We Bought A Zoo

DrDonkeyLove · Post by **DrDonkeyLove** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 5:51 am

It's exactly what you'd expect and Scarlett Johansson worked diligently to be not hot. Still, it was pleasant and everyone seemed to enjoy it. Very much a feel good movie and you can take any kid to it.

Shapecharge · Post by **Shapecharge** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 2:34 pm

If there's no knife fighting in it then they can forget about getting Tom Furman's money.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:28 pm

Especially if there are no scenes where the knife wielding, shaggy-haired, protagonist defeats a muscular, handsome, clean cut man with a gun, thus winning the affections of a large breasted, raven-tressed artist.

Shapecharge · Post by **Shapecharge** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 11:02 pm

That's the premise of a movie right fucking there my man. Let's get some dialogue together and a few scenes storyboarded and make some money. Maybe Timmah can help us with an agent. How's this to start:

Big-tittied sexy artist: I don't care what you do to me...art is my life! I won't do what you ask!

Muscle-bound ex-SEAL with two MP-5's: You will paint a picture of me and my swim-buddy naked or I'll cut you into pieces with these submachine guns!

Enter Tom Furman, confident like a 130 pound leopard that has just gulped down a six-pack of Red Bull.

Tom Furman: Get away from my woman squid or I'll cut you three ways...frequently, wide, and deep!

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 11:14 pm

Shapecharge wrote:That's the premise of a movie right fucking there my man. Let's get some dialogue together and a few scenes storyboarded and make some money. Maybe Timmah can help us with an agent. How's this to start:

Big-tittied sexy artist: I don't care what you do to me...art is my life! I won't do what you ask!

Muscle-bound ex-SEAL with two MP-5's: You will paint a picture of me and my swim-buddy naked or I'll cut you into pieces with these submachine guns!

Enter Tom Furman, confident like a 130 pound leopard that has just gulped down a six-pack of Red Bull.

Tom Furman: Get away from my woman squid or I'll cut you three ways...frequently, wide, and deep!

Not bad, but you didn't mention Uncle Charlie once.

Shapecharge · Post by **Shapecharge** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 11:24 pm

RE-WRITE!

baffled · Post by **baffled** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 11:24 pm

Isn't Furman's uncle Lee Marvin? Can't he get a mention in that screenplay?

Shapecharge · Post by **Shapecharge** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 11:27 pm

Baff, it's a very closely guarded secret that only a few of us plank holders know about...Charles Bronson was Tom's uncle. What effect this has had on Tom has yet to be seen.

baffled · Post by **baffled** » Tue Dec 27, 2011 11:30 pm

Holeeeee Shiiiiiiiiite. Dude's got the lineage of a god. Please tell me this isn't the first time a movie involving his Shagginess has been discussed.

DrDonkeyLove · Post by **DrDonkeyLove** » Wed Dec 28, 2011 3:18 am

I see the spirit of Uncle Charlie guiding Tom as he prepares for the ultimate battle of one man with a knife vs. hardened well armed SEALS as his hugely bosomed artiste babe tries in vain to cover her nudity.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Wed Dec 28, 2011 5:37 am

I can work with this

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Wed Dec 28, 2011 6:35 am

Check this out baff:

You should be embarrassed for not seeing the resemblance.

baffled · Post by **baffled** » Wed Dec 28, 2011 7:44 am

Turdacious wrote:Check this out baff:

You should be embarrassed for not seeing the resemblance.

How could I have missed it?

Batboy2/75 · Post by **Batboy2/75** » Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:25 am

Tom needs a side kick. How about a talking Great Dane with a lysp and chronic drug induced munchies?

Shapecharge · Post by **Shapecharge** » Thu Dec 29, 2011 3:52 am

Jesus Batt that is so fucking lame...something like that would never work. I've got a better idea. How 'bout a couple of chicks...one sexy skinny model hot and the other kinda thick but nerdy and still hitable.

Sandman · Post by **Sandman** » Thu Dec 29, 2011 3:55 am

Shapecharge wrote:Baff, it's a very closely guarded secret that only a few of us plank holders know about...Charles Bronson was Tom's uncle. What effect this has had on Tom has yet to be seen.

Believable yes, both from the Pittsburgh area. It's just crazy enough to be true.

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Thu Dec 29, 2011 7:30 am

Shapecharge wrote:Jesus Batt that is so fucking lame...something like that would never work. I've got a better idea. How 'bout a couple of chicks...one sexy skinny model hot and the other kinda thick but nerdy and still hitable.

Or go in a completely different direction. Think Short Round with knives and the backpack he wore in the Goonies, or the Korean kid from Starsky and Hutch, or Herve Villachez in The Man With the Golden Gun-- or all three as an midget badass Furman's Angels.

Shapecharge · Post by **Shapecharge** » Thu Dec 29, 2011 2:33 pm

Turd just dropped a golden nugget! The title of our film (the first of many in the franchise): "Tom Furman and the Mini-Angels"!!! The mini-angels skills will be patterned after the chicks in Fox Force Five. One will be a sexy suductress. Another will be a jiu-jitsu black belt. Will have one as an explosives expert and then another a comedian who's also a world class magician. Tom and his midget crew will take on absolutely the most dangerous jobs and then when it's all done he'll kick back and order not a vodka martini, shaken not stirred, but a chocolate martini with sprinkles.

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Thu Dec 29, 2011 3:26 pm

You magnificent, genius, motherfuckers! We need to work in old school Russian commies and old bad ass Nazis who stole Adolph's longevity sreum

The Venerable Bogatir X · Thu Dec 29, 2011 3:28 pm

ZOINKS! I'm feeling a new TV series, too. SHAGGY VICE!

Dux · Post by **Dux** » Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:42 pm

Let's talk about product placement please, I'd like to see the official IGX snack worked
into the script.

Shapecharge · Post by **Shapecharge** » Thu Dec 29, 2011 5:27 pm

And, since Furman is basically in the business anyway with set layout, lighting, etc. we can cut costs tremendously by having him star in the movie and do all the production work too. With product placement like the Greek Rice Krispy treats and other items like kookyballz, stretchybands etc. it's mo money mo money mo money!

tough old man · Post by **tough old man** » Thu Dec 29, 2011 5:57 pm

I'd like to see the official IGX snack worked into the script.

Something off the big green egg that Shapecharge got for fathers daythat he never mentions perhaps?

DrDonkeyLove · Post by **DrDonkeyLove** » Thu Dec 29, 2011 5:59 pm

Roadie Warrior

tough old man · Post by **tough old man** » Thu Dec 29, 2011 6:02 pm

Grilling his rock star kills on the BGE? Famous Paleo. With a chocolate martini.

IGX

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