IGX

To all of your mothers, and the few of us who are mothers, and to the mothers of your children.

But not to those of you who like dressing up like your mothers and doing weird shit in the garage when no one's looking. You know who you are.

Mother's Day...

My mother loves the holiday and should I forget about said holiday or not provide a gift of sufficient stature it is likely to generate a guilt trip that will last until next Mother's Day.

My wife, the mother of my child, absolutely positively hates the holiday. Each year my wife says something to the effect of "Mother's Day is a Hallmark-invented holiday meant to help the economy and is only valued by those mentally weak mothers who need validation."

Thus I exist in a bizarro world between my needy mother and my elitist dick wife.



-Stan

Thank Allah for Amazon.com overnight shipping. Hope my mom likes it.

My kids just finished massacring mom's fried egg sandwich. All is right with the world.

Happy Mothers Day to all the mom's out there.

Interestingly, the person that started Mothers went on to hate what it had become.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/0 ... d%3D474695

The founder of Mother's Day wouldn't have wanted you to buy those flowers for mom. Or that card. Or those chocolates. In all likelihood, she wouldn't have wanted you to celebrate the holiday at all.

The fact that we will collectively spend nearly $20 billion on moms this year probably would have caused Anna Jarvis, the founder of Mother's Day, to throw her lunch on the floor like she reportedly did in the early 1900s, when she found out that a department store in Philadelphia was offering a Mother's Day special, according to Mental Floss.

Fuck her. She's just mad that I got to go out to brunch and get to lay on the couch all day.

Lots of hand wringing going on in the social media today about this day. Bunch of self-centered assholes. I only became a mother because I failed to raise my own unholy army of the undead so decided to start making live ones. Soon.

Hope all you moms out there enjoy your day.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehB1jSqMlKQ[/youtube]

syaigh wrote:Fuck her. She's just mad that I got to go out to brunch and get to lay on the couch all day.

Lots of hand wringing going on in the social media today about this day. Bunch of self-centered assholes. I only became a mother because I failed to raise my own unholy army of the undead so decided to start making live ones. Soon.

Just when I think I couldn't like you any more, you say shit like this. Well done.

Happy Mother's day to all the moms out there!