The couch thread

Cave Canem · Post by **Cave Canem** » Sun Mar 31, 2013 5:21 am

Who would have guessed that @fitters eating their own on the gaymes page and FB could nearly put this thread out of business?

Gary John · Post by **Gary John** » Sun Mar 31, 2013 4:44 pm

We are still adjusting to the loss of the rotary telephone.

Cave Canem · Post by **Cave Canem** » Mon Apr 01, 2013 6:23 pm

Incoherent man apparently talking about CrossFit workout
by Andre Sieg Heil, Aspen Daily News Staff Writer
Monday, April 1, 2013

In what first appeared to be a stroke or a psychotic break, local man Dave Cocket was apparently talking about his morning CrossFit workout within earshot of everyone at Peachy’s Corner Cafe earlier today.

Several witnesses reported Cocket proudly stringing words and numbers together in a chronology that defied logic and grammar, after ordering his quinoa breakfast bowl and coconut water.

“In the box I did 220 on 13 point 2,” Cocket reportedly told anyone who would listen. “That’s seven plus 10 with 115 and 24 inches.”

Standersby asked him if he was all right, offering to call an ambulance.

“The wod was cray and I pee-beed on amraps, dudes,” he responded to the horror of many. “Double unders and tabatas and emoms and burpees, bro, woot!”

A crowd of concerned diners circled around Cocket, attempting to assist him, but the attention seemed only to increase the intensity of his nonsensical monologue and chest-pounding.

“Totally RX’d when Billy scaled on muscle-ups,” he barked into his Bluetooth, watching himself in the reflection of the cafe window.

“Are you OK, sir?” his concerned waitress asked, right before her announcement that she is running for mayor of Aspen.

He appeared to snap out of his mumbling stupor, but then responded, “Ya, I’m paleo.”

First responders and well-known douche bags on the scene diagnosed him as a CrossFitter and spoke to him in his native tongue. They administered several daps and props to Cocket before leaving the coffee shop.

Sources from Facebook told the Daily Planet that Cocket had also taken to posting unfunny memes and videos about CrossFit in recent weeks, along with endorsing Adam Frisch for mayor.

The best April Fool's jokes are ones that you could actually believe happening.

powerlifter54 · Post by **powerlifter54** » Wed Apr 03, 2013 10:51 am

The newest outrage i see in points east is the @fitter crowd slithering out of their backroom @fit box and out onto the gym floor where they now take up the power racks doing sumo high pulls and burpees with a pullup. Eurotrash are even doing it and they are really pathetic. i believe this can only lead to this war being lost.

JonnyCat · Post by **JonnyCat** » Sat Apr 06, 2013 3:33 pm

Seattleites, better jump on these tickets. I see a small fortune being made by scalpers.

Freedom Foundation: How to be a Playa

For $26.62, you get this:

"Be Better, Period." It's a phrase that burns in the hearts of true entrepreneurs. This mantra defines Greg Glassman's journey from a small-business owner in California to a nationally-renowned fitness sensation. Come hear from Greg himself how you, too, can shape your future.

Wonder if there will be a Q&A at the end. Would be a great time to ask about: The RRG, Anthos, Reebok, which gymNAST injury ended his career and gave him his signature gangsta limp and his preferred label of gin.

Bobby · Post by **Bobby** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 2:12 am

And what kind of injury has stopped him from using the rest of his body.

baffled · Post by **baffled** » Sun Apr 07, 2013 2:19 am

Saw an advertisement for a local @F affiliate in a liquor store today. Didn't have any andro broads in it. The locals around here are either on the golf course and/or drunk as fuck all the time, or Mexicans and negroids. Not a great target market for several hundred dollars a month to blow a disc in your back.

buckethead · Post by **buckethead** » Thu Apr 11, 2013 10:00 pm

CrossFit Football’s John Welbourn: High-Intensity Power Training, Paleo Diet & More

John Welbourn is the big man behind CrossFit Football. A nine-year veteran of the NFL, he brings a multi-disciplinary approach to elite strength and conditioning.

I never got strong lifting light weights. Never got fast running slow. Never got smarter learning from dumb people. – John Welbourn, CrossFit Football

John played football for U.C. Berkeley and earned a bachelor’s degree in rhetoric

Article

TerryB · Post by **TerryB** » Fri Apr 12, 2013 3:34 pm

Did he ever get fit training like a moron?

Shafpocalypse Now · Post by **Shafpocalypse Now** » Fri Apr 12, 2013 6:41 pm

Welbourn, like Wolf and Everett, and a few others, are upright folks, and whom have my respect for being knowledgable and effective, even of I might not agree with everything, on the big stuff, it's all good.

Mickey O'neil · Post by **Mickey O'neil** » Wed Apr 17, 2013 2:26 pm

Christmas Abbott was on The Jason Ellis Show yesterday. Seems pretty cool for a @fitter. At least until she started wailing on about @fit but she wasn't too bad about it.

Drew0786 · Post by **Drew0786** » Wed Apr 17, 2013 3:17 pm

Mickey you need to start a thread for just the photos you use in your sig.

Now back to regular programming: Xfitters suck, Couch is drunk....

tough old man · Post by **tough old man** » Wed Apr 17, 2013 4:18 pm

I worked out in a college gym yesterday. It was squat day and had the pleasure of working in with 3 crossfitters. I think I hurt them when the squats got over 225. I tried to explain PL54s fun with quarters method but they couldnt go up 50. I was alone for the last hour, it was nice. They went on to powercleans sort of.

Mickey O'neil · Post by **Mickey O'neil** » Wed Apr 17, 2013 4:31 pm

I may do that.

Drew0786 wrote:Mickey you need to start a thread for just the photos you use in your sig.

Now back to regular programming: Xfitters suck, Couch is drunk....

I dig big chicks · Post by **I dig big chicks** » Wed Apr 17, 2013 4:45 pm

Mickey O'neil wrote:Christmas Abbott was on The Jason Ellis Show yesterday. Seems pretty cool for a @fitter. At least until she started wailing on about @fit but she wasn't too bad about it.

She was on Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel last night. I didn't watch it, but I will try to catch the replay. I know her briefly from some clinics I did down her way. She was very cool and open when I met her, and definitely interested in talking about herself and how awesome she is. When she stopped being the center of attention, though, she turned bitchy real quick. Then she apologized and explained that's how she is.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Wed Apr 17, 2013 5:13 pm

I've never met Xmiss A but you can assess her for at least two personality disorders at a glance. If the genesis of someone's fame is @fit, be wary. This includes the Wolfs and Everetts who have been ejected from the hive.

The man in black · Post by **The man in black** » Wed Apr 17, 2013 6:13 pm

I'm starting to think Olympic lifters have been doing the split stance wrong all along and it is actually done by putting your feet out to the side. I understand sometimes shit form happens, I just can't understand posting up videos and pictures of it everywhere.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:03 pm

JonnyCat wrote:Seattleites, better jump on these tickets. I see a small fortune being made by scalpers.

Freedom Foundation: How to be a Playa

For $26.62, you get this:

"Be Better, Period." It's a phrase that burns in the hearts of true entrepreneurs. This mantra defines Greg Glassman's journey from a small-business owner in California to a nationally-renowned fitness sensation. Come hear from Greg himself how you, too, can shape your future.
Wonder if there will be a Q&A at the end. Would be a great time to ask about: The RRG, Anthos, Reebok, which gymNAST injury ended his career and gave him his signature gangsta limp and his preferred label of gin.

If I thought for a moment I could stay in character, I'd consider going but I imagine it's more tightly scripted than an inaguration speech.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:11 pm

Blaidd Drwg wrote:If the genesis of someone's fame is @fit, be wary.

I resent that.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:23 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Blaidd Drwg wrote:If the genesis of someone's fame is @fit, be wary.
I resent that.

Goes treble for you.

WildGorillaMan · Post by **WildGorillaMan** » Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:43 pm

Blaidd Drwg wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:
Blaidd Drwg wrote:If the genesis of someone's fame is @fit, be wary.
I resent that.
Goes treble for you.

You wound me, sir.

Blaidd Drwg · Post by **Blaidd Drwg** » Wed Apr 17, 2013 7:52 pm

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Blaidd Drwg wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:
Blaidd Drwg wrote:If the genesis of someone's fame is @fit, be wary.
I resent that.
Goes treble for you.

You wound me, sir.

Sure, but it's extra and you have to bring your own ball gag.

I dig big chicks · Post by **I dig big chicks** » Thu Apr 18, 2013 1:37 am

Blaidd Drwg wrote:I've never met Xmiss A but you can assess her for at least two personality disorders at a glance.

That's the hottest thing about her.

Sassenach · Post by **Sassenach** » Thu Apr 18, 2013 3:19 am

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Blaidd Drwg wrote:If the genesis of someone's fame is @fit, be wary.
I resemble that.

milosz · Post by **milosz** » Thu Apr 18, 2013 5:00 am

Narcissist with no tits, I'll pass.

What's that Camille Crossfit chick up to? At least she had a hot accent.

IGX

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