The couch thread

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A1A BA
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Re: The couch thread

Post by A1A BA »

Lulz
Tony Blauer March 15 at 11:00pm Reply
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-REAL- ... 331?ref=mf

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Please join his FB page and spread the word.

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Mickey O'neil
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Mickey O'neil »

That is now how The Corps does pullups.


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Re: The couch thread

Post by jhsimpson »

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Game ... _ALMen.mov

I realize that it isn't "Douche-Wednesday"

But, falling on your ass = Hilarious

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T200
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Re: The couch thread

Post by T200 »

Confused wrote:
Quack Attack wrote:
ab g-d wrote: I can't wait until some real elite athlete comes in, wins the Gaymes, and in the post-interview says..."Shit no I don't do @F training! @F training sucks donkey balls. Don't you ever say I do @F."
I still haven't figured out why Josh Everett hasn't done this yet.
Because he is a faggot at heart as well obviously. Just because he is more physically adept than the other choads doesn't make him exempt from being categorized under 'FAGZ.'
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Mountebank
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Mountebank »

Confused wrote:
Quack Attack wrote:
ab g-d wrote: I can't wait until some real elite athlete comes in, wins the Gaymes, and in the post-interview says..."Shit no I don't do @F training! @F training sucks donkey balls. Don't you ever say I do @F."
I still haven't figured out why Josh Everett hasn't done this yet.
Josh is soon, if not already, going to be teaching @F in various forms (including already helping at certs for HQ) full-time. Biting the hand that feeds would not be wise for him.

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Yes I Have Balls
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Yes I Have Balls »

Imagine that. @fit HQ soaked "trainers" for cert money, knowing full well that it meant nothing. Apparently, these "trainers" couldn't bother to study for a cert that meant nothing, but cost them $1000.
Renee Fat Cunt Lee wrote:I've also heard from some L2 instructors that the new prep course came to be because a lot of people come to their L2 completely unprepared.

Day 1 of the L2 is a dry run of the testing process on day 2. You take the feedback and tweak before your test. If you're completely unprepared, you can't completely change your coaching skills in less than 24 hours, but since you've already paid for the cert, so you go through it, essentially knowing that you're going to fail.
WTF Renee Lee knows about ANYTHING not on 4chan, involving lesbian porn or 16th Century Latin poets is beyond me.

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Yes I Have Balls
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Yes I Have Balls »

Quack Attack wrote:
How could anyone (like Greg Everett) argue that @Fers need better OLY form after watching that video?

From the comments:
6. Rog wrote...

March 15, 2010 11:40 AM

Molly Tuman - another darn near elite athlete BEFORE finding cf, that comes in and dominates cf'ers.

"Our workouts are competitive events. The strength and value of crossfit lies entirely in our dominance of other athletes. This is a truth divined through competition, not debate."

Looks to me like "other athletes" are kicking major butt.

[...]

10. Mike replied to comment from Rog...

March 15, 2010 1:45 PM

And yet those athletes come to our arena and enjoy the competition. Truth is, those people that you claim are not crossfitters are doing constantly varied, high intesity training already. Just because they don't call it crossfit doesn't mean they don't train with similar methods.

11. Damon - Wasatch replied to comment from Rog...

March 15, 2010 2:29 PM

How is this in any way a refutation of Crossfit? In most sports genetically gifted athletes rise to the top. Molly is a trainer at an Affiliate and has several CF certifications so it's not like she came in off the street and won. As the sport gets bigger I'm sure we'll see plenty more people who were world class in other sports spend 6-12 months WOD'ing and do very well. What do you expect to happen when gifted athletes meet a superior stimulus?
Elite athletes in real sports using "constantly varied" training? Show them to me. Next thing you know, @Fers will be saying 5/3/1 is "constantly varied" because you increase the weights each month and the final AMRAP set might be a different rep number each time.

Real sport elite athletes don't call their training "@F" because @F (defined as the mainpage WOD and nothing else, as it always should be) sucks ass and they wouldn't do it. Elite athletes have plans. Elite athletes compete on certain days, never EVERY DAY. Elite athletes come in to @F and kick full-time @Fers' asses because they are coordinated, strong, and explosive from their REAL SPORT training. They also know how to prep and taper.

I can't wait until some real elite athlete comes in, wins the Gaymes, and in the post-interview says..."Shit no I don't do @F training! @F training sucks donkey balls. Don't you ever say I do @F."
to wit:

Jesse,

You have it all wrong - not shocked though, lots of you kool-aiders think the same way.

The MAIN thing all of these great athletes have done prior to finding cf, the thing that made them strong enough to dominate 'homegrown' cf'ers in competition not debate?

One word - PERIODIZATION. It's what cf lacks and what the rest of the sporting world uses to its perfect advantage.

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T200
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Re: The couch thread

Post by T200 »

Quack Attack wrote:
Josh is soon, if not already, going to be teaching @F in various forms (including already helping at certs for HQ) full-time. Biting the hand that feeds would not be wise for him.
As I said: FAGGOT.
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Elk
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Elk »

A1A BA wrote:Holy frontal displacement 8-[

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:drinkers:
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Yes I Have Balls
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Yes I Have Balls »

That Barky must suck a mean dick. They get a gym, equipment, etc. from teh couch for free. They don't have a website, they're not linked on the mainpage and they are using a name "Crossfit Obsession" that is owned by someone else?

The facebook site (Real Crossfit Obsession) has Barky's blogspot as the official website for the gym, but her blog says that "Crossfit Obsession is no more."

WTF
# Once you are accepted as an affiliate, you will need to have a live website before we will be able to link you on the CrossFit site. This is our primary vehicle for promoting you; therefore, we expect you maintain a good site. Please DO NOT register a domain with the CrossFit name in it until AFTER you have been accepted; CrossFit is a licensed trademark and its use without our prior permission is illegal.
# We require every affiliate website to display the CFJ link on the front page of their site.
Also, this sounds a little like franchising, no?
One-on-one training & group classes in authentic CrossFit as prescribed by CrossFit HQ
So, now HQ DOES have a hand in what training the affiliates do?
Last edited by Yes I Have Balls on Tue Mar 16, 2010 4:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Your points are excellent (and I for one can't wait to see what happens when the VA registered owner of Obsession steps up), but I've never understood the expression "sucks a mean dick." What, does it have poisonous spines on it? Does it squirt battery acid?
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friedquads
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Re: The couch thread

Post by friedquads »

Yes I Have Balls wrote:That Barky must suck a mean dick. They get a gym, equipment, etc. from teh couch for free. They don't have a website, they're not linked on the mainpage and they are using a name "Crossfit Obsession" that is owned by someone else?

The facebook site (Real Crossfit Obsession) has Barky's blogspot as the official website for the gym, but her blog says that "Crossfit Obsession is no more."

WTF
# Once you are accepted as an affiliate, you will need to have a live website before we will be able to link you on the CrossFit site. This is our primary vehicle for promoting you; therefore, we expect you maintain a good site. Please DO NOT register a domain with the CrossFit name in it until AFTER you have been accepted; CrossFit is a licensed trademark and its use without our prior permission is illegal.
# We require every affiliate website to display the CFJ link on the front page of their site.
And it's still owned by someone else. Luke's name is still on the business license with the state. Would be an interesting thing if someone gave a call to the Virginia State Corporate Commission about this. http://www.scc.virginia.gov/contact.aspx
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Yes I Have Balls »

WildGorillaMan wrote:Your points are excellent (and I for one can't wait to see what happens when the VA registered owner of Obsession steps up), but I've never understood the expression "sucks a mean dick." What, does it have poisonous spines on it? Does it squirt battery acid?
Hmmmmm. If it squirted battery acid, would that make teh couch a cyborg?

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

From SnowAngel's affiliate Front Range @fit:
WOD 3/16/10

2010 Rocky Mountain Sectional Workout #2

In 12 minutes, reach a 1 rep max snatch
Add 2 lb bonus for each muscle-up completed in that time

"We will either find a way or make one."
It won't take 12 minutes to reach a snatch 1rm:

bar x1/30kg x1/35kg x1/40kg x1

Three minutes. Tops.
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justpassingthrough
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Re: The couch thread

Post by justpassingthrough »

More like 5 minutes. You forgot about the PVC.

Shortchanging warmups is a recipe for disaster.

...especially at this eleet level.

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Re: The couch thread

Post by Yes I Have Balls »

They certainly and blindly faithful to the "cause"
A 14 year-old girl won the intermediate division of the OC throwdown back in January and honestly wasted everyone else competing in that division. I'm sure it'll be four or five years before she has any honest shot at competing in the open rxd divisions, but it'll be interesting to see how she does starting that young and actually being competitive from a young age.
Hmmm, a talented 14 year old "athlete" who likes to work out. Wonder where she'll be in 4 or 5 years? My guess is playing college sports and not wasting time with the WOD.


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Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

Yes I Have Balls wrote:They certainly and blindly faithful to the "cause"
A 14 year-old girl won the intermediate division of the OC throwdown back in January and honestly wasted everyone else competing in that division. I'm sure it'll be four or five years before she has any honest shot at competing in the open rxd divisions, but it'll be interesting to see how she does starting that young and actually being competitive from a young age.
Hmmm, a talented 14 year old "athlete" who likes to work out. Wonder where she'll be in 4 or 5 years? My guess is playing college sports and not wasting time with the WOD.
My guess is, injured from Couch's brilliant WOD programming.
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Yes I Have Balls »

Man, they just never give up! http://games2010.crossfit.com/qualifier ... l#comments

This is teh lawls though:

d.dot

cool, I challenge you all to the Olympic Distance Triathlon WOD. It's the second WOD of the day. The First is to hold and Iron Cross on the rings.

The catch? If you can't hold the Iron Cross for at least 5 seconds you forfeit!

I'm ready - are you? Is Kallista? Connor? Unknown and unknowable!

3-2-1 GO!!!!


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Re: The couch thread

Post by Paddy O'Furniture »

My favorites from the Alabama "Men's" sucktional, in no particular order:

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Game ... _ALMen.mov


Virtuosity in motion (give him a break - 275 is heavy for an @fitter)...

Image

Looks like those welds have about 19% slop in them...

Image

I call this one "The Passion of the Douche"

Image



Time for a cleansing, courtesy of the andro babes from the Carolina sucktionals:

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Game ... andbag.mov


I love it when they open their hips...

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Shots from the crotch-cam. Is this what Wendler means by moving north of vag?

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She can hold my bag anytime...

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CultBuster
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Re: The couch thread

Post by CultBuster »

That Barky must suck a mean dick. They get a gym, equipment, etc. from teh couch for free. They don't have a website, they're not linked on the mainpage and they are using a name "Crossfit Obsession" that is owned by someone else?
a buddy swung by and said they are living LARGE in their new 6000 sq/ft. 16 squat racks, 12 rowers, 10 GHD, 40+ bars and stacks and stacks of bumpers. The Dynamax balls were stacked 3 high and 3 deep down a wall and 15 jump boxes. The entire space is being built out by actual builders. If I was an affiliate 12 miles away and paid 2k a year for a link and was still paying off my gear I would BE SUPER FUCKING PISSED about this

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Re: The couch thread

Post by Holland Oates »

CultBuster wrote:
That Barky must suck a mean dick. They get a gym, equipment, etc. from teh couch for free. They don't have a website, they're not linked on the mainpage and they are using a name "Crossfit Obsession" that is owned by someone else?
a buddy swung by and said they are living LARGE in their new 6000 sq/ft. 16 squat racks, 12 rowers, 10 GHD, 40+ bars and stacks and stacks of bumpers. The Dynamax balls were stacked 3 high and 3 deep down a wall and 15 jump boxes. The entire space is being built out by actual builders. If I was an affiliate 12 miles away and paid 2k a year for a link and was still paying off my gear I would BE SUPER FUCKING PISSED about this
LOL

The fucking sheep get what they deserve.

Follow the drunk blindly and you deserve to be raped while he drinks up your gin and fucks your wife/girlfriend.

I just wish he was a nigger so he could ruin their credit while he was at it.
Southern Hospitality Is Aggressive Hospitality

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Paddy, you do good work. You were missed in your absence.
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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Ed Zachary wrote:
CultBuster wrote:
That Barky must suck a mean dick. They get a gym, equipment, etc. from teh couch for free. They don't have a website, they're not linked on the mainpage and they are using a name "Crossfit Obsession" that is owned by someone else?
a buddy swung by and said they are living LARGE in their new 6000 sq/ft. 16 squat racks, 12 rowers, 10 GHD, 40+ bars and stacks and stacks of bumpers. The Dynamax balls were stacked 3 high and 3 deep down a wall and 15 jump boxes. The entire space is being built out by actual builders. If I was an affiliate 12 miles away and paid 2k a year for a link and was still paying off my gear I would BE SUPER FUCKING PISSED about this
LOL

The fucking sheep get what they deserve.

Follow the drunk blindly and you deserve to be raped while he drinks up your gin and fucks your wife/girlfriend.

I just wish he was a nigger so he could ruin their credit while he was at it.
It just occurred to me, why is everyone assuming that it's Barky doing all the dick sucking?
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Re: The couch thread

Post by rjudo »

A1A BA wrote:Lulz
Tony Blauer March 15 at 11:00pm Reply
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-REAL- ... 331?ref=mf

Brendan Gilliam was personally trained by Coach Greg Glassman.
:drinkers:
Kinda like being taught how to drive by Stevie Wonder :rolleyes:
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Holland Oates »

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Ed Zachary wrote:
CultBuster wrote:
That Barky must suck a mean dick. They get a gym, equipment, etc. from teh couch for free. They don't have a website, they're not linked on the mainpage and they are using a name "Crossfit Obsession" that is owned by someone else?
a buddy swung by and said they are living LARGE in their new 6000 sq/ft. 16 squat racks, 12 rowers, 10 GHD, 40+ bars and stacks and stacks of bumpers. The Dynamax balls were stacked 3 high and 3 deep down a wall and 15 jump boxes. The entire space is being built out by actual builders. If I was an affiliate 12 miles away and paid 2k a year for a link and was still paying off my gear I would BE SUPER FUCKING PISSED about this
LOL

The fucking sheep get what they deserve.

Follow the drunk blindly and you deserve to be raped while he drinks up your gin and fucks your wife/girlfriend.

I just wish he was a nigger so he could ruin their credit while he was at it.
It just occurred to me, why is everyone assuming that it's Barky doing all the dick sucking?
You make an excellent point.
Southern Hospitality Is Aggressive Hospitality

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