IGX

Danny John wrote:When I heard that "he" said "Dan John has no squat," that still remains the oddest thing ever said about me. I admit, I struggle with Air Squats, but when you look over my body of work as an athlete (605 Back Squat for three Olympic Style, no belt, no wraps, deep), a competitive, on the platform, at a meet, snatch with 314, hundreds of Front Squats over 400) and my work with athletes (I invented the Goblet Squat long before, like the Slosh Pipe, it was invented by someone else...just because "you say so" on your website doesn't make it true), it is simply silly.

I have another skill: I can stand motionless while talking.

T200 wrote:

PeterNorth wrote:How did you knobs miss this:

http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Agai ... rious7.wmv

The best is how the guy at the start is bragging about creating something awesome, how proud he is, and then you discover it is high rep heavy weightlifting in a fatigued state with dumb rules (hands stay on bar, bouncing allowed, seriously bouncing cleans, no proper setup possible). Injury remains not a mathematical reality despite people taking knees, almost smashing knees into elbows. 40 seconds/7 reps so about 5 seconds a rep, awesome. What the hell is a 7 rep max clean. No one even says anything in comments either except praise. It's honestly amazing.

Edit: Couch has a squat, unlike Dan John http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... review.wmv

Firstly, how did this homo escape the pink name?

Secondly, that Gaymes video was fucking awesome. So much amusement in one short clip.

Hank Scorpio wrote:Second vid: GL-Assman says "I don't want to develop a culture of meta-squatters...Just squat." Jesus Nigger Christ that was some ridiculous shit.

JohnnyBadAss wrote:

Hank Scorpio wrote:Second vid: GL-Assman says "I don't want to develop a culture of meta-squatters...Just squat." Jesus Nigger Christ that was some ridiculous shit.

I'm not even sure what a meta-squatter is.

Danny John wrote:
I have another skill: I can stand motionless while talking.

Christopher Fiser wrote:If I hadn't found crossfit:

- I'd have $1,150 more in my checking account
- I'd still have two functioning shoulders
- I'd still be able to squat 395 x 3
- I'd never have been talked into the "Zone" and lost around 10lbs of hard earned muscle.
- I'd have never been told by a trainer that "bench press is lame, it's non-functional."
- I'd have never learned that a snatch is actually a row and a shoulder press.
- I'd have never found such great looking "ladies" in the gym that know more about steroids than I do.

Jason wrote:The guy from teh first video: http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Agai ... rious7.wmv

Keeps talking about how he wanted to test the short energy system. He then develops a workout that's 7 minutes long.

That's an educated trainer right there.

Yes I Have Balls wrote:Classic luls from another one of the indoctrinated when commenting on what to expect the first day at a new affiliate:

You'll look at the length of the workout and think that it'll never work, it's too short, there's some strange movements here, and that an air squat is no big deal. Then you should be shown how to properly execute the moves. You should be scaled until those moves are pretty easy for about 3-5 reps. Then you'll hear those words you'll learn to love to hate....."3...2...1....GO!!" You'll work balls to the wall for about 8-20 minutes depending on the workout. You'll be amazingly humbled by an air squat or a 200 meter run. After you finish and catch your breath, you'll stretch, talk about what a great time you had. You'll watch your name and score go on the whiteboard.

What will really happen:

You show up 5 minutes early expecting to find a professional gym with a front desk and someone to greet you and a locker room to keep your gear in. What you find instead is a run-down looking warehouse with the parking lot full of already shirtless men standing around comparing tattoos and wallet chains. A very loud stereo is blasting inappropriate rap music loud enough for you not to understand the 5’10” 165 lb “trainer” when he walks up to take your payment information and have you sign the year long contract with Electronic Funds Transfer of course. You don’t really have much time to read through the contract or question why a gym membership costs $200 per month before the “trainer” shoves an injury waiver in your face and laughs while joking about his Uncle Pookie and, you think, the Sylvester Stallone movie “Rambo.”

The “Trainer” ushers you into the warehouse where you find 6-8 very skinny guys talking about how they “murdered Fran” last week. There will be at least 3 people standing around taking pictures as well. The “trainer” has you throw a PVC pipe around for 5 minutes, advises you to “chalk up” and then tells you that the workout of the day (you all have the same exact workout) is something called Murph – which is a mile run on either side of 100 pullups, pushups and squats. You start to ask the trainer if this workout is appropriate for a beginner like yourself – he replies that The CrossFit program is designed for universal scalability making it the perfect application for any committed individual regardless of experience. We’ve used our same routines for elderly individuals with heart disease and cage fighters one month out from televised bouts. We scale load and intensity; we don’t change programs. While trying to figure out what the fuck that means, your hear some douche bag scream 3-2-1 GO! and a starter gun goes off. People rush past you pushing you to the ground on the way out the warehouse door – this must be it then? A timed bodyweight workout starting with a mile run ….

Three days later you’ll wake up in the hospital having just been let out of Intensive Care. The last thing you remember is stumbling home after working out – then later that night not being able to straighten out your arms and your wife being concerned that something was wrong when your skin turned a yellow-ish brown.

Welcome to Crossfit – the journey has just begun. No refunds.

Danny John wrote:The CC feature has given me more information than I have ever wanted to see. I wish I would have kept that one from Greg Glassman wrote about practically everyone. I will dig around.

Dick the Bruiser wrote:quick question: Why am I pink?

Yes I Have Balls wrote:

Dick the Bruiser wrote:quick question: Why am I pink?

Because you suck dick.