A question for the Hebrew Hamster...

[Shapecharge]

Well, maybe it's more of an accusation than a question. I want to know why your "people" tried to indoctrinate me and my fellow classmates into your cult during my middle school years. Why was I forced to sing Hava Nagila in Yiddish or whatever the fuck language it is sung in and (heavy sob!) why was I FORCED to dance some crazy dance that goes along with it? And I had to suffer though this indignity at least once a week or so with the added insult of there being no one within a hundred miles even remotely being Jewish! I have been carrying this pain and embarrassment for years! I'm having night sweats, bad dreams, and I'm biting my nails, fingering my asshole (maybe unrelated) and drinking heavily. I need counseling and compensation.

[Hebrew Hammer]

While I have suspected this may have happened to Kaz, Kraj, and Fatty, it comes as a surprise that you too suffered this fate. Tell me more as it doesn't quite add up yet. Were these the folks who inflicted this on you?



The great man who introduced the song to America:



And a snappier version:

[Fat Cat]

On the contrary, I have only ever had positive relations with Jews I have known.

[Shapecharge]

Aww fuck. Although the events really did happen I wasn't really tramatized. I was just tryin' to find a way to scam some cash. I'm sorry. Plus I feel guilty after reading that story about the Jewish Olympic weightlifter in Sports Illustrated this morning.

[Pinky]

I was just tryin' to find a way to scam some cash.

Now you're speaking his language.