Which one of you was this?

[Bud Charniga's grape ape]

Conviction upheld in sex act with BART seat

The man accused of trying to make love to a BART train seat was rightfully convicted of lewd conduct, a state appeals court ruled Monday.

Bailey was arrested May 8, 2013 shortly after BART train operator Lori Hudson saw him on on his knees in the nearly empty first car, thrusting his pelvis against a seat next to the cab. He was described as wearing either red thong underwear or boxer shorts.

Bailey, who boarded the Dublin-Pleasanton train at the 16th Street station, exited at Civic Center but returned to the seat of his affections just before the doors closed. Hudson testified that she then saw him gyrating on his stomach, his feet in the aisle, before he flipped over and began masturbating and smoking crack cocaine.

In a recording of the encounter that was captured on BART police Officer Jeffrey Zwetsloot’s collar-mounted camera, “Bailey denied masturbating and claimed to be by the elevator because it was a convenient place to urinate. There was, however, no urine on the floor,” Judge Steven Brick of Alameda County Superior Court wrote in the 3-0 ruling that found no arguable issues on appeal.

That...probably isn't going to be a winning argument.

[WildGorillaMan]

That seat was totally asking for it.

[Bud Charniga's grape ape]

Incidentally, I worked for judge Brick for a little while when I first moved to the Bay Area. Very good judge, good man, but very dapper in the old WASPy way - tweeds, tassels and bowties. It amuses me more than a little bit to learn that he caught this case.

[baffled]

I ride BART all the time.

I pretty much refuse to drive into the city unless there's no other way to get in and around.

Can't say I ever tries to fuck a seat though

[Turdacious]

I ride BART all the time.

I pretty much refuse to drive into the city unless there's no other way to get in and around.

You only say that because you've driven into the city. The BART is one of the least shitty public transit systems I've been one.

[baffled]

I ride BART all the time.

I pretty much refuse to drive into the city unless there's no other way to get in and around.

You only say that because you've driven into the city. The BART is one of the least shitty public transit systems I've been one.

Umm, yeah.

Driving into San Francisco is a shit show. Even if BART wasn't as good as it is, I would still probably take it.

I know a few people who love to drive in the city. I'm fairly certain they have drug problems.

[Protobuilder]

He was described as wearing either red thong underwear or boxer shorts.

What kind of DA didn't tear a hole in this testimony?