The Courtesy Flush

DrDonkeyLove · Post by **DrDonkeyLove** » Sat Jul 28, 2012 5:41 pm

I have considered and intermittently practiced the men's room etiquette of the courtesy flush for years. Upon further consideration, I've decided that in the majority of cases, the damage is done between ass and water immersion. The courtesy flush is little more than a shit stink placebo that makes everyone feel better but accomplishes little at best.

However, I am not a scientist or philosopher like many here so I may be missing something.

Plus, it's a much more urgent problem than the prezidential race, taxes, gun control, and etc. My chances of paying the highest federal income tax rate or being gun downed in a movie theater are very low but my chances of gagging from the stomach churning stench of the morning men's room at my local airport is very high.

What are the real scientifical truths of the courtesy flush?

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Sat Jul 28, 2012 5:46 pm

The reality is that some bowel movements are so large they need to be flushed in installments.

That said, I think you're on the right track: we need to teach the controversy.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Sat Jul 28, 2012 5:47 pm

One of my favorite bathroom graffito of all time:

All turds over 5lbs must be lowered in by rope.

Thatcher II · Post by **Thatcher II** » Sat Jul 28, 2012 6:53 pm

It's bullshit and also risks splashing dirty toilet water onto your ass, scrotum and perineum. Don't do it. Fuck everyone else's sensibilities. In fact, flushing at all is optional except in extreme circumstances.

Holland Oates · Post by **Holland Oates** » Sat Jul 28, 2012 7:45 pm

Poo-pourri
http://www.poopourri.net

baffled · Post by **baffled** » Sat Jul 28, 2012 8:08 pm

First time I've agreed with gorby in a while. Fuck the world, shit how you please. Chances are, someone around you somehow owes you a courtesy sniff.

Kenny X · Post by **Kenny X** » Sat Jul 28, 2012 9:05 pm

I just performed two courtesy flushes, not an hour ago. My fiancee and I went to chipotle, after the gym.

It was necessary.

milosz · Post by **milosz** » Sat Jul 28, 2012 11:57 pm

If the shit is covered in water, the damage has been done. If it's above the water, courtesy flush will dampen the odor.

The Ginger Beard Man · Sun Jul 29, 2012 4:11 am

WildGorillaMan wrote:The reality is that some bowel movements are so large they need to be flushed in installments.

This. I've overflowed toilets by neglecting the courtesy flush.

Kenny X · Post by **Kenny X** » Sun Jul 29, 2012 12:48 pm

The Ginger Beard Man wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:The reality is that some bowel movements are so large they need to be flushed in installments.
This. I've overflowed toilets by neglecting the courtesy flush.

I'm reminded of the "Upper Decker" party gag.

Back in college I occasionally played on the B-Side rugby team, you could do that as a Freshman, as long as you came to practice, coach would put you in the B-Side games so you could feel it out and see I you liked it, and you were always welcome at the part with the big dogs after the games.

Anyway, we were the home team and we were hosting the after-party at the team captain's house. I think we'd played JMU's team that day. Anyway, somebody shit in the toilet tank, in the bathroom on the main floor or of the house. Maybe it was a few people one right after the other, in a coordinated effort, who knows, probably was, judging from what happened after the team captain's girlfriend went in there to pee and flushed .... Shit-water all over the place, like a radical reenactment of the Great Deluge from The Epic of Gilgamesh. All over the floor and out into the hallway.

Thatcher II · Post by **Thatcher II** » Sun Jul 29, 2012 12:56 pm

Are you sure that didn't happen at Band Camp?

Kenny X · Post by **Kenny X** » Sun Jul 29, 2012 1:45 pm

Gorbachev wrote:Are you sure that didn't happen at Band Camp?

Nope, everybody knows that at Band Camp everybody poops on each other...

Protobuilder · Post by **Protobuilder** » Sun Jul 29, 2012 2:15 pm

Dr. Agkistrodon wrote:
Gorbachev wrote:Are you sure that didn't happen at Band Camp?
Nope, everybody knows that at Band Camp everybody poops on each other...

Oh! The good ole days!

Dan Martin · Post by **Dan Martin** » Sun Jul 29, 2012 2:53 pm

The first priority should be for your ownself.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Sun Jul 29, 2012 3:01 pm

Flush toilets aren't Paleo.

Kenny X · Post by **Kenny X** » Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:09 pm

Terry B. wrote:
Dr. Agkistrodon wrote:
Gorbachev wrote:Are you sure that didn't happen at Band Camp?
Nope, everybody knows that at Band Camp everybody poops on each other...
Oh! The good ole days!

=D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>

Kenny X · Post by **Kenny X** » Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:10 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:Flush toilets aren't Paleo.

Could picking the nuts and things out, whilst foraging, be considered paleo?

Turdacious · Post by **Turdacious** » Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:22 pm

Dr. Agkistrodon wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:Flush toilets aren't Paleo.
Could picking the nuts and things out, whilst foraging, be considered paleo?

Coffee beans!

Hank Scorpio · Post by **Hank Scorpio** » Sun Jul 29, 2012 5:49 pm

It really depends on the design of the toilet basin. Note the prominent shelf in this European, likely Czech, toilet. In this case nearly all of the deposited feces will remain above the water level until washed off upon flushing. A courtesy flush might be a courtesy to yourself.

Kraj 2.0 · Post by **Kraj 2.0** » Sun Jul 29, 2012 9:56 pm

The trick that the 1% keep for themselves when it comes to dealing with bathroom stank is the burning candle. You go into a wealthy elite's bathroom and 95% of the time you'll find a lit candle. Not only does the scent help cover up the odors like an air freshener, but the burning flame combusts all the ass fumes so there are no lingering after-effects of the stillborn food baby you just birthed out of your turd chute.

Thatcher II · Post by **Thatcher II** » Sun Jul 29, 2012 10:12 pm

The 1% also avoid over-eating on gaseous detritus, fermenting that with vile liquids and baking their turds for 3 hours too long to watch a football game. Their idea of "health" includes bowel movements that aren't "epic".

baffled · Post by **baffled** » Sun Jul 29, 2012 11:19 pm

Gorbachev wrote:The 1% also avoid over-eating on gaseous detritus, fermenting that with vile liquids and baking their turds for 3 hours too long to watch a football game. Their idea of "health" includes bowel movements that aren't "epic".

I was cool with the 1% until this post. On your original post, you won me over with perineum.

j-cubed · Post by **j-cubed** » Mon Jul 30, 2012 12:39 am

I thought the courtesy flush was so the dog didn't get sick when drinking out of the bowl. You know, in case something came back up.

Kenny X · Post by **Kenny X** » Mon Jul 30, 2012 1:57 am

j-cubed wrote:I thought the courtesy flush was so the dog didn't get sick when drinking out of the bowl. You know, in case something came back up.

My dog figured out how to open the lid. After that there was no stopping her- the bathroom door has to stay shut at all times.

Thatcher II · Post by **Thatcher II** » Mon Jul 30, 2012 8:24 am

Dr. Agkistrodon wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:Flush toilets aren't Paleo.
Could picking the nuts and things out, whilst foraging, be considered paleo?

I've saved a fortune these last few years using warm shit as a paleo mudpack for my face. The joke is on the knockers. They're the wanker.

IGX

The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?

Re: The Courtesy Flush - Urban Legend or Plumbing Priority?