IGX

Today, as I was clipping the brake lines on all the 84,789 illegally chained bicycles in North Brooklyn I ran into Logan and Jeb – two 33 year old emaciated beardos from Kalamazoo – who were having a paper airplane race in front of their $2300 a month studio as they waited for the mailman to deliver their monthly gentrification allowance from Daddy. So, I hosed them down with lighter fluid and rubbed their twig limbs together which caused a spark which ignited those two pieces of fucking shit into flames who burned happily ever after. End of story.

WildGorillaMan wrote:Your honor, my tattoo doesn't say "Die Hipster Die!" it's German: it says "The Hipster The!"

Mickey O'neil wrote:Are you fucking serious with the record player?

Thank you for the worst date ever Mr. Hipster. (Unbelievable)

It’s bad enough you were late but did you really have to ride up to my front door on a skateboard? Really? You are 28 years old. I know I wasn’t dressed to go to the Academy Awards but I looked decent. You however looked like you ran blindly through a thrift store and walked out with whatever stuck to your body. At this point I knew I shouldve texted a friend to call me and pretend I had a family emergency, but I didn’t. So you proceed to take me to some “totally awesome” place that you frequent in the LES. Are you kidding me? A hookah lounge that smells like vomit and is full of NYU kids? It was so dark in there, did you really need to wear your monstrous shades on the whole time? Then you talk about your art and music “career” for 2 hours. Do you really think I was listening after the first 15 minutes? After an entire evening you still don’t know much about me you selfish and narcissistic dolt because you only talked about yourself. Was this your first date? Finally, you ask me to split the bill. I don’t mind doing that, but on a first date??? Are you still wondering why I declined to go to your apartment in Brooklyn that you say you share with 3 other people. I can imagine how filthy it must be if your cool roomates are any reflection of you. Thank you for re-affirming that I should stick with my gut instinct when making decisions, in this case my gut was telling me not to date one of these out of town hipster types. I grew up in NYC and have dated lots of men from here from cops to construction workers to office workers and even though most dates go nowhere, atleast they are normal, polite, clean gentlemen. You however Mr. Hipster are repulsive. Your scene is fading fast. Either grow up or go back to where you came from.