Dr. Agkistrodon wrote:Ed Zachary wrote:Blaidd Drwg wrote:Thou has struck the nail on the head. Being a good parent is sometimes really uncomfortable.
yep
I've said before and it goes like this "being a dad means making hard decisions."
And sometimes there is no "right" decision to make. Sometimes the only options you have, are shitty ones. And I don't envy having to take the least-shitty alternative.
That said- let me state this-
You hear a lot of talk these days about ADHD, bi-polar disorder, and the laundry list of other stuff that this broad's kid was diagnosed with.
I myself have been diagnosed with ADHD, bi-polar disorder as well as generalized anxiety disorder by three trained professionals. I had symptoms of all these things, plus chronic depression, as far back as 10 years old. But my dad didn't give me meds when the teacher called to tell him I acted out in school. He didn't shove ritalin down my throat when I refused to do my homework, or concentrate in class and my grades slipped. He whooped my ass, revoked my TV privileges and watched me, like a hawk every night whilst I did my homework and maintained constant phone contact with my teachers.
And magically, my grades got better, and I eventually went to college.
Point I'm making here is that maybe these diagnoses are indeed tossed around too much. I say that because for the last few years I've been eating right, lifting heavy, getting good sleep every night, and avoiding watching too much TV in favor of reading good books, and I've never felt better. No problems concentrating at my job most of the time. No depression. No mood swings (unless I'm hangry after the gym). No getting all bent out of shape over stupid bullshit all the time like I used to. Things aren't all hunky dory all the time of course, but they are A LOT easier to cope with and I feel good.
Maybe what 60% of the kids diagnosed with this stuff need, is good books, more exercise, better food, and a parent that'll take the the same approach my dad did.
He was also a single father.
Very well said.
My oldest has been a knuckle head from K-4. Smart kid but he;d turn the classroom upside down with his outburst and antics.
His problem is/was that like alot fo brillinet people ( I know all Dad's think their kid is brilliant but even the school thingks he is.) he is smart enough to see how things CAN be or should be but lacks the wisdom to know how shit is and how far you can push with in that reality.
He's like a lawyer (and his teachers have all said "I bet he'll be a good lawyer some day.) becuase he can and will argue anything. I mean sometimes I even see his point.
If he does not want to do something he will waist 60 minutes argueing, fighting and dissrupting then the 15 minutes of work it would actually take.
We would have these "Child Study Meetings" with the teacher, principle, school psycologist and the social worker.
The social worker was using all the ADHD stuff, saying he might need medication. The only assesment she gave I agree with is that he is a "Power seeker" and to me that's not a bad thing once he embraces the mantra of " To be the master one must first be the servent. To be the general he must first be the soldier. To be the Daddy he must first make it out of childhood.
It got so bad that last year they wanted to put him in a special program at another school. This same school is where all the special ed classes are for all the grades in our county. So we call it Animal Farm.
He was there for 3 months last year and he hated it, he hated the stigma of being at what his little brother calls "Retard school! Retard school! Liam goes to retard school! Hahahaha!"
They wanted him to stay there at his actual school but he was told by all it was temporary so I insisted he come back to his school. (another whole story there.)
He finally got what I have been telling him for the last few years "You get marked down as a difficult case, they will just throw you to the trash and it will get worse and worse." He saw some of the trash there and he wants none of that.
So I just continued to work on him much like your dad did you. I have got him involved formally in my Jujutsu school, he fences once a week and I make him do PT. Besides homework I make him read at least 30 minutes a night and I just started today to have him read his books to me while we drive to the Dojo, so he can be better at reading aloud and public speaking. Right now it's an "Alex Rider- Teen secret agent book for young kids but I will phase him into harder reads of impotance like Animal Farm, the Illiad/Odessy, Last of the Mohicans, ect. ( I'm making a Caesar here!

)
He's playing violin in school as well and is starting to show intrest in his Bass guitar again.
He has been doing way better this year. We are not getting phone calls, no big letters from school, no emergnecy confrences or CSM's. His grades are better and he just completed in his first Fencing tournament. (He one his very first match and 1 other out of 6 after only 2 months in Fencing against kids who take classes and private lessons and have a few years in the sport. He was dissapointed he did not win the tourney but he can't wait to go to the next one.)
Now if I had listend to that bitch and let the head shrinker- Drug compnay complex have him God only knows what he would be right now? And maybe he would one day steal my guns and take revenge on a system that said he was defective?
Instead he's doing much better and is on track for great things.
If Barry the Commie can do it, my son can one day be POTUS.
