+ lbs and get winded climbing up stairs, then you're not fit, no matter what your meet totals are. I compare the two because they're exactly alike in that they're both based on vanity and have no grounding in actual health and fitness.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:02 pm

jscratch wrote:
Comparing powerlifting to crossfitting is fucking stupid. A good powerlifter will program their schedule so as to allow that max effort, balls to the wall lifting to be done on the platform. That sort of training is well thought out and executed in order to achieve a real specific athletic goal. That is NOTHING like the random rhabdo inducing stupidity being done by the masses trying to be mediocre at everything.

Being (actually) elite in most any athletic endeavor is rarely the healthiest thing for the athlete involved and powerlifting is no exception. The thing though is that powerlifters don't lie about it and their achievements are actually measurable.

This.

theoverman · Post by **theoverman** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:03 pm

AssFisters! Kneel before your kipping god!!

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=boLl8rGhJvE[/youtube]

It's ok to kip when you total over 2300.

MacGyver · Post by **MacGyver** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:03 pm

lasalle wrote:Lots of lulz, but I particularly enjoyed 1:28. @Fit-Lalanne Fitness getting elite.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9B9tx8F4FSE[/youtube]

Holy fucking shit. My wrists and elbows cry out in sympathetic pain. How can they fuck up something as simple as racking the bar so completely?

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:03 pm

Kraj wrote:
jscratch wrote:Comparing powerlifting to crossfitting is fucking stupid. A good powerlifter will program their schedule so as to allow that max effort, balls to the wall lifting to be done on the platform. That sort of training is well thought out and executed in order to achieve a real specific athletic goal. That is NOTHING like the random rhabdo inducing stupidity being done by the masses trying to be mediocre at everything.

Being (actually) elite in most any athletic endeavor is rarely the healthiest thing for the athlete involved and powerlifting is no exception. The thing though is that powerlifters don't lie about it and their achievements are actually measurable.
And what is the purpose for both CrossFit and powerlifting? Vanity. Neither is a valid FITNESS system. If you're throwing up and always too weak and tired to do the most basic of shit, then you're not fit, no matter what your Fran time is. If you're 300+ lbs and get winded climbing up stairs, then you're not fit, no matter what your meet totals are. I compare the two because they're exactly alike in that they're both based on vanity and have no grounding in actual health and fitness.

Yeah, Lamar Gant-- what a lardass.

Danny John · Post by **Danny John** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:07 pm

Wow, Nick Cummings left. He was always a good read, if I recall this correctly. I think he has/had his act together...

If you go to the threads back in 2004, very few people are still around. I still remember the time I did the Squat Clean workout with 185 for 30 like in two minutes, than an argument ensued about whether or not the guy who did 65 x 30 in like one minute worked harder.

I hang my head in shame, yes, but like the old warrior, I took the bullet for one of you.

LiftHeavyShit · Post by **LiftHeavyShit** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:08 pm

1. They've never done it

What’s “it”? Not being good at anything? CF may be against the specialist but IS the specialist at not being very good at anything. Overhead squats with PVC and public handstand pics don’t count for shit.

2. They haven't done it right

I didn’t know there was a right way to be average at everything.

3. They haven't done it long

Long enough to end up like Couch Glassman? When did falling off the rings for time and Tabata gin shots become the new gold standard?

4. They found it difficult

Stop crying about difficulty and start talking about results. Random rhabdo induced stupidity doesn’t count.

5. They found they suck at a lot of stuff

Newbie gains for the novice with a burnout, injury, and more plateaus than the Mexican Altiplano. What a fucking life.

6. They couldn't handle the previous point"

Wrong. I can’t handle your weak attempt at trolling.

Croatoa · Post by **Croatoa** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:10 pm

Danny John wrote:Wow, Nick Cummings left. He was always a good read, if I recall this correctly. I think he has/had his act together...

If you go to the threads back in 2004, very few people are still around. I still remember the time I did the Squat Clean workout with 185 for 30 like in two minutes, than an argument ensued about whether or not the guy who did 65 x 30 in like one minute worked harder.

I hang my head in shame, yes, but like the old warrior, I took the bullet for one of you.

Jeebus, that's almost worse than all the pound for pound debates all over the interwebs.

jscratch · Post by **jscratch** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:10 pm

Kraj wrote:
jscratch wrote:Comparing powerlifting to crossfitting is fucking stupid. A good powerlifter will program their schedule so as to allow that max effort, balls to the wall lifting to be done on the platform. That sort of training is well thought out and executed in order to achieve a real specific athletic goal. That is NOTHING like the random rhabdo inducing stupidity being done by the masses trying to be mediocre at everything.

Being (actually) elite in most any athletic endeavor is rarely the healthiest thing for the athlete involved and powerlifting is no exception. The thing though is that powerlifters don't lie about it and their achievements are actually measurable.
And what is the purpose for both CrossFit and powerlifting? Vanity. Neither is a valid FITNESS system. If you're throwing up and always too weak and tired to do the most basic of shit, then you're not fit, no matter what your Fran time is. If you're 300+ lbs and get winded climbing up stairs, then you're not fit, no matter what your meet totals are. I compare the two because they're exactly alike in that they're both based on vanity and have no grounding in actual health and fitness.

I agree with you on one point, that powerlifting is not about health and fitness. It's a sport, where competitors lift heavy fucking weights. The very best aren't training to be healthy. They're training to be elite at lifting heavy weight. That's the nature of sport. It's not about health and I'm not seeing why you think it's being suggested it is.

I disdain crossfit because not only are they claiming health and fitness (which they don't deliver), but they're also claiming elite status (which again they don't deliver, obviously).

If I were to suggest a program for health and fitness, I would much rather go with powerlifting influenced training (not maxing all the time, but real weights with quality exercises done with good volume) and regular cardio and stretching.

T200 · Post by **T200** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:11 pm

lasalle · Post by **lasalle** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:16 pm

T200 wrote:

T200 and Warren G got to regulate...

KingSchmaltzBagelHour · Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:18 pm

T200 wrote:

nigger.

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:20 pm

theoverman wrote:
friedquads wrote:
A link would help: http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=53467

Glad to see Renee "Teacher you forgot to give us homework" Lee tossing in her two cents.

Couch needs to ass rape that stupid cunt with a rabid badger.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:26 pm

Renee Lee wrote:Also, the topic in question has been proven more than once to be one that the members of this forum are incapable of discussing rationally within the context of the AUP.

What an ass kisser. I like it that the "members of [the Cultfit] forum" are so dumb that they can't be rational. Or does "rational" mean "not uncomfortable to the empire"?

T200 · Post by **T200** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:29 pm

Never trust a stupid, Couch-influenced faggot nigger IMO.

Not even to post in their own threads.

Croatoa · Post by **Croatoa** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:39 pm

It's a G-funk era funked out with a gansta twist.

JohnnyBadAss · Post by **JohnnyBadAss** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:45 pm

theoverman wrote:
friedquads wrote:
A link would help: http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=53467

Glad to see Renee "Teacher you forgot to give us homework" Lee tossing in her two cents.

Hey, don't be hatin'...

Renée Lee is level 1 certified

Even better than that she continues to line Couch's gin coffer with $1000 and drink the Kool-Aid, after repeatedly seeing the type of people she's funneling the money to, is this comment from one of her Kool-Aid bathing compatriots.

Rafael Flores - CONGRATS GIRL! SEE YOU IN CLASS COACH!

Coach? Coach?!?!!? She's now a fucking "coach" because she paid $1000?

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:49 pm

JohnnyBadAss wrote:Coach? Coach?!?!!? She's now a fucking "coach" because she paid $1000?

This is a breach. At one point, L1s were upset because their certification didn't entitle them to be called "coach." Couch decreed that you were only a coach after getting your L2. This prompted a lot of "I dropped $1,000, I got two days of education, I work with teh real athletes, I can damn well call myself a coach!"

T200 · Post by **T200** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:51 pm

LOL Couch Renee Lee. WTF

KingSchmaltzBagelHour · Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:53 pm

Oh yeah, COACH.
She's just been recruited to help the Pat's O-line improve their explosiveness.
Belichick didn't want to trust ANYONE to the job, he needed someone who has proven their worth working with "elite" ath-a-letes...
In other words, he needed a dumb cunt of a twat with a Level 1 CF certification under her extremely large belt.
God, I hate that fucking waste of a hole.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:55 pm

All this hate...strangely enough, I'm now getting interested in seeing her naked.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Mon Dec 21, 2009 7:56 pm

Jesus Monkey Fuck, every time I leave the house and come back there's fucking five new pages or more. I can't keep up.

IGX

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