Beware teh Swans!

the fearless freep · Post by **the fearless freep** » Mon Apr 16, 2012 10:58 pm

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/1 ... d%3D152374

I dare proto to click the link.

Alfred_E._Neuman · Post by **Alfred_E._Neuman** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 12:07 am

That's about as un-glamorous a way to go as you can think of, getting your ass thoroughly kicked by a swan.

I will say this in his defense, we had a few geese on our pond when I was a kid and those were the meanest animals I've ever come across. They'd bite the piss out of you just for shits and giggles.

Protobuilder · Post by **Protobuilder** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 9:54 am

the fearless freep wrote:I dare proto to click the link.

It's from the only site that he "reads" regularly.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 1:18 pm

oh! The HP!

Grandpa's Spells · Post by **Grandpa's Spells** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 3:31 pm

The real problem was he decided to use a kayak and not wear a PFD or dress for a potential swim. Even recreational kayaks capsize relatively easily. The water is still very cold. People around here die this way without swans every spring.

SAR · Post by **SAR** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:25 pm

1) large birds are dangerous. I released a pelican that was caught up in fishing line while kayaking some years back, and fuck that is a big strong bird.
2) what is this about "horrified witness looking on?" didn't anyone decide to hop in and swim out. shit.

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:32 pm

Baked Swan

To bake a Swan
Scald it and take out the bones, and parboil it, then season it very well with Pepper, Salt and Ginger, then lard it, and put it in a deep Coffin of Rye Paste with store of Butter, close it and bake it very well, and when it is baked, fill up the Vent-hole with melted Butter, and so keep it; serve it in as you do the Beef-Pie

http://www.elizabethan-era.org.uk/bake- ... recipe.htm

Pinky · Post by **Pinky** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:38 pm

SAR wrote:2) what is this about "horrified witness looking on?" didn't anyone decide to hop in and swim out. shit.

That would be dangerous for most people to do.

But the real question is whether there are any lessons in Cahill's "Pecked to Death by Ducks" that could have been applied in this setting.

SAR · Post by **SAR** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:47 pm

Pinky wrote:
SAR wrote:2) what is this about "horrified witness looking on?" didn't anyone decide to hop in and swim out. shit.
That would be dangerous for most people to do.

But the real question is whether there are any lessons in Cahill's "Pecked to Death by Ducks" that could have been applied in this setting.

Driving your car on the highway is a very dangerous thing for most people to do. Smoking and eating mcdonalds has a mortality that exponentially outweights the risk of any extreme sport. You'd figure somebody who can swim a mile or so (yeah, I know cold water sucks and makes yo feel like lead) could get out there

SAR · Post by **SAR** » Tue Apr 17, 2012 8:51 pm

nevermind. Just looked it up. The water temperature is around 46-51 in chicago's waters at the moment. I've done laps in my pool when it's 52 and it sucked sucked sucked. Unless the guy was close to shore (under 100 or so yards) it'd take someone who's done some swimming to get out there.
What a shitty story.

Protobuilder · Post by **Protobuilder** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 1:17 am

I vote for rounding up all swans and locking them up before this kind of crap keeps happening.

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:33 pm

"Stop looking at me, swan!"

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:47 pm

This is why swans, ducks and geese need to be eaten.

Up here we have killer motherfucking seals to contend with.

http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/british-c ... ouver.html

This is why we kill and eat them: They're bastards.

seeahill · Post by **seeahill** » Wed Apr 18, 2012 6:57 pm

Sons a bitches are notorious rapists as well. Just ask Leda.

IGX

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