Recommend some self-help/self-improvement books?

milosz · Post by **milosz** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 7:46 am

I'm generally a terrible cynic/skeptic when it comes to self-help/self-improvement. I might be right to be, but for 2015 I want to read a steady stream of them and try to keep an open mind.

Two I've gotten so far - How To Win Friends and Influence People and The Power of Habit. I also have Josh Waitzkin's book on audiobook, but it seems to be more autobiography than useful info. Not explicitly self-help but I also bought The Book of Five Rings and the Art of War.

Thought about getting the, uh, 38 Laws of Power but I'm put off by Wall Street/Gordon Gekko ubermensch shit, which is my impression of that one.

I don't really have any emotional problems - I'm getting laid, lots of friends, no depression to speak of.
I own a small business.
Weaknesses are probably a bit of laziness and lack of focus.

I'm kind of broad with self-help - books on Zen/meditation/etc., business practices, instruction in various worlds, etc..

Cayenne · Post by **Cayenne** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 11:04 am

David Reynolds various writings on Constructive Living.

KingSchmaltzBagelHour · Sun Jan 04, 2015 12:46 pm

I've recommened this before...I like it.
http://www.amazon.com/Art-Living-Classi ... 0061286052

I started Sam Harris' new one, "Waking Up", and it sounds like it's what you're looking for.

dead man walking · Post by **dead man walking** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 3:40 pm

daniel kahnemann, thinking, fast and slow

not a self-help book, but it's a window into thinking, intuition v reason, the vast amount of bias that passes for thought.

buckethead · Post by **buckethead** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 5:15 pm

I highly recommend The Antidote (http://irongarmx.net/phpBB2/viewtopic.p ... 0&p=796018)

From there, you'll get ideas on what you really want to read more about

Bud Charniga's grape ape · Sun Jan 04, 2015 5:41 pm

milosz wrote:
I'm kind of broad with self-help - books on Zen/meditation/etc.,

I can offer a little help here --

Some authors in the Theravada tradition, not Zen, but you could check out Jack Kornfield, Sharon Salzberg, or Tara Brach. Their books tend to be fairly self-helpy in the western style. They each have a bunch of books on applying mindfulness practice to different aspects of your life, and they're all pretty good. They're all reputable teachers and they all write for the western audience specifically.

I know that you said that you're not dealing with depression or any issues like that, but Jon Kabatt-Zinn's "Full Catastrophe Living" started the Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction movement and is still the classic.

Zen teachers tend not to write in the standard self help style. The only one I can think of off the top of my head with books like that is the Vietnamese Zen teacher Thich Nhat Hanh. He has, god, about a million books. Some are serious exigeses on Buddhist sutras, some are texts on modern "engaged Buddhism," but a lot are short little pamphlet style books that offer simple daily practices. The best known there is called "Peace is Every Step."

Other Western Zen teachers tend to be more scholarly than self-helpy and may not be what you're looking for. The classic American Zen text is Shunryu Suzuki's "Zen Mind Beginner's Mind," and I feel like I'm supposed to rep that one since Suzuki was the founder of the lineage i practice in, but honestly I feel like it's not the best introduction to American Zen. I'd probably lean more towards "The Art of Just Sitting" by John Daido Loori, or "Opening the Hand of Thought" by Kosho Uchiyama.

edit: though honestly if it's meditation practice you're after, find a local meditation group and just go. Zen, Theravada, Tibetan, secular...style doesn't really matter as much as just doing it.

DrDonkeyLove · Post by **DrDonkeyLove** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 7:33 pm

If you count timeless wisdom as part of self-improvement......
The Essential Marcus Aurelius
Chapters are very short and many offer you a lot to contemplate.

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 8:02 pm

Victor Frankl, Napoleon Hill, Earl Nightingale, Brian Tracy, and Zig Ziglar all wrote good stuff too. They're generally short-- read lots, or listen on audiobook, and do what makes sense for you. Your local library should have quite a bit of stuff by any of the more famous self help authors.

There are also some good podcasts out there.

Hebrew Hammer · Post by **Hebrew Hammer** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 8:50 pm

Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Covey. Do all the exercises in the book. I've had a mission statement and goals, adjusted annually, since 1990. Life-changing tool. Self-help combined with purpose. Master his listening habit.

Give and Take, Adam Grant. How to be a giver, not get stepped on, and win too.

Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, Stone. Success requires dealing with others. This book gives extraordinary insights into personal and business discussions and into negotiation. If you're a good negotiator, this will help make you great.

TomFurman · Post by **TomFurman** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 8:52 pm

The diversity of suggestions makes this thread quite interesting. It delivers.

Kazuya Mishima · Post by **Kazuya Mishima** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 9:44 pm

'The 1% Solution' is surprisingly good.

DrDonkeyLove · Post by **DrDonkeyLove** » Sun Jan 04, 2015 11:46 pm

Hebrew Hammer wrote:Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most, Stone. Success requires dealing with others. This book gives extraordinary insights into personal and business discussions and into negotiation. If you're a good negotiator, this will help make you great.

+2 on this book. When you need to have a tough conversation but want to protect the relationship, this is a great book.

Regarding negotiation, very simple logical advice here. Really just a few simple guidelines.

The Venerable Bogatir X · Sun Jan 04, 2015 11:52 pm

Constructive Living
The 48 Laws of Power
The Question Behind the Question
The One Thing
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
How to Talk to Anyone

Protobuilder · Post by **Protobuilder** » Mon Jan 05, 2015 2:20 am

Most of the classic books have tons of good ideas though you really need to take the time to think through them and do the exercises that are listed.

Constructive Living, which has been suggested, is, far and away, the best book that I have ever read in this genre. If it were this book or the next five greatest books combined, I would select this.
Pick up something by Thich Nhat Hanh - The Miracle of Mindfulness or Peace is Every Step are good to start with.
The Power of Habit, which you have, is good. If you like that, Willpower by Kelly McGonigal.
The War of Art by Steven Pressfield is a favorite of mine. I like his follow-up book, whose name I am forgetting, as well but Art is better.
Tony Robbins is probably cliche but he has a ton of good ideas.
Something by Dale Carnegie.
I didn't really like 7 Habits but Getting Things Done changed the way that I work. I think that people generally like one book or the other.
Victor Frankl's book is a quick read full of good stuff.
Brian Tracy is a guy that gets repetitive but if you are reading for an entire year, I would toss him in - perhaps Eat That Frog.

tough old man · Post by **tough old man** » Mon Jan 05, 2015 4:11 am

Grant Cardone - If youre not first, youre last.

milosz · Post by **milosz** » Mon Jan 05, 2015 4:43 am

These are all great and getting added to the list. Definitely yes on the expansion to Stoicism - forgot to mention that Seneca is already on the Kindle.

The Venerable Bogatir X · Mon Jan 05, 2015 4:53 am

Pressfield's other book Phadreus is talking about is "Do the Work", which is worth the read.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Mon Jan 05, 2015 8:16 am

Constructive living hands down.

48 laws of power, the Hagakure, Seneca's meditations on the shortness of life,

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Mon Jan 05, 2015 5:32 pm

www.yuku/bruvworld.com

Grandpa's Spells · Post by **Grandpa's Spells** » Mon Jan 05, 2015 5:36 pm

The Stuart Diamond book on negotiation is superb and just a good book from a "Gee, this saved me $1,000's of dollars" perspective.

I don't think books are a great teaching method for behavior change, if changing behaviors is ultimately what you're looking for.

I do think BJ Fogg's stuff (no self-help guru, runs a lab at Stanford on the subject) on behavior modification is pretty cool. No book, but the method is available online.

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Tue Jan 06, 2015 2:01 am

Drive
Rise

lasalle · Post by **lasalle** » Tue Jan 06, 2015 3:44 am

10% Happier (How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works--A True Story) by Dan Harris was surprisingly good. Punchline is that he learns to meditate and sees that it has positive benefits. I took up meditation after reading it. Worth a try.

As noted above, both Zig Ziglar and Tony Robbins are pretty good. I listened to them as audio books pretty heavily while commuting to a job I hated. They are great at getting you fired up, but it's a very temporary boost.

Protobuilder · Post by **Protobuilder** » Tue Jan 06, 2015 4:23 am

The Venerable Bogatir X wrote:Pressfield's other book Phadreus is talking about is "Do the Work", which is worth the read.

Yes, that's it. The idea of resistance was introduced in Art but both are good.

Seneca was a good suggestion.

Sangoma · Post by **Sangoma** » Tue Jan 06, 2015 7:55 am

Oliver Burkeman. The Antidote: Happiness for people who can't stand positive thinking.

Robert Ringer. Million Dollar Habits.

Pinky · Post by **Pinky** » Tue Jan 06, 2015 8:28 pm

Phaedrus wrote:Constructive Living, which has been suggested, is, far and away, the best book that I have ever read in this genre. If it were this book or the next five greatest books combined, I would select this.

I agree with everything everyone's said about this book.

You can also find translations of Epictetus for free online.

Recommend some self-help/self-improvement books?

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