The couch thread

[Yes, I'm drunk]

what the fuck is a clapping thruster?

Clapping thrusters is for insects.

CRUSADER, COLLECT UP THOSE HUNNY POTS.

IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING.

IT'S THE END OF DAYS, AND THE RAPTURE WILL SOON BE UPON US.

[Mountebank]

I just learned yesterday that an @F in my area is charging $140 for the privilege of attending TWO classes a week.

Be fair, dude, that annual $3000 affiliate fee isn't just going to go away.

Well shit, at $70 per "class", those people could get a damn good private personal training session in this town...there are probably only a handful of people here charging that much for a session, and that's likely their single session price (ie. not their package deals).

I think the guy I send my mom and wife to (I don't work with family), the best trainer in town as far as I know, just recently upped his rate to $70/session for single sessions, because he's booked to the gills and is trying to push clients towards his other (less expensive) trainers.

People are obviously paying for the name. I just saw that the box I was referring to has their monthly unlimited rate at $195. $200 in NY, $195 in AZ??? Something is off somewhere.

[Jay]

The folks I met from NY, Allison B, Kurt whatever, some other folks, seemed pretty conscientious about that stuff.

Allison is good people, she trains with a strength bias and doesn't follow HQ blindly at all. Court Wing is a Z-Health guy and he knows his shit.

They use mainsite for programming because that is what the investors of the NYC box want, and those two aren't the investors.

They aren't producing top level CrossFitters but their people aren't getting hurt either. Many of their clients and former clients have went into olympic lifting competitions and Kevin Williams, their former Director of Operations at their former Brooklyn location, is a 2nd Lt. in the Marines. Smart dude, strong for his size and has good endurance.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Yeah, Court.

He tried to convince me to open up the second XF in Michigan when I met him.

[Jay]

this is going to get good....

from Lauren's facebook status:

Lauren Jenai
The truth is that she is certifiably insane, a compulsive liar, and completely destructive. I am sorry for all that are fooled. It is no longer in my best interest to keep quiet. She will lie and manipulate in order to rewrite history to alleviate her own guilt. She will cause havoc and destroy, simply because that is what she does.
7 hours ago · Like · Comment
2 people like this.
Lauren Jenai It is very likely that whatever it is you think has happened, the reality is much worse. How do I protect all that is important to me, my kids, my business, from this evil?
7 hours ago · Like
Lauren Jenai For the record she is not my friend. She has not been for over 2 years. I am not OK with her being employed by me and have stepped away from the thing I love the most because I will not work side by side someone so destructive.
7 hours ago · Like
Lauren Jenai Thank you all for the private messages of support. To be clear, I am not doing this out of hurt or pain - I have been through all of that over the last 2 years. I am in a VERY happy place. My life is truly blessed. What I cannot do is pretend that everything is OK when it comes to her. I would feel like a bad person to stay quiet and allow any more destruction. If there is further destruction, it is not on my conscience.
6 hours ago · Like
Lauren Jenai And to all you cowards who know the truth - shame on you for not standing up for what is right. It is so easy to say, "I dont want to get involved" "It is none of my business" "There is nothing I can do" BUT so many of you profit from what HE and I have created. IT IS YOUR BUSINESS.
6 hours ago · Like · 1 person
Lauren Joseph I applaud a strong woman, thank you for making CF my business. You're inspirational. Wife, business woman, friend, daughter and Mother!
5 hours ago · Like · 3 people
Lauren Jenai AND that is what is so great! This is a wonderful community. There is nothing that can harm THAT! Thank you.
5 hours ago · Like · 1 person
Keetron Breece Lauren without the haters, we would aspire to be greater. Without knowing the situation, and what you are going through. I know that you are a wonderful person, and a very strong woman, physically, mentally, and spiritually. And have contributed so much to the organization that is changing the world for the better!! Don't let them take you backwards, let them get left behind. :-)
5 hours ago · Like
Lauren Jenai So, the critics will say that I am potentially harming the business, the community. To that, I call BS. All I have is the truth and am doing what I feel is right and BEST for the company and my family. I am not doing this to unnecessarily air dirty laundry. I am trying to put an end to something bad. If this were purely personal, I would have yelled out long ago :)
5 hours ago · Like
Lauren Jenai Keetron, That is what I am trying to do!!!!
5 hours ago · Like
Keetron Breece Let go and let God, and it will happen much faster.:-)
4 hours ago · Like
Lauren Jenai I have tried that approach for 2 years. It has not gotten me the desired result. In fact, it is getting worse. Zen is cool. But I am Viking at heart :)
4 hours ago · Like
Robb Wolf Lauren-
You are facing the same dilemma I faced only your stakes are much higher.

Do the right thing, try to save and improve this thing you love, protect the community from a Cancer that has forgotten what it's purpose was...and if you do that good deed, you will unleash the full furry of that Cancer and YOU will be at the center. What I discovered however was more love and support than I thought existed in the world, you will too.
3 hours ago · Like · 2 people
Jesse Townley Give 'em hell, Lauren!
3 hours ago · Like
Lauren Jenai Difference here Robb, is my cancer also needs anti-psychotic meds!
3 hours ago · Like · 1 person
Lauren Jenai So, what spawned this public spewing was Lisa's response to me wanting to help Joey Powell get out of the lease SHE signed for his current location. I am interested in opening a gym of my own and I want to bring Joey in as to not step all over him.

She of course lied to me and Greg about the fact that she was involved in Joey's venture at all. But the details came out in me wanting to help Joey out.

So, I get an email last night to her accountant, Eddie, Greg, and Joey, saying that because Eddie and I are having sexual relations she needs to be included in all correspondences. WTF????

I am not having sex with Eddie, but hey Big man - bring it! :)
3 hours ago · Like
Robb Wolf Well, the truth has never been an issue in the past, no reason for them to start now.
2 hours ago · Like
Lauren Jenai Oh, Robb, wait. Don't talk to me here. The truth will just be wrapped up in the fact that I am a traitor. Lisa Lugo is not the problem, it is Lauren and Robb!
2 hours ago · Like
Lauren Jenai ‎"Private message" me and we can talk in private and tell lies, deceive, all while putting up a pretty smile.

[Shafpocalypse Now]

Wow.

Sounds like a fun Facebook friend!

I was hoping she was having sexual relations with poor Eddie.

[***]

*Yawn*

Is there anything left to talk about that hasn't already been covered like 12,000 times? I haven't seen anything remotely interesting on this thread in 6 months. It's no one's fault. It's just that the ship has sailed on @fit lulz.

[DrDonkeyLove]

Wow.

Sounds like a fun Facebook friend!

I was hoping she was having sexual relations with poor Eddie.

This thread is like Santa's bag, there's always something more.

[Yes I Have Balls]

Someone get Lauren an IGX account NAO!!!!! Let's turn this motha out!

[WildGorillaMan]

Someone get Lauren an IGX account NAO!!!!! Let's turn this motha out!

How can you be certain that she hasn't already? I have it on good authority that she's a big fan of this thread.

[Yes I Have Balls]

Someone get Lauren an IGX account NAO!!!!! Let's turn this motha out!

How can you be certain that she hasn't already? I have it on good authority that she's a big fan of this thread.

Being a big fan and spilling the corporate beans are two different things. Unless you're Lauren?

[TerryB]

You know I'm not Lauren b/c if I was, my hands would be too busy feeling myself up to post any messages.

[Holeyfraggaroley]

Someone get Lauren an IGX account NAO!!!!! Let's turn this motha out!

How can you be certain that she hasn't already? I have it on good authority that she's a big fan of this thread.

Being a big fan and spilling the corporate beans are two different things. Unless you're Lauren?

His tits are too small.

[friedquads]

Brother Ash, you know screenshots are much better. :)

itsgoingdown.JPG (196.68 KiB) Viewed 8073 times

[WildGorillaMan]

itsgoingdown.JPG

That's a pretty ironic filename, considering the reason for the rift between those two women.

[friedquads]

itsgoingdown.JPG

That's a pretty ironic filename, considering the reason for the rift between those two women.

Indeed.

[Gin Master]

If Eddie isn't on a plane right now he's a kweer.

[Yes I Have Balls]

Funny. Even when simply typing a message of support, @Fitters take themselves so, so very seriously.

Whoever said that "Doing the right thing was the easy road" probably never had to deal with anything of consequence.

No one EVER said that doing the right thing was easy -- these fuckers are so trial-by-fire eleet it makes me sick.

[Cave Canem]

what the fuck is a clapping thruster?

Clapping thrusters is for insects.

Sweet gorilla jeebus...is there no end to the dumbassery ?

[baffled]

I'm a little behind on my stupid. Could someone point me in the right direction as to who this Lisa chick is? I take it she's one of Cooch's concubines? She sounds like she'd be fun to know if she wasn't such a cunt.

[Yes I Have Balls]

If Eddie isn't on a plane right now he's a kweer.

If the pictures tell an accurate story, Eddie better be on a motorboat right now.....

[GoDogGo!]

Motorboat!

Monster Motorboat!

[The man in black]

http://www.supertraininggym.com/images/ ... 1-9-11.pdf

A powerlifting meet with a crossfit division? What the flying fuck is this horse shit? Is this something where all the real powerlifters squat with a 60 pound Mastadon bar and the crossfit class uses a ladies' O-lifting bar?

[Cave Canem]

Brother Ash, you know screenshots are much better. :)

itsgoingdown.JPG

Perhaps now the schism will be completed and the good people who were forced out will be recognized for their contributions and can form a loose confederation of sensible trainers/SMEs. Providing the earnest @fit trainees (you know the non-elite, non-athletes, i.e., normal people) with programming that fosters good health, increased strength and fitness while reducing potential for injury and overall stupidity.

Can you imagine a community of well adjusted people training to get healthy and strong without trying to be "eleet" by making exercise a competition ?

But then again, I still hope for peace in the Middle East too, so what the fuck do I know ?

[Fuzzy Dunlop]

Brother Ash, you know screenshots are much better. :)

itsgoingdown.JPG

So what is Lauren actually doing?