The couch thread

Cave Canem · Post by **Cave Canem** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:54 pm

j-cubed wrote:You know I didn't realize how big @fit has gotten, but I saw a SUV today with some big Crossfit sticker on the back. I tried to find their webpage from the main site. I found out my hometown, where the high school drew from 3 communities and my graduating class was 94 people, has a crossfit now.

From their web page
By Erin Okonek, Coach fo CrossFit Olympic Lifting Courses By definition, Crossfit workouts are constantly varied, functional movements, performed at a high intensity. More simply stated, "It is hard as F*@#! “ Yet these attributes do not sufficiently capture the true meaning of Crossfit and inadequately defend Crossfit to the copious amounts of other workout programs that people are bombarded with on a daily basis. Overall, Crossfit is not a workout program, it is a lifestyle. (I would personally go even further to state that it is my religion and therapy). Granted for some of us Crossfit addicts, it is about "chasing the rabbit", competing, and becoming a Firebreather, but most importantly, Crossfit, unlike other workout programs, makes us better overall people by creating strong, confident, and dedicated individuals. Finish Reading the article @ http://www.facebook.com/notes/crossfit- ... 3769510474

http://www.facebook.com/pages/CROSSFIT- ... 7665316500

I just threw up in my mouth a little.....You should really label those links "Not safe for thinking people"

ThespianDouche · Post by **ThespianDouche** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:35 pm

"Overall, Crossfit is not a workout program, it is a lifestyle. (I would personally go even further to state that it is my religion and therapy). "

CF is the Opus Dei of the training world.

Mountebank · Post by **Mountebank** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 12:58 am

OMFG. Calling Paul Wade...
The Prison Yard Games - Which Box will rule the Yard in 2011?

About the Games

The 2011 Prison Yard Games will take place on the grounds of the former maximum security prison in Lorton, Virginia (aka. "The Hill"). Field #3 at Laurel Hill Park, which is located off of Lorton Road.

What: A CrossFit competition unlike anything else you’ve ever done before.

When: September 24, 2011

Where:At the abandoned Maximum Security Prison In Lorton, Virginia

# of Events:4

WOD#1 “Inmate Processing”
WOD #2 “The Shank”
WOD#3 “The Shakedown”
WOD #4 “Escape Attempt”

Which Box will rule the Yard?

Zombomatic · Post by **Zombomatic** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 1:03 am

If "paul wade" got together with crossfit it might cause a reality-imploding singularity of stupid.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 1:23 am

You're making that up, Quack. That can't possibly be real.

kreator · Post by **kreator** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 2:51 am

http://www.facebook.com/CrossFitSportsS ... 1752494902
So, $6000 if you win a 5k race?

Three questions
a) where is all this money coming from?
b) are regular runners going to come and snatch this money from all the races, ruin the @fitters' fun, and then this thing will die?
c) is it just me or does Bmack remind you of one of those local car or mattress salesmen on primetime TV?
vid: http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... aPromo.mov

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3bMSdSNSA4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72M3E9HlzBY

friedquads · Post by **friedquads** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 3:07 am

WODs can include anything from:

1. Callisthenic body weight exercises
-squats, sit-ups, push-ups and burpees,

2. Using a variety of equipment
-medicine balls, kettlebells. sledgehammers and plyometric boxes

3. Gymnastic based movements
-ring dips and pull-ups

4. Weightlifting
-barbells, dumbbells and other heavy objects

5. “Cardio”
-running, jumping rope and stationary rowing

As well as a few other goodies.

I can buy into #1 and maybe #3 for pull-ups only. I call horse-shit on #2, the shit with ring-dips in #3, #4 unless you're talking about rocks, and #5 unless they as inmates can hang themselves with it since you're not even allowed in prison with shoe laces most of the time.

"The Newbie Gang-Bang" is something they should all experience as a WOD for their "few other goodies".

Cave Canem · Post by **Cave Canem** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 5:45 am

kreator wrote: Are regular runners going to come and snatch this money from all the races, ruin the @fitters' fun, and then this thing will die?

The same concerns are being raised on the HQ page except "regular runners" are referred to derogatorily as "specialists".

Dux · Post by **Dux** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 8:52 am

kreator wrote:http://www.facebook.com/CrossFitSportsS ... 1752494902
So, $6000 if you win a 5k race?

What?! $6000 ? Sign me and Shapecharge up!

friedquads · Post by **friedquads** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:27 am

kreator wrote:http://www.facebook.com/CrossFitSportsS ... 1752494902
So, $6000 if you win a 5k race?

Three questions
a) where is all this money coming from?
b) are regular runners going to come and snatch this money from all the races, ruin the @fitters' fun, and then this thing will die?
c) is it just me or does Bmack remind you of one of those local car or mattress salesmen on primetime TV?
vid: http://media.crossfit.com/cf-video/Cros ... aPromo.mov

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3bMSdSNSA4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72M3E9HlzBY

Ohhhhhhhhh...I need to pass this shit around the running community in the Seattle area. There are plenty of guys and girls I know that can crank out a sub-15 minute 5k for guys and a sub-17 minute 5k for girls.

And I have a feeling that this race will be dead, just like that last race series he tried to brew up a year or two ago. Even the races themselves seem to DNF/DNS like BMack.

tzg · Post by **tzg** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 11:06 am

Yeah, that seems like a recipe for success for a non-CFer. That's a non-trivial prize right there.

The joke on everybody else, though, is the $10K team prize to the best affiliate.

Anon · Post by **Anon** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 3:36 pm

Captain Quack wrote:OMFG. Calling Paul Wade...
The Prison Yard Games - Which Box will rule the Yard in 2011?
About the Games

The 2011 Prison Yard Games will take place on the grounds of the former maximum security prison in Lorton, Virginia (aka. "The Hill"). Field #3 at Laurel Hill Park, which is located off of Lorton Road.

What: A CrossFit competition unlike anything else you’ve ever done before.

When: September 24, 2011

Where:At the abandoned Maximum Security Prison In Lorton, Virginia

# of Events:4

WOD#1 “Inmate Processing”
WOD #2 “The Shank”
WOD#3 “The Shakedown”
WOD #4 “Escape Attempt”

Which Box will rule the Yard?

Required Equipment:

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 4:02 pm

Captain Quack wrote:OMFG. Calling Paul Wade...
The Prison Yard Games - Which Box will rule the Yard in 2011?
About the Games

The 2011 Prison Yard Games will take place on the grounds of the former maximum security prison in Lorton, Virginia (aka. "The Hill"). Field #3 at Laurel Hill Park, which is located off of Lorton Road.

What: A CrossFit competition unlike anything else you’ve ever done before.

When: September 24, 2011

Where:At the abandoned Maximum Security Prison In Lorton, Virginia

# of Events:4

WOD#1 “Inmate Processing”
WOD #2 “The Shank”
WOD#3 “The Shakedown”
WOD #4 “Escape Attempt”

Which Box will rule the Yard?

***We still need additional volunteers and judges.

No problem. Jay and I will volunteer for the "Shower" WOD. Walk into a room, we start beating the shit out of you. Workout is complete when you get out. I expect a lot of DNFs.

I'll also offer my services for the "Yard Scramble" WOD. I'll sit in the guard tower with a 12-gauge full of bean bag rounds and fire into the crowd below. Last man standing is the winner.

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 4:07 pm

Schedule (please note this schedule is subject to change):

Friday, August 12, 2011
7pm Meet & Greet

Saturday, August 13, 2011
7-8:30 am Registration/Check in

9 am Kids K

9:30 am 5K Begins

9:45 am Post Race Party and Beer Garden opens

11:30 am Q&A with guest speaker

1 pm Event ends

Sunday, August 14, 2011
10 am Group WOD (Location TBD)

What can @F possibly gain from this? I understand the prize money, especially the affiliate prize, is designed to entice people to join @F. But is offering your lambs up for slaughter an effective recruitment tool?

"Hey, I just wiped my ass with all these @Fers. But I need to get in on this WOD. Need to do what they're doing."

Even better is the guest speaker. I assume the topic is "Why you should embraced the training program of the athletes you just stomped."

Assholes.

Jay · Post by **Jay** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 4:14 pm

Gin Master wrote:
Captain Quack wrote:OMFG. Calling Paul Wade...
The Prison Yard Games - Which Box will rule the Yard in 2011?
About the Games

The 2011 Prison Yard Games will take place on the grounds of the former maximum security prison in Lorton, Virginia (aka. "The Hill"). Field #3 at Laurel Hill Park, which is located off of Lorton Road.

What: A CrossFit competition unlike anything else you’ve ever done before.

When: September 24, 2011

Where:At the abandoned Maximum Security Prison In Lorton, Virginia

# of Events:4

WOD#1 “Inmate Processing”
WOD #2 “The Shank”
WOD#3 “The Shakedown”
WOD #4 “Escape Attempt”

Which Box will rule the Yard?

***We still need additional volunteers and judges.
No problem. Jay and I will volunteer for the "Shower" WOD. Walk into a room, we start beating the shit out of you. Workout is complete when you get out. I expect a lot of DNFs.

I'll also offer my services for the "Yard Scramble" WOD. I'll sit in the guard tower with a 12-gauge full of bean bag rounds and fire into the crowd below. Last man standing is the winner.

let's see what modal domain an epic beating is

lesser_rebelangel · Post by **lesser_rebelangel** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 4:43 pm

Zombomatic wrote:If "paul wade" got together with crossfit it might cause a reality-imploding singularity of stupid.

=D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 4:53 pm

Given the number of rhabdo cases caused by GHD's I'd say a good sub would be to beat your belly with a crowbar until you pee blood.

bravo!

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 5:23 pm

For added status as an intense firebreather undergo the Prison Exercise Yard Beating WOD while wearing a 1%er patch or tatoo.

Gin Master · Post by **Gin Master** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 5:28 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:For added status as an intense firebreather undergo the Prison Exercise Yard Beating WOD while wearing a 1%er patch or tatoo.

I was behind one of the Bandidos the other day at a stoplight. I would have given anything for a @Fer to cross the intersection riding a single speed and wearing that stupid Rogue 1% shirt.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:35 pm

New thing: STDs!

I've heard that chlamydia, herpes, and HPV are running rampant through the sexually promiscuous @Fers. Hey, even though you're stupid enough to be doing @F, do yourself a favor and practice safe sex. Just because he or she looks clean, doesn't mean they are clean.

Andrew Wilson said STDs will be the next thing he starts tracking, since he's had about 25 emails talking about it.

******SORRY! THIS IS NOT A NEW TREND, BUT RATHER A REVISITATION ON THE TOPIC, WHICH HAS PREVIOUSLY APPEARED IN THE COUCH THREAD.

I'm waiting for hepatitis to show up via the bloody equipment, or other blood born disease.

syaigh · Post by **syaigh** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 6:47 pm

Don't forget about MRSA.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 7:12 pm

Shafman wrote:New thing: STDs!

I've heard that chlamydia, herpes, and HPV are running rampant through the sexually promiscuous @Fers. Hey, even though you're stupid enough to be doing @F, do yourself a favor and practice safe sex. Just because he or she looks clean, doesn't mean they are clean.

Andrew Wilson said STDs will be the next thing he starts tracking, since he's had about 25 emails talking about it.

******SORRY! THIS IS NOT A NEW TREND, BUT RATHER A REVISITATION ON THE TOPIC, WHICH HAS PREVIOUSLY APPEARED IN THE COUCH THREAD.

I'm waiting for hepatitis to show up via the bloody equipment, or other blood born disease.

Wasn't there a case of warts that broke out a couple of weeks ago at some box or other?

Crust Bucket · Post by **Crust Bucket** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 7:15 pm

Ewwwwwww....Dirty disgusting flappers.
Although I do wish much illness and misery, so rock on!

Yes I Have Balls · Post by **Yes I Have Balls** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:11 pm

Let teh lulz begin. The @Fit store is open:

http://store.crossfit.com/

tough old man · Post by **tough old man** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:21 pm

Ummm...I got to page one. Its a little pricy for shit you can get at Marshall's for $10.

IGX

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