The couch thread

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Grandpa's Spells
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Grandpa's Spells »

One of the downsides of the Internet is that it allows like-minded people to form communities, and sometimes those communities are stupid.

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Alfred_E._Neuman
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Alfred_E._Neuman »

Many thanks. :drinkers:
I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.

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Turdacious
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Turdacious »

Comment on this:
So what is the message?
Submitted by krama58 on Sun, 12/27/2009 - 21:20.
Go back to Golds Gym and do 5x5 workouts of deadlifts and back squats, and then do a 20 minute run on the treadmill?
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Yes I Have Balls
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Yes I Have Balls »

This is the work of Melissa Urban (Byers) and her partner Dallas. They are obviously not true @fit zombies, they are vocal followers of Robb Wolf and, IMO, will soon find themselves on the wrong end of couch's deaffiliation rape stick.

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Sofa King
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Sofa King »

louburr wrote:
Sofa King wrote:
louburr wrote:I think Eddie Lugo is probably happy to be rid of that nut job lisa at this point.
Go on . . .

If you're going to come in and say shit like this, have the bawls to back it up with an anecdote.

That's a short, meaningful story to all you @fitters. :-"
We are not all @fitters and if you need an anecdote after reading 500+ pages of this thread to figure out Lisa is the latest xfit nut job you are a "retard"
Listen, ye of 15 posts. You claim she's a nut job; give us an example. . .
other than the ones already posted. Otherwise, go back to your real identity as Captain Obvious.
WGM wrote:Fall off a chinup bar, drop a barbell on your head, or piss yourself at the bottom of a squat and the Internet will never forget you.


wtfmate

Re: The couch thread

Post by wtfmate »

nafod wrote:
wtfmate wrote:Shitty brand of KB and her shoulder isn't elevated correctly.
Being a woman, she should be holding an iron skillet.
=D> =D>

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

CultBuster wrote:
Urban.jpg
I wish she would get some more pix

You've really got to dig to find them, but they're worth it.

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Those aren't just "crazy eyes" those are "crazy as a shithouse rat eyes." Me likey.
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basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.

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sanchezero
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Re: The couch thread

Post by sanchezero »

Image

yeah, that's disturbing. i'd be nervous if those eyes were looking up from my lap.
have you ever been as far as even considered go want to do look more like?
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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Those are eyes that promise screaming, crying, bitter recriminations, household furnishings thrown at you through windows and non-load bearing walls, and unbelievably hot makeup sex.
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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

MIDGET POWER!

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The Ginger Beard Man
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Ginger Beard Man »

WildGorillaMan wrote:hose aren't just "crazy eyes" those are "crazy as a shithouse rat eyes." Me likey.
And a Jeek- neck. Who knew Jack had a hot sister?
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Jezzy Bell wrote:Use a fucking barbell, pansy.

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Dude, I know that you heard a three-plate front squat is considered good, but you're kind of missing the point here.

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basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Palette Cleanse:

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CultBuster
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Re: The couch thread

Post by CultBuster »

FUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKK..Urban has "crazy eyes". Is it some code on the @Fit main page that casues it, or do crazy bitches just get done with @fit. Urban and Dallas actually have some of the better programing I have seen. Some stuff just turns into too much math.

http://whole9life.com/2009/12/beware-th ... y-met-con/

is link to piece about increased performance, but less fun.

http://crossfitwhole9.com/2009/08/power-all-around/

Just solid work outs. They must be on their way out with Rob and Greg. I wish it were true that Rob, Greg, Rip and Welbourne were going out on their own. Bring Dutch, Rut and OPT and you would have a solid bunch of dudes that knew their shit. Bring Dan John in and..........................


wtfmate

Re: The couch thread

Post by wtfmate »

WildGorillaMan wrote:MIDGET POWER!

Image
Nice heel lift.

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Dan Martin
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Dan Martin »

WildGorillaMan wrote:MIDGET POWER!

Image

You never see a skinny midget.
Shomer Shabbos.

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LiftHeavyShit
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Re: The couch thread

Post by LiftHeavyShit »

These pictures of plywood lifters and 10 pound bumper fucktards makes me think that Couch may have been right.
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T200
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Re: The couch thread

Post by T200 »

CultBuster wrote:FUUUUUCKKKKKKKKKK..Urban has "crazy eyes". Is it some code on the @Fit main page that casues it, or do crazy bitches just get done with @fit. Urban and Dallas actually have some of the better programing I have seen. Some stuff just turns into too much math.

http://whole9life.com/2009/12/beware-th ... y-met-con/

is link to piece about increased performance, but less fun.

http://crossfitwhole9.com/2009/08/power-all-around/

Just solid work outs. They must be on their way out with Rob and Greg. I wish it were true that Rob, Greg, Rip and Welbourne were going out on their own. Bring Dutch, Rut and OPT and you would have a solid bunch of dudes that knew their shit. Bring Dan John in and..........................
Any workout beginning with this:
Buy-in

* Dislocates and rotational dislocates
* Practice handstand holds
* Practice forward rolls, either from a handstand or from standing
Is a child's workout. Not for adults. Eliminate gymnastics and @Fitters will make a major step forward.
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LiftHeavyShit
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Re: The couch thread

Post by LiftHeavyShit »

[email protected]


Dear Greg,

No Ensign implements anything. SEAL, Prior Enlisted, or even CF certified.
So much fucking truth here. Ensign is a junior fucking rank. They don't enlist shit. Glasshole doesn't care though. He knows that his crew doesn't know shit about the military. They read that an Ensign has implemented the program and think Colin Powell is doing the fucking WOD.

This is how CF functions. Some Navy dipshit does Crossfit, so now Glasshole claims that the entire fucking military has officially enlisted their services.
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wtfmate

Re: The couch thread

Post by wtfmate »

LiftHeavyShit wrote:
[email protected]


Dear Greg,

No Ensign implements anything. SEAL, Prior Enlisted, or even CF certified.
So much fucking truth here. Ensign is a junior fucking rank. They don't enlist shit. Glasshole doesn't care though. He knows that his crew doesn't know shit about the military. They read that an Ensign has implemented the program and think Colin Powell is doing the fucking WOD.

This is how CF functions. Some Navy dipshit does Crossfit, so now Glasshole claims that the entire fucking military has officially enlisted their services.
Yup, even though its been passed down the chain in the AF that they 100% do not endorse CF.


ab g-d
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Re: The couch thread

Post by ab g-d »

As a non military guy, chain of command was very apparent when we did the SEAL thing.

About a dozen of them did the RKC track so they could go back and teach other teams. That meant they did both the snatch test and the teaching test. We used their bosses to be the "victims" for the teaching test. All the name calling and bullshitting stopped on a dime. The defference showed them, and how important it was that their bosses saw the value in the training was very clear, even in this very casual setting.

I know the internet, and CF in particular, is the home of saying shit you would never say to the same person face to face - but picture if you will Couch saying this shit in person Caviston.
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Re: The couch thread

Post by wtfmate »

ab g-d wrote:As a non military guy, chain of command was very apparent when we did the SEAL thing.

About a dozen of them did the RKC track so they could go back and teach other teams. That meant they did both the snatch test and the teaching test. We used their bosses to be the "victims" for the teaching test. All the name calling and bullshitting stopped on a dime. The defference showed them, and how important it was that their bosses saw the value in the training was very clear, even in this very casual setting.

I know the internet, and CF in particular, is the home of saying shit you would never say to the same person face to face - but picture if you will Couch saying this shit in person Caviston.
I can't picture Couch saying anything outside of a warm fuzzy setting, nevermind picking up a log. Fact is he can't do shit that requires a pair.

http://www.crossfit.com/mt-archive2/2nd ... BOH_th.jpg

Don't the people at CF realize this is a PTP picture, not a CF picture? They fucking steal everything now!

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LiftHeavyShit
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Re: The couch thread

Post by LiftHeavyShit »

wtfmate wrote:
ab g-d wrote:As a non military guy, chain of command was very apparent when we did the SEAL thing.

About a dozen of them did the RKC track so they could go back and teach other teams. That meant they did both the snatch test and the teaching test. We used their bosses to be the "victims" for the teaching test. All the name calling and bullshitting stopped on a dime. The defference showed them, and how important it was that their bosses saw the value in the training was very clear, even in this very casual setting.

I know the internet, and CF in particular, is the home of saying shit you would never say to the same person face to face - but picture if you will Couch saying this shit in person Caviston.
I can't picture Couch saying anything outside of a warm fuzzy setting, nevermind picking up a log. Fact is he can't do shit that requires a pair.
That's how his entire business was built. Glassman never performed at any level in any meaningful sport. He will never have the balls to say anything to anyone's face, unless you count someone like POD or Josh Hillis. He is pathetically out of shape, yet has the audacity to talk shit about Caviston. Glasshole would shit a brick if he was alone with Caviston in an alley. What a leader! A fucking bum who never did anything and has NO past to show for other than a made up ring injury. Now this fat fucking scumbag is leading an imaginary fitness revolution.

What's even more comical is that he doesn't even coach or train anyone. He will tell you that CF was developed after decades of sweat and experimentation in the gym. If this was true, why did he change the entire fucking program after a few months on the message boards (newbies read here: http://www.cathletics.com/articles/comm ... hortyID=39)?

Decades of experimentation went to the shitter. Wait a minute, maybe there weren't decades of invention after all. What an amazing discovery for you koolaid drinking fucktards who let some drunk dipshit randomly post a few exercises after a day's worth of gin consumption. It's all a fucking joke.
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Gary John
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Gary John »

Little fucking guy with an RPG takes out an APC.

Happened all the time. So, when we got back to base camp, we'd work on our pull-ups?

The bace camp warriors were the ones working out.

We got drunk and smoked dope until it was time to go to that fighting stuff.

I love the wannabes. So, if you needed to lift four wounded guys after running 30 miles through the rice paddy, and one of your arms fell off...............
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Turdacious »

Gary John wrote:Little fucking guy with an RPG takes out an APC.

Happened all the time. So, when we got back to base camp, we'd work on our pull-ups?

The bace camp warriors were the ones working out.

We got drunk and smoked dope until it was time to go to that fighting stuff.

I love the wannabes. So, if you needed to lift four wounded guys after running 30 miles through the rice paddy, and one of your arms fell off...............
You clearly don't know nothin. A real man would have gotten himself a permanant light duty profile because of an unspecified ring injury.
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