The couch thread

Schlegel · Post by **Schlegel** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 4:02 am

Drywall wrote:
It took me a while to pinpoint exactly what bugs the shit out of me most about this. It isn't the bullshit nature of the ridiculously fabricated story, it is that whoever posted it wouldn't do so unless they actually thought people would believe it sounded plausible. The combination of stupidity and arrogance is, well, just kind of sad.

It's kind of Fureyesque in its blatant manufactured ad copy. It lacks only the wizened oldster imparting the secret knowledge....

Out of breath, I was winded just from carrying a bag of groceries up the stairs to my townhouse. That's when I noticed the guy in a trenchcoat sitting by the steam grate.

"Hey, young fella, how would you like to be able to carry two grocery bags up those steps?"

Impossible, I scoffed to myself. What could this stubbly beggar know of true bag toting power? But nonetheless, I found myself intrigued by the idea, and I finally admitted-

"I wish I could, but I don't see how."

"I can show you how, but first you must prove yourself serious, and prove you are truly committed to eliteness."

"How do I do that?"

"You must buy me... a bottle of gin."

That night my life was changed forever.

Cave Canem · Post by **Cave Canem** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 5:41 am

CFB wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:I'd like to add this, since I know Shoreline's reading: Get your fucking elbows up!

: 08_15_09-scf-9.jpg (48.29 KiB) Viewed 8463 times

Words fail me.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:47 am

Cave Canem wrote:
CFB wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:I'd like to add this, since I know Shoreline's reading: Get your fucking elbows up!

Words fail me.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:49 am

For emphasis.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 12:07 pm

Genital warts mentioned in one comment some years ago. Not exactly a confirmation, but a funny addition to the goofiness of the trainwreck that is Shoreline. It's like the stupidest kid on the football team became a coach.

grip junky · Post by **grip junky** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 12:09 pm

I do not really have any hate for crossfit, I like to laugh at them, but I hate Shoreline crossfit. The women that runs that place is a english teacher, could you tell from her writing? I liked going there for a time because she had the strict librarian look going, but that has passed.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 12:18 pm

Yeah, that strict librarian thing gets me every time too. LULZ!

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 12:38 pm

Hot Librarian wrote:Mr. Gorilla, *takes off glasses, shakes out hair* Do you know what the penalty is for overdue library books?

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 1:11 pm

Sorry for the derailment, The Gorilla loses all self control at the thought of librarians.

Abandoned by Wolves · Post by **Abandoned by Wolves** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 3:40 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Cave Canem wrote:
CFB wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:I'd like to add this, since I know Shoreline's reading: Get your fucking elbows up!

Words fail me.

It's like that classic line from Red Green ..."(She) means well...she just doesn't do well."

Jesus, every tendon and ligament in my elbows and back flinched when I saw this.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 3:44 pm

So, 65lb anything is eelet now?

Kazuya Mishima · Post by **Kazuya Mishima** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 3:48 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:So, 65lb anything is eelet now?

If that...I've got $20 says it's an aluminum bar.

Kazuya Mishima · Post by **Kazuya Mishima** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 3:50 pm

In her defense, that's probably a thruster and not a clean.

Shitty exercises don't have proper form.

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 3:52 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Cave Canem wrote:
CFB wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:I'd like to add this, since I know Shoreline's reading: Get your fucking elbows up!

Words fail me.

Alas, the gorilla weeps.

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 3:54 pm

Kazuya Mishima wrote:In her defense, that's probably a thruster and not a clean.

Shitty exercises don't have proper form.

Of course it's a thruster -- she's MURDERING FRAN AS RX!!!!!!!!

Mickey O'neil · Post by **Mickey O'neil** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 6:20 pm

Cave Canem wrote:
CFB wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:I'd like to add this, since I know Shoreline's reading: Get your fucking elbows up!

08_15_09-scf-9.jpg

Words fail me.

That's just fucking embarrassing.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 7:59 pm

Bad form fucking rules, doesn't it?

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 8:30 pm

Couch tells us, form breaks down at the boundaries of experience yo.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 9:31 pm

GammaRayGummo · Post by **GammaRayGummo** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 10:17 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:

I'd be more impressed if she crushed that med ball between her thighs like a melon.

Drywall · Post by **Drywall** » Tue Mar 15, 2011 11:03 pm

Full extension of the arms at the bottom? Negative.

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Wed Mar 16, 2011 12:09 am

The simian face palms...

L0L

Bobby · Post by **Bobby** » Wed Mar 16, 2011 1:30 am

And why not try to keep the body as motionless as possible?
Back to librarians,please!

powerlifter54 · Post by **powerlifter54** » Wed Mar 16, 2011 3:27 am

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Cave Canem wrote:
CFB wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:I'd like to add this, since I know Shoreline's reading: Get your fucking elbows up!

Words fail me.

So, 65lb anything is eelet now?

I am guessing she is closer to 90lbs if she kept the yogurt and flax oil down.

IGX

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