The couch thread

[Gary]

"WildGorillaGirl"?

Holy fuck. I think even the girls of XFit would rather look at the girls.

The ladies are not the key demographic. Although they're the ones asking for big sweaty 70s Big looking dudes, so pony up some pics brah. I promise that I won't enjoy them.

This. The sub 200lb shaved guys, not so much. You need some Gregor Edmunds looking men.

:(

[JohnnyBadAss]

:(

Are you upset about the sub-200 part or the shaved part? The sub-200 is okay if you don't have a need to carry more weight or it's detrimental to your sport. But the shaving isn't. If you're not prancing around on stage in your underpants, by god, leave the hair on to show everyone that you're actually a man.

[RPC]

Jeebus. Eva T is looking as gristly as eva...

[Turdacious]

Auto-complete doesn't think much of Couch.

=D> =D> =D> =D>

[Turdacious]

Couch quote from interview:

It is our work with military special op's teams and police that has won our hearts and for which we are most proud. To get emailed testimonials from soldiers returning from Afghanistan who've been awarded Silver Stars Nominations, Bronze Stars with "V" devices, Bronze Stars, Joint Service Commendations Medals with "V" devices, ARCOMS, Air Force Commendation Medals, and CIB's and Overseas Bars due to their "high levels of physical fitness in preparation for the conduct of combat" is, for me, an honor I will never forget

http://www.powerathletesmag.com/archive ... assman.htm



Silver Star nomination for 'high level of physical fitness?'

[Crust Bucket]

Oh yeah 135lb squats and PVC pipe snatches make you a bad ass in battle.

[Gary]

:(

Are you upset about the sub-200 part or the shaved part? The sub-200 is okay if you don't have a need to carry more weight or it's detrimental to your sport. But the shaving isn't. If you're not prancing around on stage in your underpants, by god, leave the hair on to show everyone that you're actually a man.

Mostly about the sub-200. Mostly.

[DVD Pimp]

Oh yeah 135lb squats and PVC pipe snatches make you a bad ass in battle.

That's how I got all my medals. I'd tell you more, but... classified black ops. You know how it is.

[Gary John]

Everybody gets the whatever service accomendation medal, with a V, in a combat zone, with a combat MOS.

Nomination for a medal? What the fuck is that?

[sanchezero]

'i was just gonna get a plain old bronze star for my participation in OEF VI, but by pushing my PT numbers into the extended scale i was deemed worthy of the coveted V device.'



it's like these guys go out of their way to be extra stupid.


and for the civvie types - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Valor_device

[Hank Scorpio]

Just came across this, must've been outed by Wikileeks:

For exceptionally meritorious service while assigned as a Platoon Leader for the 1837th Transportation Company in support of Iraqi Freedom during the most hostile period of the conflict. SSG Hugh G. Rection's outstanding physical fitness, sub-3:00 Fran time, and unwavering commitment to @fitting 3 on 1 off in a hostile environment were vital to successful combat operations in Iraq. His contributions and dedication to duty are in keeping with the finest traditions of the army and reflect great credit upon himself, 3rd Corps Support Command, and the United States Army.

[powerlifter54]

Silver Star nomination for 'high level of physical fitness?'

You can do that riding a desk at any AFB INCONUS if you are in the right @fit lunch workout crowd.

[Sua Sponte]

[quote=It is our work with military special op's teams and police that has won our hearts and for which we are most proud. To get emailed testimonials from soldiers returning from Afghanistan who've been awarded Silver Stars Nominations, Bronze Stars with "V" devices, Bronze Stars, Joint Service Commendations Medals with "V" devices, ARCOMS, Air Force Commendation Medals, and CIB's and Overseas Bars due to their "high levels of physical fitness in preparation for the conduct of combat" is, for me, an honor I will never forget[/quote]

OK, can't let this pass. For those not in the know, a "V" device indicates valor and it's award doesn't have anything to do with physical fitness performance. It is used on those medals that can also be awarded for achievement (the bronze star, for instance). The silver star can only be earned for valor, not PT. The combat infantryman's badge (CIB) is awared to any 11 series MOS serving in combat, not PT.

I guess in principle one could get an acheesement medal for PT but I can't imagine the guy wouldn't get laughed into humiliation for it.

[CultBuster]

It may intuit well that if you can pull a 250 pound deadlift 21 times coming to the lift at a heart rate of 180 beats per minute, then 500 pounds for a single at a resting heart rate is perhaps manageable

Still one of the top 10 dumbest things he says. I can lift 250lbs all fucking dat, with a mouse, in a house, with agoat on a boat and I can not lift 500. Idiotic

[powerlifter54]

It may intuit well that if you can pull a 250 pound deadlift 21 times coming to the lift at a heart rate of 180 beats per minute, then 500 pounds for a single at a resting heart rate is perhaps manageable

Still one of the top 10 dumbest things he says. I can lift 250lbs all fucking dat, with a mouse, in a house, with agoat on a boat and I can not lift 500. Idiotic

i pulled 315 100+ times in 30 minutes and my DL went down. But then i am a weak underperformer.

[kreator]

It may intuit well that if you can pull a 250 pound deadlift 21 times coming to the lift at a heart rate of 180 beats per minute, then 500 pounds for a single at a resting heart rate is perhaps manageable

Still one of the top 10 dumbest things he says. I can lift 250lbs all fucking dat, with a mouse, in a house, with agoat on a boat and I can not lift 500. Idiotic

Yeah, agreed. Maybe the number #3 dumbest thing. Not sure if it's because of the word "intuit" or because of the fact that it's flat out wrong.

I think #2 would have to be from that same interview:

But here's the fascinating part. We can take you from a 200 pound max deadlift to a 500-750 pound max deadlift in two years while only pulling max singles four or five times a year.

And #1 would have to be that we do your stuff better than you do quote, whatever it is.

[CFB]

And #1 would have to be that we do your stuff better than you do quote, whatever it is.

Ya, the "we're better than you at everything" shit takes the cake, but there was one quote that had me laughing so hard a little bit of pee came out...it was where he slams arthur jones/nautilus then states something to the tune of the commercial fitness industry turns out trainers in a weekend.

[syaigh]

Oh, but the hilarity goes on and on.

I read this article, and I swear it was an exact blow by blow of my cert. Including this part that made me choke on my almonds.

As luck would have it, the first order of business was to discuss strength vs. technique. Pat Sherwood, our instructor, began with a CrossFit riddle:

If an athlete gets pinned under 225 pounds in the bench press, but three months later can successfully press 225, did he get stronger?

Collective nods.

If the same athlete fails at performing a muscle-up (an extended pull-up in which you finish with your arms straight), and three months later is successful, did he get stronger?

A few head nods, but also some disagreement. I joined the dissenters. "That could be just improved technique, through practice and repetition," I said.

According to CrossFit, I was wrong. "The athlete is stronger because in CrossFit, strength is the productive application of force," Sherwood explained.

Technique be damned?

"Unsafe is unacceptable," Sherwood said. "But perfect form is also unacceptable. What we look for is CrossFit slop."

If you're doing a high-rep, high-effort set of cleans, and your back starts to round, that's unsafe and therefore unacceptable. But if you're doing that same set of cleans with textbook-perfect form on every rep, that's also unacceptable. You've either chosen too light a weight, or you're not working hard enough.

The sloppy ideal is a small breakdown in technical form, maybe 20 percent off from perfect. In CrossFit, that's the optimal balance of effort and safety. "That's where the intensity is," Sherwood said.

So, technique and coordination count as strength and poor efficiency gets you more intensity. Forest Gump must have had some serious intensity when running. Maybe he would be a better running coach than all that Pose method that would supposedly make you more efficient and mess with your intensity.

And its not just here, its in the "What is fitness" journal article as well where they basically say that they were better at interpreting Seiler's work than Seiler and found that by NOT improving efficiency, more energy would be utilized during the workout. Of course, they don't do real interval training, that would require rest periods and sustained intensity for more than 30 minutes.

And, despite what they say, I can't think of a more direct contradiction to what Dr. Seiler's work actually shows.

One of the best Internet resources on interval training comes from Dr. Stephen Seiler (http://home.hia.no/~stephens/interval.htm). This article on interval training and another on the time course of training adaptations (http://home.hia.no/~stephens/timecors.htm) contain the seeds of CrossFit’s heavy reliance on interval training. The article on the time course of training adaptations explains that there are three waves of adaptation to endurance training. The first wave is increased maximal oxygen consumption. The second is increased lactate threshold. The third is increased efficiency. In the CrossFit concept we are interested in maximizing first wave adaptations and procuring the second systemically through multiple modalities, including weight training, and avoiding completely third wave adaptations. Second and third wave adaptations are highly specific to the activity in which they are developed and are detrimental to the broad fitness that we advocate and develop. A clear understanding of this material has prompted us to advocateregular high intensity training in as many training modalities as possible through largely anaerobic efforts and intervals while deliberately and specifically avoiding the efficiency that accompanies mastery of a single modality. It is at first ironic that this is our interpretation of Dr. Seiler’s work for it was not his intention, but when our quest of optimal physical competence is viewed in light of Dr. Seiler’s more specific aim of maximizing endurance performance our interpretation is powerful.

Dr. Seiler’s work, incidentally, makes clear the fallacy of assuming that endurance work is of greater benefit to the cardiovascular system than higher intensity interval work. This is very important: with interval training we get all of the cardiovascular benefit of endurance work without the attendant loss of strength, speed, and power.

The contradictions and just plain bullshit in the above statements are unbelievable.

"@Fit, We make you suck at stuff so you burn more calories!"

[DVD Pimp]

The sloppy ideal is a small breakdown in technical form, maybe 20 percent off from perfect. In CrossFit, that's the optimal balance of effort and safety. "That's where the intensity is," Sherwood said.

That's also where the rotator cuff damage, spinal injuries, and bicep tears are, you stupid fucking stupid fucker.

[kreator]

The sloppy ideal is a small breakdown in technical form, maybe 20 percent off from perfect. In CrossFit, that's the optimal balance of effort and safety. "That's where the intensity is," Sherwood said.

That's also where the rotator cuff damage, spinal injuries, and bicep tears are, you stupid fucking stupid fucker.

"If you find the notion of falling off the rings and breaking your neck so foreign to you, then we don't want you in our ranks."

[Cowboys and Aliens]

The sloppy ideal is a small breakdown in technical form, maybe 20 percent off from perfect. In CrossFit, that's the optimal balance of effort and safety. "That's where the intensity is," Sherwood said.

That's also where the rotator cuff damage, spinal injuries, and bicep tears are, you stupid fucking stupid fucker.

You are clearly not elite enough for Crossfit. You should be in awe of all those crash and go deadlifts you can admire in the Gaymes videos. Everybody knows that's how the lift is supposed to be done, with 20% slop.

Now don't tell me anything about this powerlifter said or that powerlifter said, I don't give a flying fuck about those fat out of shape bastards. Thinking that are great when they pull 1000lbs on the deadlift... Everybody knows that with the right training it only takes you two years to lift at least 500lbs, if not 750lbs. Not to mention that Andy Bolton has probably a 6 hour Fran and can't even do proper kipping pull ups.

You know your way to success isn't easy. Damaged shoulders, messed up backs and a constant feeling of being tired and hungry are necessary stages on your way to eliteness. Just like doing 20 feet rope climbs in a conditioning circuit without any matresses or other security installations. Sure you can slip and fall of the rope, but Crossfit doesn't want no pussies among its members.

Roided up andro babes with implants and tatted up douchebags, sure. Those are OK. But no pussies. Got that? Crossfitters are hardcore and they aren't afraid to fail. Because we all know that falling down teaches you how to run.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

unscared? hahah. that's not even a word.

maybe it's supposed to be "unscarred"

xFE dipshittery is the best.

[sanchezero]

unfinished didn't fit.

[DVD Pimp]

You are clearly not elite enough for Crossfit. You should be in awe of all those crash and go deadlifts you can admire in the Gaymes videos. Everybody knows that's how the lift is supposed to be done, with 20% slop.

I know I have much to learn about the path of lameness. Even after years of lifting, I never knew a deadlift was supposed to be dropped from crotch height until a Crossfelcher showed up at the gym where I was working a few years ago. I was so awestruck that I failed to apologize for the lack of bumper plates.

Now that I think of it, dropping the DL WITH bumper plates would be awesomely functional.

[rjudo]

unfinished didn't fit.

=D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>


How 'bout "NOCOMPLETE" That should fit.