The couch thread

Botototo · Post by **Botototo** » Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:18 pm

The exacting standards of judging that characterized the first two CrossFit Games will be in effect once again, and Skins USA will be on hand to take urine samples from every competitor. The samples will be analyzed for performance-enhancing substances at a cost of well over $20,000. Positive tests will erase an athlete’s placing and result in the forfeiture of any prizes.

http://www.skins.net/us/en/default.aspx ? Looks like a clothing company.

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:23 pm

Speaking of naked TGU, here is ALYtits in 20 years.

http://xhamster.com/movies/124760/uk_wi ... bells.html

sanchezero · Post by **sanchezero** » Tue Jul 07, 2009 9:28 pm

JohnnyBadAss wrote:Our favorite large breasted friend apparently had a rough weekend with B-Boi.
AllisonNYC is walking funny from 84 fs with 135#. brutal!
Anyone really think it was from front squats? And why do 84 with 135lbs? Why not do say, 5x3 @ 225?

i don't think buh-buh-BOI can put a hurtin' on a seasoned vet like aNYC. maybe it's just me but i get the feeling his entire lifestyle is built around some form of overcompensation.

Fuzzy Dunlop · Post by **Fuzzy Dunlop** » Tue Jul 07, 2009 11:00 pm

Brandon Oto wrote:
The exacting standards of judging that characterized the first two CrossFit Games will be in effect once again, and Skins USA will be on hand to take urine samples from every competitor. The samples will be analyzed for performance-enhancing substances at a cost of well over $20,000. Positive tests will erase an athlete’s placing and result in the forfeiture of any prizes.
http://www.skins.net/us/en/default.aspx ? Looks like a clothing company.

if you're not too busy trying to pop POD's cherry, check out the blog. http://skinsusa.blogspot.com/

I'm not believing any of this testing is valid unless a couple people are caught.

Botototo · Post by **Botototo** » Tue Jul 07, 2009 11:15 pm

coop wrote:
Brandon Oto wrote:
The exacting standards of judging that characterized the first two CrossFit Games will be in effect once again, and Skins USA will be on hand to take urine samples from every competitor. The samples will be analyzed for performance-enhancing substances at a cost of well over $20,000. Positive tests will erase an athlete’s placing and result in the forfeiture of any prizes.
http://www.skins.net/us/en/default.aspx ? Looks like a clothing company.
if you're not too busy trying to pop POD's cherry, check out the blog. http://skinsusa.blogspot.com/

I'm not believing any of this testing is valid unless a couple people are caught.

So what I'm getting is that they're a company that makes compression stuff who supports clean training and competitive testing, so I guess they're maybe sponsoring and managing (and um, taking the piss at) the Games testing? I assume the actual tests will be done by dudes with white coats somewhere else.

If so this might be a nice third-party way to handle things. Harder to accuse CFHQ of bullshit if it's an external company arbitrating the whole testing procedure, from pisscup to posted results. Not impossible, but harder.

Fish · Post by **Fish** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:35 am

Gin Master wrote:Speaking of naked TGU, here is ALYtits in 20 years.

http://xhamster.com/movies/124760/uk_wi ... bells.html

LOL WTF?

I don't understand the motives for such a video. The wife is thinking, "hmm, I am not attractive or good at kettlebells, but lets get naked and make a video." Then the husband says, "yes. I would love to have a video of you working out naked on the internet, I will even film it!"

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:52 am

The Bastard Son of the Shafman wrote:God damn, that's a gay fucking shirt.

POD wrote:Is that at all surprising? I've already had about thirty-five weekends during my Freshman year that I passed up on. If simply getting laid was high on my list of priorities, or even on the list at all, I would have done it already. If the likes of you can get laid, I ought to have no problems if I tried.

I love the hate POD. But the whole insect ANALogy is trying too hard. And you brought the bullshit onto yourself by broadcasting that you were a virgin. Not something to be proud of in my opinion. Abstinence is simply ignoring the pink elephant in the room. Go have sex but wear a condom the worst sexually transmitted disease out there is fucking pregnancy.

Fish · Post by **Fish** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:23 am

From the gaymes website:

Jeremy Jones - Diablo CrossFit wrote:I sure hope one of the team events is a drinking competition. We'd have it in the bag!

I guess we'll just have to have an impromtu one after the events anyway.

-jj

Just hope couch doesn't decide to participate in that one, considering it is the only event he would excel at.

Fish · Post by **Fish** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:34 am

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/RTG_ ... tstyle.wmv

More @fit douchebag arrogance. Why workout in the gym when you could workout on a crowded city street?

POD · Post by **POD** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:56 am

Fish wrote:http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/RTG_ ... tstyle.wmv

More @fit douchebag arrogance. Why workout in the gym when you could workout on a crowded city street?

Wow. Times so fast you need an extra person there specifically to time it.

To stop cluttering the thread with talk about my preferences: viewtopic.php?f=1&t=208202

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:57 am

If the likes of you can get laid, I ought to have no problems if I tried.

This is telling.

Botototo · Post by **Botototo** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 4:19 am

Fish, I love the bouncing, but your fucking sig (x6) takes about five minutes to load.

GoDogGo! · Post by **GoDogGo!** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 4:45 am

Gin Master wrote:Speaking of naked TGU, here is ALYtits in 20 years.

http://xhamster.com/movies/124760/uk_wi ... bells.html

Oh good god. Xhamster has some good stuff but goddamn, that was all wrong.

Fish · Post by **Fish** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 4:51 am

Brandon Oto wrote:Fish, I love the bouncing, but your fucking sig (x6) takes about five minutes to load.

Lol I forget sometimes that some people still have dial-up. Maybe I will look into a smaller boobie GIF.

Thud · Post by **Thud** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 5:10 am

POD wrote:I'm trying to complete an analogy. Would you relate CrossFitters to being most like bees, wasps, or hornets? Currently, I'm leaning towards wasps for the following reasons:

1. They can't be bees, since bees have hair. That rules that one out. (Unless there are some bees that shave their chest that I haven't heard about.)
2. Both hornets and wasps can call upon the entire hive to attack someone who disturbs the nest. (Part of that "Forging Elite Community" BS, but hornets don't fit other criteria nearly as well.)
3. Hornets are several times larger than wasps. (They aren't all between 150-180lbs.)
4. Hornets generally have a much more painful sting that wasps. (Stronger.)
5. Hornets prey on other insects, while wasps generally eat a diet of nectar as adults. (I'm sure they count the blocks of nectar too.)
6. It should be noted though that wasp larvae in strictly-parasitic species typically are hatched inside of another bug, and the first thing they do after spawning is chow down on that bug's corpse. (Backstabbing everyone who helped the hive grow initially.)
7. Some wasps will invade the hives of bees to steal honey or larvae. (Or the fame of actual athletes.)
8. Female worker wasps are sterile. (No doubt an effect of dosing too heavy.)
9. Wasps have numerous eyes - two compound eyes, then a few smaller simple eyes. (This makes it easier for them to see when someone posts smack about their hive.)

Any other opinions?

The Bastard Son of the Shafman wrote:Shit, there were 6 fucking pages added during the weekend. And POD is still a virgin?
Is that at all surprising? I've already had about thirty-five weekends during my Freshman year that I passed up on. If simply getting laid was high on my list of priorities, or even on the list at all, I would have done it already. If the likes of you can get laid, I ought to have no problems if I tried.

If you ever decide to try, you'll increase your odds if you shave.

Kraj · Post by **Kraj** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 6:39 am

WTF is with that video?

Why is that she-beast doing that shit out on the street? That's taking attention-whoring to a whole new level. It makes me want to punch everyone in that video. I don't hit women so that means I could punch EVERYONE in that video.

I mean just listen to that nasally, jewy, tranny voice. I had to mute my speakers, it's so annoying. You never hear a hot chick with a voice like that. It's always the roided-up muscle freak.

I wouldn't usually rip into her like I just did, but when you put yourself out in the public eye and scream for attention like those tards obviously did with that video, then you deserve what's coming to you.

Someone please post something without a Y-chromosome so I can get my dong back up from the 6 inches it's currently at.

Kraj · Post by **Kraj** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 6:54 am

The hormonal balance of this thread has been restored.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 12:41 pm

On the Gillian note, the Gaymes site is rich with pictures for Androgyn Friday. I'm trying to save them...

That workout on the street was 1) actually decently programmed, a lot like a Catalyst WOD, and 2) unbelievable attention-whoring, complete with ass-logo pants (I liked the guy who was walking by shaking his head, like "WTF?").

JohnnyBadAss · Post by **JohnnyBadAss** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 1:21 pm

I like the standard @F lack of hip extension on somewhere between 95% and 99% of those cleans. I didn't watch them all, so I'm giving her some leeway that she accidentally got one right somewhere in there.

beefheart · Post by **beefheart** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 2:09 pm

Fish wrote:http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/RTG_ ... tstyle.wmv

More @fit douchebag arrogance. Why workout in the gym when you could workout on a crowded city street?

I'm not really in the loop xfit-hatewise, so excuse my ignorance: is the guy in the plaid shirt Glassman?

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:08 pm

Interesting quote by Coach Sommer yesterday regarding weaklings becoming metcon specialists.

The strength rankings of the top Gaymes competitors are interesting but not surprising. The fuckers are pretty strong, plenty of 500+ DLs, 200+ presses, and 400+ squats. They obviously didn't get there by cultfit, but you certainly won't read that shit.

How about today's gem?

A 535 pound Back Squat is pretty impressive, right? How about when you only weigh 181? That's the almost 3x bodyweight PR touted by Kyle Kasperbauer of CrossFit Omaha, who takes this category.

When pressed for confirmation on this, Kyle's coach Ricky Frausto responded:

"Kyle was a college football player for 5 years and the basis of football strength and conditioning is back squat, bench press, and power clean. He has been doing that from the time he started football in high school until he finished his eligibility in college. Nine years of back squatting, both in the off-season and in-season, will get a person really strong, especially when you are as genetic a freak as Kyle is. I coached him for about 4 of his five years in college and I've seen him squat over 500 pounds for a rep or two and have seen him rep out at least 450. This is a regular site in college weight rooms all over the country. Wait until word reaches these guys that there will be money to be made in CrossFit. So, yes, the weight for his back squat is accurate. We never used to dead-lift at the college level before CrossFit so that is why his dead-lift isn't higher."

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:30 pm

coop wrote:
I'm not believing any of this testing is valid unless a couple people are caught.

People will get caught, make no mistake. But just because a couple of dudes and broads (not to mention broad-dudes) who aren't the movement's favored spokesmodels get popped for using, don't think there's any correlation between that and the test's validity.

If any buff nobodies upset the applecart by eclipsing the favorites, do really think they won't get taught a lesson?

Grandpa's Spells · Post by **Grandpa's Spells** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:39 pm

Interesting quote by Coach Sommer yesterday regarding weaklings becoming metcon specialists.

Where?

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:50 pm

Grandpa's Spells wrote:
Interesting quote by Coach Sommer yesterday regarding weaklings becoming metcon specialists.
Where?

A day or so ago. I didn't realize we'd covered two more pages of hate (actually faggotry since much of it was about POD).

Resident Quack wrote:If it wasn't bad enough for @F that anyone who's been around a barbell long enough says that strength is the foundation for GPP performance, Coach Sommer even adds his opinion on the gymnastic/calisthenic side of the equation:
As has been shown repeatedly over the past few years within the fitness community, depending on an athlete's training background and the type of metcon workout involved, there may be a month or two of adaptation to new exercises and the metcon format, but very shortly after that adaptation period the much stronger athlete will begin to utterly dominate weaker athletes in metcon performance; regardless of how much longer (weeks, months or even years) the weaker athletes have invested in making metcon training their primary focus at the expense of increasing their foundational strength.
Ouch. From a real gymnastics coach who still trains...that must really chap couch's ass.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Wed Jul 08, 2009 3:53 pm

Hey don't let a debilitating injury prevent you from flailing around, I mean, getting a fix for your addiction to metcon!

Heaven forbid, you might lose some "work capacity" if you took time to heal up.

IGX

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