IGX

Fat Cat wrote:

Mickey O'neil wrote:I bet these women are fat and ugly.

My penis grows everyday several times a day but then goes back to it's resting position later on.

If only the rest of you would grow, short stuff.

Wow, why didn't I see that coming. Nice.

Confession #530

I want to have a baby more than I want to be married to you.

I tell my friends that I don't want to, because I'm so fucking tired of wondering what's wrong with me that you don't want to have a child with me.

If you won't give me a baby, I will leave you. I've been telling you that for a year and a half, and I'm not fucking kidding.

You're fat and unattractive. Case closed, Matlock.

The problem is that most women have the empathy of a fucking snake and the memory of a fucking duck. They preach that touchy feely shit but they only understand affection or "love" if it fits their stupid little fucking window of understanding that they get from faggy ass romantic comedies. And their memory is not only just as bad but also selective.

I won't even start on their perception of what is romantic. Roses, bubble baths, and diamonds always win out over a a steady man who works, doesn't treat her bad, and sees to the lawn and house repairs.

You tell a woman every day that you love her and you think she is beautiful and she gets so used to hearing it that it becomes white noise but Gawd forbid you rub her ass when she feels down because then you're just a fucking animal who is only interested in sex but she forgets that she was using her pussy as a gawdddamn will destroying drug up to the point you said I do.

If they didn't have a pussy you could kill as many of em as you wanted. No license, no tag, no season, and no fucking limit.

I had a fireman(student engineer) he was working his fucking balls off while his cunt wife is at home on her ass. She doesn't work but she has to take the kids to daycare twice a week for mommy's day out. And did I mention it's about 60% pay cut to go from conductor to fireman? Does she volunteer to give up the daycare days? Nope. And she fucking berates him when he gets home and just melts into his chair because he's wore out from lack of sleep and the stress of trying to learn a whole new job. Or he's been up 20+ hours and is only supposed to be off 10 hours and when he gets home she sends him to the doctor's office with a sick kid because she's tired of dealing with him.

I love women and I know a few really good women but I fucking hate cunts and sadly the majority are CUNTS!

You okay Ed?

LOL

I'm good.

I got on a roll. I have a deep hatred for the worthless cunts that inhabit the world today. I love all of the few female friends in my life but that is because they aren't your typical female. I don't have to put up with this kind of shit with the Amazon because for one she is awesome, two she knows I take good care of her and she appreciates me, and three when there is a problem we communicate with each other and shit gets fixed.

I can't abide a cunt. And most cunts have such a skewed sense of reality that they are borderline mentally ill.

And to be honest I hate about 99% of the men I meet as well. I just don't like "normal" people. Slack jawed mouth breathing imbeciles that can tell you every vital stat of whatever inane sport they worship but couldn't tell you shit about their kids.

Say what you want about this fucking sinkhole but at least this bunch of wretches can think for themselves and seem to take a genuine interest in their families and the world around them.

If I didn't have kids I'd hope and pray for an apocalyptic meltdown of society ever day, twice a day.

Dayum... Someone pissed in EZ E's post toasties the last day or two.

You killed my thread EZ. This shit was in good fun.

Could we get it rolling again if I confess that I pee in the shower?

Dear guy I am talking to on the internet: I don't know you, really. But thanks for just making me feel smart and funny and maybe even a tiny bit desirable. There isn't anything that is going to come of our once a day email, but I enjoy having someone talk to me like an intelligent adult human, even briefly.


Aww, poor bastard. Someone should tell him he got friend zoned.

Ha!

Confession #3235

Your BBQ is terrible. I know you think it is a miracle and some kind of manly acomplishment, but ugh. Just terrible.

syaigh wrote:Could we get it rolling again if I confess that I pee in the shower?

I am so turned on right now.

Jezebel Jones wrote:Ha!

Confession #3235

Your BBQ is terrible. I know you think it is a miracle and some kind of manly acomplishment, but ugh. Just terrible.

LOL

I'm posting this on Jason Pegg's Facebook later.

i assumed it was shape's wife

There was a couple I knew, on a "casual friends" sort of basis - we'd hang out together once in a while, always had a good time, but not close.

One day, she calls me, and starts talking. Turns out their 3rd child isn't theirs, but is hers and another man's. The husband knows, as she thought about leaving him for the other guy, but then the other guy dumped her when he found out she was pregnant with his baby. She had already broken the news to the husband, who accepted this, and raised that boy as his own.

Then she told me that she had fucked over 100 men since getting married, that she loved double-penetration, that it was best when she was 7+ months pregnant, and lactating, and she could spray her milk all over her lovers...and that her husband had no idea, and was pretty vanilla.

I never know what to say when people tell me that they fucked over 100 other people. I don't even know 100 women, let alone a hundred women I could get to be in a room with only me (assuming that I didn't use a stun gun, roofies, duct tape, cuffs, choke holds, etc.), let alone a hundred women I could stick my dick into (again, assuming no toys).

So I hung up, and never talked with them again. I miss hanging out with them, now and then, but I couldn't look either of them in the eyes after that phone call.

It's way more fun reading about this stuff over the Internet, where you don't know the parties involved. I'd rather believe that the posters are just making the shit up. It hits way too close to home to think that women can actually live that kind of double life.

I am entirely too Swann-ish, but I'm stuck there.

Do you still have her number?

BobW wrote:There was a couple I knew, on a "casual friends" sort of basis - we'd hang out together once in a while, always had a good time, but not close.

One day, she calls me, and starts talking. Turns out their 3rd child isn't theirs, but is hers and another man's. The husband knows, as she thought about leaving him for the other guy, but then the other guy dumped her when he found out she was pregnant with his baby. She had already broken the news to the husband, who accepted this, and raised that boy as his own.

Then she told me that she had fucked over 100 men since getting married, that she loved double-penetration, that it was best when she was 7+ months pregnant, and lactating, and she could spray her milk all over her lovers...and that her husband had no idea, and was pretty vanilla.

I never know what to say when people tell me that they fucked over 100 other people. I don't even know 100 women, let alone a hundred women I could get to be in a room with only me (assuming that I didn't use a stun gun, roofies, duct tape, cuffs, choke holds, etc.), let alone a hundred women I could stick my dick into (again, assuming no toys).

So I hung up, and never talked with them again. I miss hanging out with them, now and then, but I couldn't look either of them in the eyes after that phone call.

It's way more fun reading about this stuff over the Internet, where you don't know the parties involved. I'd rather believe that the posters are just making the shit up. It hits way too close to home to think that women can actually live that kind of double life.

I am entirely too Swann-ish, but I'm stuck there.

That sucks, man. It's always tough when people don't have a good relationship with their parents. Hope things work out for you guys.

Jezebel Jones wrote:Confession #463

Tonight, when I was bent over, picking up our child's toys, and you leaned in and touched my crotch, I seriously wanted to beat the shit out of you. I'm on the rag. Don't you get it? DON'T TOUCH MY CROTCH WHEN I AM BLEEDING LIKE A STUCK PIG. A more appropriate gesture would have been to hand me the jar of peanut butter and a large chocolate bar. Had you done that instead, you might have gotten a blow job later-instead, you get nothing. One day you might learn-but the odds aren't good.

Seems unlikely this psycho was going to do anybody any favors.

BobW, a therapist friend told me a similar story about one of his clients. Some dude was in therapy because his wife would invite groups of guys over, while he was at work, to run trains on her. Not only that, but she would time it so that the magic was still happenin' when hubby came home from work, and then she would taunt him by calling him weak or some such talk.

Then again, I personally know one man (a 7th Day Adventist) who seriously believes his wife is a demon, and that she is the type of demon whose primary mission is to emasculate men. Fucking for real.

Humans are scary.

This could have been written by my grandmother.

Confession #3279

I hate your stuff. I hate:

-- The picture of stallions, woodburned onto a slab of plywood.
-- The clock made out of a redwood burl with two different styles of numerals, one style surrounded by shiny glue because whoever stuck on that second style to replace the original ones that fell off was kind of incompetent.
-- The two-foot-by-three-foot picture of a ramshackle building by disused railroad tracks, with real wires representing the telephone wires and aluminum foil representing the windows in the building and real rocks glued on to represent the rocks.
-- The flip-numeral clock radio from the seventies that makes grumbling noises every goddamn time the numerals flip.

When you die I will miss you, but I cannot wait to get rid of your stuff.

All men crave strange pussy. All women crave strange cock. Recognize and accept!

The vaginal/uteral tract is a physical/metaphysical void that must be filled.

It may be cock, materialism, alcohol, exercise, date night, girls night out, children, bonbons, career, travel, PTA...whatever...but that vacuum will be filled with a voracious need that leaves mortal men staggered.

To the Andies, Mickies, Fatties, Shapes, and Shafs of the world, who have more than enough sexy to fill it, I salute you.

All men crave strange pussy. All women crave strange cock. Recognize and accept!

Andy FTW

Confession #2224

I am in love with my cousin. I have no intention of doing anything
about it, but his presence makes me glow with joy. I hope it's not
painfully obvious. How embarrassing!