The couch thread

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TerryB
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Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:http://www.steroidtimes.com/progenex-ma ... costs/2010

Hey Crossfitters

Progenex is selling you $6 worth of protein for $60!

Not to mention you're paying $120-$200 a month for $5 worth of training.
=D> =D> =D>

I like how they spend $0 on research and development. Why bother when you can sell whey concentrate to complete morons for $60?
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:Cohen will turn out to be as unable to hang as Schreiber.
Oh fuck, now you've done it.
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basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.

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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

I'm glad you quoted that.

Isn't Cohen married with kids though, so we won't have to undergo that terrible whining Scheiber's uterus was doing?

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powerlifter54
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Re: The couch thread

Post by powerlifter54 »

Ash Uber Alles wrote:on the first day of christmas Couch gave me to me, rhabdo from the GHD

on the second day of christmas Couch gave to me, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the third day of christmas Couch gave to me, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the fourth day of christmas Couch gave to me, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the fifth day of christmas Couch gave to me...... 5 ER visits
4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the sixth day of christmas Couch gave to me, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the seventh day of xmas Couch gave to me, 7 bad form thrusters, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears, and rhabdo from the GHD

on the eighth day of xmas Couch gave to me, 8 stupid chippers, 7 bad form thrusters, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap years and rhabdo from the GHD

on the ninth day of xmas Couch gave to me, 9(00) jumping pullups, 8 stupid chippers, 7 bad form thrusters, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the tenth day of xmas Couch gave to me, 10 barefoot o-lifts, 9(00) jumping pullups, 8 stupid chippers, 7 bad form thrusters, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the eleventh day of xmas Couch gave to me, 11 days with no rest, 10 barefoot o-lifts, 9(00) jumping pullups, 8 stupid chippers, 7 bad form thrusters, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the twelfth day of xmas Couch gave to me, 12 new insurance claims, 11 days with no rest, 10 barefoot o-lifts, 9(00) jumping pullups, 8 stupid chippers, 7 bad form thrusters, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD...............................

Enjoy the ditty.
Love this stuff, mine from last year. All join in!
The Twelve days of @mas...

The First Day of @mas
Couch Glassman sent to me
Rhabdo right after pukie.


The second day of @mas
Couch Glassman sent to me
Two ccs of test, and
Rhabdo right after pukie.


The Third Day of @mas
Couch Glassman sent to me
Three tramp stamps,
Two ccs of test, and
Rhabdo right after pukie.



The Fourth Day of @mas
Couch Glassman sent to me
Four tribal tats,
Three tramp stamps,
Two ccs of test, and
Rhabdo right after pukie.



The Fifth Day of @mas
Five K from the RRG,
Four tribal tats,
Three tramp stamps,
Two ccs of test, and
Rhabdo right after pukie.



The Sixth Day of @mas
Couch Glassman sent to me
Six SMEs a-straying,
Five K from the RRG,
Four tribal tats,
Three tramp stamps,
Two ccs of test, and
Rhabdo right after pukie.



The Seventh Day of @mas
Couch Glassman sent to me
Seven rubes a rowing,
Six SMEs a-straying,
Five K from the RRG,
Four tribal tats,
Three tramp stamps,
Two ccs of test, and
Rhabdo right after pukie.



The Eighth Day of @mas
Couch Glassman sent to me
Eight blocks of paleo,
Seven rubes a rowing,
Six SMEs a-straying,
Five K from the RRG,
Four tribal tats,
Three tramp stamps,
Two ccs of test, and
Rhabdo right after pukie.

The Ninth Day of @mas
Couch Glassman sent to me
Nine poles of PVC,
Eight blocks of paleo,
Seven rubes a rowing,
Six SMEs a-straying,
Five K from the RRG,
Four tribal tats,
Three tramp stamps,
Two ccs of test, and
Rhabdo right after pukie.



The Tenth Day of @mas
Couch Glassman sent to me
Ten thruster Hitlers,
Nine poles of PVC,
Eight blocks of paleo,
Seven rubes a rowing,
Six SMEs a-straying,
Five K from the RRG,
Four tribal tats,
Three tramp stamps,
Two ccs of test, and
Rhabdo right after pukie.

The Eleventh Day of @mas
Couch Glassman sent to me
Eleven “ladies” laying,
Ten thruster Hitlers,
Nine poles of PVC,
Eight blocks of paleo,
Seven rubes a rowing,
Six SMEs a-straying,
Five K from the RRG,
Four tribal tats,
Three tramp stamps,
Two ccs of test, and
Rhabdo right after pukie.



The twelfth day of Christmas
Couch Glassman sent to me
Twelve posts from Barry,
Eleven “ladies” laying,
Ten thruster Hitlers,
Nine poles of PVC,
Eight blocks of paleo,
Seven rubes a rowing,
Six SMEs a-straying,
Five K from the RRG,
Four tribal tats,
Three tramp stamps,
Two ccs of test, and
Rhabdo right after pukie.
~ Anonymous ~

Peace.
"Start slowly, then ease off". Tortuga Golden Striders Running Club, Pensacola 1984.

"But even snake wrestling beats life in the cube, for me at least. In measured doses."-Lex

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

I can feel the holiday spirit.
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basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Can anybody else spot anything odd about this income statement?

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basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Does bottle service at Diamondback's Gentleman's Club fall under General & Administration?

...because if it is, WildGorillaMedia is about to become a really fun place to work.
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You'll Hurt Your Back

basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.

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kreator
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Re: The couch thread

Post by kreator »

powerlifter54 wrote:Twelve posts from Barry,

Whatever happened to Barry? Does he still train people in their living rooms?


TerryB
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Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

WildGorillaMan wrote:Can anybody else spot anything odd about this income statement?
It's blue. What kind of serious business man prints financial reports on pastel paper?
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"

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Grandpa's Spells
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Grandpa's Spells »

WildGorillaMan wrote:Can anybody else spot anything odd about this income statement?

Image
They're selling protein powder at a 10x markup but losing $1M+/year.
One of the downsides of the Internet is that it allows like-minded people to form communities, and sometimes those communities are stupid.


Abandoned by Wolves
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Abandoned by Wolves »

Ash Uber Alles wrote:on the first day of christmas Couch gave me to me, rhabdo from the GHD

on the second day of christmas Couch gave to me, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the third day of christmas Couch gave to me, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the fourth day of christmas Couch gave to me, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the fifth day of christmas Couch gave to me...... 5 ER visits
4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the sixth day of christmas Couch gave to me, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the seventh day of xmas Couch gave to me, 7 bad form thrusters, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears, and rhabdo from the GHD

on the eighth day of xmas Couch gave to me, 8 stupid chippers, 7 bad form thrusters, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap years and rhabdo from the GHD

on the ninth day of xmas Couch gave to me, 9(00) jumping pullups, 8 stupid chippers, 7 bad form thrusters, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the tenth day of xmas Couch gave to me, 10 barefoot o-lifts, 9(00) jumping pullups, 8 stupid chippers, 7 bad form thrusters, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the eleventh day of xmas Couch gave to me, 11 days with no rest, 10 barefoot o-lifts, 9(00) jumping pullups, 8 stupid chippers, 7 bad form thrusters, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD

on the twelfth day of xmas Couch gave to me, 12 new insurance claims, 11 days with no rest, 10 barefoot o-lifts, 9(00) jumping pullups, 8 stupid chippers, 7 bad form thrusters, 6 failed PR's, 5 trips to ER, 4 ripped callouses, 3 bulging disks, 2 slap tears and rhabdo from the GHD...............................

Enjoy the ditty.

You are my hero. =D> =D> =D>
"I also think training like a Navy S.E.A.L. is stupid for the average person. I would say PT like an infantry unit, run, body weight stuff, hump a little, a little weights and enjoy life if you are not training for specifics." -tough old man

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Jay
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Jay »

thank you, thank you all very much....

And I am laughing at the Progenex saga unfold before our very eyes... Protein isn't expensive and for people to spend 60 bucks for what you can buy at 30 bucks for 5 pounds from Costco makes zero sense to me.

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buckethead
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Re: The couch thread

Post by buckethead »

Image

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Jay
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Jay »

BucketHead wrote:Image
yes, because we all know that having a killer filthy fifty time just screams BADASS!

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buckethead
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Re: The couch thread

Post by buckethead »

What cracks me up is that profanity is encouraged to say out loud. But don't write it out

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Holland Oates
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Holland Oates »

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:I'm glad you quoted that.

Isn't Cohen married with kids though, so we won't have to undergo that terrible whining Scheiber's uterus was doing?
LMFAO
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powerlifter54
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Re: The couch thread

Post by powerlifter54 »

BucketHead wrote:Image
1. Show up.
2. Shut up.
3. Step up.
"Start slowly, then ease off". Tortuga Golden Striders Running Club, Pensacola 1984.

"But even snake wrestling beats life in the cube, for me at least. In measured doses."-Lex

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Yes I Have Balls
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Yes I Have Balls »

I feel like people who make a lot of noise in the weight room are narcissistic attention wh**res.

Grunts are fine. Screaming during or after a lift isn't.
Honest to God post at @Fit, complaining about other people being narcissistic.

:rolleyes:


http://www.board.crossfit.com/showthrea ... 349&page=2

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Danny John
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Danny John »

Those gym rules would look fairly bad in a court case. I'm not sure if it is "indefensible" or "undefensible," but I wouldn't want to be trying to explain those away. "Passing out" as "rest" is funny and I get it, but I wouldn't want that on my record in a case.

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powerlifter54
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Re: The couch thread

Post by powerlifter54 »

WGM Dec 8 Throwers edition. Props.

"Throwin Blocky"
They see me throwin'
They hatin'
Ab rollin'
And tryin to catch me throwin blocky
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blcoky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.

My distance so long;
I'm sayin'.
They hopin'
That they gon' catch me throwin blocky
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.

pretenders think they can see me lean;
I'm fast so it ain't easy to be seen.
For me to sprint by, they can see the glean
And da shine on my medal on da TV screen.
i'm the hot chick, the real "real thing"
More Elite fitnessin just one shoulda'
There's creatine in my coca cola;
send a DB into a coma.
Girl, you know, I aint crazy like Barky;
Just tryin' to make you horny, ain't tryin' to have no babies.
Ride clean as hell and pull more than dem skinny ladies.
Social X-Rays on patrol; you know they hate me.
all psyched and turned all the way up to the maximum;
I can speak for some WGMs tryin' to jack for some.
But we packin' somethin' that we have
And, um, will have a 'rilla jacked to the maximum
In the circle, i got my implement.
Ipod loud and message sent.
Twins steady, twistin' so i make some dough;
haters Pull up from behind and im crouchin' low.
Elbows down, gotta launch one.
last throw for gold; here to win "not for seducin''?"
This the real deal when we out and throwin'
Got Meets in every city except Houston
But I still ain't losin'.

They see me throwin';
They hatin'.
Ab rollin'
And tryin. to catch me throwin blocky
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blcoky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
My pix are so great;
I'm throwin'.
They hopin'...
"Start slowly, then ease off". Tortuga Golden Striders Running Club, Pensacola 1984.

"But even snake wrestling beats life in the cube, for me at least. In measured doses."-Lex

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Yes I Have Balls
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Yes I Have Balls »

Danny John wrote:Those gym rules would look fairly bad in a court case. I'm not sure if it is "indefensible" or "undefensible," but I wouldn't want to be trying to explain those away. "Passing out" as "rest" is funny and I get it, but I wouldn't want that on my record in a case.
Psssshhhh! All is well, they have the RRG money.......right?

:-k

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The Nightman
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The Nightman »

Yes I Have Balls wrote:
Danny John wrote:Those gym rules would look fairly bad in a court case. I'm not sure if it is "indefensible" or "undefensible," but I wouldn't want to be trying to explain those away. "Passing out" as "rest" is funny and I get it, but I wouldn't want that on my record in a case.
Psssshhhh! All is well, they have the RRG money.......right?

:-k
Any judge and jury that would rule against them needs a healthy dose of STFU Therapy.


tzg
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Joined: Fri Jul 09, 2010 2:34 pm

Re: The couch thread

Post by tzg »

powerlifter54 wrote:WGM Dec 8 Throwers edition. Props.

"Throwin Blocky"
They see me throwin'
They hatin'
Ab rollin'
And tryin to catch me throwin blocky
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blcoky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.

My distance so long;
I'm sayin'.
They hopin'
That they gon' catch me throwin blocky
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.

pretenders think they can see me lean;
I'm fast so it ain't easy to be seen.
For me to sprint by, they can see the glean
And da shine on my medal on da TV screen.
i'm the hot chick, the real "real thing"
More Elite fitnessin just one shoulda'
There's creatine in my coca cola;
send a DB into a coma.
Girl, you know, I aint crazy like Barky;
Just tryin' to make you horny, ain't tryin' to have no babies.
Ride clean as hell and pull more than dem skinny ladies.
Social X-Rays on patrol; you know they hate me.
all psyched and turned all the way up to the maximum;
I can speak for some WGMs tryin' to jack for some.
But we packin' somethin' that we have
And, um, will have a 'rilla jacked to the maximum
In the circle, i got my implement.
Ipod loud and message sent.
Twins steady, twistin' so i make some dough;
haters Pull up from behind and im crouchin' low.
Elbows down, gotta launch one.
last throw for gold; here to win "not for seducin''?"
This the real deal when we out and throwin'
Got Meets in every city except Houston
But I still ain't losin'.

They see me throwin';
They hatin'.
Ab rollin'
And tryin. to catch me throwin blocky
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blcoky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
Tryin' to catch me throwin' blocky.
My pix are so great;
I'm throwin'.
They hopin'...
That is the greatest thing I have seen in quite a while. I used to train at the university gym at the same time as some of the female throwers. They were intense. One of that crew trains at the same gym as me now: still intense.

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Yes I Have Balls
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Yes I Have Balls »

I'm sure it's been mentioned here that next year, the Gaymes won't have actual sectional qualifying. Rather, they are going to go "video and individual box/garage" and you send in your "qualifying workout/audition" tape yourself.

This angers some of the sheep, and so couch *claps* back:
Couch wrote:
Every affiliate who hosted a sectional last year can again in 2011. So can any other affiliate who wants to, and anywhere they want to. Same is true of non-affiliates, anywhere and everywhere. Any athlete who competed last year can again this year, from the same venue, or one of their choosing, or from their garage or backyard. The price drops from $100 for a competitor in 2010 to $10 for US/Canada and $5 everywhere else in 2011.

Tyler Sullivan, #65, sees this as driven by money and characterizes this as a "decision to eliminate a path to well deserving athletes to gauge their own fitness."

We've dropped the price for participation by 90-95%, opened the hosting and competition to a universal market and many here characterize this as greed and restrictive.

This entire fitness concept was launched amid near universal derision and consternation. I'm quite comfortable making unpopular decisions that irritate the masses and dim-witted. I'm proud of the decisions we've made, the deliberative processes we've engaged, and our track record generally.

That so many of you are confused and angry by changes that reduce the threshold for competition and participation, for spectators and athletes alike, says more about you than it does CF's leadership or the community. It's long been a mantra here at HQ to "keep delivery ahead of expectations" and the din of naysayers here is but evidence that we're leading beyond the potential of some to see. All is well and as it should be if we're truly doing something remarkable, important, and good.
http://journal.crossfit.com/2010/12/sta ... l#comments

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baffled
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Re: The couch thread

Post by baffled »

Yes I Have Balls wrote:I'm sure it's been mentioned here that next year, the Gaymes won't have actual sectional qualifying. Rather, they are going to go "video and individual box/garage" and you send in your "qualifying workout/audition" tape yourself.

This angers some of the sheep, and so couch *claps* back:
Couch wrote:
Every affiliate who hosted a sectional last year can again in 2011. So can any other affiliate who wants to, and anywhere they want to. Same is true of non-affiliates, anywhere and everywhere. Any athlete who competed last year can again this year, from the same venue, or one of their choosing, or from their garage or backyard. The price drops from $100 for a competitor in 2010 to $10 for US/Canada and $5 everywhere else in 2011.

Tyler Sullivan, #65, sees this as driven by money and characterizes this as a "decision to eliminate a path to well deserving athletes to gauge their own fitness."

We've dropped the price for participation by 90-95%, opened the hosting and competition to a universal market and many here characterize this as greed and restrictive.

This entire fitness concept was launched amid near universal derision and consternation. I'm quite comfortable making unpopular decisions that irritate the masses and dim-witted. I'm proud of the decisions we've made, the deliberative processes we've engaged, and our track record generally.

That so many of you are confused and angry by changes that reduce the threshold for competition and participation, for spectators and athletes alike, says more about you than it does CF's leadership or the community. It's long been a mantra here at HQ to "keep delivery ahead of expectations" and the din of naysayers here is but evidence that we're leading beyond the potential of some to see. All is well and as it should be if we're truly doing something remarkable, important, and good.
http://journal.crossfit.com/2010/12/sta ... l#comments
You really can't underestimate teh value of calling those who line your coffers "dim witted".

On a side note. Did anyone else notice how wonderful this pic is from the Handstand Edition on WGMs blog?
Image
"Gentle in what you do, Firm in how you do it"
- Buck Brannaman

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