IGX

kreator wrote:QUESTION: What are your favorite moments in Crossfit history?

Submit your favorite moments in Crossfit history NOW for a chance for them to be included in the Crossfit White Papers!

Submission steps:
1. Enter a brief description of the event and why it's significant, hilarious, or just plain moronic.
2. Provide a reference (Internet link or otherwise) with some info to support it.

Possibly my favorite Couchism:

http://www.powerathletesmag.com/archive ... assman.htm

The Couch wrote:But here's the fascinating part. We can take you from a 200 pound max deadlift to a 500-750 pound max deadlift in two years while only pulling max singles four or five times a year. We will though work the deadlift, like most lifts, approximately once per week at higher reps and under grueling conditions. It may intuit well that if you can pull a 250 pound deadlift 21 times coming to the lift at a heart rate of 180 beats per minute, then 500 pounds for a single at a resting heart rate is perhaps manageable.

Jag Panzer wrote:

kreator wrote:QUESTION: What are your favorite moments in Crossfit history?

Submit your favorite moments in Crossfit history NOW for a chance for them to be included in the Crossfit White Papers!

Submission steps:
1. Enter a brief description of the event and why it's significant, hilarious, or just plain moronic.
2. Provide a reference (Internet link or otherwise) with some info to support it.

Possibly my favorite Couchism:

http://www.powerathletesmag.com/archive ... assman.htm

The Couch wrote:But here's the fascinating part. We can take you from a 200 pound max deadlift to a 500-750 pound max deadlift in two years while only pulling max singles four or five times a year. We will though work the deadlift, like most lifts, approximately once per week at higher reps and under grueling conditions. It may intuit well that if you can pull a 250 pound deadlift 21 times coming to the lift at a heart rate of 180 beats per minute, then 500 pounds for a single at a resting heart rate is perhaps manageable.

This is why there's now a Crossfit division at SPF meets, b/c the Crossfitters just shatter all those fat Westside guys on the platform.

The 750lb deadlift is without a doubt the single greatest couchism of all time, but I'm still very fond of the collection of lesser couchisms when they're all assembled together:

WildGorillaMan wrote:

The Bastard Son of the Shafman wrote:However, he does provide Couch quotes we can mock. I find the ones that aren't just wrong to be outright hilarious, and illustrative of his disregard for damn near anyone. I'll bold a few that made me laugh out loud.

"Calm those worthless tremors."
"We exist on the margins of decrepitude."
"We fail at the margins of our experience."
"Be stupid for me."
"Alter your hormonal milieu."
"No, it doesn't ever get any easier. You wouldn't want it to either."
"Why don't you try some Judaism tonight?"
"Burn on the pyre of ego."

Some Couch-isms don't sound so much like training methodologies as they sound like lyrics that Jim Morrison scribled into his notebook who out of his mind on mescaline and Jack Daniels, and later discarded because he couldn't come up with a decent rhyme for them.

Is @fit the axis that intersects the planes between chemically-fuelled delusions of grandeur and dingbat stream of consciousness ravings?

When read aloud they have a sort of hypnotic, beat-poetry-like tenor to them. Maybe some enterprising type could compile them all into a slim volume of verse, maybe for the Kindle?

The CrossFit business model has played out beyond expectation. However, the product has failed to deliver as promised.

But here's the fascinating part. We can take you from a 200 pound max deadlift to a 500-750 pound max deadlift in two years while only pulling max singles four or five times a year. We will though work the deadlift, like most lifts, approximately once per week at higher reps and under grueling conditions. It may intuit well that if you can pull a 250 pound deadlift 21 times coming to the lift at a heart rate of 180 beats per minute, then 500 pounds for a single at a resting heart rate is perhaps manageable.

This is really so perfectly Glassman.

Let's dissect:

200# to 500# in 2 years. Yeah, not a problem, I can and have taken a 185# guy and put 200# on his deadlift in close to 6 months, going from 315 to 515. However, much over that, specialization is required. I will go out on a limb here and say that anyone who deadlifts 200# the first time they pick up the bar WILL NEVER get to 750#, unless they are very young. Even I pulled 275 the first time I deadlifted. Will I ever deadlift 750? Not fucking likely, to be honest.

The 250x21/HR~180 = 500# for a single at RHR is the first clear, concise ringing of the "I really don't know what the fuck I'm talking about bell", and the sound of the top down ignorance model.

When couch (PBUH) passes away I strongly recommend that that the IGx lawyers petition his estate to have the deadlift quote carved on his tombstone.

In fact, we could even take up a collection to raise enough money to buy a tombstone big enough to fit the entire quote in six-inch high letters. After all he's done for us it's the least we could do.

Pulling 500 is actually quite a tug. 600 even more so. Since most X-fitters are under 200, looking at the PL Nationals would tell you how many folks are capable of pulling 750.

kreator wrote:QUESTION: What are your favorite moments in Crossfit history?

I would say Caviston's critique(s) of Cultfit are very high in the "best moments of Crossfit."

Also, Couch's still-yet-to-be-fulfilled claims of studies proving various things about Cultfit. Maybe the studies were put on the back burner while they got their insurance shored up and their apparel line finished.

Another high ranking moment is obviously the Dan John excommunication.

And the first time people started referrring to Glassman as "couch" in the main site comments. To this day, I have trouble typing "coach."

WildGorillaMan wrote:The 750lb deadlift is without a doubt the single greatest couchism of all time, but I'm still very fond of the collection of lesser couchisms when they're all assembled together:

WildGorillaMan wrote:

The Bastard Son of the Shafman wrote:However, he does provide Couch quotes we can mock. I find the ones that aren't just wrong to be outright hilarious, and illustrative of his disregard for damn near anyone. I'll bold a few that made me laugh out loud.

"Calm those worthless tremors."
"We exist on the margins of decrepitude."
"We fail at the margins of our experience."
"Be stupid for me."
"Alter your hormonal milieu."
"No, it doesn't ever get any easier. You wouldn't want it to either."
"Why don't you try some Judaism tonight?"
"Burn on the pyre of ego."

Some Couch-isms don't sound so much like training methodologies as they sound like lyrics that Jim Morrison scribled into his notebook who out of his mind on mescaline and Jack Daniels, and later discarded because he couldn't come up with a decent rhyme for them.

Is @fit the axis that intersects the planes between chemically-fuelled delusions of grandeur and dingbat stream of consciousness ravings?

When read aloud they have a sort of hypnotic, beat-poetry-like tenor to them. Maybe some enterprising type could compile them all into a slim volume of verse, maybe for the Kindle?

Greg has inspired my muse

First, second, third, dead fuckin last
Calm those worthless tremors!
Be...stupid…for…me

Exist on the margins of decrepitude
Fail at the margins of experience
It doesn’t get any easier…you wouldn’t want it to

The magic is - in the movement
The art is - in the programming
The science is - in the explanation

Don’t hammer a wine glass
Burn on the pyre of ego
Stabilize your midline like a motherfucker!

The Josh Hillis browbeating was a good one.

Any of the times Couch attacked people for criticizing "people with disabilities" when they questioned why he didn't workout.

Or the first time he mentioned the super secret black ops workouts he put himself through that were "so dangerous" he couldn't reveal them.

Question, where can I find the fallout between Dan John and Glassman? Was it on the CF boards, or the comments, or somewhere else?

protobuilder wrote:Any of the times Couch attacked people for criticizing "people with disabilities" when they questioned why he didn't workout.

Good one.

Captain Quack wrote:The Josh Hillis browbeating was a good one.

Ah this one I forgot about.

that whole Robb Wolf / Dave Castro (whatever happened to Shave Astroglide?) thing was my favorite. http://robbwolf.com/2009/11/24/the-blac ... ification/

it was so eye-opening. you could see the guys in charge were terrified the curtain might be pulled back, revealing their stumpy limping Oz for the charlatan he is. i think they ran rippetoe out around the same time, and they used to quote him like the supreme guru of lifting. it just seemed incredible that it had gone on as long as it had, with so many devoted followers, when it was quickly becoming clear to anyone paying attention that they didn't know wtf they were doing.

that shit blew up on the interwebz, a lot of funny shit came out, and while enjoying it all i stumbled on this thing called the couch thread, full of hilarity. lurking commenced.

What was the deal with the VA beach affifliate? I can't recall exactly, but there was a defense contractor that started an affiliate with B boi and Anyc, he pulled out and then HQ gave B Boi and ANyc a brand new gym.

My favorite couchism:

The kipping pull-up and the squat are the two closed chain kinetic exercises that elevate an athlete's center of mass with optimal efficiency. Period.

Avoiding the kipping pull-up does for arboreal locomotion what avoiding the squat does for bipedal locomotion - renders you physically impotent.

What about dropping F-bombs at the war college along with couch's dress?

Oh, I think he's talking about you guys here
"The stir here, the need to call me a liar, the need to hate CF, and it's attendant need to find something, anything, anything false or even remotely misleading among literally thousands of pages of CF material, comes from those who hate CF. Those haters have a home in ********. I don't believe the ******** crowd really has problems with my statements. I believe their issue is more related to 26 minute Frans and the like. Many, perhaps most, of the regulars at ******** once posted here under real names on the msg boad, and in comments, or worked out at affiliates. All of those that we know to be real people fit that description. One of the powerlifting loudmouths at ******** got bested by a 75 pound lighter Robb Wolf regularly at 1RM lifts and left with his tail tucked to rail against CrossFit at ********, another young man actually posted a 26 minute Fran in comments and is an Icon at ********. It's my presumption that these two individuals are representative of the entire site. Remember, this is a site where graphically imagined depictions of murder of me and my wife were seen as funny (with a Philadelphia PA, assistant DA prosecuting cybercrimes contributing in the same thread), and antisemitism and racism are de rigeur."

cargo pants + sandals with socks

On the second day of the Reebok CrossFit Games Northeast Regional, T.J. O’Neill walked into the venue wearing a green, yellow and red Rasta hat, a fabric anklet, and sandals.

On the third day of the event, the CrossFit Southie team athlete walked onto the outdoor competition floor wearing an American-flag bandana with part of his shoulder-length hair pulled into a ponytail atop his head. He sported black Converse high-tops that looked like they had seen better days, and he had a toothpick in his mouth.

But what might be most important to mention is O’Neill’s first day at the regional. That’s when he became the only person to match Rob Orlando in the thruster-ladder workout at 275 lb.

http://journal.crossfit.com/2011/07/cec ... ticleTitle

Must have been a slow news day over at the Crossfit Journal.

Now they're just writing articles whenever someone does a workout.

How about the day ANYC finally posted tits?

It's a week to go until the Games. Is this why the couch thread is in summer reruns?

Anyone know what happened to Carl Borg?

That guy was basically running Crossfit Endurance with MacKenzie ever since it started. You know, the guy who was the co-star of the failed 100 Mile Movie (refresher: http://vimeo.com/6709445). And now a quick search of the CFE website reveals nothing about Borg.
Checked his Facebook, and it says he's self-employed. Engaged to Summer Wesson. Checked her site and she's still running but no mention of CFE within the last year. And ... she's got a better running resume than Borg and MacKenzie.
( http://ultrasignup.com/results_particip ... son&age=34 )


Curious to know if there was some sort of fall-out between Borg and MacKenzie or what.

Power and Bulk coming on strong on all the X-fit forums after Glasshole trashed Dan.

Somewhere, there is a record of all this. There was some intense hate.

AND OUT OF NOWHERE, IT'S THE DIVA!!

For anyone who wants to mine the all the couch posts in past daily WAD comments, this search should cover it:
http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&lr=& ... 82&cad=cbv

Brilliant.