Hebrew Hammer

[Andy83]

Nope. I need another case of that Tony Packo's famous hot dog sauce!! You haven't sent me anything in years!
I alread have one of those clappers. It not only turns the lights on and off clapping but whenever there's any sound in the room. On offononofonoffonoff... makes me crazier.

[Hebrew Hammer]

That hot dog sauce isn't cheap, and the shipping just adds to the pain. How about my peace-offering be a round-trip bus ticket on one of those blue-hair senior bus trips to an Indian casino? I hear that, even for guys like you, getting bus action is liking shooting fish in a barrel. You could save up your monthly happy pill for the bus trip home. I'd also throw in a box of chanukah candles. But I need the tribute to buy peace or no deal.

[Andy83]

Nice try but my place of residence has it's own bus with a volunteer driver that takes us to casinos, etc. all the time.
Typical Jew type offer. Ha Ha....decline.

[Hebrew Hammer]

Andy,

My people know a thing or two about negotiation. e.g.,Genesis 18:16-33. I offered you a clapper; you declined. I offered the bus trip; you declined. You've drawn the line at the Tony Packo's hot dog sauce, a pricy item itself, but cost-prohibitive with the added shipping cost.

So let's change the deal: trial by combat. Since you're old, wheelchair bound, suffering from the onset of dementia, and in a nursing home, it wouldn't be much of a contest between us, and it would ruin forever my hopes one day of running for high national office. So we'll pick champions to represent us.

I pick the Furmanator. I doubt you'll find someone to step into the ring with him. His martial arts pedigree stretches back to Genghis Khan or something like that. To prepare for battle, he does a headstand on a bed of nails while meditating on the well known film, Double-D Debbie does Dallas and Detroit. He will slice any opponent into pieces as a sushi chef does with a slab of tuna.

[Andy83]

That would be a huge conflict of interest. Furman has been on my payroll for many years. Try again.

[Bob Wildes]

You two need to get a room.

[Hebrew Hammer]

All right. I choose Mario, who has personal and professional relationships with my people. Also, he inflicts the ultimate man-shame on defeated opponents. If you don't understand my reference, think of your happiest memories in the Navy.

[Andy83]

The happiest memories I ave being in the Navy are killing gooks. Mario might be a Jew lover but he doesn't have to fight them. Jews are lemmings and just bend over when being rounded up. So what's your point?