
The couch thread
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- Sergeant Commanding
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Re: The couch thread
Welcome aboard.
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- Gunny
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Re: The couch thread
can't believe the hawk hasn't gotten this one on the CF message board:
Emily Mattes
Member
Re: Since You Guys Are Always Wondering About Sport Carry-Over
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So the answer to "Why do specialized athletes come in and spank die-hard Crossfitters' butts in their own Games" is "The athletes are doing varied movements at high intensity, so they're doing Crossfit"?! Track-and-field? Crossfit! Football? Crossfit! MMA? Crossfit! It's all Crossfit!
Rather than defending Crossfit's methodology, you're just claiming everything is Crossfit? Really?! What, Crossfit has been existing in all of us, since the beginning of time, and has only now emerged under the name "Crossfit"? Doug Hepburn did Crossfit! Eugene Sandow did Crossfit! Pisarenko did Crossfit! They didn't call it Crossfit, but it was Crossfit!
The programming of elite athletes looks nothing like the mainpage WOD. Nothing. And please, if you have to start bringing in, say, the strength-bias programming of Random Affiliate X as an example and claim that suddenly the programming of that one affiliate now represents all of Crossfit--for this instance, anyway, when we talk about endurance training you'll find an affiliate who does more endurance-based stuff--then you have reached a level of cherry-picking in your argument that's simply ludicrous.
When your exercise system can be defined by everything, ultimately it is nothing. Nothing but someone with a name trying desperately to co-opt the programming and successes of others, anyway.
And if someone wants to argue we just have to wait for the athlete who's been doing Crossfit from a young age to come up and sweep the Games . . . Well, how is Connor Martin doing in that front?
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- Anal Sadist
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Re: The couch thread
In the beginning was @fit, and @fit was with God, and @fit was God.
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- Sgt. Major
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Re: The couch thread
If you can't beat 'em, claim 'em.
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Re: The couch thread
CF is elite compromise fitness.

but not to this lady - it's life or death
Stephanie Tafoya wrote: The workout missed is the opportunity missed. I will not cheat myself of the opportunity to become a better athlete and person.
about an hour ago · Comment · Like
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Re: The couch thread
Thank fuck and baby Jesus.Yes I Have Balls wrote:CF is elite compromise fitness.
but not to this lady - it's life or death
Stephanie Tafoya wrote: The workout missed is the opportunity missed. I will not cheat myself of the opportunity to become a better athlete and person.
about an hour ago · Comment · Like
Shomer Shabbos.
Re: The couch thread
"Torn aorta" is likely an aortic dissection or dissecting AAA. While this is bad news and a COMPLETE aortic dissection means you're dead in approximately the time it takes to say "elite fuhztnhhhh," incomplete dissections can still be caught and repaired if you're lucky.
Re: The couch thread
So much for listening to your body when it comes to training, huh?Yes I Have Balls wrote:CF is elite compromise fitness.
but not to this lady - it's life or death
Stephanie Tafoya wrote: The workout missed is the opportunity missed. I will not cheat myself of the opportunity to become a better athlete and person.
about an hour ago · Comment · Like
"The reason that 'guru' is such a popular word is because 'charlatan' is so hard to spell."
@GSElevator: Can we please stop calling them hipsters and go back to calling them pussies?
Blood eagles solve everything.
@GSElevator: Can we please stop calling them hipsters and go back to calling them pussies?
Blood eagles solve everything.
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Re: The couch thread
That's not eleet enough. High intensity 6 days a week, all year long or your an insect.Freki wrote:So much for listening to your body when it comes to training, huh?Yes I Have Balls wrote:CF is elite compromise fitness.
but not to this lady - it's life or death
Stephanie Tafoya wrote: The workout missed is the opportunity missed. I will not cheat myself of the opportunity to become a better athlete and person.
about an hour ago · Comment · Like
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- Staff Sergeant
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Re: The couch thread
FB message to Coch Crassmen! I am conteplating a response, but will take suggestionsCrossFit Geneseo March 17 at 10:53am
You guys know a lot about lifting and all that stuff, and you're really funny most of the time, but your medical knowledge may not be the best.
An aortic aneurysm is a genetic condition that is rarely diagnosed before the tear occurs. It is nearly always fatal. The tear can occur at any time and was not related to the workout in any way. This woman is my friend and she is fighting for her life right now.



Re: The couch thread
Aortic aneurysm schmaneurysm. What her friend needs is some of Crassman's STFU therapy! Nature eschews aneurysms.CultBuster wrote:FB message to Coch Crassmen! I am conteplating a response, but will take suggestionsCrossFit Geneseo March 17 at 10:53am
You guys know a lot about lifting and all that stuff, and you're really funny most of the time, but your medical knowledge may not be the best.
An aortic aneurysm is a genetic condition that is rarely diagnosed before the tear occurs. It is nearly always fatal. The tear can occur at any time and was not related to the workout in any way. This woman is my friend and she is fighting for her life right now.
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"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"


Re: The couch thread
Justin sounds like an up and coming contender for the fire-breathing cliche olympics. That real athletes train for a few months and dominate their activities apparently has him spewing this hatred. If cf attracted and retained athletes instead of former thespians, and stay-at-home moms this wouldn't be a problem for him.Yes I Have Balls wrote:Free hate top off courtesy of Justin Riley from @fiteastsacSince CrossFit is the only community to have an adequate definition of fitness, "work capacity across broad time and modal domains" We have legitimate claim to say that our sport is the test of the fittest athletes in the world.
Also every athlete who has come into CrossFit competition and done well with little CF experience was training with "constantly varied functional movement executed at high intensity." They may not have even known it, but by definition, they were basically doing CrossFit. Performing CrossFit does not simply mean aimlessly following the main site, or working on Fran, Elizabeth and Diane every other day.
All you CF ignorant douche bag haters need to either show up and compete, or bring some athletes who you coach and show us how great you are. The funny thing is that as much as some people want to hate, they spend their free time on CF websites, kinda ironic.
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Re: The couch thread
"If you find the notion of having an aortic aneurysm and dying in a pool of vomit, blood and your own shit so foreign to you, then we don't want you in our ranks," couch said in a 2005 New York Times article.protobuilder wrote:Aortic aneurysm schmaneurysm. What her friend needs is some of Crassman's STFU therapy! Nature eschews aneurysms.CultBuster wrote:FB message to Coch Crassmen! I am conteplating a response, but will take suggestionsCrossFit Geneseo March 17 at 10:53am
You guys know a lot about lifting and all that stuff, and you're really funny most of the time, but your medical knowledge may not be the best.
An aortic aneurysm is a genetic condition that is rarely diagnosed before the tear occurs. It is nearly always fatal. The tear can occur at any time and was not related to the workout in any way. This woman is my friend and she is fighting for her life right now.
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Re: The couch thread
Boney Pudding has something to say to that:protobuilder wrote:Um, no. Wrong on both accounts. First, only you dumb motherfuckers do shit that is "constantly varied." The rest of the world knows better and has for a long time. Second, you need to have a talk with Couch. He once wrote that if he didn't invent something, neither did Beethoven, since all the notes already existed as did the exercises that make up Cultfit. It is the precise combination of exercises and reps/sets that makes Cultfit something unique, perfect even, according to Glasshat. That is what allows him to attempt to trademark/patent/whatever his silly brand of fitness fatale. I mean, I guess you could be right, and EVERYTHING is Crossfit...in which case the "Crossfit" label becomes meaningless and, more significantly, FREE to everyone. That would really make the paying affiliates look stupid, eh? Paying for the right to use a label that is meaningless.Justin Riley wrote:Also every athlete who has come into CrossFit competition and done well with little CF experience was training with "constantly varied functional movement executed at high intensity." They may not have even known it, but by definition, they were basically doing CrossFit. Performing CrossFit does not simply mean aimlessly following the main site,
The fitness industry has been around for a long time. People have been getting stronger, faster, and fitter using gymnastics, calisthenics, weightlifting, metabolic monostructural exercises, and various combinations thereof. If you think that's what CrossFit is, then you are correct, there is nothing new.
But that is not really what CrossFit is. The primary unique contribution CrossFit made has been this definition of fitness (increased work capacity across broad time and modal domains, which is not at all from Dynamax). I get that you don't understand the enormous benefit and implications of this definition. In your eyes, there is nothing new because that's what everyone always meant about when they say fitness.
That may be true today, at least within our community, but that didn't exist before CrossFit. People were not talking about measuring work capacity across broad time and modal domains. Some people were measuring work and power in limited domains specific to their sport, but that is different.
Why is this so significant? Because it is the benchmark around which everyone seeking elite fitness can operate and evaluate their progress. The debate about who is fittest has been around forever. Is the Tour de France winner fitter than the Welterweight Boxing Champion of the World? Before CrossFit's concise and measurable definition, there was no way to reconcile or test either claim.
Furthermore, demonstrating increased work capacity across broad time and modal domains in the gym really does translate into better real world fitness. This has made a tremendous difference for soldiers and first responders around the world, to name just two populations.
The second major contribution was the prescription for achieving the highest levels of fitness (constantly varied functional movements at high intensity). Again, we have seen people doing functional movements at high intensity for a very long time, but the identification of functional movements (as we define them - see articles in the CrossFit Journal for more information) as the primary vehicle by which fitness is achieved has enormous implications. Now everyone can avoid an entire category of movement (non-functional movements), making their fitness efforts that much more efficient and effective.
Combining functional movements specifically to maximize intensity (average power) was never established before CrossFit. People experimented with it in small areas, but this change in the breadth of scope of the experiment is unique and very substantial.
Again, you can look back and see these movements going on forever, and some of you are saying that means CrossFit isn't unique. But there is a huge difference between focused effort with a measurable goal and various types of experimentation. That difference has been improved fitness for the average fitness enthusiast, and the highest levels of elite fitness in history.
Now, we claim that the winners of the CrossFit Games are the fittest man and woman on the planet. There are many who dispute this claim, but as of yet, no one has directly challenged any of our winners. We would be more than willing to set up the competition (and, in fact, this year's Games are one example).
Furthermore, these CrossFit Games are the first of its kind. Just as MMA originally provided a forum for who would win, the boxer or the wrestler (or any martial artist for that matter), the CrossFit Games provide the first forum for any athlete of any background to compete in the sport of fitness. Of course, there is room for someone to say that our Games are actually not the best test of fitness, but then there would be an onus on them to provide a better one. I'm not saying it couldn't happen, but it hasn't happened yet.
The bottom line is that the refinements CrossFit has made in three areas: a concise and measurable definition of fitness, the prescription on how to achieve it, and a forum for how to evaluate it have made a unique and enormous difference in the industry.
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- Lord of the thighs
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Re: The couch thread
That fucker writes too much 

You're an ASS!syaigh wrote: The thought of eating that giant veiny monstrosity makes me want to barf.


Re: The couch thread
The best friend I ever had had an aortic dissection and rupture (subsequent to Marfan). He lived for 5 years after that with massive damage to his L ventricle. His thoracic surgeon said, with me in the room, "What happened to you was not survivable."chi wrote:by being an eleeeeeeete athlete obviouslyHoleyfraggaroley wrote:Holee shit! How do you tear an aorta and not die?
There's "elite" and then there's "hard to kill."
The flesh is weak, and the smell of pussy is strong like a muthafucka.
Re: The couch thread
God fucking damn it. I may have shit for brains but I provided exactly this over a year ago. Bitch about it if you want but please stop saying this.Budding wrote:Of course, there is room for someone to say that our Games are actually not the best test of fitness, but then there would be an onus on them to provide a better one. I'm not saying it couldn't happen, but it hasn't happened yet.
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- Sarge
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Re: The couch thread
Did broad domain mumbo jumbo skip this domain?boney pudding wrote:Now, we claim that the winners of the CrossFit Games are the fittest man and woman on the planet. There are many who dispute this claim, but as of yet, no one has directly challenged any of our winners. We would be more than willing to set up the competition (and, in fact, this year's Games are one example).
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Y0qmdUQQeE[/youtube]

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- Staff Sergeant
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Re: The couch thread
That's right! Modern day gladiators like @Fers never know when they might have to rescue their pals from under an overturned chariot.LiftHeavyShit wrote: Did broad domain mumbo jumbo skip this domain?
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Y0qmdUQQeE[/youtube]
Re: The couch thread
As the wheels come off, evidence mounts, and couch looks more and more incoherent, I am again intrigued by how @fit acts as a cult.
Bony looks sort of dazed in those chalkboard videos. Is there a point in one's ascent through the hierarchy at which Couch tells them the truth? And if so, what do they do? Leave? Find a new guru? Turn to drink? Or do they say "Man, what a racket" and stay on to suck at the teat?
I'm not so interested in what the @fitters think about having their asses kicked by non @fitters. That's easy, like when the Mothership doesn't descend at the prophesied time to take the believers away. They just find excuses and soldier on.
But what would happen if the Couch came clean publicly?
Bony looks sort of dazed in those chalkboard videos. Is there a point in one's ascent through the hierarchy at which Couch tells them the truth? And if so, what do they do? Leave? Find a new guru? Turn to drink? Or do they say "Man, what a racket" and stay on to suck at the teat?
I'm not so interested in what the @fitters think about having their asses kicked by non @fitters. That's easy, like when the Mothership doesn't descend at the prophesied time to take the believers away. They just find excuses and soldier on.
But what would happen if the Couch came clean publicly?
The flesh is weak, and the smell of pussy is strong like a muthafucka.
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- Pillowbiter
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Re: The couch thread
Bony Pudding seems to enjoy copy and pasting his comments.
That entire shit you guys read is located here:
http://games2010.crossfit.com/qualifier ... mment-3709
and here:
http://journal.crossfit.com/2010/01/jud ... mment-9998
Fucking moron must have that shit saved on his desktop to continue to hash and re-hash.
That entire shit you guys read is located here:
http://games2010.crossfit.com/qualifier ... mment-3709
and here:
http://journal.crossfit.com/2010/01/jud ... mment-9998
Fucking moron must have that shit saved on his desktop to continue to hash and re-hash.
I choose to kill people with kindness. Oh, I should also mention "kindness" is the name of my samurai sword.Jay wrote:BTW, warriors kill shit. The only things you kill are exercise science and the board short display at Target.
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- Pillowbiter
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Re: The couch thread
I tried to comment on that line from Bony, but it's being moderated. Fucking cowards.Botototo wrote:God fucking damn it. I may have shit for brains but I provided exactly this over a year ago. Bitch about it if you want but please stop saying this.Budding wrote:Of course, there is room for someone to say that our Games are actually not the best test of fitness, but then there would be an onus on them to provide a better one. I'm not saying it couldn't happen, but it hasn't happened yet.
I choose to kill people with kindness. Oh, I should also mention "kindness" is the name of my samurai sword.Jay wrote:BTW, warriors kill shit. The only things you kill are exercise science and the board short display at Target.
Re: The couch thread
Pudding should train more instead of standing in front of the chalkboard.He could even try to learn something about other ways of training besides fagfit.It was quite funny in one of the videos when he didn`t know what dogcrap was!
You`ll toughen up.Unless you have a serious medical condition commonly refered to as
"being a pussy".
"being a pussy".