The couch thread
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seeahill
Re: The couch thread
I'm not the only one who knows about the shit I post. Would appreciate some backup.
Bring on the hate.

Gary John
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Re: The couch thread
Post by dead man walking »
a couple of you guys need to go undercover, joining an x-fit gym, attending certs, and returning with inside info. if you're not old, fat, and ugly (like shaf, for example), you'll get it wet regularly, which seems fair compensation for the assignment.
no disrespect intended, but the inside stuff is hearsay. we've beeb given no tapes--video or audio--from the inside, not that i know of. only a couple of innocent stills.Gary John wrote:We have already been there done that.
we need an intrepid person who intends full penetration of the cult. while admiring of gorillaman's work, i look forward to the day when a mole emerges with high-resolution evidence of titz 'n azz 'n a gin-soaked cooch.
Really Big Strong Guy: There are a plethora of psychopaths among us.
dead man walking
Re: The couch thread
...Paddy O'Furniture wrote:or using a 95 pound barbell to simulate carrying a cross through 14 stations in 'The Jesus WOD'...
http://www.sicfit.com/video/main/show/i ... 4-Stations
These motherfuckers took their stupid shit way too far.
POD
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Re: The couch thread
Post by DrDonkeyLove »
Look at the end of the Jesus W.O.D. where the quote is Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam = For The Greater Glory Of God, followed by an @fitter lying in a cruciform position like the crucified Lord. @Fit has become a spiritual tool to identify with the sufferings of Christ while simultaneously getting a great Crossfit ass and ripped up hands - or is it stigmata. This should be in a Christopher Moore novel instead of real life.POD wrote:...Paddy O'Furniture wrote:or using a 95 pound barbell to simulate carrying a cross through 14 stations in 'The Jesus WOD'...
http://www.sicfit.com/video/main/show/i ... 4-Stations
These motherfuckers took their stupid shit way too far.
Mao wrote:Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun. Our principle is that the Party commands the gun, and the gun must never be allowed to command the Party
DrDonkeyLove
Thud
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Re: The couch thread
Post by DrDonkeyLove »
=D> =D> =D> =D> =D>Thud wrote:The Passion of The Couch
Mao wrote:Political power grows out of the barrel of a gun. Our principle is that the Party commands the gun, and the gun must never be allowed to command the Party
DrDonkeyLove
Re: The couch thread
There have been so many "Jesus did Crossfit" jokes that this was inevitable.DrDonkeyLove wrote:Look at the end of the Jesus W.O.D. where the quote is Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam = For The Greater Glory Of God, followed by an @fitter lying in a cruciform position like the crucified Lord. @Fit has become a spiritual tool to identify with the sufferings of Christ while simultaneously getting a great Crossfit ass and ripped up hands - or is it stigmata. This should be in a Christopher Moore novel instead of real life.POD wrote:...Paddy O'Furniture wrote:or using a 95 pound barbell to simulate carrying a cross through 14 stations in 'The Jesus WOD'...
http://www.sicfit.com/video/main/show/i ... 4-Stations
These motherfuckers took their stupid shit way too far.
GoDogGo!
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Dan Martin »
Jesus was a bodybuilder.GoDogGo! wrote:There have been so many "Jesus did Crossfit" jokes that this was inevitable.DrDonkeyLove wrote:Look at the end of the Jesus W.O.D. where the quote is Ad Maiorem Dei Gloriam = For The Greater Glory Of God, followed by an @fitter lying in a cruciform position like the crucified Lord. @Fit has become a spiritual tool to identify with the sufferings of Christ while simultaneously getting a great Crossfit ass and ripped up hands - or is it stigmata. This should be in a Christopher Moore novel instead of real life.POD wrote:...Paddy O'Furniture wrote:or using a 95 pound barbell to simulate carrying a cross through 14 stations in 'The Jesus WOD'...
http://www.sicfit.com/video/main/show/i ... 4-Stations
These motherfuckers took their stupid shit way too far.
Dan Martin
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Turdacious »
=D> =D> =D>Thud wrote:The Passion of The Couch
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Re: The couch thread
Post by The Real Rant »
Like Spells said this thread used to drop into the second page all the time and then some interesting tidbit would get the ball rolling again. There would be some continuity to the discussion. Now it’s all over the fucking place with these 500 word copy downs from the @fit site. You newbies need to settle down and only post when there is something worthwhile to post. For fuck sake ever time Couch farts you cunts post 700 word comments about the implication of the event. And what’s with andro Friday? What is this? Its pure tedium and a waste of bandwidth. You recent @fit refuges are ruining a classic thread. I implore you to impose a moratorium on your insipid postings. You should not be posting on the couch thread daily or even weekly. Some of you have >90% of your post in the couch thread. This is wrong. Something is wrong with you people. Move around to other threads and get well rounded. Sharpen your game and then when something funny about @fit comes along then you can post it.
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Re: The couch thread
Post by The Real Rant »
Show some respect for your IGX elders. If it weren't for the likes of Shaf you would have no couch thread.WildGorillaMan wrote: Well fuck, what have either of you done lately to post otherwise?
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Re: The couch thread
Post by The Real Rant »
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Yes I Have Balls »

Yes I Have Balls
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Re: The couch thread
Post by WildGorillaMan »
The Real Rant wrote:I am calling for a moratorium on andro Friday.
A moratorium, eh? Will it be as binding as when you severed all formal ties to igx?
WildGorillaMan
Re: The couch thread
nafod
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Re: The couch thread
Topics in the last ten pages that you have failed to discuss or understand whatsoever:
1. A @fit affiliate was guaranteed geographical exclusivity despite Couch's assertions that "there can be one on every corner like Starbucks". When Couch went back on his promise and de-affiliated this group for doing awful things including greenlighting a newbie fighter and breaking his nose, this affiliate decided to sue Couch and the case is going to court.
2. Affiliates are only required to carry liability insurance that also protects the hive. @F trainers are not required to show that they have any knowledge of knowing how to safely train invididuals, have any basic safety or first aid equipment on site, or be certified in AED, First Aid, or CPR. Affiliates can train any individuals regardless of age, medical condition, or disability and are not required or encouraged to have clients fill out Par-Q, medical history, et. Why is this important? It just is. Most certifications require basic Red Cross certification, most personal trainers work out of a commercial gym with first aid, etc. equipment available as well as CPR/First Aid/AED certified individuals. Most gyms have an AED present. Now you have hundreds of these gyms encouraging folks to push themselves to their outer stress limits and most of them have no knowledge of proper scaling, physiology, or what to do when said person collapses in front of them. Dede's affiliate owner was a registered nurse, but this is not the norm. At my level 1 cert, I asked multiple times how to teach the "train wrecks" and they smiled and gave me some rote answer that had nothing to do with my question. All of their examples of potential clients were physically competent people with different limits of strength and conditioning. They are NOT teaching the coaches how to deal with the general public, only potential games competitors and they don't even discuss training for this. There is NO direct discussion of appropriate scaling for real people, when to set limits, etc. Appropriate safety of the "first do no harm" variety is absolutely not a part of the @F level one cert. I know of an affiliate owner who took a young healthy man, decided to train him for the gaymes, and broke his back because he has no knowledge of how to scale, periodize, or correct basic form issues.
3. Diet recommendations of Zone are completely against all the published and peer-reviewed science on performance nutrition. It is covered for about 15 minutes in the cert. A friend of mine who trained at another affiliate was told, as a 120 lb female, that she was to consume 8 blocks a day. That's 800-1200 calories. How do you destroy a body and create eating disorders? Train them hard and ask them to starve themselves. The weak ones can't build muscle on this diet enough to raise their metabolism so it doesn't work, the strong ones lose all their muscle mass and start to injure their joints and end up thinking they need to be tougher or foam roll more. Why do @fitters need all the interventional therapy, (they seem to be a bit obsessed if you haven't noticed)? Because their diets cause muscle wasting.
Discuss. This is worth discussing. The second one, if explored properly is extremely important, especially to accrediting bodies that are worth a damn.
Edited to add this: I don't think that being "certified" is necessarily important if you have the knowledge and experience to train people without injuring them. However, having a "certification" that teaches you nothing about training safely and allows you to open your own gym with a well advertised name, is misleading to the public who generally has no knowledge of what a trainer should know.
Miss Piggy wrote:Never eat more than you can lift.
syaigh
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Dan Martin »
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Re: The couch thread
Post by powerlifter54 »
Yeah, all you morons that keep posting the same things on this thread over and over and over and over are all secretly gay for crossfit, but are afraid to come out of the closet.nafod wrote:I think all you morons that keep posting the same things on this thread over and over and over and over are all secretly gay for crossfit, but are afraid to come out of the closet.
"But even snake wrestling beats life in the cube, for me at least. In measured doses."-Lex
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Shafpocalypse Now »
Holy black jesus. I'm speechless!Paddy O'Furniture wrote:
or using a 95 pound barbell to simulate carrying a cross through 14 stations in 'The Jesus WOD'...
http://www.sicfit.com/video/main/show/i ... 4-Stations
My thirst will never be slaked as long as @fit continues on its current path.
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Re: The couch thread
Post by WildGorillaMan »
Shafpocalypse Now wrote:Holy black jesus. I'm speechless!Paddy O'Furniture wrote:
or using a 95 pound barbell to simulate carrying a cross through 14 stations in 'The Jesus WOD'...
http://www.sicfit.com/video/main/show/i ... 4-Stations
My thirst will never be slaked as long as @fit continues on its current path.
I finally watched that. Gorilla Jesus weeps.
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Re: The couch thread
Post by Shafpocalypse Now »
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Re: The couch thread
Post by MonkeyJesus »
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Yes I Have Balls