Micheal Bay is a piece of shit.

[Blaidd Drwg]

Exhibit 329.


Observe the trailer for another dark buddy film..



Read the true story behind it. Grisly and fascinating. Welles, Hitchcock, Kubrick or Scorsese could have made this into movie.

http://www.miaminewtimes.com/1999-12-23/news/pain-gain/

[Turdacious]

Can't be too bad-- has camping in it.

[vern]

[Pinky]

The real story didn't have enough explosions in it. Michael Bay will fix that.

[Shapecharge]

Holy fuck, I could not stop reading that story. If I were the PI that originally took the case and presented it to the police...it would be hard not to go on a personal fucking hunt for the heads of those police officials who blew him off. I wonder if there would be grounds for some type of lawsuit by the families of the murdered couple against the City of Maimi for some type of wrongdoing.

[Blaidd Drwg]

Those cops in the Robbery div have got to feel like colossal pieces of shit...That's the sort of thing that would have you drinking yourself to death.

[vern]

Great article, thanks for posting.

[tzg]

The surprise twist at the end made me feel very bad.

[WildGorillaMan]

What a strange, sordid tale.

[DrDonkeyLove]

Miami has some kind of powerful magnetic attraction to rich people, artists, and ultra shitbags.

[Cayenne]

How about someone posts a spoiler for how the linked article / story ends. I just started Part II (victim just escaped to NY, crooks living in his stolen home,) and just don't have the time to read the rest of Part II and then Part III to find out.

[Blaidd Drwg]

How about someone posts a spoiler for how the linked article / story ends. I just started Part II (victim just escaped to NY, crooks living in his stolen home,) and just don't have the time to read the rest of Part II and then Part III to find out.

Marky Mark takes his shirt off....

then this..

They unloaded the corpses onto Hefty bags spread out on the warehouse floor. Krisztina was stiff with rigor mortis, and Lugo used scissors to cut away her red leather miniskirt and vest. They removed Griga's clothes, except for his underwear and the ninja hood that covered the gaping wound on his crushed skull. Lugo sprayed both bodies with Windex, then scrubbed them clean with the heavy-duty towels to remove any fingerprints.

The fans were blowing, the warehouse television was on, everything was just right. But no one could put together the chain saw. They took turns going over the instruction manual, and finally assembled the tool. But when they cranked it up, it seized and stalled. They'd neglected to fill its small reservoir with motor oil! Delgado went out to buy some, as well as snacks at a Subway, but even when he returned with the oil, the chain saw still wouldn't start. Somehow they'd burned out the engine trying to start it.

[Shapecharge]

How about someone posts a spoiler for how the linked article / story ends. I just started Part II (victim just escaped to NY, crooks living in his stolen home,) and just don't have the time to read the rest of Part II and then Part III to find out.

You need to just find the time. The story is just too fucking insane to bullet-point it for you.

[Shapecharge]

My monthlies must be kicking in early. If this story is turned into some buddy comedy I'd be fucking livid if I were anyone involved in the actual mess these fuckheads created. So then there's fucking Hollywood types making money off the tragedy and not even telling the story right? I'd be wanting to take a baseball bat to some shit.

[DrDonkeyLove]

My monthlies must be kicking in early. If this story is turned into some buddy comedy I'd be fucking livid if I were anyone involved in the actual mess these fuckheads created. So then there's fucking Hollywood types making money off the tragedy and not even telling the story right? I'd be wanting to take a baseball bat to some shit.

That's the beauty of it, victim #1 is also a shitbag and victims #2&3 are foreigners w/no local family. This can be a great dark hapless criminal buddy comedy without repercussions to the box office take.

Think of the chuckles that will be elicited throughout the theater when the chainsaw doesn't work in the dismemberment scene, Marky Mark will be in a panic while The Rock comically raises the People's Eyebrow. It'll be a hoot

I think BD titled this thread perfectly and while I oppose the death penalty on the grounds that I don't trust the gov't to get it right every time, I would love for one of these bastards to be fried in Ol' Sparky on the night of the premiere. By these bastards I mean the main perpetrators or Michael Bay.

[tzg]

The ending: Schiller escapes, gets a PI. The PI talks to the cops, the cops fly Schiller in, they don't believe Schiller. The gang targets a new guy. They botch the thing and end up killing the new guy and his girlfriend without getting anything and after introducing themselves to half a dozen of the guy's friends. There's a comedy of errors as they try to dispose of the bodies. They get caught because of all those witnesses (the girlfriend is identified by her breast implants, the first time this ever happened (or maybe a first in Florida)). The police fly in Schiller again because now they believe him. Two of the gang get sentenced to death.

SURPRISE ENDING: As Schiller leaves the courthouse after testifying at the sentencing, he gets arrested by the FBI for Medicare fraud. This was the FBI's only interest in the case (oh, yeah, at some point the FBI got involved). The judge from the murder case testified in Schiller's favor because he felt sorry for the poor guy, having been tortured and all. Schiller got the minimum possible sentence.

[Shapecharge]

Sadly you'll never see that kind of reporting in mainstream daily newspapers. They won't devote the time or the space to such a story and would likely cave into the demands of various involved parties not to print the story. I wandered around on that site and read a couple of other stories too. I giggled at their "vote for the worst cop in Miami" poll. Miami sounds like a really fucked up town...but hey the one I live in isn't any better. Dallas County leads the nation in wrongful convictions but that may be misleading since they warehoused evidence that could be later DNA tested. Other cities/counties not so much.

[tzg]

It's like 50 printed pages - it doesn't belong in a daily newspaper, it belongs in a periodical news magazine. Daily news is for ephemera.

[baffled]

Sadly you'll never see that kind of reporting in mainstream daily newspapers. They won't devote the time or the space to such a story and would likely cave into the demands of various involved parties not to print the story. I wandered around on that site and read a couple of other stories too. I giggled at their "vote for the worst cop in Miami" poll. Miami sounds like a really fucked up town...but hey the one I live in isn't any better. Dallas County leads the nation in wrongful convictions but that may be misleading since they warehoused evidence that could be later DNA tested. Other cities/counties not so much.

I recently saw someone say something like: "Instead of thinking about Miami as a really shitty American city, think of it as the most awesome 3rd world city you've ever been to."

[Thatcher II]

Exhibit 329.


Observe the trailer for another dark buddy film..



Read the true story behind it. Grisly and fascinating. Welles, Hitchcock, Kubrick or Scorsese could have made this into movie.

http://www.miaminewtimes.com/1999-12-23/news/pain-gain/

I really enjoyed that read, BD. Thanks. I also share your horrified anger at the shitty buddy movie trailer with Marky Mark. Fucking insult to the facts and victims.

[DARTH]

A common bumper sticker when I lived in So Flo was "Will the last American to leave Miami please bring the flag."