Just in case any of you are getting married soon.

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Turdacious
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Just in case any of you are getting married soon.

Post by Turdacious »

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We've all seen Fatty's thread about when things go wrong, time for some classic advices.
"Liberalism is arbitrarily selective in its choice of whose dignity to champion." Adrian Vermeule

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syaigh
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Re: Just in case any of you are getting married soon.

Post by syaigh »

This can all be mitigated with some liberal application of alcoholism.
Miss Piggy wrote:Never eat more than you can lift.

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Re: Just in case any of you are getting married soon.

Post by Turdacious »

I think point three is the most appropriate in this case.
"Liberalism is arbitrarily selective in its choice of whose dignity to champion." Adrian Vermeule

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vern
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Re: Just in case any of you are getting married soon.

Post by vern »

I'll drink to this thread!

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Batboy2/75
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Re: Just in case any of you are getting married soon.

Post by Batboy2/75 »

Modern version, based on the sad sack stories the beta males cry about at work, i.e. Spells future.

(1) Don't have dinner ready. Call you husband at 4pm and complain about your day playing farmville and posting pics on facebook. Tell your husband you've already trundled down to the nearest fast food joint with your obese children and had an early dinner of processed chicken chunks, fries, and 60 oz sodas. Top it off by using the almost maxed credit card. If the card is maxed out, let the fat little pigs eat a random assortment of pop tarts, fruit roll ups, and or home made nachos. Most men are hungry at the end of the day, but you're a self absorbed cunt. Tell him he's on his own. What ever you do, don't tell him you side swiped a car in the McDs parking lot. Wait till he gets home to lay the good news on him. Or if you feel like having fun, claim you don't know how it got there. If you work, and you make more than your husband, well that's your fault princes. A successful batte ax doesn't marry low earning beta males, so balless, that can't support a family. Your job, if you choose to work, is to engage in consummerism and self fullfillment. The perfect job is one in which is revenue net zero. As in, if you add up extra costs of having a job, child care, and your out of controll spending; you bring no money into the family. Better yet, you cost the family money. In hort, fuck him and his dinner. It's all about you.

(2) wear a the same bath robe, PJs, or sweat pants you been wearing all day. You're a fat pig anyways, caught in a vicious cycle of low self esteem and bing eating. It's all his fault anyways, because he's not a multi-millionaire.

(3) The moment he opens the door start bitching. God knows your day of lounging around the house, facebook surfing, binge eating, non stop shopping,are more important than his job that supports the family. If you work, and you are doing this right, complain about your revenue nutral job doing nothing productive. Remember you're chick, and someone will always be there to clean up your messes. Your dad, the government or someone will clean up your mess. So feel free to sabotage his job and career.

(4) Don't clean the house or enforce any rules within the house for the kids. Remember those nachos, he'd really like to see them strune across the living room floor, while one of your ill mannered brats smears cheese on the sofa. If he complains, yell at him about how hard your day was and how you need a maid like all of your spoiled friends.

(5) remember them kids- let them trash the house. Bastard deserves to come home to chaos. If he made more money you could higher a maid to free up more time for shopping.

(6) Fuck that fire. Turn on the heater and the airconditioner at the same time and open every fuck door and window. Again, you deserve a maid, and Land Rover and a girls only vacation to vegas; where you will max out the credit cards and give a blow job to some randomguy that looks like a greesy bowling pin. All your friends will rambling on about how liberated you are.

(7) Fuck him and the children. No homework done, no real food in the house, toys and old food tossed all over the house. Hve one of the younger children greet him out in the street as your husband narrowly avoid hitting your little fat crumb cruncher. Announce you need some "Me" time when he gets home and drive off.

(8) Complain. complain, complain. You are the center of the universe. Who gives a shit about his job. Make sure you mention the maid. Don't mention the credit cards are maxed out.

(9) Be happy to see him, as you drive off to the mall.

(10) greet him with a complaint about not having a maid and he doesn't make as much money as your sisters husband.

(11) Your goal- make everything about you and run his sorry ass into the ground.

(12) Don't greet him with a smile and what ever you do, don't be sympathetic to his need. Did you mention the maid?

(13) If he is one minute late home. freak out and complain about how the kids are driving you crazy and you are leaving for some "Me" time.

(14) Don't make him comfortable. Don't have sex with him. That is if he is still interested in having sex with your double douce ass. Only have sex if it is used as a way to get what you want, i.e maid.

(15) If he sits fown to relax, start an argument. or complain about that not having a maid.

(16) Question every single decision he makes and run him down in front of the children. Don't worry, another man will be along soon to clean up your mess.

(17) A good wife treats her husband like a two legged mule, that doubles as a walking wallet, and kills spiders. Killing spiders is optional, but helpfull.
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Dunn
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Re: Just in case any of you are getting married soon.

Post by Dunn »

Batboy2/75 wrote:Modern version, based on the sad sack stories the beta males cry about at work, i.e. Spells future.

(1) Don't have dinner ready. Call you husband at 4pm and complain about your day playing farmville and posting pics on facebook. Tell your husband you've already trundled down to the nearest fast food joint with your obese children and had an early dinner of processed chicken chunks, fries, and 60 oz sodas. Top it off by using the almost maxed credit card. If the card is maxed out, let the fat little pigs eat a random assortment of pop tarts, fruit roll ups, and or home made nachos. Most men are hungry at the end of the day, but you're a self absorbed cunt. Tell him he's on his own. What ever you do, don't tell him you side swiped a car in the McDs parking lot. Wait till he gets home to lay the good news on him. Or if you feel like having fun, claim you don't know how it got there. If you work, and you make more than your husband, well that's your fault princes. A successful batte ax doesn't marry low earning beta males, so balless, that can't support a family. Your job, if you choose to work, is to engage in consummerism and self fullfillment. The perfect job is one in which is revenue net zero. As in, if you add up extra costs of having a job, child care, and your out of controll spending; you bring no money into the family. Better yet, you cost the family money. In hort, fuck him and his dinner. It's all about you.

(2) wear a the same bath robe, PJs, or sweat pants you been wearing all day. You're a fat pig anyways, caught in a vicious cycle of low self esteem and bing eating. It's all his fault anyways, because he's not a multi-millionaire.

(3) The moment he opens the door start bitching. God knows your day of lounging around the house, facebook surfing, binge eating, non stop shopping,are more important than his job that supports the family. If you work, and you are doing this right, complain about your revenue nutral job doing nothing productive. Remember you're chick, and someone will always be there to clean up your messes. Your dad, the government or someone will clean up your mess. So feel free to sabotage his job and career.

(4) Don't clean the house or enforce any rules within the house for the kids. Remember those nachos, he'd really like to see them strune across the living room floor, while one of your ill mannered brats smears cheese on the sofa. If he complains, yell at him about how hard your day was and how you need a maid like all of your spoiled friends.

(5) remember them kids- let them trash the house. Bastard deserves to come home to chaos. If he made more money you could higher a maid to free up more time for shopping.

(6) Fuck that fire. Turn on the heater and the airconditioner at the same time and open every fuck door and window. Again, you deserve a maid, and Land Rover and a girls only vacation to vegas; where you will max out the credit cards and give a blow job to some randomguy that looks like a greesy bowling pin. All your friends will rambling on about how liberated you are.

(7) Fuck him and the children. No homework done, no real food in the house, toys and old food tossed all over the house. Hve one of the younger children greet him out in the street as your husband narrowly avoid hitting your little fat crumb cruncher. Announce you need some "Me" time when he gets home and drive off.

(8) Complain. complain, complain. You are the center of the universe. Who gives a shit about his job. Make sure you mention the maid. Don't mention the credit cards are maxed out.

(9) Be happy to see him, as you drive off to the mall.

(10) greet him with a complaint about not having a maid and he doesn't make as much money as your sisters husband.

(11) Your goal- make everything about you and run his sorry ass into the ground.

(12) Don't greet him with a smile and what ever you do, don't be sympathetic to his need. Did you mention the maid?

(13) If he is one minute late home. freak out and complain about how the kids are driving you crazy and you are leaving for some "Me" time.

(14) Don't make him comfortable. Don't have sex with him. That is if he is still interested in having sex with your double douce ass. Only have sex if it is used as a way to get what you want, i.e maid.

(15) If he sits fown to relax, start an argument. or complain about that not having a maid.

(16) Question every single decision he makes and run him down in front of the children. Don't worry, another man will be along soon to clean up your mess.

(17) A good wife treats her husband like a two legged mule, that doubles as a walking wallet, and kills spiders. Killing spiders is optional, but helpfull.
Gotdamn.......

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Re: Just in case any of you are getting married soon.

Post by Holland Oates »

Dunn wrote: Gotdamn.......
Yep


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Re: Just in case any of you are getting married soon.

Post by The Ginger Beard Man »

Ed Zachary wrote:
Dunn wrote: Gotdamn.......
Yep
That's cause for one of those murder/suicide scenarios there.
Blaidd Drwg wrote:Disengage from the outcome and do work.
Jezzy Bell wrote:Use a fucking barbell, pansy.


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Re: Just in case any of you are getting married soon.

Post by Thatcher II »

#-o
Batboy2/75 wrote:Modern version, based on the sad sack stories the beta males cry about at work, i.e. Spells future.

(1) Don't have dinner ready. Call you husband at 4pm and complain about your day playing farmville and posting pics on facebook. Tell your husband you've already trundled down to the nearest fast food joint with your obese children and had an early dinner of processed chicken chunks, fries, and 60 oz sodas. Top it off by using the almost maxed credit card. If the card is maxed out, let the fat little pigs eat a random assortment of pop tarts, fruit roll ups, and or home made nachos. Most men are hungry at the end of the day, but you're a self absorbed cunt. Tell him he's on his own. What ever you do, don't tell him you side swiped a car in the McDs parking lot. Wait till he gets home to lay the good news on him. Or if you feel like having fun, claim you don't know how it got there. If you work, and you make more than your husband, well that's your fault princes. A successful batte ax doesn't marry low earning beta males, so balless, that can't support a family. Your job, if you choose to work, is to engage in consummerism and self fullfillment. The perfect job is one in which is revenue net zero. As in, if you add up extra costs of having a job, child care, and your out of controll spending; you bring no money into the family. Better yet, you cost the family money. In hort, fuck him and his dinner. It's all about you.

(2) wear a the same bath ro =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> #-o be, PJs, or sweat pants you been wearing all day. You're a fat pig anyways, caught in a vicious cycle of low self esteem and bing eating. It's all his fault anyways, because he's not a multi-millionaire.

(3) The moment he opens the door start bitching. God knows your day of lounging around the house, facebook surfing, binge eating, non stop shopping,are more important than his job that supports the family. If you work, and you are doing this right, complain about your revenue nutral job doing nothing productive. Remember you're chick, and someone will always be there to clean up your messes. Your dad, the government or someone will clean up your mess. So feel free to sabotage his job and career.

(4) Don't clean the house or enforce any rules within the house for the kids. Remember those nachos, he'd really like to see them strune across the living room floor, while one of your ill mannered brats smears cheese on the sofa. If he complains, yell at him about how hard your day was and how you need a maid like all of your spoiled friends.

(5) remember them kids- let them trash the house. Bastard deserves to come home to chaos. If he made more money you could higher a maid to free up more time for shopping.

(6) Fuck that fire. Turn on the heater and the airconditioner at the same time and open every fuck door and window. Again, you deserve a maid, and Land Rover and a girls only vacation to vegas; where you will max out the credit cards and give a blow job to some randomguy that looks like a greesy bowling pin. All your friends will rambling on about how liberated you are.

(7) Fuck him and the children. No homework done, no real food in the house, toys and old food tossed all over the house. Hve one of the younger children greet him out in the street as your husband narrowly avoid hitting your little fat crumb cruncher. Announce you need some "Me" time when he gets home and drive off.

(8) Complain. complain, complain. You are the center of the universe. Who gives a shit about his job. Make sure you mention the maid. Don't mention the credit cards are maxed out.

(9) Be happy to see him, as you drive off to the mall.

(10) greet him with a complaint about not having a maid and he doesn't make as much money as your sisters husband.

(11) Your goal- make everything about you and run his sorry ass into the ground.

(12) Don't greet him with a smile and what ever you do, don't be sympathetic to his need. Did you mention the maid?

(13) If he is one minute late home. freak out and complain about how the kids are driving you crazy and you are leaving for some "Me" time.

(14) Don't make him comfortable. Don't have sex with him. That is if he is still interested in having sex with your double douce ass. Only have sex if it is used as a way to get what you want, i.e maid.

(15) If he sits fown to relax, start an argument. or complain about that not having a maid.

(16) Question every single decision he makes and run him down in front of the children. Don't worry, another man will be along soon to clean up your mess.

(17) A good wife treats her husband like a two legged mule, that doubles as a walking wallet, and kills spiders. Killing spiders is optional, but helpfull.
Quality. #-o =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> #-o
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Re: Just in case any of you are getting married soon.

Post by DikTracy6000 »

Turdacious wrote:Image

We've all seen Fatty's thread about when things go wrong, time for some classic advices.
Put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking...my favorite part.

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Re: Just in case any of you are getting married soon.

Post by clutch »

Roses are red,
The sunset is gold.
Get on your knees, slut,
and do as your told.

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Re: Just in case any of you are getting married soon.

Post by Turdacious »

"Liberalism is arbitrarily selective in its choice of whose dignity to champion." Adrian Vermeule

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