Worst...movie...ever
Moderator: Dux
-
Topic author - Sergeant Commanding
- Posts: 6394
- Joined: Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:11 pm
Worst...movie...ever
'The Marine' with WWE Supah-staaaaahhhhh John Cena. The UNRATED version no less.
Christ knows why my wife rented it...bless her soul.
Started out pretty good when he rescues some Marines from being beheaded in Iraq...ices 9 terrorist sand nigras in nicely done over the top Hollywood style. All down hill from there...
The only upside is his wife is played by the hot blonde chick from Nip/Tuck, but she don't get nekkid so who cares. Bad writing...jokes are bad, I mean BAAAAAADDD!!!
Evidently, he's not only a Marine, but also has an adamantium skeleton...he gets hit full power in the face with a fire extinguisher, back of the head with a two by four, full on punches to the face by 300 lbs men while tied to a chair, and gut shot with a 10 lbs sledge hammer. Nigga keeps on tickin', yo.
Don't watch it...please.
Christ knows why my wife rented it...bless her soul.
Started out pretty good when he rescues some Marines from being beheaded in Iraq...ices 9 terrorist sand nigras in nicely done over the top Hollywood style. All down hill from there...
The only upside is his wife is played by the hot blonde chick from Nip/Tuck, but she don't get nekkid so who cares. Bad writing...jokes are bad, I mean BAAAAAADDD!!!
Evidently, he's not only a Marine, but also has an adamantium skeleton...he gets hit full power in the face with a fire extinguisher, back of the head with a two by four, full on punches to the face by 300 lbs men while tied to a chair, and gut shot with a 10 lbs sledge hammer. Nigga keeps on tickin', yo.
Don't watch it...please.
-
- Supreme Martian Overlord
- Posts: 15563
- Joined: Wed Jan 05, 2005 5:05 pm
- Location: Nice planet. We'll take it.
Jack, he's got you spinning. You are rapidly approaching Jeek status again. Chill.Jack wrote:At any point in the movie does obsess over saying other men like to watch him piss, does he then actually piss on his wife, girlfriend, or cat, and finally was he actually Former Force Recon, or just an artey grunt?
GDG!
The flesh is weak, and the smell of pussy is strong like a muthafucka.
-
Topic author - Sergeant Commanding
- Posts: 6394
- Joined: Mon Nov 20, 2006 10:11 pm
I still like Heartbreak Ridge...it's a little cheesey when I watch it now, but I could watch that shit over and over when I was a teenager. Besides...it's Clint Eastwood.Jack wrote:It's was a actually a slam (sorta) on Marines (and G) and their quextionable behavior, but with those keenly inaccurate skills of observation and whatnot, you've killed it. Had you just let it go (impossible for you to do when it comes to defending G) it would have just passed as we were already on our way to slamming the equally horrid Jarhead.
Is FMJ the only good movie about Gyrines?
-
- Lifetime IGer
- Posts: 21247
- Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2005 6:54 am
- Location: Upon the eternal throne of the great Republic of Turdistan
That movie was shit.High Velocity Lie-Nap! wrote:That was another shitty movie...Jarhead.Jack wrote:At any point in the movie does obsess over saying other men like to watch him piss, does he then actually piss on his wife, girlfriend, or cat
"Liberalism is arbitrarily selective in its choice of whose dignity to champion." Adrian Vermeule
-
- Top
- Posts: 2374
- Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 4:00 am
Re: Worst...movie...ever
Kazuya Mishima wrote:'The Marine' with WWE Supah-staaaaahhhhh John Cena. The UNRATED version no less.
Christ knows why my wife rented it...bless her soul.
Started out pretty good when he rescues some Marines from being beheaded in Iraq...ices 9 terrorist sand nigras in nicely done over the top Hollywood style. All down hill from there...
The only upside is his wife is played by the hot blonde chick from Nip/Tuck, but she don't get nekkid so who cares. Bad writing...jokes are bad, I mean BAAAAAADDD!!!
Evidently, he's not only a Marine, but also has an adamantium skeleton...he gets hit full power in the face with a fire extinguisher, back of the head with a two by four, full on punches to the face by 300 lbs men while tied to a chair, and gut shot with a 10 lbs sledge hammer. Nigga keeps on tickin', yo.
Don't watch it...please.
Based on your review, I will avoid it....but the WME, in my opinion, has to be "Teenagers Battle The Thing", or else "Deafula". Yes, "Deafula" is an actual movie, where the characters (you can't call them "actors") all sign their speech in ASL while tone-deaf voice actors overdub the lines. It was apparently shot for $2.98 by someone who had never held a camera before.
So "The Marine" loses out if only because it had an actual budget and features an impressively muscled fellow doing manly things in a manly way. Call it "Worst...Movie With An Actual Budget...ever."
"I also think training like a Navy S.E.A.L. is stupid for the average person. I would say PT like an infantry unit, run, body weight stuff, hump a little, a little weights and enjoy life if you are not training for specifics." -tough old man
-
- Lord of the thighs
- Posts: 18936
- Joined: Sun Jan 02, 2005 6:14 pm
- Location: Eating a cookie in Bikini Bottom.
Re: Worst...movie...ever
WTF!? LOL....Now you have me wanting to take a look at that gem.Abandoned by Wolves wrote:Based on your review, I will avoid it....but the WME, in my opinion, has to be "Teenagers Battle The Thing", or else "Deafula". Yes, "Deafula" is an actual movie, where the characters (you can't call them "actors") all sign their speech in ASL while tone-deaf voice actors overdub the lines. It was apparently shot for $2.98 by someone who had never held a camera before.
You're an ASS!syaigh wrote: The thought of eating that giant veiny monstrosity makes me want to barf.


-
- Top
- Posts: 2374
- Joined: Fri Feb 11, 2005 4:00 am
Yeah, "Manos" is right up there. But it at least had the germ of a spooky little story at its core...which was sabotaged by the fact that Hal Warren didn't make a single correct decision on anything in the movie. I kiddingly wrote in IMDb thatGoDogGo! wrote:Come on, have none of you seen "MANOS?"
GDG!
But I stand by my opinion. "Deafula" is so wrong-headed that it leaves you speechless. And "Teenagers Battle The Thing" makes "Plan 9 from Outer Space" look like a Francis Ford Coppola film.Manos: The Hands Of Fate" isn't so much a "bad" movie as it is an "anti-movie". Not one scene, not one shot, not one line of spoken dialog, works as cinematic entertainment. To put the metaphor another way, it isn't even that the photography, writing, costumes, etc are "incompetent"...it's more like the whole film was done by people who didn't seem to realize they were supposed to be making a *film* instead of an 8th grade dramatic production of "Helter Skelter."
"I also think training like a Navy S.E.A.L. is stupid for the average person. I would say PT like an infantry unit, run, body weight stuff, hump a little, a little weights and enjoy life if you are not training for specifics." -tough old man