The couch thread
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Re: The couch thread
Post by KingSchmaltzBagelHour »
It seemed really gay, though.
That guy in the first part of the clip, the one talking, needs punched in the fucking eye.
What a self important douchebag.
Barbell nobility restored.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGCHDUJtkts
KingSchmaltzBagelHour
Re: The couch thread
Your squat is lovely, here's where you failed.Danny John wrote:When I heard that "he" said "Dan John has no squat," that still remains the oddest thing ever said about me. I admit, I struggle with Air Squats, but when you look over my body of work as an athlete (605 Back Squat for three Olympic Style, no belt, no wraps, deep), a competitive, on the platform, at a meet, snatch with 314, hundreds of Front Squats over 400) and my work with athletes (I invented the Goblet Squat long before, like the Slosh Pipe, it was invented by someone else...just because "you say so" on your website doesn't make it true), it is simply silly.
I have another skill: I can stand motionless while talking.
1. You still compete in a sport. This alone disqualifies you across broad time and modal domains.
2. While your squat is divine, do you draw squiggly stick figures and write 55 page chapters on the squat? No.
Owning a gym is more birthday party than physics class (IOW, get your clients drunk and laid and they'll keep coming back) but certs are the reverse; make them think this is really complicated stuff that one will never truly understand without shelling out $1000.
3. You put on a demonstration/seminar and didn't get Couch blown by a participant. Physics class for the attendees, birthday party for Couch.
ALWAYS a party for Couch.

Thud
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Hank Scorpio »
First vid: LMAO at those fucking pussies getting pinned under less than 2 wheels.T200 wrote:Firstly, how did this homo escape the pink name?PeterNorth wrote:How did you knobs miss this:
http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Agai ... rious7.wmv
The best is how the guy at the start is bragging about creating something awesome, how proud he is, and then you discover it is high rep heavy weightlifting in a fatigued state with dumb rules (hands stay on bar, bouncing allowed, seriously bouncing cleans, no proper setup possible). Injury remains not a mathematical reality despite people taking knees, almost smashing knees into elbows. 40 seconds/7 reps so about 5 seconds a rep, awesome. What the hell is a 7 rep max clean. No one even says anything in comments either except praise. It's honestly amazing.
Edit: Couch has a squat, unlike Dan John http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... review.wmv
Secondly, that Gaymes video was fucking awesome. So much amusement in one short clip.
Second vid: GL-Assman says "I don't want to develop a culture of meta-squatters...Just squat." Jesus Nigger Christ that was some ridiculous shit.

You have no chance to survive make your time.
Ha Ha Ha Ha ....
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Re: The couch thread
Post by JohnnyBadAss »
I'm not even sure what a meta-squatter is.Hank Scorpio wrote:Second vid: GL-Assman says "I don't want to develop a culture of meta-squatters...Just squat." Jesus Nigger Christ that was some ridiculous shit.
JohnnyBadAss
Re: The couch thread
It's when your squat is squat.JohnnyBadAss wrote:I'm not even sure what a meta-squatter is.Hank Scorpio wrote:Second vid: GL-Assman says "I don't want to develop a culture of meta-squatters...Just squat." Jesus Nigger Christ that was some ridiculous shit.
Botototo
Re: The couch thread
Danny John wrote:
I have another skill: I can stand motionless while talking.
LOL! =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>
Kazuya Mishima wrote:they can pry the bacon from my cold dead hand.
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Yes I Have Balls »
Christopher Fiser wrote:If I hadn't found crossfit:
- I'd have $1,150 more in my checking account
- I'd still have two functioning shoulders
- I'd still be able to squat 395 x 3
- I'd never have been talked into the "Zone" and lost around 10lbs of hard earned muscle.
- I'd have never been told by a trainer that "bench press is lame, it's non-functional."
- I'd have never learned that a snatch is actually a row and a shoulder press.
- I'd have never found such great looking "ladies" in the gym that know more about steroids than I do.
Yes I Have Balls
T200
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Anon
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Re: The couch thread
Miss Piggy wrote:Never eat more than you can lift.
syaigh
Re: The couch thread
Keeps talking about how he wanted to test the short energy system. He then develops a workout that's 7 minutes long.
That's an educated trainer right there.
Jason
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Mountebank »
Please to fix linky. No work.Jason wrote:The guy from teh first video: http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Agai ... rious7.wmv
Keeps talking about how he wanted to test the short energy system. He then develops a workout that's 7 minutes long.
That's an educated trainer right there.
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Yes I Have Balls »
Not shocked at all:Yes I Have Balls wrote:Classic luls from another one of the indoctrinated when commenting on what to expect the first day at a new affiliate:
What will really happen:You'll look at the length of the workout and think that it'll never work, it's too short, there's some strange movements here, and that an air squat is no big deal. Then you should be shown how to properly execute the moves. You should be scaled until those moves are pretty easy for about 3-5 reps. Then you'll hear those words you'll learn to love to hate....."3...2...1....GO!!" You'll work balls to the wall for about 8-20 minutes depending on the workout. You'll be amazingly humbled by an air squat or a 200 meter run. After you finish and catch your breath, you'll stretch, talk about what a great time you had. You'll watch your name and score go on the whiteboard.
You show up 5 minutes early expecting to find a professional gym with a front desk and someone to greet you and a locker room to keep your gear in. What you find instead is a run-down looking warehouse with the parking lot full of already shirtless men standing around comparing tattoos and wallet chains. A very loud stereo is blasting inappropriate rap music loud enough for you not to understand the 5’10” 165 lb “trainer” when he walks up to take your payment information and have you sign the year long contract with Electronic Funds Transfer of course. You don’t really have much time to read through the contract or question why a gym membership costs $200 per month before the “trainer” shoves an injury waiver in your face and laughs while joking about his Uncle Pookie and, you think, the Sylvester Stallone movie “Rambo.”
The “Trainer” ushers you into the warehouse where you find 6-8 very skinny guys talking about how they “murdered Fran” last week. There will be at least 3 people standing around taking pictures as well. The “trainer” has you throw a PVC pipe around for 5 minutes, advises you to “chalk up” and then tells you that the workout of the day (you all have the same exact workout) is something called Murph – which is a mile run on either side of 100 pullups, pushups and squats. You start to ask the trainer if this workout is appropriate for a beginner like yourself – he replies that The CrossFit program is designed for universal scalability making it the perfect application for any committed individual regardless of experience. We’ve used our same routines for elderly individuals with heart disease and cage fighters one month out from televised bouts. We scale load and intensity; we don’t change programs. While trying to figure out what the fuck that means, your hear some douche bag scream 3-2-1 GO! and a starter gun goes off. People rush past you pushing you to the ground on the way out the warehouse door – this must be it then? A timed bodyweight workout starting with a mile run ….
Three days later you’ll wake up in the hospital having just been let out of Intensive Care. The last thing you remember is stumbling home after working out – then later that night not being able to straighten out your arms and your wife being concerned that something was wrong when your skin turned a yellow-ish brown.
Welcome to Crossfit – the journey has just begun. No refunds.
Vanishing Pull-ups/possible Rabdo!
I regularly perform 100 PU workouts. But after a month or so off, I tried to knock out the following:1 mile run, 100 PU, 200 Push Ups, 300 Squats, 1 mile run.
I didnt feel particularly bad at the time, but the next day I experienced extreme bicept and Lat pain (unable to straiten arms or raise them overhead), nausea, and brown colored urine. Those symtoms are concurent with rabdo...but I am not a doctor.
So I hydrated/rested...and within 4 days the pain, nausea, and urine was gone. I felt back to normal. So yesterday, I jumped on the bar, and to my astonishment, could not perform 1 single pull up. I had no pain, no discomfort, nothing. It was almost like the muscle was just gone. I am 26 years old and have never been unable to perform a pull up. It has been 10 days since the initial work out. What happened to me? Has the muscle deteriorated? Do I have to start back at square 1? Any help would be appreciated.
http://board.crossfit.com/showthread.php?t=56762
Yes I Have Balls
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Danny John »
Or, more logically, it is a poor attempt at trolling. If it is Gary's work, I am a bit less than impressed as we have come to expect more from him.
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Re: The couch thread
Post by WildGorillaMan »
WildGorillaMan
Re: The couch thread
Concise rhetoric.
More news coming up shortly (couple of days) on the latest Glasshole adeventures.
And no, you don't get to see the emails. Remember, be careful with the 'cc function when you just pissed on someone's shoe.

Gary John
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Danny John »
Danny John
Re: The couch thread
Danny John wrote:The CC feature has given me more information than I have ever wanted to see. I wish I would have kept that one from Greg Glassman wrote about practically everyone. I will dig around.
I take back what I said about you being fun to drink with. And tell your big brother that I'm not scared of him.
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Yes I Have Balls »


Now because of so many complaints, the organizers are offering refunds with a receipt. The problem is if you paid cash at the venue they didn't give you a receipt and have no idea if you were there or not.

http://games2010.crossfit.com/blog/2010 ... lay-heats/
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Dick the Bruiser »
Edit:
upon posting, I did receive my answer!
Dick the Bruiser
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Yes I Have Balls »
Dick the Bruiser wrote:quick question: Why am I pink?
Because you suck dick.
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Dick the Bruiser »
Is that the real answer or are you just wanting me to slap your mouth shut?Yes I Have Balls wrote:Dick the Bruiser wrote:quick question: Why am I pink?
Because you suck dick.
Dick the Bruiser