
The couch thread
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Re: The couch thread
Post by WildGorillaMan »
Chaos Mitten wrote:She doesn't train there. It must've been a cert.T200 wrote:@Fit Foozball's first legit achievement!
Props Welbourne!







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Re: The couch thread
Post by CultBuster »
http://hotchickswithdouchebags.com/page/2/
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Yes I Have Balls »
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Mountebank »
I have a feeling the box-squatting blondie is going to become quite the regular on Andro Friday...does she have a name?
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Yes I Have Balls »
What will really happen:You'll look at the length of the workout and think that it'll never work, it's too short, there's some strange movements here, and that an air squat is no big deal. Then you should be shown how to properly execute the moves. You should be scaled until those moves are pretty easy for about 3-5 reps. Then you'll hear those words you'll learn to love to hate....."3...2...1....GO!!" You'll work balls to the wall for about 8-20 minutes depending on the workout. You'll be amazingly humbled by an air squat or a 200 meter run. After you finish and catch your breath, you'll stretch, talk about what a great time you had. You'll watch your name and score go on the whiteboard.
You show up 5 minutes early expecting to find a professional gym with a front desk and someone to greet you and a locker room to keep your gear in. What you find instead is a run-down looking warehouse with the parking lot full of already shirtless men standing around comparing tattoos and wallet chains. A very loud stereo is blasting inappropriate rap music loud enough for you not to understand the 5’10” 165 lb “trainer” when he walks up to take your payment information and have you sign the year long contract with Electronic Funds Transfer of course. You don’t really have much time to read through the contract or question why a gym membership costs $200 per month before the “trainer” shoves an injury waiver in your face and laughs while joking about his Uncle Pookie and, you think, the Sylvester Stallone movie “Rambo.”
The “Trainer” ushers you into the warehouse where you find 6-8 very skinny guys talking about how they “murdered Fran” last week. There will be at least 3 people standing around taking pictures as well. The “trainer” has you throw a PVC pipe around for 5 minutes, advises you to “chalk up” and then tells you that the workout of the day (you all have the same exact workout) is something called Murph – which is a mile run on either side of 100 pullups, pushups and squats. You start to ask the trainer if this workout is appropriate for a beginner like yourself – he replies that The CrossFit program is designed for universal scalability making it the perfect application for any committed individual regardless of experience. We’ve used our same routines for elderly individuals with heart disease and cage fighters one month out from televised bouts. We scale load and intensity; we don’t change programs. While trying to figure out what the fuck that means, your hear some douche bag scream 3-2-1 GO! and a starter gun goes off. People rush past you pushing you to the ground on the way out the warehouse door – this must be it then? A timed bodyweight workout starting with a mile run ….
Three days later you’ll wake up in the hospital having just been let out of Intensive Care. The last thing you remember is stumbling home after working out – then later that night not being able to straighten out your arms and your wife being concerned that something was wrong when your skin turned a yellow-ish brown.
Welcome to Crossfit – the journey has just begun. No refunds.
Yes I Have Balls
Re: The couch thread
=D> =D> =D>Yes I Have Balls wrote:Classic luls from another one of the indoctrinated when commenting on what to expect the first day at a new affiliate:
What will really happen:You'll look at the length of the workout and think that it'll never work, it's too short, there's some strange movements here, and that an air squat is no big deal. Then you should be shown how to properly execute the moves. You should be scaled until those moves are pretty easy for about 3-5 reps. Then you'll hear those words you'll learn to love to hate....."3...2...1....GO!!" You'll work balls to the wall for about 8-20 minutes depending on the workout. You'll be amazingly humbled by an air squat or a 200 meter run. After you finish and catch your breath, you'll stretch, talk about what a great time you had. You'll watch your name and score go on the whiteboard.
You show up 5 minutes early expecting to find a professional gym with a front desk and someone to greet you and a locker room to keep your gear in. What you find instead is a run-down looking warehouse with the parking lot full of already shirtless men standing around comparing tattoos and wallet chains. A very loud stereo is blasting inappropriate rap music loud enough for you not to understand the 5’10” 165 lb “trainer” when he walks up to take your payment information and have you sign the year long contract with Electronic Funds Transfer of course. You don’t really have much time to read through the contract or question why a gym membership costs $200 per month before the “trainer” shoves an injury waiver in your face and laughs while joking about his Uncle Pookie and, you think, the Sylvester Stallone movie “Rambo.”
The “Trainer” ushers you into the warehouse where you find 6-8 very skinny guys talking about how they “murdered Fran” last week. There will be at least 3 people standing around taking pictures as well. The “trainer” has you throw a PVC pipe around for 5 minutes, advises you to “chalk up” and then tells you that the workout of the day (you all have the same exact workout) is something called Murph – which is a mile run on either side of 100 pullups, pushups and squats. You start to ask the trainer if this workout is appropriate for a beginner like yourself – he replies that The CrossFit program is designed for universal scalability making it the perfect application for any committed individual regardless of experience. We’ve used our same routines for elderly individuals with heart disease and cage fighters one month out from televised bouts. We scale load and intensity; we don’t change programs. While trying to figure out what the fuck that means, your hear some douche bag scream 3-2-1 GO! and a starter gun goes off. People rush past you pushing you to the ground on the way out the warehouse door – this must be it then? A timed bodyweight workout starting with a mile run ….
Three days later you’ll wake up in the hospital having just been let out of Intensive Care. The last thing you remember is stumbling home after working out – then later that night not being able to straighten out your arms and your wife being concerned that something was wrong when your skin turned a yellow-ish brown.
Welcome to Crossfit – the journey has just begun. No refunds.
You forgot to add: "...and if you're a self-righteous narcissist with esteem issues hidden behind excessive bravado, you'll probably return for another round of proving ineluctably that you're better than everyone else."

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Re: The couch thread
Post by Mickey O'neil »
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Re: The couch thread
Post by WildGorillaMan »
http://www.rainiercrossfit.com/.a/6a00d ... 970b-800wi
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Re: The couch thread
Post by WildGorillaMan »
protobuilder wrote:=D> =D> =D>JamesonBushmill wrote:Goes to show, hot chicks know how hot there are, and it is redundant to yap about. Chicks with giant Jew beaks, who look like they should be on a bottle of Old Crow or perched on a telephone wire with Heckle and Jeckle...well...
They do love to crow about lifting REALLY HEAVY SHIT ... but they never quite manage to capture such feats on camera.
Let's be fair. A 300lb deadlift is great for a 100lb woman. A 180lb dude, not so much.
That's the thing about @fit, the men and women are rxed to AMRAP the same poundages. It makes the women solid and the men tired.
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Yes I Have Balls »
Herself?Mickey O'neil wrote:That Cohen bitch is ugly as hell. Who is she trying to kid?
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Mickey O'neil »
Obviously.Yes I Have Balls wrote:Herself?Mickey O'neil wrote:That Cohen bitch is ugly as hell. Who is she trying to kid?
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Yes I Have Balls »
http://www.crossfitobsession.com/So now that there is "The REAL CrossFit Obsession", the question begs:
Is "The REAL CrossFit Obsession" apart of the CF, Inc.?
The business license under the name CrossFit Obsession still has Luke as the owner and the domain name owner is being protected from whois searches. The affiliates page does not have them listed for Virginia Beach like the rest of the affiliates. The only thing that makes sense is that this gym is CrossFit Corporate owned and appears to be exempt of all the rules that paying affiliates have to go through. Makes you wonder if other affiliates will get the same protective treatment if their boxes were to go under. No one protected CrossFit Staten Island when the owner had to shut down.

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Re: The couch thread
Post by Jag Panzer »
I just double-checked and it is indeed.Yes I Have Balls wrote:Is this cunt the same cunt that is friends with Couch Crassman and called him a shit for making fun of Cohen cunt?
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Re: The couch thread
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Re: The couch thread
Post by powerlifter54 »
Both lead to ugly and painful wake up and smell the coffee experiences.
"But even snake wrestling beats life in the cube, for me at least. In measured doses."-Lex
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Re: The couch thread
Post by friedquads »
Legit question. Should make the @fitters who affiliated think to themselves "Is paying $2000 for the gin-fund really helping me?"Yes I Have Balls wrote:http://www.crossfitobsession.com/So now that there is "The REAL CrossFit Obsession", the question begs:
Is "The REAL CrossFit Obsession" apart of the CF, Inc.?
The business license under the name CrossFit Obsession still has Luke as the owner and the domain name owner is being protected from whois searches. The affiliates page does not have them listed for Virginia Beach like the rest of the affiliates. The only thing that makes sense is that this gym is CrossFit Corporate owned and appears to be exempt of all the rules that paying affiliates have to go through. Makes you wonder if other affiliates will get the same protective treatment if their boxes were to go under. No one protected CrossFit Staten Island when the owner had to shut down.
I choose to kill people with kindness. Oh, I should also mention "kindness" is the name of my samurai sword.Jay wrote:BTW, warriors kill shit. The only things you kill are exercise science and the board short display at Target.
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Shapecharge »
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Re: The couch thread
Post by JamesonBushmill »
It is 99% about building relationships of trust, and 1% about knowing your stuff. = We acknowledge we are not a sport, but adult daycare.Yes I Have Balls wrote:The real Level 1 Cert - equal parts bartender, therapist and wingman. No coaching experience wanted.A year into owning an affiliate, I know that truer words have never been spoken. It is 99% about building relationships of trust, and 1% about knowing your stuff.
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