The couch thread
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Re: The couch thread
"Tell them you have a slap tear from doing kipping pull ups, a partially torn achilles from doing high rep box jumps, and a torn rotator from doing sumo deadlift hi pulls"
Sounds like a plan!
I am expecting a lot of non answers as in Scaling? We don't change the exercises, we change the intensity. Everybody, that's right, everybody is doing the OL lifts, even with terrible technique! Yeah!
Thanks for the feedback, people.
Sounds like a plan!
I am expecting a lot of non answers as in Scaling? We don't change the exercises, we change the intensity. Everybody, that's right, everybody is doing the OL lifts, even with terrible technique! Yeah!
Thanks for the feedback, people.
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Re: The couch thread
Just wait until they get to the 20% slop explanation. Its priceless. :)
Miss Piggy wrote:Never eat more than you can lift.
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- Sergeant Commanding
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Re: The couch thread
Is that where they use the target shooting analogy?syaigh wrote:Just wait until they get to the 20% slop explanation. Its priceless. :)
I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.
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Re: The couch thread
Forget all this crap and have them wrestle. There are a couple judo throws I won't let kids do until they've been in 4-6 months (or longer). It's not just about building the neck. The chest, trunk, and back are also involved in taking the fall.Shafpocalypse Now wrote:I had real issues coaching teen girls rugby due to the unpreventable contact injuries and other injuries.
In particular, the girls could not control their heads when they fell after contact, and the head to ground impact easily lead to concussions.
I could not control this via physical conditioning, despite trying assorted neck isometrics, manual resistance, and old school boxer neck nods early in the conditioning cycle.
Re: The couch thread
Yes. I wished they would have presented this analogy with an actual gun.Alfred_E._Neuman wrote:Is that where they use the target shooting analogy?syaigh wrote:Just wait until they get to the 20% slop explanation. Its priceless. :)
"Gentle in what you do, Firm in how you do it"
- Buck Brannaman
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Re: The couch thread
She got hurt because someone didn't know how to program effective workouts that didn't involve hundreds of reps beating the piss out of their body. Couple that with a hip issue which put pressure on her back and it was a recipe for disaster. Kate is tough, no doubt about that and she works hard on and off the "platform".BobW wrote:Well, she should be running out of weakness, I'd think - when I met her, in April, she was unable to train because she had fractured vertebrae or something. I would think that a lot of weakness left her body doing that...stacked up with having an Achilles tear within, what, 6 months or so of resuming training, she should be all tapped out on weakness.Gin Master wrote:I read a bit of her blog...on katerawlings.com, of course. The post a couple days before was prophetic.Jay wrote:yea because she's a dope when it comes to training, Bob... trust me on that one....
Achilles tears= lots of weakness leaving the body.It seems that only crossfitters understand that pain is progress, and that soreness you feel everytime you roll over during the night is an exciting thing.
One of my teens is the greatest example of embracing this. He’s tried every sport, and nothing has excited him until Crossfit that is. He was soooooo sore after his first class that he didn’t want to come back. Of course, his mom made him come back, and our conversation before warmup was all about his soreness. I told him “when you’re sore, it’s weakness leaving your body so that there’s room for strong muscle.”
It’s all he talked about for a week. He even called his mom out on being sore by telling her it was weakness leaving the body. I keep that in mind when I’m warming up and all I want to do is ice down, that it’s just weakness leaving the body. If it works for an 11 year old, it has to work for me.
The shit of it is that she could be a good Oly lifter because she is getting personal coaching from Mark Cannella from Columbus but she has that koolaid running through her veins and its what got her this far with sponsorships, self-promotion and gym members.
If she would stop trying to go back to the gaymes so hard and just focus on getting totally healthy, stronger and working with her oly coach, she could actually have a competent stint doing that rather than beating the shit out of herself and getting hurt.
This whole weakness shit is fucked up. Training doesn't have to be so brutally terrible that you end up in a pool of blood when you are done and if your training is hurting you... its time to change it up.
I think you first met her when you came up to do some training with the old crew, am I correct?
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Re: The couch thread
Solid dude with true knowledges. Makes what I would assume to be some solid coin doing seminars at @fit gyms. Has a couple of really talented lifters. If this is true, that dumb ho could've saved herself a lot of agony by just listening to him.Jay wrote:[The shit of it is that she could be a good Oly lifter because she is getting personal coaching from Mark Cannella
Re: The couch thread
Correct on both counts.Jay wrote:This whole weakness shit is fucked up. Training doesn't have to be so brutally terrible that you end up in a pool of blood when you are done and if your training is hurting you... its time to change it up.
I think you first met her when you came up to do some training with the old crew, am I correct?
If there's one thing I hope to get across to somebody, it's that holding onto this macho fucked-up attitude of being a warrior, embracing your pain, is just detrimental to your well-being as an athlete and a human.
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Re: The couch thread
on page 1131 of this thread, people having a serious exchange about how stupid crossfitters are. have you taken leave of your senses?
x-fitters are a bunch of delusional, mentally deficient mirror gazers. any discussion about them starts from that point and should proceed immediately to ridicule or pictures of tits.
any other approach to posting re x-fit is a waste of time.
x-fitters are a bunch of delusional, mentally deficient mirror gazers. any discussion about them starts from that point and should proceed immediately to ridicule or pictures of tits.
any other approach to posting re x-fit is a waste of time.
Really Big Strong Guy: There are a plethora of psychopaths among us.
Re: The couch thread
Kate ‘killer’ Rawlings is an experienced CrossFit Games competitor and currently a professional CrossFit athlete.
April 2011
4th Annual Central Ohio Strength & Conditioning Clinic
‘Transitioning from an average athlete to an elite athlete’
August 2010
CrossFit Legacy
‘The Road to the Games’
Narcissism at its best.
Re: The couch thread
There is a paper test now and I got the distinct impression most of the people at my cert didn't pass. The results were preceded by a long preamble on how this was a first step, people could re-test, etc. I was one of the few happy people afterward.syaigh wrote:So, take it easy. Drink lots of water. Try to block out the stupid. But, I think they test you on it now, so I guess you should try and remember the stupid. And on the way home, try and purge it from your system.
If passing means anything to you and it should if you're going to spend the time and money then just go with it for two days. Try your best to think like they do and answer the questions that way or you won't pass. If you disagree so much with the philosophy that you're gonna fail the test then it'd better to not go.

Re: The couch thread
Dude... go to the cert, and enjoy it. There'll probably be booze, and plenty of hot women. None of them will care that you're from the couch thread with superior knowledges. You'll just come off as the sullen kid in the corner.
Re: The couch thread
Agreed. Get what you can out of it. I met a lot of great Marines at my cert and got to talk with a lot of interesting people. Drank some good beer afterwards, too. Fran works up a killer thirst.Beer Jew wrote:Dude... go to the cert, and enjoy it. There'll probably be booze, and plenty of hot women. None of them will care that you're from the couch thread with superior knowledges. You'll just come off as the sullen kid in the corner.


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Re: The couch thread
That was the conclusion I rapidly came to after first learning about @fit, and I haven't changed my mind yet. I honestly believe the whole thing is an "in" joke among Couch and a few others, and they're seeing how far they can run with it.....Frogster wrote:I just finished reading the crossfit training guide, as I am going on the level 1 cert in January (paid off by work). I just wonder if they are serious by some of the stuff they write or taking the piss... It's going to be tough to hold my thoughts to myself
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- Gunny
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Re: The couch thread
Shaf, you wrote this:
"I had real issues coaching teen girls rugby due to the unpreventable contact injuries and other injuries.
In particular, the girls could not control their heads when they fell after contact, and the head to ground impact easily lead to concussions.
I could not control this via physical conditioning, despite trying assorted neck isometrics, manual resistance, and old school boxer neck nods early in the conditioning cycle.
Hand/wrist injuries from falling and ball handling were also an issue, as was chronically weak ankles.
Only one girl took my advice regarding ankle injuries and fixed herself. The others just couldn't be bothered."
This is why I added tumbling first to my program. Originally, it was every other Wednesday and I taught falling, basic rolls, cartwheels, handstands and some other basics. This really seemed to help cut down on some injuries. I only know this because the kids would have stories the next weeks about backward rolls in soccer or a "Judo roll" in a football game and that kind of thing. Later, I added it as part of the daily workout, both as a tumbling run or two in the warm up. or part of the training workout. (There is an example in the Utah DVD that I think you have that Laree made).
My tumbling work was really "prehab" or whatever we call injury prevention now. I thought that training kids to take a fall was as valuable as, say, shrugs in preventing concussions. Noticeable changes included almost zero shoulder injuries. One kid got one (a running back) but he had more issues than I have time to explain and he never did the work anyway. So, I have been thinking a lot about this lately...doing something like a band thing for rotator cuffs versus actually improving the throwing motion OR fall training versus neck movements...and I am starting to think that both approaches have value throughout a career, but the global stuff (good mechanics and fall training) has to be put in early enough to stick.
"I had real issues coaching teen girls rugby due to the unpreventable contact injuries and other injuries.
In particular, the girls could not control their heads when they fell after contact, and the head to ground impact easily lead to concussions.
I could not control this via physical conditioning, despite trying assorted neck isometrics, manual resistance, and old school boxer neck nods early in the conditioning cycle.
Hand/wrist injuries from falling and ball handling were also an issue, as was chronically weak ankles.
Only one girl took my advice regarding ankle injuries and fixed herself. The others just couldn't be bothered."
This is why I added tumbling first to my program. Originally, it was every other Wednesday and I taught falling, basic rolls, cartwheels, handstands and some other basics. This really seemed to help cut down on some injuries. I only know this because the kids would have stories the next weeks about backward rolls in soccer or a "Judo roll" in a football game and that kind of thing. Later, I added it as part of the daily workout, both as a tumbling run or two in the warm up. or part of the training workout. (There is an example in the Utah DVD that I think you have that Laree made).
My tumbling work was really "prehab" or whatever we call injury prevention now. I thought that training kids to take a fall was as valuable as, say, shrugs in preventing concussions. Noticeable changes included almost zero shoulder injuries. One kid got one (a running back) but he had more issues than I have time to explain and he never did the work anyway. So, I have been thinking a lot about this lately...doing something like a band thing for rotator cuffs versus actually improving the throwing motion OR fall training versus neck movements...and I am starting to think that both approaches have value throughout a career, but the global stuff (good mechanics and fall training) has to be put in early enough to stick.
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- Sergeant Commanding
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Re: The couch thread
As always, The Coach Dan John has the true knowledges.
Hey 19 anonymous guests, if this is a familiar sight:

It's time to make changes.
The Gorilla has been there. He knows you're hurting. Stop being such a fucking dumbass and fix yourselves.
Hey 19 anonymous guests, if this is a familiar sight:

It's time to make changes.
The Gorilla has been there. He knows you're hurting. Stop being such a fucking dumbass and fix yourselves.
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Re: The couch thread
I think neck movements are pointless. If you can do roundoffs, walk on your hands, and wrestle several two-minute rounds, your neck will be as strong as it needs to be. If I headed up a program, I'd have every athlete tumble for nine months and dive for three.Danny John wrote:This is why I added tumbling first to my program. Originally, it was every other Wednesday and I taught falling, basic rolls, cartwheels, handstands and some other basics. This really seemed to help cut down on some injuries. I only know this because the kids would have stories the next weeks about backward rolls in soccer or a "Judo roll" in a football game and that kind of thing. Later, I added it as part of the daily workout, both as a tumbling run or two in the warm up. or part of the training workout. (There is an example in the Utah DVD that I think you have that Laree made).
My tumbling work was really "prehab" or whatever we call injury prevention now. I thought that training kids to take a fall was as valuable as, say, shrugs in preventing concussions. Noticeable changes included almost zero shoulder injuries. One kid got one (a running back) but he had more issues than I have time to explain and he never did the work anyway. So, I have been thinking a lot about this lately...doing something like a band thing for rotator cuffs versus actually improving the throwing motion OR fall training versus neck movements...and I am starting to think that both approaches have value throughout a career, but the global stuff (good mechanics and fall training) has to be put in early enough to stick.
When I changed our judo warmups to a pure tumbling routine, I noticed that the brown and black belts could already do cartwheels, roundoffs, walk on hands, etc. from the years of training. Similar to learning about hypertrophy from one who understands it by experience, there are hundreds of gyms out there full of people that get slammed dozens of times a day with nary an injury. Observe a class or two.
Here's a nice article with an old Ethan Reeve routine.
http://www.cathletics.com/articles/arti ... ticleID=38
COACH REEVE’S TUMBLING ROUTINE
1. Forward Rolls X 3
2. Backward Rolls X 3
3. Dive Rolls X 3
4. Quick Rolls (3 successive rolls as fast as possible) X 3
5. Backward Split Roll X 3
6. Forward Roll To Bear Crawl
7. Backward Roll To Crab Crawl
8. Cartwheel-Forward Roll-Cartwheel
9. High Knees (running drill, length of mat)
10. Butt Kicks (running drill, length of mat)
11. Seat Rolls To Carioca
12. Seat Rolls to Shuffle (same as above but with side shuffle)
13. One Legged Hops (get up high and far, length of mat)
14. Two Legged Hops (get up high and far, length of mat)
15. Backpedal (backwards run, reaching back)
16. Wheelbarrow (partner holding feet or practice walking on hands if alone)
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Re: The couch thread
Here is the routine I use for our club. We'll do 4-6 of each movement. More judo-specific but still helpful for anyone who falls.
1. forward judo rolls
2. backward judo rolls
3. dive rolls
4. forward to backward rolls (continuous)
5. forward roll --> bear crawl
6. backward roll --> crab walk
7. butt kicks
8. sumo steps (alternate in/out and out/in; these are a hip + high knee movement I made up)
9. cartwheels, each side
10. roundoff --> backward roll --> dive roll
11. elbow rolls (vs seoi nage)
12. walk on hands (tuck and roll or roundoff to bail)
1. forward judo rolls
2. backward judo rolls
3. dive rolls
4. forward to backward rolls (continuous)
5. forward roll --> bear crawl
6. backward roll --> crab walk
7. butt kicks
8. sumo steps (alternate in/out and out/in; these are a hip + high knee movement I made up)
9. cartwheels, each side
10. roundoff --> backward roll --> dive roll
11. elbow rolls (vs seoi nage)
12. walk on hands (tuck and roll or roundoff to bail)
Re: The couch thread
Sometimes I get high-centered on my foam roller and have to roll off to the side. That is my gymnastics training.
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"


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Re: The couch thread
A Facebook User wrote: Just read a blog post from a woman who injured herself on her 27th box jump and then declared she hadn't seen any warning signs prior to injury. If you knew anything about plyometrics the 27 box jumps would have been the warning sign. Please get out of my industry.
Another Facebook User jests and wrote:Come on, your workout is her warmup. And now your warmup is her rehab.
Re: The couch thread
http://www.menshealth.com/fitness/cult- ... ify-bubble
Too lazy to go back and see if this was already posted.
Too lazy to go back and see if this was already posted.
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Re: The couch thread
Funny "oldy but goody" from Freddy at One World who walks the line between cashing in on @fit and eviscerating them at every turn.
http://crossfitoneworld.typepad.com/cro ... 52011.html
http://crossfitoneworld.typepad.com/cro ... 52011.html
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Re: The couch thread
Too late for me now, but I'll file that tidbit away for future use.
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Re: The couch thread
Shaf, here's a juggaloo for your work on thsi thread...


"He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that." JS Mill
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- Sergeant Commanding
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Re: The couch thread
I've read that article. Think it was posted a few hundred pages back or so.Yogalete wrote:http://www.menshealth.com/fitness/cult- ... ify-bubble
Too lazy to go back and see if this was already posted.
Still a good read. And the comments are lulz. "@fit is not a cult. I've been going for a year now and it's the best thing that's ever happened in my life. Anybody who says different is a lying sack of shit"
I don't have a lot of experience with vampires, but I have hunted werewolves. I shot one once, but by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog.